The Ties that Bind
by Mercury97
Summary: After the Destroyer, Jane is broken, a shell of her former self. At the hands of Thanos, Loki has also been broken and is now reborn. He arrives on Earth to steal the Tesseract and to murder Jane. Everything changes, though, when Loki discovers that he needs Jane. Is she strong enough to survive Loki? Slow-burn Lokane. Begins canon-compliant after Thor, will be AU eventually.
1. Prologue

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

* * *

 _Day 204_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Jane frantically wiped the burning tears from her cheeks with a shaking hand. She blinked several times to clear her vision, but the fuzziness remained at the edges. The transmission suddenly screeched. Jane jumped, her heart painfully accelerating even faster than it already was. Only after a second attempt to shift to third gear did she realize that her left foot wasn't even on the clutch. A dull hiss filled her ears.

 _Focus, Foster! Keep it together._ Sunlight bounced off the freshly fallen snow and cut through the windshield, even though it was the weaker winter version of the New Mexico sun. Squinting against the light, Jane searched for the outcropping she used as her landmark. The bulky van lumbered over frozen waves in the sand. A particularly sharp bump snapped her teeth together, catching her tender cheek between them. Jane cried out at the pain. She tasted copper at the back of her throat. Her vision narrowed even more and dizziness thumped at her skull.

 _Please let me find it...please be there._ Sucking in each breath was painful against the vise grip of panic. Jane dragged her hand across her sweaty forehead then regretted it when her wet hand slipped on the gear shift. The steering wheel wrenched out of her slack grasp as the utility vehicle's tires fought with the washboard path.

 _There!_ Even after nearly seven months, a few ridges and whorls remained on the desert floor where the sand had been melted to glass by the blast. Skiffs of snow swirled and gathered in the indentations, highlighting the site. Jane blinked back sudden tears of gratitude at this unexpected help. She brought the hulking vehicle to a halt a few yards away.

 _Breathe, Jane. Steady. In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four._ But her head still pounded and her heart still raced out of control. She pulled the handle of the door and pushed it open with her shoulder. Her legs buckled, and she had to wait a few seconds before she could stand and close the car door. The sharp _chunk_ of the metal door closing resounded in the empty desert.

Jane hesitated for a beat. What was she doing? This was crazy. Hysterical giggles erupted from her chest. _This_ was crazy? No. _This_ was a sane response to the absolute insanity that had blown up her life. One foot slid forward, then the other. Jane steadied herself with a hand on the car's hood.

 _Breathe, two, three, four…_ She shivered and pulled her barn jacket closer around her. In her haste she had forgotten her hat and gloves. A breeze stirred, raising goosebumps along her neck and arms.

Her toe nudged one of the glassy ridges along the perimeter. She took a couple of steps inside for good measure, and threw her head back, searching the afternoon sky, but there was no sign waiting for her.

"H...Heim….dall?" Her voice came out thin, reedy, powerless. Humiliation washed over her. _What an idiot._ Jane cleared her throat.

"Heimdall?" Stronger this time, clearer. She took a deep breath and pushed the dizziness away. "I hope that you can hear me."

A wave of terror suddenly crashed over Jane, squeezing her stomach and buckling her legs. She dropped to her knees on the frozen desert floor. Her stomach lurched and Jane swallowed hard to maintain her composure. _Please don't let me throw up now. Not here._

The melting snow soaked through her jeans and numbed her knees. Jane welcomed the distraction. She scooped up a small handful of snow and pressed it to her face. Cold rivulets trickled down her arms, wetting her sleeves. _Breath, two, three, four. Focus._

Jane stayed on her knees, though the cold burned and ached. She tipped her head back again.

"Heimdall, I beg you, please don't tell...I'm not sure what you've seen these last few days, but please, please, _please_ don't tell. I'm not a danger to…to Asgard, to Earth, to anyone! I didn't know—I didn't want—I'll figure this out, I'll handle it. Please help me...please...don't tell…"

Another wave of crushing panic swept from her toes to her head, overwhelming her this time. Her stomach heaved and emptied itself, tears flowed freely, snot ran down her chin. The convulsions twisted her so strongly that she could not stay upright. Her vision dimmed, the buzzing in her ears grew louder.

"Ahhh! I can't—stop—help me, please!"

* * *

A/N: A million thanks to dristi5683 for reading, advising, and encouraging. You're a sweetheart!


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Just a warning that this chapter has some icky parts.

Thanks again to dristi5683 for her amazing help!

* * *

 _Day 100_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Ceramic shatters. Darcy and Erik have dropped their coffee cups on the concrete floor.

Four figures stand outlined by the bright sun, dressed for a Renaissance Fair.

Thor says they shouldn't have come. He admits, "My father is dead because of me. I must remain in exile."

Sif is confused: "Thor, your father still lives."

All eight of them stand mute for a beat, the unspoken words ringing in their ears: _Loki is a liar..._

A dull roar. Impossibly, a funnel cloud in a clear blue sky. It shoots down and touches the earth.

"Was somebody else coming?" Hope fills Darcy's voice.

A giant metal man, a monster, takes shape in the desert. Someone whispers, "The Destroyer."

Nausea blooms in the pit of Jane's stomach. The others all push into the street, carrying her with them. A jumble of voices:

"Jane, you have to leave."

"Thor's going to fight with us!"

"I can help get these people to safety."

"Well, if you're staying, then so am I."

Some of the voices were hers.

The group splits up, shooing the residents of Puente Antiguo away from the monster. Every person just stands there, paralyzed, until someone else tells them to run, to hide.

Bone-jarring thud. Crunch. The Destroyer, ribbons of metal, a modern sculpture.

She is paralyzed too. Thor hauls her around a corner. Erik and Darcy are already there, crouching, waiting. Jane peeks around the corner.

A furnace roars to life inside the alien robot. A beam of fire shoots from where its face should be, slicing through a building and sending a van tumbling end over end. The acrid smell of burning rubber clogs her nose.

Another beam of fire. The 7-Eleven explodes, gas pumps bursting, flames leaping higher than Puente Antiguo's buildings. Black smoke billows, choking them all.

Out of a solid wall of flames, the Destroyer emerges and continues its inexorable march toward them. Volstagg launches himself toward the machine. Her heart pounds painfully in her ears. He is swatted out of the air like a fly and crunches into the back of a car.

Volstagg doesn't move. The Destroyer clangs its way to the immobilized man. The ominous glow begins to build.

Jane frantically clutches Thor's flannel shirt. "Thor! Do something!"

Thor shakes his head sadly. "There is nothing I can do, Jane."

Sif makes a flying leap onto the robot's back, long sword drawn. Too late. The stream of fire has already engulfed Volstagg. His screams echo through the small town. Jane can't see him—for which she is grateful—but she can hear his agony, the animal sounds ripping from his throat as he is roasted alive. A second later it hits her—she can _smell_ his burning flesh. Her gorge rises. She swallows hard to keep control.

Another scream pierces the air, then another and another. Screams of excruciating pain, terror, no hope. Jane reflexively looks around the corner toward the noise. A piece of debris from the monster's rampage hurtles down the street toward her, then another and another. She flinches and draws back, reaching out to Thor for security, but he's not there. Nor are Darcy or Erik. She's alone.

Darcy and Thor huddle in the doorway of a building across the street. How did they get there? Why did they leave her alone? Where is Erik?

Darcy motions to Jane. Jane hesitates, not wanting to catch the Destroyer's attention. Darcy beckons again, smiling.

Jane risks walking a few more steps into the street to see exactly where the Destroyer is. She stumbles and looks down to see Fandral staring at her. Fandral is staring at her. His head is lying in the street in a pool of blood, ribbons of muscle and veins trailing down the street. A dismembered arm lies a short distance away. An arm too slender to be Fandral's. _Sif!_

She whirls around, desperate to get away from the hideous sight, but the gorge she's been swallowing down rises up too strongly this time. Involuntarily Jane bends double, vomiting up the eggs and coffee she's just eaten. Again and again, she retches, splattering her jeans and boots with chunks of half-digested food. Panic rises—she has to get out of the street—but her body is immobilized with the force of expelling her stomach's contents. Still gagging, she forces her feet to _move_.

Jane wipes her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt and looks up to make sure Darcy is still waiting for her. Two more steps and she trips over another piece of debris and falls, landing in something warm and wet. What used to be Hogun. His body is split nearly in two, his intestines spilling out onto the dusty road. And now on Jane's hands and knees. She whimpers and chokes on the stench of feces in the air. Jane scrambles to her feet, slipping and nearly falling again.

She whispers desperately, "Darcy!" and stumbles to the doorway of the building. She is alone. Darcy and Thor are gone. Jane falls to her knees, pleading for someone to stop this horror. Jane pushes her hair back from her face. Only then does she remember that she has Hogun's blood and bits of his entrails on her hands. The odor of death and filth is overwhelming. Her stomach fills with acid and seizes again, but there is nothing to expel.

"Jane!" Erik calls to her.

She looks up to see her mentor in the building next to hers. He calls her name again, more loudly. The Destroyer suddenly appears out of the dust cloud next to Erik. Erik doesn't seem to see it, and begins to run to Jane. Jane waves her hands "no" at Erik, signaling him to go back into the building. But Erik doesn't stop, doesn't go back. And the Destroyer picks up a twisted piece of metal from the ground. And throws it. At Erik. Jane screams at him to look out. She thinks he opens his mouth to answer her, but it's blood that gushes out, not words. He looks puzzled; he doesn't realize there is a jagged piece of steel where his heart and lungs used to be. Erik falls, reaching for her, falling somewhere to the side where she can't see him.

The Destroyer stands impassively in the street. Looking at her. She crawls back into the building, flops on the floor. Her breaths are shallow and rapid. She's not getting enough oxygen. Her vision has narrowed, a black haze creeping up. Her heart is going to give out, she knows it.

"Jane!" This time it's Darcy calling to her. "Nooo," moans Jane weakly. "Darcy, no…" Jane tries to stand up, but her legs have become unbelievably heavy. She struggles until she can turn over, then army crawls to the door. Darcy is standing in the street.

"Jane! It's me, Darcy!" Darcy is smiling at her and waving. "Hey, come on! It's me, Darcy! Jane!"

Jane props herself up on one arm and waves Darcy away. She has to get away. She's insane.

Darcy keeps waving and smiling. No one listens to Jane. Why won't they listen to her? Doesn't Darcy see the bodies and the blood?

Jane hears the creak of metal on metal, and she wants to look away. She wants to close her eyes, and she thinks she does, but she can still see everything.

"Darcy, get away! Run!" But Darcy just keeps calling her name and waving. And when the river of fire pours over her, she screams and screams Jane's name. As her flesh turns black and melts off her body. As her eyes explode and her mouth opens so wide her jaw falls off. As her bones splinter and blacken in the heat, and her skull splits in two.

Jane tries to scream, but her throat is dry. There are no more screams. _Where is Thor?_

In the next instant, she wishes she had never wondered. Thor's voice rings out above the cacophony of crumbling buildings, screeching metal, and the screams of the dying.

"Brother!"

Thor is hidden by the smoke and debris from Jane's sight. _What is he doing?!_

"Whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry. But these people were innocent. Taking more lives will gain you nothing. So take mine and end this."

 _No! No! Please, don't leave me alone. Don't leave me alone._ Jane holds her breath. She hears no explosion, sees no fireball. _Did it work? Is it over?_ A tiny flicker of hope flares up. Jane pulls herself forward a few more inches, straining to see through the dust and smoke.

Then: _CRACK!_ Gruesome, unmistakeable—a neck broken, a body torn apart. Thor lands heavily a foot away from Jane. He faces her, his eyes open, but his neck is at a grotesque, unnatural angle to his body. Blood drips from his nose, his eyes, his ears, his mouth.

She claps her free hand over her mouth to stifle the scream.

"Ja...ne," Thor chokes out, his hands grasping futilely at his chest, his legs twitching.

She whispers, "Thor—no! No! You can't leave me alone!"

But his eyes are already dulling, his hands frozen into claws.

Jane is alone with a monster.

Alone.

 _Let me die let me die Iwanttodie…_

The blinding sunlight of a hot New Mexico day dissolved into the dark warmth of a New Mexico night. The screams of the mangled and dying faded away, but the taste of blood and the smell of sick remained. And the terror. Always the paralyzing terror.

Jane blinked her eyes over and over, trying to clear her vision. She saw nothing but fuzzy gray as tears streamed freely down the sides of her face. Her legs were caught, immobilized. She was vulnerable. At the mercy of the monster.

Another scream rose up in her raw throat. Then something touched her arm. Jane let the scream go and threw her hands out to ward off the horror. A voice, "Jane. It's me. Darcy. It's me. Shhhh. You're all right. You're all right now."

Jane whimpered and thrashed from side to side, desperate to escape. Her hands scrambled for purchase, slipping on the blood of her friends. This was a trick. Darcy was dead. "Your legs are caught in your covers, Jane. Let me help you."

"No! Get away from me!" The buzzing in her ears intensified, sharpened, until Jane realized she heard her own screams.

Another set of hands, tying her down, preparing to kill her. Another false voice, another trick. "Jane. It's Erik. We want to help you. Wake up. It's a nightmare. It's not real. You're all right. You're safe."

 _No, I'm not safe._ Jane had just seen the monster punch a hole right through Erik's torso, tearing out his heart and lungs and leaving a pile of raw meat on the sidewalk.

The fake-Darcy pulled at her paralyzed legs. "Help me, Erik. Hold her down while I untangle these covers."

Another scream as they pinned her to her bed. Her heart pumped frantically—she tried to fight off her attackers, but they were too strong.

Her legs suddenly swung free and connected solidly with something soft. She heard a cry of pain. Good.

"Jane! Enough! You must wake up!"

A shock of pain exploded across her face. Momentarily stunned, Jane blinked her eyes once, twice, three times. Her vision cleared enough to see the seams in the ceiling of her trailer. Tears still trailed down her temples, but she could make out two faces hovering over her. The buzzing lessened and faded away, until she could hear the humming of the air conditioner. Her heart rate slowed. So did her breathing, and she was suddenly short of oxygen and gasped loudly. The sharp odor of vomit lingered, though, and she knew that she had been sick all over herself.

"Jane? Dang it, girl. That hurt." Darcy's voice sounded raspy. She coughed weakly.

A strong arm slipped under her shoulders and pulled her upright. "Sit up, Jane."

Jane complied with Erik's request, pushing herself up into a sitting position. Her hair stuck to her cheeks, glued by something she would rather not think about. "Did you"—her throat was so sore, the taste in her mouth so foul—"Did you slap me?"

Erik sighed and crouched by her bedside. "I did. I'm sorry, Jane, but I had to. You actually hurt Darcy this time. It's getting harder to wake you from your nightmares."

Darcy patted her arm. "Come on, Jane, let's get you into the shower. You'll feel better when you don't stink so bad. Erik'll strip your bed."

Jane sat unresponsive. Erik curved his arm around her back and gently prodded her into motion. She swung her legs off the bed and carefully stood upright. A couple of halting steps brought her to the end of her bed. She reached for the bathrobe hanging on the door but Darcy stopped her.

"Um, let me get that for you. You're kind of all covered in...gross."

Jane dropped her hand and stood motionless. Darcy stepped in front of her.

"Jane? Do you want to shower here in the little bitty trailer bathroom or do you want to go to the lab?"

"I don't care."

"Hmm. Okay. Let's just stay here, 'kay?"

Jane nodded.

Darcy looked from Jane's soiled nightclothes to the tiny bathroom and then to Erik, still removing fouled sheets. There wasn't room to strip in there.

"Ummm…"

Erik glanced up. "Just a minute. I'm almost done here and then I'll take these to the washer in the lab."

Darcy rubbed her hand up and down Jane's back. "Almost ready, 'kay?"

Jane didn't respond.

Erik brushed past Darcy carrying the unappetizing bundle of linens. "Come get me when you need me."

Darcy shut the trailer door behind him and turned to Jane. "Okay, come on, let's get this gross thing off of you."

Jane swayed a bit on her feet but made no move to remove her nightshirt.

Darcy sighed, then smiled. "All right, I'll help you."

She gathered the hem of the shirt and began to lift, careful to keep the vomit-soiled side rolled inside. Jane listlessly lifted her arms so Darcy could pull the shirt over her head. Darcy wadded the shirt up and set it on the closed toilet seat. She turned back to Jane.

"Oh, Jane…" The words escaped before Darcy could stop herself. Moonlight filtered through the tiny windows of the trailer, dappling Jane's naked form, but failing to hide the ugly truth. Jane had always been petite, but now she was just scrawny. Her hipbones and collarbone poked sharply through her dull, rough skin. Large bruises surrounded her eyes, and her lips were dry and cracked. A spot of dried blood showed where she chewed her lip. Her hair hung limp and damaged down her back.

"Jane, Jane, why didn't you call me? I didn't know things had gotten so bad. I would have taken the semester off to take care of you."

Jane blinked at her, her eyes too large in her wasted face. "I'm...okay. I just need to shower and...umm, brush my teeth and have some coffee. I'll be fine."

Darcy stepped aside and let Jane through to the miniscule shower stall. "I'll be right here with your towel when you're done, 'kay?"

Jane didn't answer, just turned on the shower spray and stepped under it, not bothering to check the temperature.

Darcy frowned, shaking her head.

Jane Foster was broken.


	3. Chapter 2

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks to dristi5683 for her time and help! She inspired me to stop skulking and start writing. Check out her great stories. I love her Loki & Jane stories, but she's making me warm up to Jane & Bucky, too. :)

* * *

 _Day 100_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

"How did you find this place?" Thor ducks his head to avoid another moss-laden branch as he picks his way across the plush forest floor.

Loki stifles a snort of laughter. Thor has missed the branch, but the bright green moss now adorns his golden hair.

"Mmmm...you look ravishing, Brother."

Thor swings around, fist ready. Loki merely cocks an eyebrow and points to his brother's head.

"The green does bring out the highlights in your eyes. You should wear that to dance with the second daughter of the Grand Vizier of Whatever-heim tonight. I'm sure she'll be dazzled."

Thor grins in spite of himself and plucks the moss from his head, throwing it at Loki.

"Green has always been your color, little brother, not mine."

Loki disappears. The moss falls to the ground. Thor drops into a battle crouch, eyes darting, palm wrapping around Mjolnir's handle. This is an old game. When he sees no shimmers of magic around him, he risks a glance up. The perpetual fog drapes over the lacy leaf canopy, continually weeping its excess down the trunks of the trees. Rustling catches his attention, but it's only one of the small, strange animals that inhabit this Midgardian forest. The deep carpet of rotting vegetation and the heavy veil of clouds mutes all sounds. He almost doesn't hear the boulder rolling toward him. Almost.

Thor twists at the last second, casually swinging Mjolnir. The huge rock explodes, raining dust and pebbles. Thor lifts his eyes. Loki stands on a rise next to a raw smear of ground where the boulder had rested. He smirks and shrugs his shoulders.

Thor shakes his head and turns around to continue their journey. Two steps later, he suddenly pivots and shoots like an arrow toward Loki, Mjolnir leading the way. Loki has only enough time to put up his hands to cushion the blow. The two brothers roll down the small hill, wrestling, pulling hair, and punching. Loki lands on his back, Thor straddling him. Thor draws his fist back for a punch. But Loki knocks his brother off-balance and springs to his feet. His triumphant laugh doesn't last for long—Thor yanks his feet out from underneath him.

The fall knocks the wind out of Loki and the two lie on the mat of the forest floor, breathing heavily. Loki doesn't know who starts it, but it begins as a chuckle and progresses to a full-on belly laugh. Soon both of them are rolling on the ground, clutching their sides and wiping tears from their eyes.

Thor chokes out, "Your face! You should have seen the look on your face when I flew at you! Ha!"

Loki slugs him weakly on the arm and retorts, "I still think that moss makes a better adornment for you than that ridiculous helmet you wear."

"Cow."

"Chicken."

"Awwwk?" Thor and Loki startle and glance at each other.

"That wasn't me."

"Wasn't me, either."

Still lying on the ground, they tilt their heads back. An enormous, ugly bird stands just behind them, with a wicked hooked beak.

Thor whispers, "You said we had nothing to worry about here."

"We didn't. That was before you decided to crash around through the forest and wake the _kuntur_ up."

"Me? You were the one who pushed a boulder down a hill!"

"Awwwk!" The bird cocks its head and bobs closer to them. Talons the size and sharpness of throwing knives pass uncomfortably close to their exposed heads.

"What do we do now? Should we play dead?"

Loki grins. "You can if you want. This bird _eats_ the dead. I'm going to run!"

They both leap to their feet just as the deadly beak slams into the ground where they had been lying.

"AWWWK!"

The bird takes flight, not willing to let such a feast get away. The brothers scramble through the thick undergrowth, ducking under branches and dodging boulders. Finally, they pause.

Loki cocks his head to listen for squawking or the beating of feathers. "I think we escaped. That bird was much too large to follow us through those mazes of vines."

But now that he has stopped running, a stinging pain spreads from his back down to his fingers. Loki cranes his neck, trying to see the source, but cannot. He turns his back toward Thor.

"It hurts."

Thor frowns. "Your tunic is torn and you've blood all over, Brother. Take off your tunic. Let me see what's wrong."

"No, not now. Let's get what we came for and leave."

"I have a healing stone with me. It looks like that bird caught you with its talons."

The pain pulses deeper into his chest. He struggles to draw a full breath.

"No, I just want to get home. Let's go." Loki ignores Thor's protests and continues on their quest.

Each footfall jars his bones, sending an electric stab of pain into his core. The fog lowers until his vision is clouded. Moisture drips down his face, slides down his back and slips into his wounds like acid. Loki grits his teeth.

"It should be...just up this rise, in the hollow of that great fallen tree."

Thor looks up. "Where?"

Loki tries to lift his arm to point the way, but finds that it weighs nearly as much as Mjolnir. "Jus' follow me. Up there, then home," his words slurring.

Walking up the last small swell of the ground, Loki stumbles several times. It might as well be a bare mountain. Every nerve in his body sizzles with agony. The luxurious carpet of fallen leaves is a series of snares for his feet. Lush green branches are claws tearing at his eyes, his face.

But then there it is—the prize. Snow-white petals with maroon stains arch proudly from an oval center. Blooms the size of a trencher, dozens of them.

Thor stops. "Mother will love these flowers."

Loki gasps for air. "Yes...I...know." He pulls a dagger from its sheath and hands it to Thor. "Could...you...cut?"

Thor takes the dagger and swiftly slices several of the blooms off their stems.

Loki collapses to the ground. "Bro—ther….ahh!...please...healing...stone. I can't—ahhh!"

Thor merely watches Loki. "Hmmm. I don't know, Loki."

Loki rocks back and forth, vainly trying to escape the pain. "Thor! Help...me."

"You know, I think _I_ will present these to Mother for her birthday. She'll appreciate knowing that I thought of her."

Invisible fangs slice his fingers and toes, a stake of pain impales his heart. He cannot breathe. The forest falls apart, pieces of trees wheeling off into the emptiness of the Void, chunks of black earth disintegrating.

"Thhh...ooorrr…" His voice is crumbling, too, wheezing, gasping. "Heee….lllll….p."

Thor shoves his face into Loki's, snarling, spitting. "As though I would help a Jotun _runt_. Mother will be happy to know I left you here." He spins on one heel and shouts to the fracturing sky, "Heimdall! Open the Bifrost!"

A blast of rainbow light pounds the fragile ground. Loki reaches toward the light, toward Thor, but the ground under him gives way and he falls, falls, falls. "AHHHH! Thor! Don't! Please don't...leave me...here."

The only answer he receives is a hideous laugh as Thor disappears.

Loki was dying. He knew this. He had been torn to shreds. His magic no longer responded to his call. Just drawing a single breath was an ordeal. He whimpered, too far gone to care how pathetic he was.

The forest had gone, leaving Loki lying on a black chunk of rock. Cold. Bare. Alone. Eviscerated. He opened his eyes wide, straining to see some light, some evidence that Thor hadn't really let him fall, that Heimdall would keep the Bifrost open for him.

A fetid odor filled his nostrils. He squeezed his eyes shut. Of course. How stupid of him to forget. Nausea rose, causing him to salivate and swallow. And swallowing was agony when your throat was torn apart.

"Still dreaming of the good old days, Loki _Odinson_?" The raspy voice pushed into Loki's ears, demanding his attention. It always felt like a violation. But then, what ever happened on this rock that _wasn't_ a violation?

"Hmm. I'm surprised, and a bit disappointed. That seems...childish of you. When Master has offered you so much more than the All-Father ever would. Did Odin offer you a throne? Did he create an army just for you?"

Loki grasped at the wisps of memory that yet teased him from the shards of his mind.

 _Frigga's embrace after he saved Odin's life…_

 _You are our son, Loki, and we your family…_

 _Whatever I have done to wrong you, I am truly sorry…_

 _You are my son. I only wanted to protect you..._

"No, Odin wouldn't give a throne to a Frost Giant, would he? But Master welcomes you just as you are."

At this Loki slid his swollen eyes open and stared at the robed figure. From deeply cracked lips and a bleeding throat, Loki croaked, "As I—am? Broke...every...bone."

The visitor growled a warning that Loki knew well. He whimpered again, though it made him hate himself.

"I'd be careful if I were you, _Laufeyson_. Master needed to mold you a little. You should be grateful. What else has been left to you?"

 _No…_

 _Odin...said no…_

 _Thor...would find out he was actually the monster Thor had promised to exterminate..._

 _Frigga...would discover that he had let Laufey into Odin's chamber himself…_

 _What was left for him? Who...was left for him?_

"You must choose, Loki No-One's-Son. Master has a mission for you. Or...we can continue your re-education. Master is very creative. You'll beg for something as sweet as pain."

Loki closed his eyes again and slid further into himself.

 _What was left for him? Who wanted him? Everyone he knew had lied to him with every breath. No one had come to rescue him. He was no son. He was a tool at best. Better to be a tool in the hands of an honest monster than a lying one._

And with that, the last strand of hope snapped.

Slowly, painfully: "I accept Thanos' generous offer."

" _Very_ wise decision, runt."

The robed one stepped closer to the figure lying flayed and bloody like a sacrifice. He waved his hands back and forth above Loki's body.

"AHHH!" Loki wasn't expecting more torture. This was the worst yet—millions of pinpricks, needle jabs, dagger stabs on every square inch of his body. Tears ran unheeded from the corners of his eyes.

"Relax, runt. Don't fight it."

Wait—what was this? He drew in a full breath, he flexed his fingers, he slammed open his eyes. This wasn't torture, this was his magic forcing its way back into his broken body. Unable to stop himself, he laughed long and loud.

Loki No-One's-Son was reborn.


	4. Chapter 3

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks to those who have read and reviewed, favorited and followed! I've had this story in my head for a long time, and it's so much fun to see others enjoying it too. It is all plotted out, so unless the world comes crashing down, I will finish.

Special thanks to my beta, dristi5683, and to her sister. Your suggestions and comments were so helpful!

* * *

 _Day 123_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

He always forgot how harsh the sun felt, how flat, brown, and scrubby the landscape was at this portal. Loki shielded his eyes and scanned his surroundings.

The immediate area looked abandoned. Good. Disposing of mortal witnesses was a complication he didn't need. A few pieces of torn plastic sheeting were the only evidence left of the fuss the mortals had made over Mjolnir. That, and the hammer's crater still in the sandy soil.

Loki eyed the gouge in the ground. Bitter humiliation lingered in the back of his throat. He would have preferred not to visit this particular site, but it took less energy to traverse previously traveled paths. And he still needed to conserve his energy.

Loki slowly turned in a circle, eyes closed, tasting the air. It had to be close by. _There_. He stopped abruptly, his leather surcoat swinging around his legs. Loki drew in a deeper breath and savored the familiar tang of the Bifrost's magic. The woman would be in that direction. He lowered his head and narrowed his eyes. A slow grin sliced across his pale face.

 _Time to pay her that visit I promised._

oooOOOooo

Matt Lauer droned on from the television mounted under the kitchenette cabinet. The coffee was weak. White, sticky chunks slid out of the milk carton. Dirty mugs crowded the counter. Her scalp itched.

Jane shrugged. _Whatever._

She turned and lifted her gaze across her lab, looking for a table laden with gadgets and gizmos. Jane saw only vaguely sinister shapes. The blackout blinds did their job covering the too-many windows of the converted service station. But Jane knew the table was there. She should at least turn the machines on, send some sort of report. SHIELD must expect _something_ in return for the large deposit in her bank account. Jane swallowed hard. _Maybe tomorrow._

The shock of a text notification sent an unpleasant jolt across her heart. Gritting her teeth, Jane tried to swipe her phone's screen and missed. She blinked her eyes and tried again. Erik.

 _Erik S.: Have you looked at the data set I sent you?_

Jane set the phone down on the countertop, message unanswered. An uncomfortable pressure built in her abdomen. _No, please! Not another one...breathe, Jane...two, three, four…_

 _Rrrrrrroooooowwwwww._

Jane smiled, if only a tiny, twisted smile. Oh. Her body just wanted food. It did strange things like that—demanded to be fed, forced her to inhale. She rummaged around in the cabinet and found some stale saltines. These would do. She stuck one in her mouth and chewed.

The phone lit up and vibrated again.

 _Erik S.: Jane, answer my message. Or I'll call the sheriff's office and ask for a safety check on you. Again._

Jane reached for her coffee mug and took a swig to fortify herself. _Ugh!_ Jane spit the foul liquid all over the counter and rushed to the sink. She turned on the tap and stuck her face under it, letting the lukewarm water wash the rotten milk away. When she was satisfied that the taste in her mouth was no worse than it already had been, she straightened up and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her flannel shirt. _Ugh again. Maybe I could find a clean—well, clean-er—shirt today._

 _Buzzzzzz._

 _Erik S.: Jane, I'm calling the sheriff in 60 seconds unless you respond._

All right already. So impatient. She sighed and reached for her phone, wiping off the drops of coffee on her jeans. Jane walked a couple of steps to the couch, which she had pushed close to the kitchen and bathroom. She flopped down and arranged her pillows behind her head.

 _Me: im here_

She pushed "send" and waited. Erik replied within seconds.

 _Erik S.: Can I call you?_

Jane tested that idea.

 _Me: no, but okay 2 write_

 _Erik S.: Okay. Did you get the data set I sent?_

 _Me: havent checked email in 3 days_

 _Erik S.: I sent it a week ago._

 _Me: sue me_

 _Erik S.: You're going to want to see that data._

 _Me: no im not_

 _Erik S.: I really need your help. Please?_

Jane closed her eyes and drew in a shaky breath. She waited a beat, then heaved herself off the couch. Ann Curry murmured behind her in her soothing, solemn voice. Jane shoved her phone in her back pocket and shuffled slowly away from the dim glow of the television into the darkness.

 _Ow!_ She rubbed her throbbing hip, scowled, and cursed under her breath. Why had she let Darcy rearrange the furniture? Oh, right, "so the environment wouldn't remind her of that day." Sure. Yeah, that worked. Jane took a tentative step and bumped into another obstacle. _Maybe just open one blind._

She backtracked cautiously to the kitchenette, then pulled open the blind covering the closest window. Sunlight flooded the room. Jane yelped and pulled the blind back to half-open. Better. Now there was just a vague wash of light through the room. Jane squinted and pressed her thumb and index fingers to the bridge of her nose. The dark shapes on the other side of the room seemed to move, to shimmer as her eyes reacted to being shocked.

A layer of dust blanketed her equipment. Using her shirtsleeve, Jane wiped off her laptop case. She set her phone on the table and pulled up a nearby chair. While her laptop was booting up, Jane scanned her other machines. They all sat silently, no lights blinking or indicators buzzing. They hadn't recorded any anomalies, catalogued any disturbances, analyzed any events. Not since... _ding._ That must be the email from Erik.

 _Ding ding ding ding ding dingdingdingdingdingdingding..._ Jane watched with rounded eyes as hundreds of emails filled her inbox. Most of them were requests for interviews or job offers. All related to _that_ day. Jane narrowed her eyes. No one had wanted to listen to her before. And now that she didn't want to talk...

Jane didn't bother wading through the messages. She searched for Erik's name and selected the most recent email from him, then opened the attachment. Columns of numbers popped up on her screen. They looked to be dates, times, and some sort of value. It meant nothing to her.

 _Buzzzzzz._

She glanced at her phone.

 _Erik S.: Did you see?_

Jane cursed again. Erik wouldn't let this go. She tapped the phone icon. It rang once, then she heard a rapid beeping tone. Huh.

 _Buzzzzzz._

 _Erik S.: I'll call you._

Jane frowned, but then shrugged. A few seconds later, her phone lit up and sounded its cheerful melody. "Unknown caller. Number blocked."

"Hello, Erik?"

Hissing filled the background, then a click.

"Jane! It's really you!"

"Yeah, Erik, it's, uh, good to hear your voice."

Again a moment's pause, then a click.

"Hey, that was almost believable, Jane! Thanks for the effort."

Jane rolled her eyes and stayed silent.

"So did you look at the attachment?"

"Erik, where are you? What's that weird noise in the background?"

"I'm at the Joint Dark Energy Research Facility. I'm calling you on a secure line."

"Yeah, but where _are_ you?"

Wait, hiss, click.

"I can't tell you that, Jane. I'm lucky they let me call you."

"My phone isn't secure. And how come you can text me, then?"

A longer pause than usual followed. _Sssssssss._

"Erik?"

"Um. It's okay, Jane. There's a different protocol for text messages. And SHIELD knows it can trust you."

"SHIELD? You're working for those—SHIELD? How do they know they can trust me? Wait—are they _spying_ on me?"

A spark of anger flared briefly. Then Jane realized she didn't care. It didn't matter.

"Erik? You know what? Never mind."

"Jane, please don't hang up. I told you I was asked to consult for SHIELD on a project. Remember? I didn't hide that from you."

Jane shook her head. "I don't remember that."

"Ah, well, you were...you know. So, Jane, have you looked at the attachment?"

"Yeah, but I didn't understand it. Erik, I don't—"

"This is the raw data from my project. I need your help analyzing it."

"Um, well, I'm kind of busy right now."

"That's great, Jane! What are you working on?"

Erik sounded genuinely happy for her. Jerk. She shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

"Oh, I, umm, I'm working on this thing. For Culver. For the, uh, physics department."

"That's odd. I just spoke with Dr. Fernstein on Friday and he didn't mention you."

 _Crap._

"It's hush-hush, I guess."

The silence at the other end told her Erik wasn't buying her story. _Sssssssss._

"Jane, are you taking the meds the psychiatrist prescribed? Are you sleeping?"

"Erik…"

"Look, Jane, I _need_ you to look at the data." Erik changed the subject at the tone of her voice.

Jane switched the phone to her other hand and shifted in her seat.

"I don't understand why you need me, Erik. You're working with SHIELD. They've got to have the best minds there. I mean, they have you, don't they? And if they don't have the smartest scientists, surely they have all the equipment and data they've stolen from those scientists. You don't need me."

"I do need you, Jane. You're the only person living who has seriously researched Einstein-Rosen bridges."

Jane pulled in a shuddering breath. "What does a bridge have to do with what you're working on?"

"I need to give you a bit of background. Did you ever hear stories when you were a kid about Captain America?"

"Yeah."

"He died in a plane crash a few months before the end of World War 2."

"That's sad. So what?"

"So, I've learned more about that story. Agent Coulson said I could tell you, too."

Jane's heart beat faster. _Coulson was there the day..._

"Howard Stark—you know, Stark, Tony Stark, Iron Man? His dad. After the war ended, Howard Stark tried to find the wreckage of Rogers' plane. He never found that, but he did find this weird glowing blue cube on the ocean floor..."

Erik's voice faded. _Coulson was there the day the Destroyer…Breathe, Jane, breathe. Steady._ A roar built in her ears, her vision narrowed, and her heart raced. She forced breaths in and out, making herself _feel_ the reality of her own body. _I'm here, this is real. Breathe...breathe..._ Erik faded back in, but her stomach kept thumping.

"...source of unlimited energy. Isn't that amazing, Jane? Just think of what we could do with this! But we have to figure out how to stabilize it first."

"Um...what's a source of unlimited energy?"

"The Tesseract, Jane."

"And….sorry, but what's the Tesseract?"

Jane heard Erik's sigh, even through the hissing. She swallowed the excess saliva pooling in the mouth. _Breathe._

"The Tesseract is the blue cube Howard Stark found on the ocean floor. Weren't you listening? I just told you all this."

"Sorry. I'm in no shape to work on this with you, Erik. I can't even hear Coul—that man's—name without freaking out. I can't handle anything alien right now."

"Jane, wait—"

But Jane had already pushed "end call" and thrown her phone on the table. Swiftly, she pivoted in the office chair and grabbed her waste can in time to empty the meager contents of her stomach. She stumbled across the room and yanked the blind back down. Sweet darkness swallowed the room. Jane turned off the television and collapsed on the couch. A sob rose in her throat.

oooOOOooo

When he was satisfied that the woman intended to stay sprawled on the couch, Loki dropped the invisibility spell, careful to reinforce the enchantment that blinded Heimdall. He clenched his fists and forced himself to breathe evenly, nostrils flaring. Loki crossed soundlessly to the darkest part of the circular room and sank gracefully to the floor. He drew his knees up and rested his forearms on them, rubbing his right palm with his left thumb. A scowl marred the otherwise smooth perfection of his features.

This was an unexpected development. Unwelcome. Irritating. Loki considered himself a patient man, to be sure, but he had been waiting centuries to exact his revenge on Thor. And now he had the perfect opportunity. He could _see_ the terror in the mortal's eyes, _hear_ her screams, _feel_ her flesh tear under his hands, _smell_ her sweet, sweet blood. His nails cut into his palms, his jaws clenched until he heard his teeth grind.

Loki tipped his head back against the rough wall and fisted his hands in his inky hair. _Think_ , he commanded himself. What were his priorities? He could not afford to let base passions jeopardize his shaky partnership with the Mad Titan.

Jane Foster mattered nothing to Thanos. But the Tesseract did. Thanos expected him to use the Tesseract to conquer Midgard. Loki wasn't quite so arrogant as to believe that he could simply seize an Infinity Stone and wield its power barehanded. He had located the Tesseract some time ago, had projected himself to investigate, and had encouraged Dr. Selvig to take on the project. He would let the mortals play with the Tesseract, learn from their inevitable mistakes, and benefit from their possible successes. Then he would take it for Thanos. In the meantime, he would indulge a personal fantasy by slowly and painfully killing Jane Foster.

But now. Now Selvig needed Jane in order to do something Loki needed Selvig to do. In order to do something Thanos commanded Loki to do.

Loki needed Jane. How perfectly galling.

* * *

A/N: According to the MCU timeline, Steve Rogers' body wasn't found until April of 2012, just a couple of weeks before the events of _Avengers._ So at the time of this story, he was still believed to be dead.


	5. Chapter 4

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Please note that the actual science-y part of this story is largely from my own imagination. I've done some research, but the science will be very, very fiction. I hope you can roll with it. :)

Thank you to the lovely dristi5683 for her help!

* * *

 _Day 123_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

His not-brother was an even bigger fool than he had realized. Loki stood over Jane's sleeping figure, eyes narrowed. The mortal had finally exhausted herself trying to avoid sleep. She had lain on the couch, sniffling and mewling, muttering to herself, then paced for an hour, before retiring to the threadbare sofa with a small book and her ever-present telephone. She lay on her back, legs tangled in a white sheet, book clasped to her chest, her throat exposed. Loki's fingers twitched and his eyes narrowed. _Patience._

Loki studied her, this mortal who had foiled his plans to rid himself of Thor and seal Odin's approval. In the moments when Thanos was not torturing him, Loki had fantasized about torturing _her_. He had seen only the briefest glimpse of Jane through the Destroyer's eyes, but a human who had effected a cataclysmic change in the God of Thunder must be the most remarkable, most beautiful woman in the Nine Realms.

He took in her plain, shapeless clothing, wrinkled and stained with remnants of food and drink, her greasy brown hair, the dark smudges under her eyes, and her sallow complexion. She was not only _not_ beautiful, she was repulsive. Loki bent down and sniffed delicately, then backed away. Distaste curled his lips. He had assumed that sour smell came from the overflowing waste bins, but it was emanating from her unwashed body.

Jane turned her head on the pillow. "Thor…"

Loki immediately disappeared from view, then realized she wasn't awake. Ugh. She was dreaming about the great oaf.

"No...stop...don't…"

Dreaming about telling Thor _no_? Loki smirked. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

"Help...Erik! _Eriiiiik!_ " The last word came out as a half-scream. Jane's head thrashed back and forth, and tears slid from the corners of her closed eyes.

"Darcy...no..." Jane threw her arm out, grasping at the air.

A small frown creased Loki's brow. He moved to kneel at the end of the couch and ever-so-lightly placed the fingertips of his left hand on Jane's head. Soundlessly mouthing an incantation, Loki closed his eyes and bowed his head in concentration.

Jane's dingy lab falls away. Loki stands in a small shop of some sort, worn wooden planking under his feet. Jane sprawls on her stomach across the threshold, facing hell. The world is bathed in harsh sunlight choked by black smoke. Twisted debris and bloody body parts litter the dusty road. The smell of chaos fills Loki's nostrils, and he grins. _Excellent._

" _DAAARRRCCCYYYY!"_

A beam of liquid fire immolates a dark-haired woman. Jane moans and rocks from side to side.

That fire is familiar. He narrows his eyes and searches through the smoke. A large form materializes, sparkling in the sun's rays. Loki's eyes widen. A nightmare about the Destroyer! And judging by the carnage outside, her imagination is even darker than his own. Glee bubbles up inside him, and he clamps his jaws shut before it can escape.

"Brother!"

Loki and Jane both stiffen in shock. Loki summons a dagger to his fingertips, then remembers this isn't real. Jane writhes on the dirty ground, incoherent noises issuing from her throat.

"Whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry…"

Loki grinds his teeth. _Sentiment._

 _CRACK!_ Thor's body lands heavily, blood spraying around him. From his torn lips, "Jane…"

 _Ugh. So noble._ Loki rolls his eyes and waits for the happy ending. _We all adore Thor, our hero!_

Jane whimpers. "Thor, don't leave me alone…"

Any second now, that blasted hammer will slap into Thor's meaty paw.

The Destroyer turns and faces Jane. What was this? The metal monster's faceplate whirrs and clicks out of the way. A furnace roars to life.

Jane moves, and Loki smirks. _You can't run fast enough, mortal._

Except she isn't trying to escape. She pulls herself through the door, toward the Destroyer, pleading, "Let me die."

Fire streams from the Destroyer toward Jane. Darkness suddenly falls as the dream breaks and Loki is disconnected from Jane. He blinked, disoriented. He was leaning on the arm of the couch and she was screaming, a high grating that clawed his ears. Panic grabbed his throat until he reassured himself that his cloaking spells were in place. He stood swiftly, moving away from the painful noise.

Jane wrenched herself upright. Her eyes were open, but they were glassy, distant. She kicked at her bedclothes, frantically bleating her terror. She gagged, her body heaving, but nothing came out. She scooted herself into the corner of the couch and folded herself up, rocking back and forth.

Loki stared, fascinated by this pathetic display. He had fantasized about terrorizing her until she gave up hope that Thor would save her. But her dreaming mind had already accomplished this for him. _How delicious…_

 _You will long for something as sweet as pain, Loki No-One's-Son._

The memory of that hissing voice broke into Loki's thoughts. He scowled and shoved his elegant fingers through his hair. The desire to get revenge against Thor warred with the desire to please Thanos and survive. A long moment later, Loki cursed and stalked away from Jane's makeshift bed to the darkest area of the lab.

He extended his arms at waist height, palms up, then beckoned with his fingers. Obeying their master, green tendrils of magic gathered on his palms and ran up and down his leather-clad arms. Loki shaped the magic as a potter would clay, preparing it to serve his purpose. He softly spoke instructions until the emerald ripened to gold. Satisfied that it was ready, Loki carried the ever-shifting golden orb to the couch.

Jane sat jammed into the corner of the sofa, arms wrapped defensively around her middle, knees folded to her chest. Her hair hung stringy on either side of her gaunt face. She had stopped rocking, but still stared sightlessly ahead of her. Loki raised the ball of magic above her head and ground it to dust between his large hands, allowing the spell to sift over her gently.

He stepped back to gauge the effects. Would the spell work on a human? Several minutes passed. Jane sat catatonic. Then, a long slow blink. And another. Jane sighed. She yawned and unfolded her limbs, until she was sitting on the edge of the couch. Another yawn, another blink, her eyelids too heavy to hold open. She tipped toward her pillow, blindly groping for the sheet. Another sigh, a sweet moan of relief this time, a few gentle snores, then silence. Complete silence. Loki raised his eyebrows and bent over Jane's still form. He fixed his gaze on a point under her jaw, waiting to see the quiver of her pulse. Nothing.

Loki mouthed a command, then twisted his hands and drew them to his chest as if pulling a rope. Gold sparkles rose from Jane's body and met in his hands. Loki repeated the motion, and Jane suddenly drew a deep breath. He watched her carefully until he was sure that she was only sleeping.

Humans were ridiculously delicate creatures. Now that he had determined to help her sleep, he would have to monitor her all night. Loki sighed. The sleep spell taxed his energy; he was in need of rest himself, but he would have to wait. There was a proverb here on Midgard about that, wasn't there? Something about punishing good deeds. He lowered himself to the cold floor of the kitchen, resting his back against the cabinets, trying to avoid the sharp handles. For the rest of the long night he kept vigil over Jane.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 124_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

bzzzzzzzz...bzzzzzzzz

Jane scowled and burrowed deeper into her pillow, but the noise only got louder.

BZZZZZZ...BZZZZZZZ. She groggily pushed a hand under the pillow and found her phone. Oh. It buzzed merrily at her. Darcy. She pushed the green phone icon.

"H'llo?"

"Jane! Hi! Good morning!"

Jane groaned and held the phone away from her ear.

"Hi, Darcy. What time is it?"

"It's ten o'clock, woman! Whatcha been doin'?"

Jane pulled herself up to a half-sitting position. What _had_ she been doing?

"Um, I think I was sleeping."

"You were sleeping? Oh, dang it, Jane, I'm so sorry I woke you up. I'm not used to you sleeping. Woo-hoo for sleep! Yay, Jane!"

"Yeah, um, yay me."

"So the, you know, nightmares? Are they done, then?"

Jane pushed her hair out of her face. "I don't know. I think I had one last night, but then I went back to sleep."

"Sweet! So, what? Did you find some kind of new sleeping pill? Some meditation? What?"

"Umm. I don't know."

"How do you feel right now?"

Jane took a few seconds to check. "I don't think I could run a marathon, but my mind's a bit less fuzzy. I want some coffee."

Darcy laughed. "Yeah, you do! Hey, I've gotta go to my next class. I just wanted to touch base, 'kay? I'm rootin' for you, Jane! Love you, bye!"

oooOOOooo

Jane leaned back in her office chair, pulling another long swig of strong coffee. She narrowed her eyes at the columns of numbers. Dates and times were followed by enormous numbers, ranging from near 10 billion up to the ridiculously large octodecillion. These were unmanageable numbers. What did they have to do with the Tesseract?

She swiped her phone and read Erik's last message again.

 _Erik: The whole project will fail if you don't help. I beg you to reconsider._

Jane sighed.

 _Me: Okay, I'll bite. What are these numbers?_

oooOOOooo

"How is it?"

Jane startled and glanced at the older woman sitting across from her. The woman— _Isabel, that's right, from the diner_ —pointed to the plate in front of Jane.

"Taste good to you?"

Jane nodded.

Isabel smiled her satisfaction. "Dr. Selvig said you might be hungry."

A few minutes earlier, a knock at the door had nearly triggered another panic attack. Jane had hesitantly opened the door to find an older woman, nearly hidden by the bags and boxes she carried. The woman had swept inside uninvited, plopped all her packages on the counter, flipped on the overhead light, pulled a few items from a bag, and placed a plate of lasagna on the table.

She had pointed at Jane, then at the plate. "Sit. Eat."

Jane had been too dumbfounded to do anything but comply. Now she pushed the empty plate away and blinked at Isabel.

"Erik?"

"Yeah. Dr. Selvig called and asked me to come check on you. Said to tell you it's either me or the sheriff." Isabel got up and busied herself unloading the rest of the bags. "He said you hadn't eaten in a few days. Too busy working, as usual. Dr. Selvig seemed very worried." She fixed Jane with a look. "Are you okay?"

Jane waved her off. "No, I'm fine, just, you know, busy. Fine." She flashed Isabel a smile. "Great. Yeah."

Isabel didn't return the smile. "You're a lousy liar." She scanned the dusty, cluttered room, the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, the tangled bedclothes on the couch. Then she turned to study the younger woman. Jane picked at a loose thread on her shirt.

"You go shower. I'm going to clean up." Isabel's tone brooked no argument, and Jane wordlessly obeyed.

oooOOOooo

 _Me: thanks_

The late afternoon sunlight glanced off the laptop display. Jane slowly spun the chair, examining the fruit of Isabel's labor.

Her phone rang. _Unknown Caller_. Jane drew a deep breath, then answered the call.

"Hello?" Pause, hiss, click. "Hi, Erik."

"Hello, Jane."

"Thank you. For sending Isabel."

"It's nothing. I'm glad you let her in. How are you feeling now? Better than yesterday?"

"I feel a bit more human. I showered, I had a hot meal, and Isabel cleaned the whole place. In like an hour. She's scary efficient."

Erik chuckled. "Yeah, she's something, all right."

"She told me that she used her compensation money to rebuild the diner. She said she's never been so thankful for a glitch. Erik, did you know SHIELD told everyone that…" _Deep breath, Jane._ "...the, um, attack was the result of a computer virus infecting Tony Stark's newest prototype?"

Sssssssss.

"Yes, I did know. The World Security Council doesn't think the human race is ready for proof that we're not alone in this universe."

"But we're not. Alone, I mean. How does denying it help us prepare for the next, uh, _visit_?"

"I _am_ —we _are_ —trying to prepare, Jane. We're tackling the problem from all sides. SHIELD is working on defensive shields and offensive weapons. And we hope Thor can help us with diplomacy and creating alliances—"

"We don't even know if Thor is alive. There's been zero communication since he returned to Asgard."

"I know, but don't you think no news is good news?"

"How does that make sense?"

Ssssssssss.

Erik's voice was very gentle and he spoke slowly and carefully. "I think that if Thor had been, uh, _defeated_ when he returned to Asgard, if Earth was at the mercy of Thor's crazy brother, that we would have already been attacked again."

"Then, if Thor is okay, why hasn't he come back like he promised?"

SSssssssss.

"I don't know, Jane. But listen to me: I'm working on preparing Earth in case there's a next time. And I really, really want you with me on this."

Jane massaged her temples with her free hand. "I want to help you. But I don't know how much good I'll be. Last night was the first time in ages that I've slept more than two hours. My brain is Swiss cheese."

"Just go at your own pace, okay? I'll be happy for any insight you can offer."

"Thanks."

oooOOOooo

Jane returned to her laptop. Erik had sent a lengthy email. She opened it, pleased to feel a bit eager to read what he'd written.

Hours later, Jane was worn out and irritated with herself. Erik wrote that these numbers were power readings from the Tesseract. It was a living thing, pulsing and fluctuating. But what determined when it surged and when it ebbed? To harness its energy, they had to understand it. And these power outputs were just crazy big, magnitudes larger than nuclear explosions. How was it possible to even record these readings?

Jane plugged the data onto a graph, then studied the resulting image. The peaks and valleys looked familiar, but she couldn't tease out where she had seen this pattern before. She sighed and closed her laptop. The burst of energy she'd felt this morning was gone.

oooOOOooo

Loki sat against the wall of the lab, waiting for Jane, amusing himself by retracing the secret paths through the stars by memory. How many times had Heimdall scolded him for suddenly appearing on the Bridge? When had he realized the Gatekeeper wasn't truly all-seeing? Frigga would—no, he would not open those wounds.

The mortal sat on her couch, reading a book. Loki looked her over. Thank the Norns she had bathed. Her clothing was still fit for a peasant, but at least she smelled less like a hog pen and more like...vanilla? He noted detachedly that her hair, when clean, curled at the ends.

After Jane's third round of yawning, Loki released the golden sleeping spell. Some of the sparkling fragments caught in her eyelashes. He watched her closely as her eyelids closed and her breathing evened out. The spell was weaker than the first one, but he couldn't risk losing her. He settled in for the nightwatch.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 125_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

A knock at the door made Jane jump.

"Coming! Just a sec." Jane set her coffee cup down and hurried to the door of the lab.

Isabel stood there again, bearing a steaming, fragrant burden. "Hi, Jane."

"Isabel! Please, come in." Jane closed the door behind Isabel and met her in the kitchen.

"You look—and smell—a little less like something the cat drug in today." Isabel softened her blunt comment with a warm smile. She slid a cinnamon roll across the counter to Jane. "Hungry?"

"Yes, ma'am. You are a miracle worker."

oooOOOooo

Solar flares! That had to be it! This year had been an active year for the Earth's sun. She searched the internet until she found a table of this year's solar activity. A grin spread across her face. Yes! These flares matched some of the Tesseract's power spikes. Perhaps it was responding to the energy released by the sun.

Jane frowned. Solar flares could be as powerful as one billion megatons of TNT, but some of the Tesseract readings were much higher even than that. Clearly she needed more data. She hit reply to Erik's email and simply wrote:

 _Can SHIELD get me all reports from these dates from the NEIC, NASA, and NOAA?_

There had to be an explanation for the wild variations in readings. Earthquakes, storms, atmospheric disturbances, something.

oooOOOooo

Loki stared at cheaply spackled walls. The morning sun limned the edges of cracked window shades. Down the street from the old service station, an inn had escaped total destruction, and he had found a hiding place. With worn carpeting, gaudy wallpaper, and a rust-stained sink, the room was well beneath a prince of Asgard. Compared to the black rock on which he'd just spent an eternity, it was palatial.

His hands shook and his body ached. He was utterly spent. The _negotiations_ with Thanos had left him weak. He had traveled thousands of light years under his own power and spent much of his energy on Jane, without resting. The spell cloaking him from Heimdall's view was his highest priority—he couldn't afford to lose his grip on that. He tugged off his leather overcoat and set to working the buckles of his breastplate. Several failed attempts later, Loki groaned in frustration and surrendered. A drop of his precious magic vanished his garments. He collapsed naked onto the bed.

Last night he had to constantly fight to keep Jane in a deep enough sleep to avoid a nightmare. He didn't have the energy reserves for that. As he fell asleep, a tiny smile touched his lips.

What if avoiding the nightmare wasn't the answer?

oooOOOooo

 _...Thor, your father still lives..._

 _...a deadly funnel from the cloudless sky…_

 _...charred flesh, nausea, terror…_

 _...no…help...help…_

 _...just kill me…_

The Destroyer trains its faceless gaze on her. Hellfire billows up inside the metal monster. Jane shuts her eyes, waiting for the blessed searing pain.

A calm, authoritative voice rings out through the sickening haze of fear and death. It pronounces one word. She cringes—what fresh torture was this? The Destroyer's furnace extinguishes. Jane stares, unable to believe what she was seeing. Another word, another. They are in some strange language, but the Destroyer is responding. It topples to the ground in a deafening scream of metal. Another word and the monster implodes, sucked into itself like a demonic vacuum.

"Get up, Jane."

Wait—she understands that. What is happening? Is the Destroyer really gone? The world around her begins to swirl as though it, too, is being sucked away.

"Who are you?" She squints, trying to see the origin of the voice.

"That isn't important. Get up, Jane."

Jane slowly obeys. "Did you destroy that—that thing? Is it gone?" The bodies disappear, the rubble vanishes.

Her savior shimmers into view in front of her. Dressed all in black leather, with long wavy black hair and a piercing gaze, he doesn't seem much safer than the monster.

"It's gone for now. The next time it comes back, you will destroy it, Jane Foster."

* * *

A/N: Going by the MCU timeline, Jane wouldn't have seen Loki or any photos of him yet, since _The Avengers_ hasn't taken place. So she wouldn't recognize him.

I didn't realize how much fun reviews were...thanks to those who've written reviews and sent PMs. :)


	6. Chapter 5

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Just like the science stuff, the magical stuff is all made up.

Dristi5683 is wonderful! Thank you for your help. Go read her stuff, please. :)

* * *

 _Day 126_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Rising slowly through layers of sleep, Jane brushed against a faint memory. What was that? She waited for the sensation to float closer, then reached for it. Gold...and black? But what—?

The Destroyer.

The dark stranger.

" _You will destroy it, Jane Foster."_

BZZZZZZZ

Consciousness rushed in. Jane blinked once, twice. She groped on the floor for her phone. Bleary eyed, she brought it close to her face. Message from Erik.

 _Erik: I'll ask today about getting those reports for you._

Reports. For the Tesseract project. Right.

 _Do I want to do this?_

She let the thought ring out and waited for the echo of emotion to come back to her.

Mild interest. Curiosity.

It wasn't the deep passion she had always felt for her work, but it was more emotion than she had been able to muster for months. It would do for now.

oooOOOooo

Jane towelled off and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her color was better, she knew, but her bones were too sharp under her skin. She shrugged. Who was there to see her bones, anyway? Jane wrapped herself in her green bathrobe, shuffled into her slippers, and headed to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

 _Grind the beans, measure the water, push the button._ A fresh cup in hand, Jane crossed to her work table to check email.

The most recent email was another request for an interview. She deleted it without reading. The next was from someone she didn't know, somebody at SHIELD, who had forwarded a couple of emails from NEIC and NOAA. That was fast. Wow— _really_ fast. Erik apparently had a lot of clout. Jane opened the first attachment. Columns of raw data on seismic events filled her screen. She scanned the information, toggled to the table of Tesseract activity, and jotted down a few dates. Back to the NEIC data. A small frown wrinkled her forehead.

Jane opened the second file, about solar weather. Again she flipped back and forth between tables, checking and comparing. She maneuvered the mouse in short, sharp strokes with her left hand while she made notes with her right. Her eyes flew across rows of numbers. She punctuated her work with a running commentary under her breath.

" _What? That doesn't—"_

" _Let's see what NEIC says…"_

" _Why don't you fit? That would make too much sense."_

A knock at the door jolted her from her little world. _Crap._ She was still in just her robe, now gaping open more than was polite.

"Who is it, please?" she called.

A muffled voice answered, "It's Isabel."

Jane pulled her robe closed and let Isabel in. "Hi, Isabel. Sorry—I got caught up in work and forgot to put clothes on."

Isabel shrugged. "Makes no difference to me, honey."

The older woman crossed to the kitchen while Jane grabbed her clothes from yesterday from the arm of the couch.

"Did you sleep last night?"

Jane glanced up on her way to the bathroom. "Yeah, I did. It's like the third night in a row. I hardly know what to do with myself."

Isabel smiled back and continued dishing out something that smelled delicious. "Well, you look a heap sight better than you did a few days ago, that's for sure. You've got color in your cheeks. And that robe does wonders for you. That color—what would you call it? Jade? No, emerald, I think. It brings out your eyes."

oooOOOooo

Loki stepped through space into his room at the inn. If Jane was going to waste time idly chatting and dining, he might as well continue to regenerate his energy. He growled in disgust. Humans and their nearly constant need to stuff themselves with food! It was as frustrating as trying to tear Volstagg from the banquet table to prepare for battle.

He shed his clothing without magical assistance and lay down, reflecting on the last several hours. His first foray into manipulating Jane's nightmares had gone well. As he had suspected, Jane was desperate to be rescued. Her subconscious hadn't resisted his suggestions at all.

And this morning, Jane had almost lost herself in the work, her eyes darting all over furiously gathering information, which her pen then scribbled in her notebook, biting her lip as she clicked through page after page of numbers, pushing errant locks of hair behind her ear…Perhaps she was ready to use her mind again, inferior though it may be.

oooOOOooo

The computer dinged the arrival of another email, this one forwarded from NASA. The new attachment was pages and pages long. She could compare all the data more efficiently if she printed the documents. Jane clicked several buttons and waited while the sheets of paper rolled off her printer. Coffee. She needed coffee to keep thinking straight. As she rose to go to the kitchen, one of the pages fluttered to the floor. She bent down to pick the paper up, then paused. The date stamp in the bottom corner caught her eye.

Brow furrowed, Jane sat down again and pulled up her email. She clicked on the sent mail folder, then opened the email she had sent to Erik, requesting those reports. She had sent it Wednesday, October 5, at 10:07 a.m. Her phone showed that Erik had texted her this morning, Thursday, at 8:32 a.m. Back to her inbox. The first email with the reports arrived at 4:16 p.m. yesterday.

She toggled to the report from the National Earthquake Information Center and searched the file's properties. It was created on Wednesday, October 5, 2:19 p.m. Sixteen hours before Erik replied to her email, the report had already been run. What was going on?

Part of her phone conversation with Erik came back to her.

" _SHIELD knows it can trust you."_

" _Are they spying on me?"_

Erik had never answered her question.

She hadn't had the energy to care at the time, but now Jane's heart thumped rapidly. _Breathe, Jane. In, out, two, three, four._ A sick lump of fear kept her from drawing a deep breath. Someone had read her email to Erik and had requested those reports from the government agencies even before Erik replied to her. Yes, it was to help her research. But they were _spying_ on her. Again. What else had they seen? read? heard? Her head pounded and spots danced across her vision.

 _Get a grip. Don't let them do this to you._ Her office chair spun drunkenly as Jane shoved away from the work table. She marched to the kitchenette, grabbed her mug, and poured herself coffee. _Think, Jane. Be rational. What should you do now?_

But panic spasmed in her belly—SHIELD wasn't even trying to cover their tracks! A child could have figured it out. They clearly weren't afraid of her. Her mug slipped to the concrete floor. Hot coffee and blue ceramic exploded.

 _I'm trapped._

oooOOOooo

Peach and pink smudged the sky as Loki stepped into Jane's lab. The room was dark, shades drawn again. Remains of a broken cup laid in a puddle of something brown near the work table. One eyebrow lowered as Loki slowly scanned the space for Jane. Surely she hadn't gone—or been taken—anywhere? What a bother that would be. He'd have to retrieve her, of course. Who else would solve the riddle of the Tesseract?

Oh. There she was. Huddled in the corner of that dingy couch. Not working again.

Loki forced himself to relax. He could be patient. It had only been three Midgardian days since he had arrived. Thanos wouldn't be looking for him yet.

Papers were scattered on every side of Jane and on the floor around the couch. Loki soundlessly maneuvered himself to see the papers. "Data Observed by…"; "Solar Flares measured…"; "Phenomena reported 2009-2010." Ah. Perhaps she was working after all—or rather, _had been_ working. Now that he stood over her, he could see her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and rhythmic, though it was still early evening.

On her lap a small notebook laid open. The scrawlings and diagrams snagged his attention. Evidently created hastily, the document was not easily decipherable. After studying it from different angles, Loki raised his eyebrows and smirked. So, Jane had discovered she was being monitored.

Whoever was watching her hadn't gone to great lengths to disguise it. He had sensed the foreign signal sent by a listening device the first time he entered the lab. It was so obvious that he wondered if Jane herself used it for security. For his own protection, he had caused the battery to die a premature death.

He couldn't tell from these papers what had led to the revelation. But apparently it had upset her, thus the darkened lab and the broken drinking vessel.

Jane twitched in her sleep and Loki narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing her. Had she already been asleep long enough to begin dreaming? Her face contorted and a low keening moan slipped from her lips. Loki cursed and quickly threw himself into her dream, wincing at the abrupt transition.

An empty street unrolls before him. Smoke covers the ground, curling around his feet. Where is Jane? Loki stands still, waiting. From his left, a choking cry yanks him into motion.

Jane lies crumpled, eyes closed, hands cupped over her breast. Blood soaks her t-shirt and pools in the hollow of her abdomen. She arches her back and fights to draw a breath. Loki kneels at her side.

"Jane."

Tears leak from her closed eyes, but she doesn't respond.

"Jane. Look at me."

One, twice, three times she blinks, then focuses on him.

Haltingly, she forces out words. "Y...you. Where were...you?" Blood slides from the corner of her mouth. "You said...I would de...destroy it. But...I couldn't. I can't."

Why had he left her alone? He should have been there when she fell asleep, to stop the nightmare before it got this far. He can't afford to lose any ground on the Tesseract project.

He gently pulls her hands away from her chest. A shard of metal protrudes next to her breastbone. Loki sits back on his heels. He could break the nightmare and put an end to this misery. Or he could try to help both of them.

"I can fix this, Jane." Without waiting for an answer, Loki cups his hands over the metal and recites a simple incantation. It's up to Jane now. Does she believe that he can heal her?

Jane stares at him. He holds her gaze, some idle part of his brain cataloguing that her eyes were more whiskey than chocolate.

"Okay," she whispers.

Loki glances down to check her wound, but it's already gone, all evidence erased. He raises his eyes back to Jane's and finds her still watching him, her gaze sweeping slowly across his face.

"This is—You're—I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

He simply nods.

"Is any of this real?"

He lies, of course, and shakes his head no.

Jane pushes herself up on her elbows and smiles. "In that case, if this is just a dream, I need to tell you something."

Loki freezes, uneasy.

"You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen."


	7. Chapter 6

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks for the kind reviews, people! And thanks to my beta, dristi5683. "As iron sharpens iron…"

* * *

 _Day 126...continued_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Loki's superior intellect, combined with his capacity for magic, allows him to predict a nearly infinite number of outcomes to any situation. This enables him to manipulate most people. If he says _these words_ or makes _this gesture_ , that person will do _this_. That was how he got Thor to recklessly barge into Jotunheim. Seeing multiple variations of every interaction ensures that Loki is virtually never caught off guard.

And yet.

In no permutation of his universe has Jane Foster uttered such words to him.

He has envisioned Jane screaming in terror, trying to escape him, collapsing in a breakdown, plotting his death. But never proclaiming her admiration for his beauty.

He is, quite simply, speechless.

An excruciating moment passes while he remains locked in place, unable to look away from Jane's exploring gaze. His mind screams commands: _Say something! Take control of the dream! Stop staring at her!_ , but it fails to provide him with actual words to say.

"I guess that makes sense, though." Jane goes on, unaware of his internal struggle. "I mean, if this is my dream, this all comes from me—from my subconscious, right?"

Perhaps she expects a reply, but Loki is still scrambling to find which circuits have tripped in his brain. Jane, on the other hand, seems to have recovered spectacularly from the trauma of a moment ago.

"So I must have created you the way I wanted you. And if this isn't real, then I don't have to just be plain old Jane, do I? I can be however I want, too. Hmm...what would Darcy do? I think...she would tell you..."

Jane looks at Loki through her lashes. "Tall, dark, and handsome gets me. Every. Single. Time."

 _You can use this. Run with it._ Use _this. It isn't the most degrading thing you've ever done._ Finally. He lowers his eyelids a fraction and allows a slow smile to spread. He leans toward her and notes that her eyes widen, but she doesn't pull away. Pitching his voice to a lazy growl, he brushes the shell of her ear with his lips.

"As you wish, Jane Foster."

Loki fluidly rises to his feet and offers his hand to Jane. She stares at him, her pupils slightly dilated. _Good. Keep calm, stay in control._ Jane makes a leisurely scan of his whole form before accepting the proffered hand and standing.

"What now? Why are you here?" Jane pushes her hair behind her ears and straightens her skewed t-shirt. "Other than as eye candy. 'Cause—black leather? You're pushin' all my buttons, sweetheart."

It's hard to stay on an even keel when she keeps knocking him off balance. Loki holds her gaze for a few seconds before replying. "I'm here to teach you to conquer the Destroyer."

Jane's flirtatious smile drops. She folds her arms across her chest and shifts her gaze to the ground.

Loki reaches out and gently tips her chin so she meets his eyes again. "It will return again and again unless you vanquish it."

Jane moves out of his grasp and turns her back to him. "Where is it?" Puente Antiguo has disappeared, and they now stand under a wide expanse of stars in the open desert. "Where is everything? Where are we?"

"I don't know. This is your dream, Jane Foster."

Jane turns in a circle, knitting her eyebrows as she takes in the harsh landscape. She absently pulls her hair over her shoulder, the moonlight catching the caramel highlights. Coming to a stop in front of him, her face clears and a smile touches her lips. "Oh, I know! This is where I watched the Comet McNaught. Look!" She points past him, to the sky. "There it is now!"

Her whole face lights up. Loki blinks, trying to reconcile this vivacious woman with the dull creature he had found in her lab. The eager, open expression. The full, parted lips. The sparkling, intelligent eyes...Jane suddenly turns those eyes on him, beaming. "Wasn't that amazing?"

He responds with a genuine smile, unable to help himself. "Yes, it was."

She gapes at him. "Wow, when you smile like that…" Then she shakes her head, as if clearing her thoughts, "But you weren't even looking!"

"I was looking at something amazing."

Her eyes widen. This is easier than he has anticipated.

Abruptly, she grasps the lapels of his overcoat, throws her head back, squeezes her eyes shut, and begs, "Teach me!"

Loki's inky eyebrows shoot up at her boldness.

Jane opens one eye to peer at him. "Don't worry, it's just a dream. Now teach me to stop that monster!"

Shaking his head, Loki replies, "The Destroyer must be present in order to teach you."

Jane lowers her arms and opens both eyes. "Ugh. Well, then, teach me something else. I'm a fast learner."

This situation is out of hand. He should end the dream. And yet he hears himself say, "What would you like me to teach you, Jane Foster?"

Jane takes a deliberate step closer, the toes of her scuffed brown boots now touching his sleek black ones. She tilts her head back—way back—and fixes him with those whiskey eyes. Her hair slides off her shoulder and swings freely down her back.

"Anything you want," she whispers.

That's enough. They're done here.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 127_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Wait—you said _what_ to this guy?"

Jane giggled, covering her eyes with her free hand. "I know, right? I couldn't even believe it myself. I'm never that bold. It was just a dream, so what the heck? I just asked myself, 'What would Darcy do?'"

Darcy's smile carried through the phone. "It's just so good to hear you laugh again, boss. Shoot, you can steal my identity if it makes you happy."

Jane sighed and lay back on the couch, resting one leg on the raised knee of the other. "You should have seen him, Darcy. This man was exactly my type."

"You said he had dark hair?"

"Yes. Long, silky, wavy black—raven, obsidian, ebony, charcoal...shall I go on? And he was tall. Really tall. _Deliciously_ long legs. And built, but in that lean way, you know? Mmm-mmm. And his cheekbones...and those eyes...oh, and the leather!—"

Darcy cut her off. "Chick. I get it. Dark and lean is your type. But what about Thor? Blond? Hunky hunk of manflesh? I thought _he_ was the perfect man."

Jane sat up, sobered. Light from the one blind she had opened stabbed at her face. "As you said, it was just a dream. It was really nice after all those nightmares, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I really am happy for you. So how's your awake time going?"

"Ummm…okay. I'm working on this project for Erik."

"Yeah? Cool."

"Yeah, maybe. I found out—"

"What?"

"I probably shouldn't just blab it over the phone, you know?"

"Yeah, okay, I get it. Hey, have you ever heard of lucid dreaming?"

"Lucy what?"

"No, _lucid_ dreaming. I just googled some stuff about your dream and this popped up. It's when you are dreaming, but you know that you're dreaming, so you can choose what to do and say."

"That's what happened. I totally knew that I was dreaming. At first, when it was a nightmare, I thought it was real, like always. But then, when this guy healed me, I just knew somehow that it was a dream."

"And you say he wants to teach you to stop the Destroyer?"

"That's what he said."

"Jane, I think that might be great news. Listen, according to this article, lucid dreaming is used as therapy. It's really tricky, but if a patient is aware that he is dreaming, he can try to fix what is bothering him. Maybe your genius brain has finally had enough torture and is fighting back? Trying to make you better?"

Jane transferred the phone to her other hand, biting her lip in thought. "You think?"

"Look it up for yourself. This sounds just like what you told me."

A trickle of hope made its way down her insides. Could this be true?

"Thanks, Darcy. You're the best."

"I know, sweetie! I gotta run, okay? Love you, bye-bye."

Jane disconnected the call and rested her head on the back of the couch. Was her brain ready to heal? A shaft of sunlight fell across her torso, warming her, mirroring her emotions. What time was it? She was eager to see what would happen next in her dreams. Her phone display read 10:43 a.m. A bit early to go to bed. She giggled again. Probably should try to do some work first.

Work. SHIELD. Those SOBs. Her mood dampened, she sat up, reached for her notebook and studied the diagrams she'd drawn yesterday. Jane stared across the room at her laptop. The one that SHIELD confiscated, then returned to her. The one she stupidly didn't scour for spyware before she began using it again. She had to keep using it now, or whoever was keeping tabs on her would realize something was up.

Her heart rate sped up and nausea made her swallow hard. _Breathe...breathe._ SHIELD didn't own her. Jane was willing to work with them, to take advantage of their resources and connections, but she was not going to let them take advantage of her. Not again. She would never forget the feeling of standing by impotently while they carted her life's work away. But could she outwit SHIELD?

She was sure going to try. Suddenly inspired, Jane picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts to one marked "That Guy." She was pretty sure her phone was clean. SHIELD had never touched it, and she had found no foreign components when she had taken it apart this morning. But what if there were bugs or hidden cameras somewhere around the lab? It would be better to make this call outside. Jane hesitated, her heartbeat accelerating. _Breathe, Jane._ Enough.

Her fingers trembled when she pulled the door open, but she set her jaw. She stepped outside, keeping her eyes on the ground. _This is not a dream. This is real, and you can do this._ Lifting her gaze, she held her breath as Puente Antiguo's ruined main street came into focus. A few buildings—like Isabel's diner—showed signs of reconstruction. Most were condemned, chunks of facade missing, windows blasted out, a couple completely demolished. The debris had been trucked away, but it was plain that something terrible had happened here.

Tears stung Jane's eyes, and she covered her mouth with her free hand. Here was the stark evidence that her nightmares were based in reality. Nausea swelled in her stomach and pushed at her throat. The ringing in her ears was deafening. Jane struggled to keep herself composed. She spoke aloud to herself, drawing on the fragile hope that she was ready to heal.

"Jane. Look around you. This is why you need to help Erik understand the Tesseract. This is your motivation, to try your best to keep something like this from ever happening to anyone else. Yes, SHIELD is full of liars and murderers, in the service of other liars and murderers. But the Tesseract is real, and it might be able to help us defend ourselves the next time an insane alien decides to work out his personal issues here."

Drawing three deep breaths, Jane felt her heart slow to a normal rhythm. She sent the call and waited.

A wary voice answered. "Hello? Who is this?"

"Hi. This is Jane Foster, um, the scientist?" Jane bit her lip, hoping he remembered her.

"Jane Foster? Yeah, okay. What do you want?"

His brusqueness made her smile. "I'm working on a new project and I need an...equipment upgrade. Could you come see me, give me some recommendations? I'm still in Puente Antiguo."

"Okay, I can come today. Three o'clock, okay?

"Okay," she repeated. "Should—"

But he had already hung up.

oooOOOooo

He felt a strong tug on one of his spells, like when a fish takes the bait. Loki groaned and rolled over. There it was again. He flicked his fingers and sent out a feeler. Which spell was it? The answer came to him, and he groaned again. Of course it had to be that woman. After thinking her missing yesterday, he had strung a simple spell across the doors of the lab to alert him if she left.

Loki pulled on his breeches and tunic with fingers made clumsy by sleep, then sent himself to the street. Jane was standing outside her lab. She looked distraught, then she began to talk. To whom, Loki could not tell. He drifted closer, but saw no one else. Apparently she was conversing with herself. He caught enough of her speech to get the gist. The "insane alien" line provoked a scowl, but he was nonetheless pleased that she was talking herself into more study of the Tesseract. She was stronger than he had imagined her to be.

Loki listened to both sides of the phone conversation, then watched Jane return to the confines of her lab. He wasn't sure what this assignation was, but he planned to be there.

For now, he needed to sleep. His energy reserves were still low. After he had broken the connection with Jane's dream the night before, he hadn't stayed to see how Jane would fare. He had transported directly to his dingy little refuge and had lain on the bed, willing himself to rest. Instead, he ended up pacing the worn carpet, attempting to formulate a plan. A new plan. A third plan, actually.

Jane had a maddening way of derailing his machinations. His first objective was to kill her. Then he was going to force her submission, instill awe and fear as he commanded her to stop the Destroyer. Now...now he suspected he wouldn't have to force her to submit to his wishes. He was still recovering from the dual shocks Jane had dealt him: that she had made advances toward him, and more humiliating, that he hadn't seen it coming.

But no woman—not a single one, not ever, not in any Realm—who had tasted Thor's lips had ever given Loki a second look. It was a universally accepted fact. Very few women in Asgard were willing to consider him as a lover, and each of them had been rejected first by Thor. They wanted to bed a prince, any prince, apparently, and Loki fit that bill. Barely. Of course, after the fact, they all begged to see him again, but he took great pleasure in cutting each of them off cold.

So perhaps he could forgive himself for not once considering that Jane Foster might find him attractive. And perhaps he could excuse the secret, vicious joy he felt at catching the eye of a woman who had his not-brother wrapped around her little finger. Even if she was nothing more than a Midgardian. A new idea formed. Could he bring himself to seduce her? If he could stomach the task, it might accomplish all his purposes. It would certainly make Jane more willing to please him. And it would secure at least a type of revenge on Thor. He knew that Thor and Jane had shared only a kiss. How lovely it would be to...enjoy...Jane first.

After all, Jane wasn't the ugliest woman in the Nine Realms. When she bathed and wore clean garments, she wasn't completely revolting. When she ate and slept, her skin wasn't so rough and dull. Her flannel shirts and blue jeans made her sexless and dumpy, but when she wore that dressing gown—in his color, no less—it was plain that she was, indeed, a proper woman. And when her hair waved heavily down her slender back, when she tilted her head back and bared her creamy throat, when her eyes shone with the delight of discovery, when her rosy lips fell open in wonder...

Loki stopped his pacing. Well. Perhaps seducing her wouldn't be such a chore.


	8. Chapter 7

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks to dristi5683 for being a sounding board.

* * *

 _Day 127...continued_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"This one's dead, too." The slightly-built man pointed at a tiny black box, mounted under her work table. "Looks like the battery just died. It's not hard-wired, so it's no use to those bastards now."

Jane handed the man a cup of coffee, then took a sip from her own. "So how many did you find total?"

"Three, none of them transmitting. I'm guessing someone got in here a while ago and planted these and hasn't been able to change them out."

"Well, they haven't had a chance. I haven't left in a long time."

"Yeah, okay. So you're clean in here. Your laptop has heavy-duty spyware on it. Keep using it for work, so they don't get suspicious, right? Use the new computer and those procedures I showed you for anything you don't want SHIELD to see. Your phone is good. The GPS tracker I found on the van has, you know, miscalibrated itself. It can happen from time to time, so it shouldn't raise any red flags. Just watch for anyone poking around where they don't need to be."

He chugged the hot coffee and handed her the mug with no thanks.

"I gotta go. You need something, you know how to reach me."

"Thanks. You've been a lifesaver. Hey—say hi to Skye for me, will ya?"

He merely grunted and hoisted his canvas knapsack to his back. Jane saw him out the door and lingered as he drove away, peering out at the fading light. Dusk came early this time of year. Stars were already beginning to dust across the sky. The surreal shapes of the Milky Way would be visible soon. The Draconids were at their peak this week. She loved meteor showers.

"Come on, Jane," she whispered. "You don't have to stay up all night. Dusk is the best time to see the Draconids. You could make a thermos of coffee and take a blanket up to the roof. What do you say?"

Jane felt completely stupid, talking to herself, but it had worked to motivate her earlier. This time, she just sighed. Nothing. She headed back into the darkness of her lab—she had real work to do.

oooOOOooo

Comparing seismic readings and observations of solar flares reminded her of the proverbial apples and oranges. One was earthbound, the other celestial. For every earthquake, she had to determine the precise location and time of origin, then plot it on her map and chart. And solar flares were more complicated. Calculating the time of origin involved graphs and lists and equations comparing the position of the Earth in relation to the Sun at that day of the year when the phenomenon was observed, and then factoring in the time it took the light to travel from the Sun. The numbers blurred on the page.

Jane scrubbed at her eyes and yawned. She glanced at the clock. Nine seventeen? How many all-nighters had she pulled through the years? _Yeah, but that was before insomnia and purgatory._

"Focus. Get through one more column."

Five minutes later she jerked awake, nearly falling off her office chair. Ugh. That was it. Jane pushed back from the work table and stretched.

"Ow," she said to herself, rubbing a sore spot on her chest. Frowning, she unbuttoned her shirt and peered down at herself. An angry red line marked the skin over her heart.

Jane strode to the bathroom and examined the small wound in the mirror. She sighed—she must have scratched herself while she dreamed of being stabbed. During the worst of her PTSD episodes, she had frequently clawed herself while asleep. It hadn't happened in a couple of weeks. That was progress, right?

A short while later she emerged from the bathroom freshly scrubbed and brushed, dressed in comfy flannel pjs and her green robe. Fluffing her pillows, she sunk down into her nest and reached under the couch for the e-reader she'd stuffed there.

As a child, Jane had loved fairy tales. She had always believed there was more to this world than what could be touched or seen. Once that belief had found a channel in science, she had set the stories aside, disdaining fiction for fact. During her last visit, Darcy suggested that she try reading something besides physics journals to give her mind a change of pace. Jane found she was drawn again to fairy tales, comforted this time by their naivety.

Several minutes later, the Destroyer slams into Puente Antiguo. Terror pours through well-worn channels in Jane's heart and lungs and belly. She turns to run but collides with the leather-covered chest of the dark stranger. He grasps her waist and she shakes her head in denial.

"You can stop this." Even in the midst of this chaos, his velvet voice reaches her clearly.

Jane tries to push away, but he is too strong. She shakes her head frantically. "No, no, I can't. It hurt me—I still have the mark. Let me go. I have to hide!"

Volstagg's screams echo down the canyon of the main street.

"You have to stop this. Algiz. Say it. Face the Destroyer and say Algiz."

Panic grips her throat. "Let me go!" She kicks and flails. The stranger forces her to turn around, sliding his hands to secure an iron grip on her shoulders.

He whispers, " _Algiz_."

Sobbing cries of agony reach Jane, ripping at her heart. Sif! Tears pour unchecked down her face.

"How many more will die, Jane? Say. It. Now." His grip tightens, becomes painful. Jane squirms, but he does not let her go.

She chokes out, "Al...giz."

"Now Sowilo."

The monster emerges from the smoky haze. It swings its head from side to side until it finds her.

The stranger shakes her. "Jane—Sowilo!"

Her teeth clack together and her voice catches in her throat, but she rasps, "Sowilo."

"Hagalaz, Jane."

One of its legs buckled, the Destroyer limps toward her. Erik suddenly appears and runs in its path.

Jane reaches her hand out, clawing ineffectually. "No, Erik!"

"Say Hagalaz!"

But she is transfixed by the hell unfolding around her. Erik is gutted and cast aside. The Destroyer continues its inexorable, if crippled, march. It is near enough to feel the heat. Jane can only stare, wild-eyed and mute.

The stranger shoves her behind him and calls out, "Hagalaz! Thurisaz! Uruz!"

Immediately the Destroyer collapses. Before the clanging of the crashing metal has ceased, the mysterious man rounds on her and catches her just as her knees give way. She feels his arms like steel bands supporting her, she smells his heady scent of leather and pine, she hears his restrained growl, "Get us out of here, Jane."

Jane doesn't understand. Her van is back at the lab; how can she take them anywhere? Escape does sound lovely, though, escape to somewhere away from this carnage, this hot sun.

Cool air ruffles her hair, darkness soothes her raw eyes. Jane frantically pushes on his chest until he slides her to the ground. She sees forest and a wide river sparkling under the light of millions of stars. "What—how did I get here? Where's the Destroyer? Where is Puente Antiguo?"

"Jane." The stranger steps in front of her. "Look at me."

Fresh panic sluices through her. _What is happening? Who is this?_

"Jane," he repeats, and takes firm hold of her chin.

She avoids his eyes at first. But he doesn't let her go, and eventually her eyes stray to his face to take in his towering height, the coal-black hair tumbling to his shoulders, the high, sharp cheekbones, and the green eyes, somehow brilliant emerald even in this darkness.

"Oh," Jane breathes, "it's you."

"It's me," he affirms, and caresses her jawline with his thumb before releasing her.

Her eyes stay locked on his. "So this is a dream."

"Yes."

Jane frowns and rubs her aching shoulders where his grip had been too tight. "You hurt me."

"Regrettably, yes. You wanted to run, but you needed to stay and face your fear."

"Was it all a dream? Was the De—that monster—real?"

The stranger speaks slowly. "The Destroyer is real. Your nightmares are not."

"Is Thor dead?"

For the briefest moment, Jane imagines that a terrible shadow twists his face. "He survived the Destroyer."

"But is he dead?"

A sharp scowl creases his pale brow. "What does it matter?"

Jane blinks, confused.

He closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them, his expression is blank. "I apologize. I know that you—I know you did the best you could."

He reaches one elegant hand to smooth stray strands off her forehead, then trails a finger down her cheek. "Sweet Jane, where have you brought us?"

Jane knocks his hand away and bites: "Don't patronize me. I don't know where we are, okay? And I don't care. I want to wake up. Teach me how to do that, why don't you?"

oooOOOooo

Cold sand shifted under his furious pacing. Hands clenched, brows drawn tight, Loki muttered under his breath. This woman had fawned over his oafish not-brother. Yet when _he_ treated her the way that Thor had treated women for centuries, with displays of dominance, she became angry. She wasn't as simple as she had appeared, but he had no time for complications. What did she want?

oooOOOooo

Jane sat up, her e-reader thunking to the floor. _The incantation._ This time, she had recognized the words as runes from the Old Norse language. Erik had taught them to her as a fun code language when she was a girl. She groped for the notebook which she always kept beside the couch at night. _Write the words down._ Jane summoned the memory of her nightmare, ignoring the slight acceleration of her heart.

There was _Algiz:_ protection, a shield, defense. Then _Sowilo_ : success, health, wholeness. Jane closed her eyes and willed herself to remember. _Hagalaz_ : destructive natural forces. What was next? The stranger had said the last two words so fast she hadn't caught them. Jane growled in frustration. Perhaps her own subconscious had created him, but she didn't want to be dependent on the mercurial interloper any longer than she had to.

Her phone glowed the time: 1:23 a.m. "Please let me go back to sleep," she whispered. She lay back down, her mind playing the dream over and over.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 128_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

A lump in the pit of her stomach told her this had been a wild goose chase. After spending a couple of days analyzing and comparing data from earthquakes and space events, Jane could not draw a single conclusion about their relationship to the Tesseract. Seismic events didn't appear to correlate to Tesseract activity at all. Some of the solar flares might be related, but some of them weren't. It wasn't enough to give Erik. There was something she was missing, but she didn't even know where to begin looking for it.

Her elbow bumped the plate sitting on her desk. She smiled, remembering how Isabel had had to bang on the lab door to get her attention today. Rather than being irritated, Isabel had congratulated her for regaining her motivation to work.

It was good to _feel_ something again, that was true. But Jane rather preferred to feel victorious, clever, successful. Right now, she felt frustrated and, well, not-smart. She might have gotten part of her motivation back, but she wasn't sure she had regained her skills.

She yawned. Time to call it quits for the day. _Algiz, Sowilo, Halagaz...remember, Jane._

oooOOOooo

Her voice is thin, reedy, but she gets the word out.

"Algiz."

The metal monster stops in mid-stride, its upraised foot crashing to the ground. Sif sprints past Volstagg's charred body and disappears.

"So—Sowilo."

The Destroyer rounds on her, its furnace firing up. She swallows and summons the next word.

"Hagalaz."

One arm crumples and fall off the killer robot, but still it marches toward her. What's the next word?

"Help," she whispers.

Then his voice, quiet, velvet: "Thurisaz."

"Thurisaz."

And he's behind her, the fingers of one hand lightly on her back, offering support. "Well done. Now Uruz."

The Destroyer goes down on one knee. She breathes a sigh of relief, and begins, "Ur—," when the monster's head comes up and a stream of fire blasts in her direction. She screams.

The stranger snatches her out of the path of the fire and shouts, "Uruz!" The metal giant flattens and darkness falls like a curtain.

Stars swirl and stretch as far as Jane can see in a studded sky. Crickets sing their summer lullaby. A shooting star streaks across the sky. She gasps in wonder, as she always does. When she turns to watch the path of the meteor, she catches the stranger staring at her. Ignoring him, she continues turning, looking for clues to their location. Behind him is a large khaki canvas tent set in a clearing, with tall grass outside the perimeter. Puzzle pieces fall into place.

"That's my tent. This is—" Jane remembers she is not happy with the interloper and bites off her words. She recognizes the setting now, a Dark Sky park where she had watched the Draconid shower a year ago. Another meteor flashes by, then another. If she can't bring herself to stargaze during her waking hours, she's going to enjoy the dream version. She ducks into the tent and retrieves a blanket, then drapes it on the ground.

Jane lies on the blanket, one arm under her head, then cocks her head at the stranger, still towering over her, blocking her view. He really is gorgeous, she thinks. Too bad he's a bit overbearing.

She points to the blanket. "Sit. Oh! Another one!"

He hesitates, then folds his long limbs and sits stiffly next to her. Jane pokes him sharply in the ribs with her free hand. "You can't see the meteors like that! You'll get a crick in your neck. Plus you're in my way. Lie back."

He reclines on his elbows, his elegant legs stretching far beyond the blanket's edge, his inky hair nearly touching the blanket.

"Jane?"

"Hmmm?" she absently replies.

"I owe you an apology. I was, perhaps, unnecessarily short with you last we met. I regret my behavior."

The quiet, humble tone of his voice catches her attention more than the words he says.

Jane shrugs and says, "It's only a dream, right?"

He looks down. "Of course."

"But I accept your apology. Thank you."

His eyes snap back to hers and hold for a beat before they both resume watching the sky. For several minutes, silence surrounds them, broken only by Jane's occasional murmurs of appreciation. Darkness falls fully, and with it, the shower of meteors slows and then stops.

Jane is content. She is aware that this is a dream, just a construct of her subconscious. But it's enough. For one hundred twenty-eight days she has felt vulnerable, alone. In this moment, she feels safe, though the stranger beside her has shown terrifying powers. He might be a dream creature, but he's the only one who has witnessed her nightmare and is still with her. And she doesn't even know his name.

Turning her head toward him, Jane softly asks, "Who are you?"

She isn't sure at first that he hears her question. But then he slowly looks her way. Strands of black hair wave across his forehead. His expression is odd, intensely pensive. He does not answer her.

Jane tries again. "I mean, what do I call you? 'Hey, you' seems a little impersonal for a guy who's haunting my dreams."

He blinks and a ghost of a smile plays on his mouth. "It's your dream. I suppose you should have the honor of naming me."

Jane huffs a laugh. "I don't know. I once named a cat Kitty." She closes her eyes and hums for a moment.

"How about...Morpheus? That's the god of dreams."

"No," he answers flatly, turning his face back to the sky.

"Hey!" Jane protests lightly. "You said I could choose. And you'd be a god!"

"No."

Another moment passes. "Gabriel? He's a messenger angel. You're kind of a messenger—"

"I'm no angel."

"Scrooge? He had weird dreams."

"No."

"Picky, picky."

The pair is quiet again, each lost in thought. Jane traces the stars with her eyes, remembering how she loved them.

"How about something like...Kai? No gods, no angels, just a plain old name. From a fairy tale I'm reading. But I like it. It suits you, I think."

The stranger—visitor—lays all the way back, lacing his hands together over his flat belly. He's silent for a long while, then answers, "Kai is acceptable."

Jane rolls to her side, facing him. She props herself up on her left elbow and offers him her right hand.

He—Kai—glances at her, one eyebrow raised.

"Nice to meet you, Kai," Jane says. "I'm Jane."

He envelopes her hand in his. "Nice to meet you, Jane."

Kai smiles at her then, the smile she remembers from two nights ago. The one that shows his white, even teeth; that reveals a dimple—or maybe two—; that lights up his green eyes and makes her heart go pitty-pat.

A sudden light flashes in the sky. Jane sighs. She sits up, hooks her hair behind her ears, and reaches for her notebook. Of course it's right next to her. And of course she can somehow see to write. Dreams have their benefits, after all.

Kai sits up as well. "What's this, Jane?"

She waves him off. "It's just a solar flare. I have to catalogue it so I can help Erik with the Tesseract. Though I'm not sure it's even worth it."

He leans near to see the notebook, his dark head almost even with hers, his cool breath ghosting over her bare ear and neck. Jane shivers. Kai must catch the motion, because he tilts his head to look at her. "Are you chilled? I can warm you up."

Jane hastily answers, "No, I'm fine," and keeps scribbling.

He points at a column of notations. "So these numbers." _Shiver._ "What do they signify?" _Shudder._

The blanket tugs around her hips as Kai shifts position. She forces her attention to stay on her notebook.

"Is that better?" he asks from _right_ behind her ear. Jane startles and bumps into Kai's chest.

"What are you doing?" She asks, twisting to look at him.

A boulder has conveniently appeared to serve as a backrest for Kai. He has settled himself to cradle her, his front against her back, legs outstretched on either side of her.

She hears the smile in his voice. "Why, Jane, you weren't so bashful the other night."

Her face flushes. "Yes, well, I wasn't quite myself." _Pretty sure I was Darcy._

"What a pity," he breathes, and chuckles when she twitches away further. "Sit back. I'll keep you warm." He curves a hand around her elbow and tugs her toward him.

The shivering wasn't from the night air, and Jane suspects that he knows that. She resists him, and he changes tactics.

"I truly am here to help you. Protect you. Please trust me."

The breath from his words makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up, scatters goosebumps down her bare arms. A quick impulse tells her to break the illusion. But he makes her knees weak and she hasn't been held by a man in too long and it's just a dream. Jane hesitantly relaxes into the vee of his body.

"Let me try again: those numbers, what do they signify?"

Jane can feel the rumble of his velvet voice against her back. She shakes her head, mostly to drive away the distraction of his scent and nearness. "It's really complicated, okay?"

"Humor me. Perhaps it will help you in some way."

Sighing, Jane gives in. "These numbers are readings from the Tesseract's gamma radiation fluctuations. These numbers are the perceived magnitude of the solar flare. These are the approximate universal time the flare began. And _these_ are the approximate distance from the location of the observation to the surface of the sun."

"Forgive me, but that doesn't sound terribly complicated."

Jane snorts inelegantly. "Yeah, well, rookie mistake. These are _perceived_ and _approximate_ numbers. You can't perform experiments on a freaky alien artifact with guesses and ballpark figures."

"I see. So your true task is to turn these mere observations into reliable data which you can use to better understand this Tesseract. It's difficult, though, because you are dealing with cosmic, not earthly, activity."

"Yeah, that's correct. And I don't even know if this is going to help Erik. The Tesseract behaves. It seems to be responding to _something_ , or perhaps causing it. Some of these records of solar activity so far are the closest to the observation of gamma radiation from the Tesseract. But even if I'm right that they are linked, how does that help us stabilize and utilize the Tesseract's energy? We hardly know anything about it."

Kai's voice vibrates along her spine again. "What _do_ you know about it?"

"Um, this guy Johann Schmidt found it in a Norwegian village and used it to create weapons during World War Two."

"What else?" he prompts.

"We know from Peggy Carter's reports that just before his plane crashed, Captain America told her Schmidt touched it with his bare hands and was, like, vaporized or something."

"Vaporized? What did it look like when Schmidt was vaporized?"

"Captain America didn't say, or at least Carter didn't report what he said. He was aiming to crash his plane. I don't think he had time for leisurely chats."

Kai is silent for a long while. Jane returns her attention to her notebook, trying to ignore him—the press of his body against her back, the length of the legs bracketing her.

"Jane?"

"Hmmm?"

"How far back have records been kept of these solar flares?"

"Basic records have been kept for centuries, more detailed ones in the last several decades."

"And how long has SHIELD monitored the Tesseract?"

"I'm not sure. Probably since Howard Stark recovered it after the war, in the mid '40s. Why?"

"Search for—um, apologies. _Please consider_ searching for solar activity data the day Schmidt vaporized and compare it to solar activity catalogued on the days of Thor's arrival and departure. Then compare those readings against the Tesseract's activity."

Jane's pen stills. Kai slides an arm over her shoulder, across her collarbone, and gently pulls her back against him. She thinks maybe she feels his lips brush her neck, just once, light as a feather, before he whispers, "Trust me, Jane."

* * *

A/N: Dark Sky parks are a real thing, with no light pollution so you can see the skies as our ancestors were able to. Check out the International Dark-Sky Association's website darksky dot com.


	9. Chapter 8

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

A/N: We'll spend nearly this whole long chapter in Jane's dreams. Hope you enjoy! Thanks to dristi5683 for her help.

* * *

 _Day 129_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

The whirlwind whips Jane's hair into her face. Never taking her eyes off the funnel cloud, she yanks her hair into a tangled ponytail.

"I'm going to stop it before anyone gets killed," she says.

"It's just a dream," Loki reminds her.

"I don't care," she says.

Jane slowly heads in the direction of the Destroyer, calling out the words of the incantation. Part of him focuses on the unfolding drama, and part detachedly catalogues details around him. As usual. So while he sees the 7-Eleven explode and watches Volstagg and Sif barrel toward Jane, he contemplates how small Jane really is. While he notes that Jane's dream world is out-of-focus, less well-constructed than it has been, he concludes that one might mistake her for a child. Volstagg prepares to launch himself; Jane grabs his arm. She continues to chant the runes. Mistake her for a child—that is, unless one has seen her in an emerald silk dressing gown. Volstagg heads for the Destroyer again, but this time Sif stops him. A stream of fire gushes toward them; Volstagg and Sif roll out of harm's way, disappearing into the haze around the edges of the dream.

Jane doesn't wait to see the aftermath, but turns to Loki, her warm brown hair an unruly halo around her head, her eyes alight. She grasps the edges of his overcoat.

"Let's go," she tells him. He thinks she's so much stronger than she appears.

The nightmare fades to a small campfire and two worn chaise longue lawn chairs on a concrete platform of sorts. Loki recognizes the roof of Jane's lab. Stars span the sky overhead, as always. Here everything is crisp and clear. Jane plops onto one of the chairs, grabs her ever-present notebook, and blurts, "We've got a lot to talk about before I wake up."

"As you wish," he tells her, and lowers himself sideways onto the other shabby chair.

Jane dives in. "I called Erik and he got me access to this huge database of records of space stuff. There was a solar flare on the day Schmidt died, March 4, 1945, one on the day Thor arrived, May 31 of this year, and three on the day he left, June 2. Each had a bizarre radiation signature: the level of gamma rays was disproportionately high compared to the other forms of radiation."

She shoves a hand through her hair, which is uncombed and restrained only by a tie at the nape of her neck. Absently, she tugs strands of hair out of the slovenly ponytail, twirling them around her fingers.

"We don't have records of the Tesseract from 1945, of course, because it was at the bottom of the ocean. But on the days Thor came and left, the Tesseract emitted several strong gamma ray signals. These signals aren't as rare as the weird solar flares, but they're still noteworthy. Are you tracking with me?" _Tug, tug, twirl._

Loki isn't sure what that means, but he risks a, "Yes." Then, "Are you suggesting that the Tesseract and the Earth's sun are related to Thor's travels?"

Such leaps of faith from a mortal.

Jane makes a face. _Tug, tug, twirl._ "It can't be a coincidence. A solar flare with a very, very rare gamma radiation signature happens at the same time as a gamma-ray burst from the Tesseract, at the exact time aliens are transported between Earth and Asgard? Four times?"

He nods. "It isn't likely to be happenstance."

"The thing is, I don't know yet _how_ these events are related." _Tug, tug, twirl. Tug, tug, twirl._

Loki grasps Jane's arms. "Stop."

She pulls away and scowls. "What? I have to think this through."

"No, I mean your hair. Leave it be. Come here." He shifts to sit against the backrest and pats the space in front of him.

"Why? What are you doing?"

"Do it. You keep working through that problem and I will solve this one."

Jane whispers her annoyance, " _So bossy,_ " but she complies.

Slipping the elastic band off her frazzled mane, he shakes his head at the state of Jane's hair. He summons an ebony comb from his pocket dimension. Picking up a lock of her hair, Loki examines it, trying to determine the color. _Brown_ seems a mundane word for the deep patina which shifts and sparkles in the light. He draws the comb gently through the section, and feels Jane's muscles loosen up. Methodically, he proceeds, dragging his nails lightly across her warm scalp, untangling the knots.

He has not done this for another in centuries, not since he, Thor, and the other warrior apprentices practiced dressing their hair for battle. In fact, save for Frigga, he cannot recall the last time he touched another person without the knife-edge of violence or base lust.

When her hair finally lies silken down her back, Jane says, "Thank you."

"Wait." With the comb, he divides small sections of hair at her temple and begins to plait, gathering more hair as he works back.

"Finished," he pronounces in a hoarse whisper. He releases the last plait and slides his hand down her back, reluctant to break the contact.

Jane brings her hand up and explores his work. "Wow. These braids feel complicated, like weaving. How do you know how to do that?"

 _Ah, careful here, Loki._ "You tell me. I'm a figment of your imagination, am I not?"

She chuckles. "Right. I must have watched a video on YouTube or something." Jane pivots her legs to rest on the concrete rooftop. "Want to hear what I think I figured out?"

He doesn't answer. Jane raises her head in question. Her eyes meet his and go wide.

A long moment later, she blinks and stammers, "Um, yeah, so, lo—logically, the activation of the, um, Bifrost must be the—the precipitating event."

"How so?" Loki challenged, still holding her gaze.

"Well, um, so, only the Bifrost is known to be controlled by sentient beings, right?" Jane finally pulls her eyes from his and fusses with the hem of her flannel shirt. She pauses, then continues more confidently.

"It doesn't make any sense that the Bifrost works only in response to the Tesseract or the Sun. That would be highly impractical. So the Bifrost does its thing, which causes the Sun and the Tesseract to do their things."

He needs to keep her on course. "That appears to be sound logic for the four incidents in which we know the Bifrost was involved. But what about 1945? You need to understand the _Tesseract_. Do you have any theories as to the role played by the Tesseract during these events?"

Jane sighs. "No. And until I do, none of this information is valuable to Erik."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 130_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Volstagg stands beside her.

She turns to him. "I can do this."

He nods. "I know. Thank you, Lady Jane." He bows low and then turns away.

The skies begin to swirl. Jane pulls her wool coat around her. It had been cold today when she decided to surprise Isabel at the diner.

The automaton thuds to Earth. She steals a glance behind her. Kai stands guard, a towering angel of vengeance, all dark, sharp edges. His expression is severe, his stance threatening. He is motionless, save for his left thumb rubbing his right palm.

 _Focus, Jane!_ The monster has drawn close. Enunciating carefully and projecting her voice, she recites without pausing: "Algiz, Sowilo, Hagalaz, Thurisaz, Uruz."

The steel Goliath crumples like a tin can, scattering debris. Buildings and streets begin to disintegrate into the black void. She doesn't want to wake up yet.

"Kai!"

Immediately: "What do you need?"

She takes his arm. "This," as they step onto lush grass. A cement dome rises high into the night above them, gleaming white in the starlight.

Kai studies the building. "A temple?"

"Close. It's the Palomar Observatory. I got to use the telescope once when I had a summer course at Caltech. I love the Art Deco architecture."

A stately staircase leads to the white dome. Jane climbs it, enjoying the warm evening air, shedding her coat halfway. Arms akimbo, she stands at the top and watches Kai slowly ascending.

"Slowpoke," she teases.

He stops three stairs from the top, touches his chest, then points to her. "Why do you have need of a bandage?"

Jane shrugs. "I have a cut."

"On your bosom?"

"Bosom? Who says _bosom_ besides my grandma?"

"Purple is a flattering color on you. Although any color can be attractive if you wear the garment that way."

Confused by the abrupt change of subject, Jane looks down. Two extra buttons on the silk blouse have slipped open. She immediately moves to fasten them, but Kai stills her hand.

"Let me heal it for you."

She leans away. "Don't worry about it."

Before she realizes his intention, Kai wraps his hands around her waist and lifts her onto the stone wall edging the staircase. He touches the edge of the bandage. Jane's protest dies in her throat when she registers his expression as concerned, not lecherous.

"Who did this to you?" His long, long finger slides down the dressing.

She gently grasps his hand and moves it away. Otherwise, she'd have no breath with which to answer him. "I must have scratched myself a few nights ago in my sleep, probably when I dreamed I was stabbed. It's not a huge deal. I used to claw myself all the time during the nightmare."

Kai reaches for her again, but then corrects himself. _Good._ Instead, he anchors both hands on the stone wall and leans close, eyes fixed on the bandage. A lock of black hair brushes her exposed collarbone. The scent of pine and something else she can't name, something delicious, rises from his skin. _Uh-oh._

On the one hand, these are dreams. He's not real. What does it matter what she does in her dreams? Why shouldn't she give in to her attraction to him? On the other hand, she _knows_ these are dreams. He's not real. How pathetic to give in to her attraction to him. She might as well buy a blow-up doll.

"I can heal you," he insists.

Jane shakes her head. "No, it's a real cut. It's not just a dream injury."

Kai raises his head, pinning her in place with his heavy-lidded gaze. Jane is transfixed. Just like last night, his eyes have...changed. No longer clear green, they are marbled, like nebulae. Would he…?

"Of course, Jane," he acquiesces, and straightens.

Half relieved, Jane quickly fastens the stupid buttons. She looks up to catch the tail end of a smirk.

Jane stands and clears her throat. "So, the Tesseract. We've got to figure out what role the Tesseract plays in this drama so we can direct it." She hands Kai a sheaf of papers, all business now. "I pestered Erik for the copies of Agent Carter's reports of Johann Schmidt's death, plus Armin Zola's testimony regarding the Tesseract."

Standing on tiptoes, Jane points at a grouping of numbers. "I checked all the sources I could get access to. That weird solar flare gamma-ray signature only shows up a total of five times anywhere, the ones I've already found. I was hoping to find more samples to study."

"How does that help us understand the Tesseract better?" Kai's tone is calm, collegial.

"I thought about that. Yes, we're studying the Tesseract, not solar flares. And I know we don't have readings for the day Schmidt disappeared, but I think we can extrapolate. We have five identical solar flare readings matched with four nearly-identical Tesseract readings. Can't we assume that the fifth Tesseract reading, from 1945, would correspond with the other four?"

Kai sits on the stone wall. "There's a fatal flaw in your reasoning. The four 2011 incidents _were_ virtually identical—the use of the Bifrost, the solar flare, the Tesseract. You said the Bifrost must be the precipitating event for these samples. I'm inclined to agree with you."

"But what about 1945?" Kai continues, shuffling through the pages of notes. "There is no evidence that the Bifrost was involved. The Tesseract was the agent of that incident. We can't assume the Tesseract behaved in 1945 the same way it responded in 2011."

Jane paces the length of the landing, then stops in front of Kai.

"You're right. Let's look at the Tesseract. We know that Schmidt found it in a Norwegian village. Legend has it that Odin placed it there for safekeeping. After meeting Odin's son, I'm inclined to believe the legend is true. Why did he hide the Tesseract here?"

Kai sighs and folds his arms. "Why does one hide anything? Let's focus on what we know, not what we don't know."

"My profession doesn't work that way, Kai. We zoom in on what we don't know and then go after it." Jane resumes pacing. "Odin has a vault. He could just put the Tesseract in there. Why did Odin hide it on a defenseless planet?"

Kai scoffs. "Maybe he didn't care if Mi—ah, Earth burned."

Shaking her head, puzzled by his sudden irritability, Jane continues. "That doesn't make sense. Evidence suggests that the Tesseract is mind-bogglingly powerful. And thus dangerous. Earth wouldn't be the only Realm to burn if it fell into the wrong hands. Asgard—all the Realms—would be in jeopardy too.

"I think Odin chose Earth _because_ it was so vulnerable. It's brilliant, really. Think about it—Earth was the worst hiding place, and thus the last place anyone would think to search. That must be why Asgardians abandoned Earth centuries ago. Odin wanted the memories to decay into mythology, to keep humans from believing the stories and hunting down the Tesseract. I think Odin wanted to keep the Tesseract very, very safe. But why, then, didn't he put it in his own vault? Why did he hide it so far away from Asgard?"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 131_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Kai? Are you still here?" Jane's voice fades as the dream dissolves.

Loki numbly transported himself to his room at the inn. He needed to _think,_ to assimilate the progress they'd made on the Tesseract and plan his next move. But his brain was uncooperative. It wanted only to replay Jane's story again and again.

Earlier that night, he had slipped into her nightmare without incident. The twister touched down; the Destroyer stepped out of the churning cloud of dust. He was mesmerized by Jane's vision of the metal giant and vaguely registered that she was reciting the runes he taught her. In reality, no spell or incantation would have any effect. The automaton obeys only the one who wields Gungnir. Loki's mouth twisted in a painful smirk. He, who had sat on the throne of Asgard, who had commanded this weapon, was reduced to a nursemaid for a mortal woman.

"Kai?"

Jane's upturned face swam into focus. She looked worried, her brow furrowed and lips pursed. She slipped her small hand into his. "Come on, let's go talk about the Tesseract."

Leaves crunched under his boots, starlight glinted off the midnight surface of a wide river, bare trees stretched their branches to the sky. It was soothing, after the noise and flash of the Destroyer, to walk along the water and to feel the cool air on his skin, in contrast to the warm hand in his.

He was mildly surprised to realize that they were still holding hands. As a master strategist, he knew he should use this, take advantage of the situation, push his agenda. But just as when he combed her hair, he was content in this moment. It couldn't last, of course; it wasn't real, she thought he was _Kai_. For this brief interlude, however, in this dream world, he just wanted to _be_ with this woman who trusted him.

Loki glanced down and found Jane gazing at the sky. He chuckled. "You and your stars."

She shrugged lightly, smiling. "I've always loved them. One of the hardest things after—" _deep breath_ "—the Destroyer was that I couldn't bring myself to study the skies. I had seen something horrific drop from them, and I couldn't believe in them anymore."

"I'm glad you are beginning to believe again, even if just in your dreams." Loki discovered he meant the words. "Would you like to get to work?"

Jane waited a beat before replying, "Yes. But you seemed like you needed some space."

"This has been pleasant, but we have work to do."

"We?"

Loki stopped walking and turned to face Jane, still clasping her hand. "We're in this together, aren't we?"

She rewarded him with a megawatt smile. "Ahh...the research partner of my dreams. Literally. I could get used to this."

A huge tree conveniently presented itself to lean against. They sat side by side, Loki's legs stretching laughably farther than Jane's. The hypnotic murmur of the river served as background music.

Jane rested her head on the bark. "I used to come here when I was in grad school. I'd rent a cheap camping spot, and then just sit all night by the river and stare at the sky."

"It is beautiful," Loki agreed. "Did you witness the use of the Bifrost? Do you remember what it looked like?"

She took the jarring transition in stride.

"Yes. I watched Thor and the warriors leave. They looked like they were being sucked up into a giant vacuum, sort of being distended before rushing upwards."

"Do you think that might look like "being vaporized" to someone who doesn't understand what's happening?"

Jane swiveled her head to face him. "Yes. Definitely! Are you saying…?"

"What if Schmidt wasn't _killed_ by the Tesseract?"

"You think the Tesseract can create an Einstein-Rosen bridge?!" Jane scrambled to her feet. "Wait—that horrible man could still be alive?"

Loki put his hands out to ward her off. "I doubt very much that Johann Schmidt is still alive. When the Asgardians used the Bifrost, it was a controlled situation. The points of origin and destination were known. Correct?"

Jane was bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Correct."

"Based on the information we have, Schmidt impulsively grasped the Tesseract when the container holding it was damaged. There was no control, no plan. _If_ the Tesseract indeed created something like the bridge you mentioned, where was Schmidt sent? What are the chances he landed somewhere hospitable to human life?"

"Good point."

He wished now that he hadn't opened the next line of questioning.

"What do you know about Asgard? About inhabitable space other than Earth?"

"I know that they exist. My whole life, I've believed that there had to be other worlds out there. I've searched for them, I've set out to prove that travel to them is possible."

He needed to push further. "What did you learn from Thor? What did he teach you about those other worlds?"

Sinking to her knees in front of him, Jane showed him a page from her notebook. A crude sketch of Yggdrasil greeted him.

"This. This is what Thor taught me. About the World Tree and all the Realms." Her voice rose in delight.

Loki rolled his eyes in exasperation. Thor scrawls a child's drawing and the mortal is enraptured. He was glad her attention was fixed on the notebook. Schooling his features, he persisted, "That is lovely, Jane. What else did you learn from Thor?"

"Not much, really. I mean, I saw him transform into He-Man. And he took me flying to the Bifrost site. That was surreal. Then I got to watch them leave."

"Weren't you curious about other worlds? Didn't you take advantage of having the God of Thunder at your disposal?"

"Yes, of course I was curious, but when Thor first got here, we all thought he was some nutjob. And SHIELD stole my equipment. That was distracting. Then, I sort of started believing Thor's story. We sat on the roof of my lab one night and he drew me this picture. I asked him a thousand questions about Asgard and the Bifrost and travel to other Realms."

Loki tried to sound encouraging. "Wonderful. That's the sort of information we need. What did he tell you?"

Jane sat then and stared at the ground. "I asked him a thousand questions," she repeated. "And a thousand times he told me that he was a warrior, not a scholar."

 _Perfect_ , Loki scoffed to himself. That sounded just like Thor, always overestimating the value of brawn.

"He said he understood nothing about how he travelled to other Realms. I can't be too hard on him, I suppose. How many people drive a car every day but have no idea how it works?"

Jane spoke slowly, deliberately. "And then...and then Thor said that his younger brother would like me. Loki could answer all my questions and _still_ have more to teach me. After a while, he said he was selfishly glad Loki and I hadn't met, because we would probably discover we were soulmates."

She lifted her face, then, and unshed tears sparkled in her amber eyes. "So, after Loki sent the Destroyer, I didn't know whether to be offended that Thor thought I might be capable of annihilating those closest to me, or heartbroken that Thor hadn't realized that Loki _was_."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 132_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

He's not there. Kai doesn't show up in her nightmare.

She doesn't need him to rescue her from the Destroyer anymore. No one dies in her dreams anymore. No one even shows up anymore. She now sees only bits of open desert where the giant will touch down. Puente Antiguo isn't there, Volstagg isn't there, and now Kai isn't there. This is good, she tells herself. It means I'm healing.

But she can't deny the hollow ache of disappointment.

The funnel cloud nears the desert floor. Mechanically, she recites the incantation before the Destroyer touches down, then turns to walk away. Three steps later, she stops and turns back, addressing the crushed pile of alien metal.

"We're done here."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 133_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Perhaps it's time to move back to her trailer and sleep on a real bed. That cranky spring in the couch has gotten much worse. It jabs her in the back; she can't get comfortable. Ow. That's enough. Jane opens her eyes and sees the lush sparkle of the Milky Way overhead.

What?

"Good evening." The velvet growl is very close to her ear. She turns to see Kai lying next to her, his arm folded under his head. Relief and frustration pound through her veins in equal measure.

That rock formation looming above them...ah, she knows. This is the Natural Bridges Monument. Which explains the uncomfortable "bed." She shifts, trying to escape the stone poking her spine. The landscape is gorgeous, though, even at night. And the view of the sky, unparalleled.

"Are you giving me the silent treatment?"

Actually, she is. Sleep was elusive last night, and she was miserable today. She tried to talk herself out of her funk, but Isabel had noticed. Jane had been forced to make up some dumb story. The truth was humiliating. What was she supposed to say?

" _Want the good news or the bad news? The good news is, I've fallen half in love with the man of my dreams, Isabel. He's absolutely gorgeous: wavy black hair, green eyes, tall, heart-stopping smile. And he's brilliant, but he respects my intellect, too. He challenges me like no research partner ever has. Plus, he's kind of my knight in shining armor since he rescued me from my nightmares. The bad news is, I've fallen half in love with the man OF MY DREAMS. Call the men in white suits. Have them bring a straitjacket."_

It's ridiculous, and she needs to put an end to it.

"Congratulations on vanquishing the Destroyer, my dear. You were a shockingly fast study. I'm impressed."

She sighs. _Time to put your big girl pants on, Jane._ "We need to talk."

"Of course. Where did we leave off?" He hums a bit, then, "Ah, yes, we had theorized that Johann Schmidt was not killed by the Tesseract, but violently flung into outer space. Where, of course, he probably died soon after, but that is not necessarily the fault of the Tesseract itself."

Wait— _my dear_? Jane frowns and sits up. "Kai, this needs to stop."

"My apologies, love. You're right, of course. It's bad form to make light of the man's death."

 _Love_? "No, Kai, listen to me."

His face lights up and he points at the sky. "Jane! Is that a fireball?"

She can't resist, of course, and swivels her head to look. Her mistake is realized when Kai slips his hand onto her back...her very low back, and begins to press and rub the muscles.

"What are you doing?" she bites out.

"You seem tense. I thought I would loosen you up."

"Kai…" she warns. It feels heavenly, really, and she doesn't want him to stop. Living alone has her starving for contact. She misses this, misses being touched, and not just in the bedroom. Although the way his hand brushes lower...no! _See, this is your problem, Foster._ She let herself have an imaginary friend, like a three-year-old kid. But she wasn't a kid anymore, and she needed to keep a grip on reality. With gods coming and going and holes being blasted in the space-time fabric, her reality was weird enough.

Ignoring the shivers running up and down her spine, Jane firmly says, "Stop."

He obeys and sits up to face her. Or rather, to tower over her. She scoots back so she can look him in the eye without craning her neck.

"Kai, thank you for all you've done for me. I'm not sure how you came to be, but you have helped me deal with my demons and get my life back. Now it's time to say good-bye."

Kai cocks one raven eyebrow. "Why is that?"

"Well, you came to teach me to stop the Destroyer. You've done that. Your job is done."

"And was that all I was good for, darling? You seemed to appreciate my presence at other times, too."

Jane flushes, but she remains resolute. Her sanity is worth fighting for, isn't it? "Stop calling me _darling_ and _love_. Yes, I enjoyed your company, and yes, you've helped me begin to solve the puzzle of the Tesseract. But it's time for you to go."

Kai ducks his head and a lock of inky hair falls over his brow. Jane clenches her fist to keep from smoothing it back. When he lifts his eyes again, he looks...shy? "But, sweet Jane, surely you've guessed. You must have realized where my affections lie. You _are_ my love, my darling."

"Wh—what?" Jane is irritated to hear her voice tremble. She wants to be strong. But something inside of her flutters at the thought that this nearly-perfect man wants her, Plain Jane Foster. Then she remembers…

"YOU. ARE. NOT. REAL!" Jane jumps to her feet and glares down at him.

He covers his face with both hands. What's happening? To her horror, his shoulders shake and a hiccuping sound escapes. Is he—is he crying? She has not a single clue what to do in this moment. She drops back to her knees and reaches a tentative hand toward him.

"Kai, I'm—"

"Oh, the expression on your face!" Kai drops his hands and throws his head back, letting loose a rich throaty laugh.

She is dumbstruck. He's laughing? At her? Anger slices through her veins, cold, invigorating. "You _prick_! Now we're definitely through. Get out!"

"Surely you've guessed where my affections lie! Ah!" He rocks back and forth, holding his sides with glee.

That's it. Jane curls her fingers into a fist, braces herself, and throws her whole weight into a punch, focusing on strong follow-through, like a golf swing. She connects solidly with his jaw, snapping his head to the side. Unfortunately, "follow-through" while she's on her knees means that _she_ follows, too. Jane collapses onto Kai, knocking them both to the ground.

Not quite the dignified exit she had in mind, but probably par for the Calamity Jane course. She fumbles, trying to find a solid surface in order to push herself off his body...his long, lean, body. She's mortified, and he's going to be angry, and this is a disaster. Jane can't find purchase for her hands, so she waits. Surely Kai will shove her off any second now.

Instead, his hands encircle her and begin to gently stroke her back.

"What kind of trick is _this_ , huh? Let me up!" Jane tries to free herself, but he's much larger and stronger than she is.

"Shhh, Jane. Be still." Kai doesn't sound angry. And he's not laughing anymore. Instead, he's calm and in control, in contrast to her flailing.

He continues, in a gentle purr that causes her toes to curl against her will, "I'm not leaving. You still need me."

She protests, but he cradles her head into his chest, as one holds a baby. "Shhh," he repeats. "You did marvelously with your first task, the Destroyer. Well done, love."

Jane doesn't object this time. She's pressed into him, head to toes, his voice vibrating against her ear, and she's turning to mush. Where is her sanity now?

"You are still healing. I can help you. Think, Jane: in the last few minutes you've experienced more emotions than you have in the last several months. Fear is not the only thing you can feel, and you need to remember that, practice that. Remember that you are a vibrant, tenacious, brilliant woman."

"But you're not real," she whispers.

"I'm real while we are together. Can you see me...hear me...touch me? I'm as real as you need me to be. And I promise, sweet Jane, when you don't need me anymore, I'll be gone."

"Hmmmm," she replies drowsily, and the Milky Way and rock bridges slip away.

oooOOOooo

Loki watches her nestle into the comforter, lashes fringing her smooth cheek, rosy lips pouting slightly in sleep.

He hated it when Thor was right.


	10. Chapter 9

A/N: Thanks once again to my lovely beta, dristi5683. And thanks for reviewing to Wildhorses1492, Vashka, Chiafun, ISolemnlySwearToManageMischief, miss stoneheart, and Miss-Betta. It's so much fun to read your reactions.

* * *

 _Day 134_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Johann Schmidt is alive?"

"No—I don't know—I didn't say that, Erik. I said that maybe he wasn't killed by the Tesseract."

"Okay, so where is he? What did Steve Rogers see?"

"I think maybe he saw the Tesseract transporting Schmidt through a wormhole."

 _Sssssss._ Click.

The background noises of SHIELD's secure phone line usually didn't register with Jane anymore. But Erik's silence made the hisses and clicks deafening.

"Erik?"

"What's your basis for this hypothesis, Jane?"

Jane pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand. _Erik thinks I'm compromised. He doesn't trust my professional judgment. I shouldn't have run to Erik with a half-baked idea I got from a dream..._

"Jane? Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here." She sighed. "I'm basing it on those unique solar flares I told you about, plus Rogers' report on what he saw compared to what _I_ witnessed when Thor traveled by Bifrost. I _saw_ it, Erik. It could look like vaporization or whatever to someone who doesn't know what he's looking at. I'm not crazy." Jane hated that her voice rose high in defense.

"Calm down. No one said you're crazy. I'm asking you questions any scientist should ask another. Your idea sounds plausible enough to research further. It's the best hypothesis I've heard so far about the Tesseract. What do you need from me?"

Jane slid her hand to cover her eyes. Relief and embarrassment washed over her. "Sorry, Erik. I'm still...touchy. I'm going to keep researching the link between gamma radiation and wormholes in the space-time fabric. Plus, before we can do any kind of tests, we need to construct a containment unit, like the cradle Schmidt and Zola used. How much vibranium can you get your hands on?"

oooOOOooo

Jane bites the end of her pen while she stares into the curling flames of the campfire. She plays with the ends of her hair, secured in a messy bun on top of her head. Ozone layers, vibranium...where was Kai?

As if summoned, the tall man appears at her side. She glances up at him. "Hey. I, uh, didn't know if you'd come tonight or not. I've been here a while."

Kai sinks onto the second chaise longue. He rests his elbows on his knees, hands clasped. "I told you I wasn't leaving yet. You still need me."

Jane looks away then, back to the fire. "Yeah, well, I kind of spazzed out last night. I might have scared you away. And, anyway, you wouldn't be the first man in my life to make promises he didn't intend to keep."

A gentle touch on her chin brings her around to face him. "There are no men like me. Trust me, Jane."

She stares into those impossibly green eyes. Perhaps she's absorbed a touch too much radiation in her years pursuing scientific knowledge. Probably she spends too little time in the company of other people—real, human people. But her nightmares are gone and her synapses are firing like they haven't in months. Isabel doesn't watch every bite she takes anymore. She can hear the relief in Darcy's voice each time they speak. Erik trusts her professional opinion again. She doesn't know what Kai really is: a symptom of a brain tumor? consequences of accidentally sampling hallucinogenic mushrooms? But she's very nearly whole again, so she draws a deep breath and takes a leap of faith.

"I trust you, Kai."

Suddenly feeling shy, Jane picks up her notebook. She assumes her most business-like voice. "I spoke to Erik today about constructing a kind of shield or cradle for the Tesseract. We'll need it if we're to perform any field tests on it."

Kai's gaze is steady on her, with no hint of amusement.

"May I see the notebook?" Kai holds out his hand expectantly.

Jane hesitates for a second, then passes it to him. "Be careful with it."

"Of course," he answers, and gently lays the open book on his lap. He thumbs through several pages, skimming her scrawl. "Are these the energy readings you spoke of?"

"Um, hang on, let me look." He passes the notebook to her.

"Yeah, these are the readings Erik first sent me. I made notes of the strongest spikes." Jane returns the notebook to Kai.

She studies him while his attention is safely on her notes. The firelight plays over his face, starkly highlighting his high cheekbones and sharp jawline. Ink-black hair sweeps off his high forehead down to his shoulders. As always, he is clad in a long black leather overcoat and slim breeches, with tall boots. She thinks he wears a type of leather armor under his coat. He is dressed to intimidate, perhaps for battle. And yet the way he moves his lips as he reads is charming.

His gaze swiftly lifts to hers, catching her staring at him. Jane waits for his customary smirk, but he simply asks, "Do you have a sketch of your proposed containment vessel?"

"Ah, yes, um, that's on this page…" Jane reaches over and turns pages, trying to read her messy handwriting upside down. Unsuccessful, she cranes her neck to decipher the notes.

"Here," Kai says, and returns her the notebook.

"Thanks," she answers, then yelps when he unceremoniously lifts her around the waist and sets her down in front of himself.

"What…?" Jane manages to ask.

"An efficient solution to the problem of sharing the notebook. You're small enough that I can read over your shoulder."

The old lawn chair creaks ominously under their combined weight.

"That can't be comfortable for you," protests Jane. "You're squashed into the metal frame."

Kai shrugs. "It's your dream."

The rooftop scene fades and they are surrounded by rocky, rolling terrain and the constant murmur of the ocean. The lawn chair is gone; instead they recline on an oversized emerald velvet chaise longue. Stars sparkle overhead in rich profusion, giving enough collective light to read by.

"Well done, Jane." He stretches one leg along the chaise longue, leaving the other on the ground, then reaches around and plucks the notebook out of her hands.

Jane is cradled against his chest. His arms gently bracket her sides and his breath teases the tiny hairs at the nape of her neck. She closes her eyes, absorbing the sensation, then sighs. She can't give in so easily.

"I'm not sure how professional this is. I have work to do."

Kai shifts the notebook to hold it in one hand, and lifts the other to his lips. "Shhhh. We _are_ working, love. Let me read these notes."

The absurdity of the situation strikes Jane funny. She giggles, and Kai again shushes her. That sparks a new wave of hilarity, and she turns to stifle the sound against his chest.

Kai's hand rests heavily on her back. "Be still, Jane."

After the giggling fit passes, Jane's attention is snared by his breastplate. She's been close to him before, but has never had a chance to examine the intricate design of his armor.

At this proximity, she discovers that the piece isn't solid, but made of thin straps of leather, woven in an unfamiliar manner. Jane pushes on the breastplate. It's resilient, not hard like metal armor would be. The individual straps feel like fine deerskin. Using both hands, she tries to pull the weave apart. It shifts, the straps sliding over each other to accommodate the tension, but no gaps appear. _How?_ her mind demands. She slips a couple of fingers under the breastplate, investigating the reverse of the weave. An ultra-soft undergarment brushes the back of her fingers. Was that silk?

Does the breastplate give enough to be able to be pulled off over the head, or are there buckles somewhere? Hmmm. Perhaps in the back. Jane slides one hand under the heavy overcoat and follows the armor around the curve of the ribs to the back. There. Buckles. Too bad she can't see those. She contents herself with investigating the undershirt. Again she delves under the bottom edge of the armor and grasps the undershirt. She tugs the garment free from the breeches and rubs it between her fingers. It felt like silk, but it had stretch and give to it that silk didn't naturally have. How far did—

"Jane," Kai croaks.

She startles, becoming aware of her surroundings again. His head rests on the back of the longue, eyes closed. The notebook lies forgotten.

Jane sits up, alarmed. "Kai? Are you all right?"

He slowly opens his eyes and she inhales sharply. It's happening again. His eyes have _changed_. It was subtle; she wouldn't be able to see it if she weren't so close to him.

Fascinated, already forgetting her concern, Jane leans closer. "I see the stars in your eyes. A nebula, actually."

Kai blinks. "What?"

"Your eyes. Sometimes they get all marbled and swirly. There's lighter and darker green in them."

"You can see that?" He's surprised. And, based on the way he looks away, he's a bit embarrassed, too.

Jane smiles, pleased to have knocked him off balance. "Yes, I can. And it's gorgeous."

Kai's gaze snaps to her, and she actually witnesses the green agitating in his irises. His arm snakes around her waist and holds her in place facing him. "I think _you're_ gorgeous."

Her brain feels swirly, like his eyes, then the thought _ozone layer_ drifts through her mind. They have work to do.

"We need to talk about the Tesseract," Jane reminds him. And herself.

"Talk," he breathes, and nuzzles into the hollow behind her ear. "I'm listening."

"Okay, um, so Erik is willing to explore the...uh, idea that the Tesseract can transport people through space. I asked him…" Her voice trails off into a sigh as Kai nudges her head to the side so he can brush his lips along her jawline.

"You asked him…" Kai prompts, and lightly presses a kiss beside her mouth.

"I, uh, I asked Erik if he could...get…"

Now a kiss on the other side of her mouth. Her eyes flutter shut. He returns his attention to the sensitive underside of her jaw, suckling and nipping gently.

"If he could get…?"

"What?" Jane murmurs.

"How important is this Tesseract?" Kai whispers against her arched neck.

"Hmmm?" Why was he still talking?

"The Tesseract. Must we really concern ourselves with it?" Teeth, tongue, heat at the junction of her neck and shoulder.

"...yes…"

"Well, then…" Kai straightens and continues in a normal voice, "Tell me what you learned today, woman."

Jane blinks slowly, then scowls at him. He winks at her. She settles back into the vee of his body and picks up the notebook. It takes a moment for her mind to reassemble itself.

"Um...so, gamma radiation destroys ozone. And we know that the Tesseract occasionally emits gamma rays. Today I gathered all the data I could find about the status of the ozone layer over areas where the Tesseract has been."

Jane flips to the back of the notebook and points to a rough sketch of the world. "Norway, two places in the Alps, and the North Atlantic Sea. The locations of the Tesseract since World War Two have been top-secret, so I can't use that information."

Kai covers Jane's hands with his own and brings the notebook up to see it better.

Jane continues, "So look—there is some thinning of the ozone layer over Tønsberg, Norway. That's where Schmidt found the Tesseract in 1942. We don't know for sure how long it had been there. Then here and here"—she slips her right hand out and indicates two asterisks in the area of Germany and Switzerland—"the ozone layer is just fine. But there's a spot in the North Atlantic that is dangerously thin. Evidence points to this being where Schmidt disappeared."

Kai hums. "Is this where the Tesseract was recovered?"

"No," Jane replies, "but Schmidt and the Tesseract were on a jet plane at the time. That accounts for the disparity in locations. Here's the problem I'm working through right now: If I'm correct about the ozone layer being affected by the Tesseract, why are the readings so different?"

"Perhaps this layer of ozone was already thin in Norway?" He idly strokes her left hand with his thumb.

"I've already taken into account the average ozone reading in these areas. Over Tønsberg it's ten percent lower than in the surrounding area. Over the ocean we're talking a whopping sixty percent difference. And that's sixty-five years after Schmidt vanished. Why were the locations in the Alps not affected?"

"Are you sure that the ozone was affected by the Tesseract and not something else?"

Jane sighs. "No, I'm not sure. It's just a hypothesis. Maybe it doesn't mean anything."

Kai lowers the notebook, his hand still covering hers. They both fall silent. Jane rests her head on his chest and drinks in the stars.

A long moment later, Kai clears his throat. "Can you determine _when_ the ozone layer was compromised in these locations?"

Jane shakes her head.

He hums again. "What if the action of the Tesseract does erode ozone, but only when it opens a wormhole?"

She stills and considers his words. "That might work." That was it. That was the puzzle piece she needed. Jane swiftly turns and kisses Kai on the mouth. "Thank you!"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 135_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Early morning sunlight stretched its pale fingers across the concrete floor of the converted service station. The hisses and gurgles of the coffeemaker—the third pot in a row—offered a syncopated counterpoint to the steady rush of the shower.

The couch on which Jane usually slept sat in front of her work table. Books and papers, pens and markers lay scattered over the cushions. Empty mugs littered the floor around the couch. Small squares of yellow paper dotted most available surfaces: the computers, Jane's notebook, even the floor. A very large writing tablet on wheels stood next to the work station. In the middle of this white-colored board were circled the terms "Gamma Radiation," "Wormhole," and "Ozone." Scribbled notes, diagrams, and symbols branched off these central words and covered a good portion of the board.

As if on cue, the shower spray stopped at the precise moment the coffeemaker gave its last burst of steam. The shower door squeaked. A moment later, the scent of warm vanilla and the sound of tuneless humming filtered under the door of the bathing room.

Loki sat against the wall of the lab, cloaked as always and safely out of Jane's way. Sleep would be prudent; entering Jane's dreams took a considerable amount of energy. His body begged for rest. But he didn't want to miss a moment of this.

After Jane had kissed him (he was still trying to wrap his mind around that), she had enthusiastically announced that she was going to wake up and get right to work. And work she had. Jane's first order of business had been to start the coffeemaker. She'd pulled a shapeless gray garment—"Culver U"—over her camisole, then wheeled the writing board to her work station. Next, she had apparently transcribed the entire contents of her mind onto the white surface. He was impressed that she could read the furiously scribbled notes.

After pouring herself a cup of coffee, Jane had stood in front of the board, still except for her eyes flicking rapidly. Without warning, she'd launched into action, dragging the couch to face the board. She'd opened drawers, rummaged through bookshelves, and dumped books and charts and files on the couch.

The rest of the night was a blur of Jane talking to herself, writing, erasing, rewriting, consulting references, scowling, searching on her computer, coffee and mugs (and more coffee and more mugs; Jane always absent-mindedly filled a clean mug each time), and pacing. Loki had stayed, intrigued and—at first—a bit amused by her transformation into a dynamo.

At the beginning of the night, Loki had smiled indulgently at the first iteration of Jane's working hypothesis. She had a theoretical grasp of trans-space travel and had watched the Bifrost operate one time, but that was no match for Loki's centuries of experience in starwalking.

Partway through the second pot of coffee, Jane had halted her pacing and growled in frustration. "Kai! Why aren't you _real_ , you big jerk?" she had asked the empty room. "I need your help. What am I missing here?"

Loki had studied the writing board, looking for a dropped connection or a mistaken calculation. He had comprehended nearly nothing of what was written. His pride insisted that he likely already practiced whatever it was she was investigating. Jane was simply using unfamiliar Midgardian terms to describe her ideas. In truth, Loki knew he couldn't help Jane, not without her first helping him understand the terms and notations scrawled every which way. For now, he could only watch and try to learn from her intellectual leaps and deductions.

Something had changed in Jane—something had shaken loose, or, more probably, had been fixed.

The humming ceased abruptly and the door to the bathing room flew open. Jane stood at the threshold, clad in that dressing gown, towelling her hair. Her eyes fixed with laser focus on the white tablet, she strode across the room, dropped her towel on the floor, and picked up a writing instrument. Without hesitation, she wrote "BLACK HOLES!" across the entire board.

Jane stepped back and looked at her work intently. Her damp hair trailed halfway down her back, leaving darker green streaks on the gown. Finally she nodded. A wide smile blossomed. She grabbed her phone off the work table and sent a message.

That done, her shoulders drooped and she yawned. Jane headed to the kitchen and selected a clean mug, but then paused. She switched the machine off. Crossing to the couch, Jane pushed the debris of her night's work to one end and tugged her blanket free.

"I've got so much to tell you, Kai."

oooOOOooo

Jane had hit a mental traffic jam around 5 a.m. Nothing was connecting, nothing made sense. So she had hit the shower, where she had often done some of her best thinking. The mild sensory deprivation and water massage seemed to stimulate genius. As she was towelling off, the loose threads tied themselves together in a beautiful bow.

Black holes.

It fit. She had texted Erik immediately. And she couldn't wait to tell Kai.

Jane waits in her lab. There's no need to escape to some exotic location; everything is right here.

"Black holes?" The couch dips slightly as he sits beside her. "You seem pleased."

She shrugs. "Eh. No big deal. I've figured out how the Tesseract can make people travel through space-time."

Silence. Then Jane jumps to her feet. "It's a huge deal!"

Kai chuckles and inclines his head. "Do tell, Dr. Foster."

She flips her writing tablet over to reveal a blank surface. "Okay, so when a rapidly-rotating, high-mass star collapses, a giant electromagnetic explosion follows, with gamma radiation leading the way. A neutron star or even a black hole can be created from the matter of the collapsed star. These have unimaginably strong gravitational fields." Jane swiftly sketches as she talks.

"So what, right? Well, I don't know where the Tesseract gets its power, but it mimics the collapse of a star. On a much smaller scale. I mean, it's still big, but not like a whole star dying. Anyway. We've got the burst of gamma rays—the depletion of the ozone is added proof of that—and we've got a gravitational field capable of ripping a hole in the space-time fabric and pulling someone to a new location." Jane jabs the board with her marker for emphasis.

Kai considers her explanation, then asks, "Where do the solar flares fit?"

"Easy. The release of gamma rays stimulates the flares, like overcharging the atmosphere will cause lightning strikes."

Her enthusiasm is infectious and Kai smiles. "Congratulations, Jane. Where do you envision taking this next?"

Jane sits next to him again. "From Erik's point of view, catapulting people into outer space all willy-nilly isn't super-practical. We really need to be able to capture and use the energy produced by the Tesseract. And all I've figured out is what's happening. I don't know yet how to make the Tesseract activate when we want it to. We need to run tests for that."

"And from Jane's point of view?" asks Kai.

She grins. "I'm one step closer to visiting the stars and seeing Thor again. If he doesn't come back to me, I'll just go to him."

oooOOOooo

Ice cliffs gouged the valley below. Frozen spires clawed at the dead black sky above. A merciless wind ripped across the barren rock face. It was ugly and cruel and matched his mood.

He should have killed Jane when he first arrived.

He should have taken her life when she was but a means to exact revenge on Thor. He surely could have found another way to understand the Tesseract.

But he had let her live, and had discovered her whiskey eyes and satin skin, her endless curiosity and her stunning intellect. He had found that she fit perfectly tucked against his heart, that she humbly asked to learn but then taught so much.

He had let Jane live, but she didn't even know he existed. Or rather, she didn't know that Kai existed—her view of _Loki_ was a topic best left unexplored. She had pledged to trust him, but she longed for Thor.

He was an even bigger fool than his not-brother.

He had let her live. Now he didn't want to live without her.

But she was killing him.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to Wikipedia for information on gamma-ray bursts and black holes.


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks to all who've reviewed! And as always, thanks to dristi5683 for catching my mistakes. The next chapter is in progress, but since this is holiday time, I expect it will take longer than usual to update. So, thanks for your patience.

May you enjoy the company of family and friends and may you find real peace in this season.

* * *

 _Day 136_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

The trick was to transport someone without tearing them in half. Jane typed new numbers into the simulation program and hit "run" again. The reading came up at 50 times the force of gravity. No good. A human couldn't sustain that even for a few seconds. She swiveled her chair away from the work table.

"Guess it's back to the drawing board—literally," she said, "What do you—"

But she was talking to an empty room. Jane frowned and shook her head. She had been a loner her entire life, preferring her own company, both socially and professionally, to that of others. It took too much energy to constantly defend her nontraditional ideas. But now her constant impulse was to catch Kai's reaction, to share an observation with him, to ask him a question.

Two hours later, the sun was low in the sky and Jane's stomach growled. In her workaholic daze, she'd forgotten to eat lunch. Five cups of black coffee didn't provide enough calories to keep her belly satisfied, but she considered it progress that she even noticed. Gathering the abandoned mugs, Jane glanced at her telephone. Two missed calls from Erik and Isabel, and seven unread messages, one from Erik and six from Darcy.

Isabel was probably checking up on her. Jane would walk over and see her for dinner. Darcy was just being Darcy with the excessive texting, which was perfectly fine. She knew what Erik wanted too. He was frustrated that she was "wasting time" investigating the possibility of space travel. The text from him confirmed her suspicion.

 _Erik S.: Fury wants to see your proposal for the design of the cradle by next week. How's that coming?_

She sighed. Erik wouldn't like her answer. Of course it was a noble goal to harness the incredible power of the Tesseract to provide sustainable energy for humankind. But the promise of walking the stars enthralled her in a way that Erik could not understand.

Jane opened the message string from Darcy.

 _Darcy (10:14 a.m.): hey chica whassup havent talked 2u 4ever call me k_

 _Darcy (12:37 p.m.): call me_

Three more texts repeated the same demand, then:

 _Darcy (5:09 p.m.): call me or ill sic isabel on u_

Jane swiped Darcy's avatar and waited. Darcy answered on the first ring.

"Jane! You're alive!"

Grinning, Jane answered, "I'm alive."

"Yay! So did you fall off the Earth for a while or what?"

"Yeah, well, Erik's keeping me busy with this thing we're doing. You know how it is…and why do you keep texting me? Don't you have classes?"

"Um. It's Sunday. Earth to Jane! But I guess that answers my next question: having any fun?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Your kind of fun or my kind of fun?"

"I mean actual fun, involving poor judgment and hot guys. Probably alcohol too."

Poor judgment and hot guys. Well… "No alcohol here. I've got to stay focused."

"Focus while you can, woman! Whatcha doin' for Thanksgiving?"

"Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah, you know, Turkey Day? Fourth Thursday of November?"

"I know what Thanksgiving is. I just...how soon is Thanksgiving?"

"It's October 16 today."

"October 16? The Orionids are peaking soon."

"TMI!"

"No! Darcy! The Orionid meteor shower. On the 20th, I think. I've got to see them!"

"Okay. Go stare at the stars, Ms. Science Woman. But I'm coming to visit you for Thanksgiving."

Jane chuckled. "Poptarts for Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Hey! I can cook. When I want to. And if you can discover new planets or whatever, you can follow a freakin' recipe."

"What about your parents? Are they okay with you coming here?"

"Eh, they're good. They know you've had a tough time. I'll see them at Christmas. Whaddaya say?"

Transferring the phone to the other hand, Jane let the idea sink in. "I love the idea! Thanksgiving at the lab!"

"Yes! I'm so happy! I gotta go, 'kay? But I'll call you in a couple of days."

"Okay. Bye, Darcy."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 138_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

She hadn't bothered to return the couch to its former position nor to tidy the books and papers. Jane lay curled on two of the cushions, nearly swallowed up by her comforter. Loki sank to his knees beside the couch and drank her in. Moonlight smoothed her sleeping face and danced over her hair.

A heartbeat throbbed under her jaw. Jane was mortal, finite, temporary. He had always equated those characteristics with inferior, weak, disposable. Yet with only a nudge from him, she had put the pieces of herself back together. The whiteboard gave mute testimony to her intellectual prowess. Her mind, in only a few decades, rivaled those of the ancient scholars of the other Realms.

He had stayed away from Jane's dreams for several nights, willing himself to hate her. She spoke of Thor, even though he hadn't come to rescue her from her torment. But he couldn't hate her. He had to see her, touch her...

"Loki No-One's-Son."

The putrid smell reached his nostrils a second later. Very few had the power to ambush him, particularly when he was cloaked. Loki briefly closed his eyes, gathering his reserves, then stood to face The Other.

The hooded figure stood an arm's length away. "What do we have here, runt? Resorting to a mortal woman. But I imagine no one else would have you." The Other waved toward Jane. "Please, don't let me stop you."

Loki's lip curled. "You insult me. I was contemplating the best way to kill her."

"Even better. Proceed."

"The time is not yet right."

The Other drifted closer to Jane. "Who is she?"

Loki's skin crawled and he forced himself to turn away as if indifferent. "She is of no consequence apart from possessing part of the key to the Tesseract. I've used her to gather much information." How deeply asleep was Jane? He spoke over his shoulder. "Shall we leave this Midgardian hovel?"

"No," the creature hissed. "I think we'll remain here. I enjoy watching you attempt to disguise your fear."

Loki smirked. "I'm afraid you are mistaking disgust for fear, Your Grace."

"So it would not affect you, then,"—he slowly extended his six-fingered hand toward the sleeping Jane—"if I ended her life to punish you for your insolence?"

Loki shrugged, looking away dismissively. "She is nothing to me. Her death would not motivate me. I warn you, though, that killing her might delay the conclusion of the mission."

Time froze while Loki silently begged Jane not to awaken. The Other withdrew his hand and approached Loki.

"Thank you for the reminder, runt. Regarding this mission, why haven't you brought the treasure to Master yet?"

Loki schooled himself to measure his words and bow his head. "Your Grace, as one of the Infinity Stones, the Tesseract is semi-sentient and unimaginably powerful. It cannot simply be seized and wielded. It must be wooed and won over. I needed to witness for myself what provokes it, what soothes it."

"You have been away for three iterations of the moon of Zetrya." The warning in his tone resurrected a thousand nightmares.

"It was unavoidable." He spread his hands, palm up, as if asking for mercy. "Time behaves differently on Midgard than at the Sanctuary. I have been here for only fourteen rotations of the Realm."

The robed one drew closer; the stench of death was sickening. "And how much longer do you expect Master to be patient?"

"I beg you, Your Grace, allow me but a few more days to finish preparing the Tesseract. I will then return to Master. We will ready our army and await victory."

"How many?"

When was that meteor shower? He wanted the memory of Jane watching the skies. "Three. Allow me but three more rotations."

"If you betray Master—"

"Surely you don't imagine that even _I_ am that arrogant, Your Grace," Loki smoothly cut in.

"If you betray Master," The Other began again, " _she_ will suffer."

Loki saw sliced flesh and shattered bones, remembered maddening pain and wrenching breaths. He inclined his head mutely in submission.

His hooded tormentor vanished. Loki sent tracers to make sure The Other had truly left. He cursed himself—how could he not have sensed the creature's arrival? Loki stood with his head bowed and fists clenched for a long moment, then turned to Jane's sleeping form.

She made him smile, she shattered his prejudices, she fired his blood.

And she was impossible...nearly impossible.

A good man would want the best for Jane. An honorable man would leave her in peace if he wasn't that "best" for her. But as he had already warned Jane, there were no men like him.

He reached a hand toward her brow, soundlessly mouthing the spell to enter her dream.

oooOOOooo

Standing at the whiteboard, Jane uncaps the marker and stretches to start her calculations.

Kai is suddenly there, striding across the lab.

"Where have you—"

He cuts her words off with an abrupt kiss. Jane, in shock, makes no protest. Kai slides his arms around her waist and lifts her, lessening their height difference. The marker falls to the floor. She instinctively wraps her arms around his neck for stability and vaguely registers that his leather garments are missing. He nips her bottom lip and she gasps quietly, then sighs as he licks the sting away. A sweet ache pulses low in her belly. She shyly meets his tongue with her own. He growls and deepens the kiss, plundering her mouth.

She cannot string together a complete thought. _What...we've never...it's been so long...mmmm…_ Kai walks backward until his legs hit the couch, then he slowly sits, gathering her on his lap. Not satisfied to be passive, Jane wriggles around to straddle him. A strangled groan escapes him. She sinks her hands into his silky hair and takes what she wants.

His hands run up and down her back. Jane is melting in this heat. She bites his earlobe and inhales the delicious scent that is uniquely Kai—cool evergreen and something that makes her pulse race. His heartbeat also pounds against her lips and the long tendons of his neck twitch under her teeth.

Jane kisses her way back to his mouth and they meet as equals, both giving, both taking, battling, biting, suckling, soothing. She pauses to draw a breath and Kai rests his forehead against hers, his hair tickling her cheeks.

"Jane," he whispers, his breathing a ragged mess.

"Hmmm?" she answers, unable to form words just yet.

He traces a random pattern on her side. "Run away with me."

Jane smiles, twitching from the tickling. "Okay...but I have to be back...by tomorrow. I have...Skype call...with Erik."

Kai stills, pulling away slightly. She opens her eyes to find him gazing at her soberly.

"Kai?"

"Not just for this night. Come away with me."

Eyebrows drawing together, Jane says, "What does that mean, Kai?"

"What if we could always be together?"

Wide-eyed now, Jane pushes off Kai's lap and stands. Without the leather coat and armor, he is less intimidating. He looks almost young with his hair mussed and his linen shirt wrinkled. He watches her intently, his long, long lashes sweeping his cheeks when he blinks.

She has missed him.

"How?" Jane asks. "You...you're not real, Kai. You came to help me get over the Destroyer, and stayed to help me with the Tesseract. You said that you would leave when I didn't need you anymore. What does it mean if you never leave?"

Kai winces. "Are you afraid of losing your mind, love? It doesn't have to be like that. We could—"

"Two weeks ago, if you'd made me the offer of escaping to a lovely dream world, I would have said yes immediately because my life was nothing but a nightmare." Emotion wells up in her throat and stings her eyes. "But you helped me heal, Kai. You helped me come back from the dead. Now there's work to be done—important work. There's life to be lived. I can't turn my back on that."

Kai closes his eyes. "I don't want to let you go, Jane. I feel—I feel _peace_ when I'm with you."

Jane sinks back onto the couch. Tears burn their way down her cheeks. "I don't want to let you go, either. I would give anything to be able to actually kiss you and laugh with you and work with you."

Churning green eyes pin her in place. "Do you mean that?"

She nods her head, wiping tears away. "Yes. But it's impossible."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 139_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Awareness came to her in slow waves. Jane gradually opened her eyes. She was in her lab. Good. Her night had been restless, filled with sinister voices and the stench of decomposing flesh, with the thrill of Kai's kiss, but also unease. Living in a dream world had nearly destroyed her once. She couldn't do that again, even for Kai.

She had to force herself to interact with flesh-and-blood people. Jane impulsively got up from the couch and sat at her work table. Choosing the laptop that SHIELD monitored, she sent an email to her department head at Culver, letting him know she was interviewing potential interns for the spring semester. There. That seemed normal. SHIELD would know she was doing something and maybe it'd be good for her to have an actual person around.

She'd have to sleep in her trailer again. Before she could talk herself out of it, Jane grabbed a sweatshirt and her keys and headed out the door of the lab. The early-morning sunlight stung her eyes and the air was crisp.

Two trailers hid behind the old service station. Their small capsule-shaped exteriors had prompted Darcy to nickname them "the body pods." Jane unlocked one of them and let the door swing open. Stale air drifted out. Hesitantly, she stepped up the stairs into the tight space. In front of her, the bed lay stripped of sheets. A faint sour smell clung to everything.

She closed her eyes. _You can do this, Jane. Breathe...two...three...four._ Opening her eyes, Jane resolutely knelt on the bed and unlatched the windows. A cool breeze filtered in, erasing some of the mustiness. She looked to her left. Darcy had tidied the tiny kitchenette before closing up the trailer, so there was nothing to be done there. Next she turned to the bathroom on the opposite end of the space. Jane gathered the bath towel hanging on the door.

A quick dusting and sweeping, and the trailer would be liveable. In a day or two. When she was ready. Definitely by the time Darcy came for Thanksgiving. Jane's nerves felt dangerously close to the surface of her skin. She had yanked the windows shut and turned to leave when a flash of metallic sparkle caught her attention. There. On the floor, tucked in the corner under the table.

Jane knelt and pulled out a hammer-shaped charm. _Mjolnir._ She sat back heavily and stared at the pendant. Thor must have lost it when he carried a drunk Erik to her trailer.

"Thor," she whispered, "where have you been?"

She huffed a bitter laugh. What a mess. Pining for two impossible men. Her fingers curled around the charm. Thor was at least real. That was a start.

"Let me go, Kai."

Why was healing sometimes more painful than the wound itself?

oooOOOooo

"We can't get that much vibranium, Jane."

She blinked at Erik's image on her laptop screen. "It's good to see you, too, Erik."

Erik grimaced and shook his head. "Sorry. Hi, Jane. It's nice to see you. We can't possibly secure that amount of vibranium."

"You seem...stressed, Erik."

"Yeah? I _am_ stressed. I've got half of SHIELD breathing down my neck on this project while you indulge in fantasies over there."

"Fantasies?" What...how could Erik know?

Erik squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I apologize. Not fantasies. But I need you to set aside your passion for space travel for now and help me solve the energy source question."

Whew. But also—not cool. Since when did Erik think space-time travel was just a fantasy? "What's the emergency, Erik? SHIELD has been sitting on the Tesseract for decades. What difference is a few days going to make?"

"Has your equipment shown peculiar readings lately?"

Jane glanced at the still, silent boxes, glad they were off-camera. "Umm, you know, I haven't really monitored the readings closely. I've been busy working on the Tesseract project for you. It'll take me a few minutes to review the data..."

"Fire up the sensors, Jane. SHIELD is concerned about a new threat to Earth. In the last few days the Tesseract has been emitting the same gamma-ray signals as when the Bifrost was activated. This _is_ an emergency."

Her throat constricted at the same time that her heart accelerated. Jane slumped back in her office chair. _Breathe! Who—what—how can we protect ourselves?_

"Jane? Listen to me, Jane." Erik's voice came to her through a long tunnel. "We're working on a way to defend Earth, remember? And you have something to contribute. I need you to focus on this for me."

Jane nodded automatically while she shakily drew in long breaths. She would _not_ go back to that dark place. She had fought too hard. The Destroyer would not win.

"The Destroyer!" Jane said, sitting up swiftly.

"What?" asked Erik.

"SHIELD took the shell of the Destroyer away, didn't they?"

Erik glanced off-camera, as if checking with another person. "That's, you know, the wreckage of Tony Stark's failed experiment was—"

"Cut the crap, Erik. Seriously?" She raised her voice, hoping whoever was eavesdropping got an earful. "I know you goons have the Destroyer! Use it. You saw how it worked. Form a capsule around the Tesseract of that stuff. And your guys have been working on how to store the radiant energy, right?"

"Yes, though they've hit some snags."

"Okay, so that's the next thing we've got to concentrate on."

After jotting down some specs, Jane ended the call. She pushed back from her work table and tried to stand. The burst of bravado had drained away, though, and she could not make her legs work. The Destroyer had been banished from her nightmares, but reality hadn't changed. No one knew what threats lurked in the darkness of space, and Earth was still completely vulnerable.

The room seemed to crumple in toward her, and the ringing in her ears amplified her heartbeat. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the chair.

"Help. Someone. Anyone. Help."

* * *

A/N #2: Something's gotta give, right? As one reviewer noted so insightfully: "...Loki's frustrated and Jane needs a "real" Kai." Are you ready to follow me down the rabbit hole? Jane's life is about to get a lot stranger.


	12. Chapter 11

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the holidays. I've been working on this chapter, as promised, and it got so big and shaggy that I thought it better to break it up. So, here's part one of going down the rabbit hole…

Thanks to all who've followed, favorited, and reviewed. You all make this fun! And a big thanks to dristi5683 for her invaluable help as my beta.

* * *

 _Day 140_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Torn wallpaper sheets hung crookedly from battered walls. Chunks of white porcelain had been flung well into the bedroom, rust stains still visible on the chipped surfaces. A cheap alarm clock sat undisturbed on the veneer nightstand, but the bed itself was a total loss. Remnants of wire springs, crumbs of rubbery stuffing, and shreds of cloth covered the splintered wood of the frame. Glass was everywhere—tinkling down from what remained of the light fixture, studding the walls and blanketing the floor.

Against the wall sat a long, lean figure, legs outstretched. His hands lay limp at his sides, his dark head sagged against the scarred drywall. He wore only breeches and a linen tunic—no armor, nothing to protect himself from the debris. Fragments of glass and splinters of wood tangled in his long ink-black hair; blood dotted his skin from dozens of nicks and scratches.

Slowly, he rolled his head to one side, then the other, surveying the destruction. Loki wondered dully if the muting spell still held, or if that last blast had shattered it. It didn't matter, really. If the mortals came to investigate, he would disappear. Or rip their throats open. Whichever option pleased him in the moment.

He wiped a cut over his left eye, heedless of the blood smudged on his sleeved arm. Pain sang faintly along his nerves, but he welcomed it. Heaving a sigh, Loki flicked two fingers of his left hand and the shabby hotel room reassembled itself yet again. The green shimmer swelled on his palm. He held it back, savoring the power. The buzz of the magic became a sting, but still he restrained it. _This_ , at least, he could control, unlike so much else in his wretched life.

Like with an aching tooth that you simply must push and probe, Loki ran through his list of grievances yet again. What was it about Thor? How did that great golden half-wit nearly always get what Loki wanted? It was all the more maddening because Thor never worked for any of it. Yes, of course, Thor trained to fight. But that didn't count.

Father's affection? Respect from the court? The throne?

Jane?

It all seemed to come effortlessly to Thor. No matter how little he cared about it. No matter how deeply, desperately Loki cared.

Jane had kissed him, recklessly, passionately. But she had refused to run away with him, and then had clutched Thor's talisman like it was her lifeline. It was his own doing—he had made her believe he existed only in her dreams—and yet her whispered _"let me go"_ had cut surprisingly deep.

He had come to this broken-down place to kill Jane Foster, but fate had intervened. Now, instead of punishing Thor, _he_ was suffering. He had allowed Jane, if not into his heart, then at least under his skin. It was decidedly one of the more self-defeating things he had done, but he could not undo it. Those whiskey eyes and warm walnut hair, that soft skin and sweet mouth left him yearning. She haunted his dreams, too: he could feel her, taste her.

But he could walk away from Jane, could leave her to Thor, if she were just beautiful. After all, attractive women were plentiful in the Nine Realms.

Jane's _mind_ , however, was a singular phenomenon. It flexed and stretched to accept incomprensible ideas, even to create them. She perceived order in chaos, reason behind insanity. Jane's intellect was a match for his, possibly greater, made more valuable because of her fragile mortal nature. Thor believed Loki could answer Jane's questions, and still have more to teach her. Loki wasn't confident that was true. Certainly he knew facts to which she hadn't yet been exposed, but he was in awe of the way she consumed new information, assimilated it into her existing framework of knowledge, and used it to produce new hypotheses. No person—regardless of species or gender—had ever challenged him the way she did.

Thor was a warrior. A muscle-bound, thuggish soldier. He blindly accepted his world, wasn't even curious about how the Bifrost worked or how Loki could shield an entire regiment in a battle. As long as his body functioned and his hammer came to him, he was content. Thor did not deserve a woman such as Jane. Her most precious attribute—her rare genius—would be unappreciated. She would have withered under the glare of his lightning.

It was truly a pity her life had to end, a pawn in a power struggle she knew nothing about. It wasn't her fault that Thor cared for her; it wasn't her fault that Loki needed to hurt Thor. His mouth twisted with a painful smile.

Loki convulsively clenched his fists, finally releasing the destruction.

Fragments, shreds, splinters, shards, slivers, chunks...

Glass, wood, metal, fabric, ceramic…

Flew, blasted, spun, floated, exploded, sliced, embedded, tore…

He would exact his revenge this night, then leave and never look back.

oooOOOooo

There _had_ to be a way to make this work. Jane rubbed her aching eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She glanced at her sheet of notes. Vibranium wasn't practical. It was too rare. Depleted uranium was no good. It could store gamma radiation, and it was dense and durable, but it did nothing to help them use the energy.

Sighing, Jane pushed away from her work station. She aimed herself toward the kitchen and yet another cup of coffee. Reaching for a clean mug, she caught sight of the take-out food containers stacked on the counter. Jane poured the coffee and frowned, searching her memory, but coming up blank. Isabel must have let herself in. Jane wasn't upset; she had given Isabel a key a couple of days ago when she had realized how all-consuming this Tesseract project was becoming. Apparently that had been a wise choice.

Jane opened one of the containers; her mouth watered at the enticing aroma of Isabel's _arroz con pollo_. Two bites in, she was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. "Unknown caller."

"Hello?"

"Jane, I need you at the facility." Erik's tone put her on edge.

"What's going on?"

"The Tesseract is acting increasingly erratically. We need to be working together."

"We are working together."

"No, I mean I need you here with me."

Jane shook her head, though Erik couldn't see. "No, I have all the information I need here. I don't want to be closer to the Tesseract. I know the damage it can do."

"Then you know that in a worst-case scenario, it won't matter if you're _here_ or _there_. And some of this stuff, this new data, is too sensitive to pass on even over secure lines."

"It's a glorified prison, Erik!"

"It's a secure research facility. It's for your own good. You need to be kept safe. Whatever is influencing the Tesseract must know you are involved, too. You're completely unprotected in Puente Antiguo."

Jane hesitated. She _was_ vulnerable and alone. And scared, if she were being honest. But the thought of surrendering to those SOBs at SHIELD, of them watching her 24/7, of zero real privacy...

"Thanks for the concern, really, but I'll take my chances here."

Erik's sigh was barely audible over the hums and clicks. "You don't actually have a choice, Jane. SHIELD is sending someone to escort you to the facility."

Jane's heart thumped rapidly. _Breathe, Jane. In, out, two, three, four._ Instead of a sick lump of fear, though, a fire ignited in her core. She wasn't anxious; she was angry.

For the first time, Jane thought Erik sounded old and worn out. "The agent will arrive in Puente Antiguo at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. I called as a courtesy, to give you a heads up."

She didn't answer, but cut the call off and set her phone on mute. She was tired of being afraid, vulnerable, small, of being out of control. Tears stung her eyes and her head pounded. _What do I do?_

The fire in her belly flashed. Jane snatched the mug and hurled it to the concrete floor of the kitchen. Hot coffee and blue ceramic exploded. She cursed and stomped on the pieces of the mug, crushing it to fragments. Her gaze ricocheted around the room, searching for something else to vent her anger on.

A pillow was her next victim. Jane pressed it to her face and screamed with all her might, then viciously yanked at the seams until the fabric gave way. She shredded the white fluffy stuffing. The soft cloth tore under her clawing nails, the sound of ripping immensely satisfying.

What next? Jane stalked back to the kitchenette, spotted a red mug in the sink, and grabbed it. Pain shocked her whole system, and she yelped and dropped the new mug. A large, wicked-looking shard of blue ceramic lay in the sink. Blood dripped from her injured left hand, and Jane stumbled to the dining table.

The knife-edge of pain sliced through the fury. She slumped in a chair and wrapped her bleeding hand in the tail of her flannel shirt. Deflated, Jane looked at the mess she'd made. It had felt marvelous to be the one destroying instead of being destroyed, but what good had her temper tantrum done? She had only hurt herself.

As her anger cooled, the pounding in her head increased. Her hand was throbbing heavily. Warmth spread on her chest, and she saw that she'd bled through her shirt. Gingerly, she unwrapped the fabric and assessed the damage. A gash ran jaggedly across the heel of her hand down to her wrist. Jane's first aid training told her that she hadn't sliced anything vital, but the wound did need attention.

Her phone lay on the counter. She took three deep breaths, then slowly stood and and shuffled into the kitchen. Jane swiped Isabel's name and waited. She answered on the fifth ring, skipping the preamble.

"So, you woke up from your trance, eh? You didn't even know I was there. How was the rice? Good, right?"

Jane frowned in concentration, fighting dizziness. "Um, Isabel? Could you come over, let yourself in? I need help."

oooOOOooo

She was not going to miss the meteor shower. Jane had toyed with the idea of jumping in the van and making a run for it. Erik really did need her help, though, and SHIELD would find her eventually anyway. So she had begrudgingly packed for her stay at the SHIELD facility. Thanks to her injured hand, it had taken hours; finally, two bags sat next to the couch: a small suitcase with her personal effects, and a larger bag with her laptop and notebooks. Isabel was safeguarding the SHIELD-free laptop. There would be no escaping the surveillance once she was in their clutches tomorrow.

But that was tomorrow. Tonight, she was going to watch shooting stars. Jane made a large thermos of coffee and grabbed a box of Pop-Tarts. Everything she needed for stargazing went into a rucksack, with a sleeping bag strapped on top. Dressed in layers, warm barn jacket zipped up, Jane carefully hoisted the pack onto her back. She opened the door of the lab and squealed at the bright scattering of stars in the night sky. This was going to be great, and she wasn't going to let SHIELD ruin it.

Jane walked around the building to the metal ladder which led up to the roof. The chilly air bit her nose as she contemplated the logistics of hauling herself and her gear up the ladder with a bum hand. Isabel had bandaged the deep cut as best she could, and now Jane had a bulky paw instead of five fingers. _Too bad this isn't a dream_ , Jane thought. _I could just wish myself on the roof. If only Kai...stop, Jane. Enough._

Double-checking the straps on her pack, Jane faced the ladder. The rungs came nearly to the ground. She could do this. With her right hand, she grasped the ladder, then stepped onto a low rung and wrapped her left elbow around the side for stability. In this way, she painstakingly climbed her way to the top, muscles locked for fear of slipping, grateful for the absence of ice and wind. Finally on the roof, she grinned in triumph, before realizing that climbing down would be even more difficult. Screw it. She'd stay up here all night and make the SHIELD toady haul her down in the morning.

oooOOOooo

Jane was a fool, ignoring her well-being for the sake of watching space garbage self-immolate. Loki had overheard her conversation with Erik, witnessed her outburst, and guarded her as she had struggled up the ladder. She slumped onto one of the lawn chair loungers, bag still on her back. Blood had soaked through the bandage and stained the wrist of her coat. He doubted she had noticed.

A streak of light brushed the sky. Jane came alive. Her face lit up, the way he remembered from one of her first dreams. She clambered off the chair and began to unpack her rucksack, keeping her gaze fixed above. The metal carafe came out first. Jane blindly placed it on the roof, where it promptly fell over. Next was a small box. One of the straps holding the sleeping bag caught and she tugged several times before huffing in exasperation and tearing her attention from the sky. Glancing at the stars every few seconds, Jane finished her preparations. She laboriously climbed into the bag, then reached for the thermos and poured herself some coffee.

" _Enjoy,"_ Loki snarled. He would allow her a last moment of joy.

oooOOOooo

Her left arm throbbed terribly. Tomorrow she would be taken prisoner by jack-booted thugs. She was infatuated with a figment of her imagination and should probably be committed. But the sky was alive with dancing, streaking, swirling meteors. Jane was happy. For a couple of hours, she sat entranced by the sparkling display, expressing her joy aloud. She drank coffee and ate Pop-Tarts, took pictures and made notes.

Once, thrilled by an especially gorgeous specimen, Jane unthinkingly turned to the other chair. "Did you see—" she began, before shaking her head and turning back to the show. "Stop talking to imaginary friends, Jane."

Even with the excitement of the meteor shower, the recent long nights of little sleep and frantic work meant that her eyes grew heavy sooner than she would have liked. Jane glanced at her phone to check the time (1:49 a.m.) and saw that Erik had sent a text. A spike of fear stabbed her heart. What now?

 _Erik S.: Situation worsening. Tess v unstable. Be ready by 7 a.m._

Five hours left of freedom.

Earth was under a serious threat.

Jane couldn't decide which was worse.

Her phone fell from nerveless fingers. Tears slid down her cheeks. What if something like the Destroyer—or worse—slammed down on Earth again? Thor was the only person she knew of who could help, and he hadn't responded to her pleas.

Erik thought the answer was to join SHIELD. He didn't understand her aversion to the organization, but saw it as an opportunity with unlimited resources. She saw the faceless entity who had stolen her life's work with impunity. It was only _after_ her theories had been proven right, _after_ the Destroyer had decimated Puente Antiguo, _after_ Thor's powers had returned, that they had listened to her. She knew SHIELD didn't respect her even now; their lead physicist wanted her to work with him, and it would simply be easier to keep track of her under their roof.

She was alone, defenseless. And once she was within the confines of the research facility, she would be isolated. Jane hugged herself. Sharp pain immediately sliced through her, and she quickly pulled her hands back. Red blood stained almost the entire bandage and had seeped onto her coat. She should have listened to Isabel, should have gone to the hospital for stitches. Now she'd have to let SHIELD doctors poke at her. Cradling her injured hand with her whole one, she forced herself to look at the sky.

Meteors blazed above, but she could only stare numbly. Tears still trickled down her face, leaving freezing trails. A tickle in her nose made her sneeze three times in rapid succession. Her eyelids felt terribly heavy. They slid shut, though she fought to keep them open. Slowly she blinked, and again.

"Hello, Jane."

She blinked again to clear her vision, then smiled tiredly. "Hello, Kai."

oooOOOooo

Jane became a child again when she watched the skies. This night was no different. Each time a meteor flew across, she clapped her hands and cheered. She talked to the shooting stars, encouraging them on their journeys and thanking them for the beautiful display. Loki shook his head at her naivete, half-disdainful, half-jealous.

Jane squealed in delight at a particularly showy meteor. She scribbled a line in her notebook, then clapped her hands. "That was amazing! Well done!" Swiftly, she turned to him. "Did you see—" she began, then snapped her mouth shut and shook her head. "Stop talking to imaginary friends, Jane."

Raven eyebrows knitting in confusion, Loki stared at her. Jane still sought him out. Why? He shook his head; it was of no import. He had to attend to his task.

After Loki dropped the shield cloaking him from Asgard, Heimdall would be honor-bound to report his appearance. Even if the Bifrost was still broken, Odin would doubtlessly find a way to send Thor to retrieve his errant "brother."

Her death scene wouldn't be as gory as Loki had fantasized about before arriving on Midgard. He couldn't spill Jane's blood. Instead, he would euthanize her with the sleeping spell, as he had mistakenly done once before. Thor would arrive to find Jane cold and lifeless, but whole, unmolested. Loki only wished he could watch Thor discover Jane. That was the flaw in his plan: he would have to bear the pain of taking Jane's life, but would not get the satisfaction of witnessing Thor's shock.

Grief abruptly squeezed his chest. He dragged in a searing breath and gritted his teeth. It was magnitudes more merciful than the death The Other would have administered, he reminded himself. But the image of Jane lying dead...Loki felt as though it tore a rift in his soul. There was no other way, though. Thor had to be punished.

Loki crooked his fingers, summoning his power. As he crafted the familiar golden sleeping spell, he contemplated his next steps. Armed with a greater understanding of the Tesseract's capabilities, he had decided not to steal it yet. He would return to Thanos, as agreed, and give a report of his findings. Leaving the Tesseract in place would lull the mortals into a false sense of security, and it would serve as an easy portal when he was prepared to invade. At that time, he could take possession of it and open a portal to bring his army to Midgard.

Would anyone realize that Jane had helped him use the Tesseract? Would they think she had willingly colluded with him? Perhaps they would understand that she hadn't known what she was doing. Loki frowned and his fingers stilled as he listened to his own thoughts. What did it matter what the mortals thought of Jane?

 _You are a fool._

The magic shook in his fingers, and he turned his attention to completing the spell. His task finished, Loki sent the orb to a pocket dimension until the time was right. A meteor flew overhead. It was impressive, for a pitiful realm like Midgard. It reminded him of the view from Asgard when stars exploded in distant clusters. Jane would love that display.

He heard a quiet sniff once, then again. Loki glanced Jane's way, then turned more fully to face her. Tears streaked her face. She had been so excited about the meteor shower; what was causing this distress? The phone lay precariously at her side, screen still lit. He stood to read the message from Erik, and then studied Jane. Her breathing was shallow and rapid, broken by an occasional sob. She moaned faintly and her brow furrowed sharply.

At seven a.m. someone would be here. Just before dawn. He didn't have much time left with Jane. Agony seized his chest again and his hands clenched. He hated Erik and he hated SHIELD for using Jane, for playing on her fears while she was still recovering from trauma. The irony was not lost on him—he hated himself, too. Jane deserved to be protected, cared for, defended.

 _You're a fool._ _You're the one who caused her trauma. You're the one she needs to be protected_ from.

Loki closed his eyes, warring with himself. He was backed into a corner. He could not walk away from Thanos—Jane would pay in unthinkable ways for that transgression. He could not reveal his true self to her. A breath caught jaggedly in his throat when he imagined Jane's furious rejection. He could merely seduce Jane, as he had considered. But that wouldn't cause Thor nearly enough anguish. Thor could, after all, nobly put the incident behind him and still accept Jane. And Loki could not, would not allow Thor to have her.

 _You're a fool._

The copper tang of blood hung in the air; plainly, Isabel's attempt to bind Jane's wound had failed. Healing her would be simple. A single bitter laugh seized his throat. He had already created the spell which would take her life, and yet he was concerned with a cut on her hand. He was, indeed, a fool, to have allowed himself to fall in love—yes, he could admit it—with this woman.

Weary of his own callow whining, Loki retrieved the sleeping spell.

" _Forgive me, Jane,"_ he whispered.

It was time to break this foolish bond. Loki readied the golden orb. He closed his eyes, unwilling to watch her slip from life, but the scent of her blood still filled his nostrils. His hands froze, his mind erupting in a frenzy.

Blood...

Bonds…

Blood…

A bond...

Loki snatched the golden sphere out of the air, unused. He stared at Jane with wide eyes, then pivoted to pace the expanse of the roof, overcoat tangling around his long legs, inky hair flying with his jerky movements.

What if—? He steepled his hands together and pressed his eyes shut, searching his memory for the correct sequence. She had to be awake, had to speak the truth. How could he—? And would she—?

He didn't have much time, but he had to proceed gently, carefully so as not to spook Jane. Deftly, his long fingers beckoned new wisps of magic, then wove them into a silvery shimmering mass as he frantically muttered incantations. This he sifted over Jane, then sat across from her. She sneezed as the enchanted dust tickled her nose. Loki took a deep breath, hastily whispered a prayer to whomever might be listening, and dissolved the spell that hid him from Jane. Her eyes focused slowly on him.

"Hello, Jane."

A smile, then, "Hello, Kai."


	13. Chapter 12

A/N: Please be aware that this chapter contains some dub-con stuff, though the story is still rated T. Jane doesn't really know who Kai is, after all.

Real life has needed to be my priority lately, but I promise to update this story as often as I'm able. It's all outlined and everything. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing! And thanks to dristi5683 for her great advice and encouragement.

* * *

 _Day 140/141_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

She had to spend more time with flesh-and-blood people. She must focus on what is real. She could not keep living in a dream world.

In that instant, with Kai sitting across from her, Jane tossed all those "shoulds" aside. She had been damaged and useless, and only Kai had rescued her from the Destroyer. She was alone and afraid, and only Kai had come to her. Erik kept pulling her deeper into the belly of the beast, ignoring her fear and hesitation. Thor had not answered her plea for help. Kai was here with her. Jane didn't care if he was her own creation or not—she would not let him go again.

"I'm so glad to see you." Jane unzipped the sleeping bag and sat up to face Kai.

His mouth curved into a warm smile. "I am glad to see _you_ , love," he said.

Then the dam broke, and Jane blabbered on and on. "It's been awful! SHIELD is coming in the morning." She filled him in on nearly every detail: the increased threat to Earth, the forced move to the research facility, her frustrations with the project...

"I've figured that if we use scraps of the Destroyer, we have a shot at containing bursts of energy from the Tesseract."

Loki raised his eyebrows and nodded. "That idea seems sound."

"Thanks. But we don't want to just absorb or diffuse the energy, we want to be able to use it. And I'm at a loss. I've considered every material used for storing radioactive substances, but they each have serious drawbacks. If we can't harness the gamma spikes, then possessing the Tesseract is like sitting on a ticking bomb."

Kai listened patiently. At the end of her tirade, he motioned to her bandaged hand. "And what is this?"

Jane shrugged. "I threw a temper tantrum. I guess this is what I get."

"Ah. I regret that you had to face these days alone. I—Well, I was under the impression you no longer welcomed my assistance."

Jane looked away, up to the skies. Meteors continued to flash while Jane considered her reply. After a long moment, she said, "I told you to let me go because I was afraid of losing my sanity, of getting trapped in a dream world."

Kai leaned forward, spearing her with his stare. "And now? Are you still afraid now?"

Jane slowly shook her head. "No, I'm not afraid. Real life," she said, drawing quotation marks in the air, "is going to keep throwing crazy stuff at me no matter what I do. I don't want to disconnect from reality, but I don't want to lose you. You're the only one...the only one who understands, the only one who helps me."

Kai stood and held out his hand. "Come here, love, you're too far away."

Jane took his hand and stood. She looked up—way up—at him. "Have you always been so terribly tall?"

He motioned behind her, and Jane turned to find the green velvet lounger had appeared on the roof of her lab. But dreams were crazy like that.

oooOOOooo

"You won't need this," he said, and slid her bulky jacket off, mindful of her injured hand. The small shield he'd put up ensured she would stay warm. Loki sat first, and tugged her down on his lap.

Loki held still, absorbing the sensations. If Jane's skin was soft in her dreams, it was the finest satin in reality. If Jane's eyes were pretty in her dreams, they were bewitching now. Taken aback by his strong response to her, he commanded himself to go slowly, to wait for the right time.

"Kai?" Jane whispered.

"Yes?"

"What kind of dream is this?"

Loki cleared his throat before he trusted himself to lie. "Isn't a dream just a dream?"

"You seem different."

"Do I?"

Jane looked up at him. "Yeah. Your eyes are brighter. You feel more substantial, warmer. It's like—it's like you're real."

"Hmmm," Loki delayed. She was more perceptive than he had expected. "Maybe it's because you've decided that you want me to stay." He held his breath, waiting.

She didn't answer immediately, appearing to be deep in thought. And then, incongruously, "My hand hurts."

"You're still bleeding." He ran his hand lightly down her arm.

"Yeah. I should probably get stitches. I'd ask you to heal it for me, but..."

"It's not a dream injury," Kai finished for her.

"Right," Jane said. She rested against his chest.

Loki breathed more easily. He wrapped his arms around her, relishing her warmth. _Now is the time. This is perfect._ "Would you allow me to unwrap your bandage? I know something that might help."

Jane shrugged. "I guess. It's just a dream."

Loki unwound the white gauze and exposed her damaged flesh. The cut still weeped blood, the adhesive bandages doing very little to hold the torn edges of the skin together. He disliked imagining her in pain, but this was exactly what he needed.

"Close your eyes for me, love."

"Why? What are you going to do?" Jane whipped her head up to stare at him.

"Trust me, Jane. Have I ever done anything to harm you? Haven't I always protected and rescued you?"

Jane studied him for a beat, then answered, "Yes."

Loki tilted his head to press his lips to her temple. He breathed in her sweet scent, then murmured, "Then close your eyes."

This time Jane complied, her lashes fluttering to meet her cheeks. Swiftly he summoned his dagger and drew it across his right wrist, stifling a gasp, until the rich blood welled up. He slid his palm across her injured left one and down, grasping her forearm and pressing wound to wound. Jane flinched. He flicked the fingers of his left hand, casting a painkilling spell. She relaxed fully against him, and said, "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Under his breath, Loki murmured, "Kostr. Ey."

Jane said, "What did you say?"

He kissed her temple again and whispered, "Look at me." He wanted to look into her eyes when he spoke the words.

She obeyed. He could drown in the depths of those whiskey eyes.

"I would be bound to you forever, Jane Foster."

Her eyes widened. "Wow. That's...so dramatic." Her gentle smile took away some of the sting of her words, but Loki found himself unexpectedly insecure.

"My words are sincere. I don't know how else to tell you. Did I misread your actions? Do you feel differently?"

Jane sobered and raised her good hand to cup his cheek. "I feel the same. Stay with me, Kai. Forget what I said the other day. Don't ever let me go."

Loki suddenly loathed his assumed persona. He wanted to hear his name, his real name, on Jane's lips. A pang of jealousy—for himself!—made him drop his eyes.

Jane tenderly patted his cheek. "Hey. Now _you_ look at _me_."

He did, and she brushed her thumb over his lips. A pang of a different sort jolted him. She slowly whispered, "I mean it. I would be bound to you forever, too."

Loki gathered Jane to him with one arm, their other arms still clasped. He rested his chin on top of her head, closed his eyes, and breathed the words again, "Kostr. Ey."

A heavy peace settled over him. His wound began to burn as it healed itself, like he had expected. The ritual had taken! He stole a glance at Jane to see if she was uncomfortable. The painkilling spell seemed to be holding, though, and she looked as content as he felt.

Loki, who possessed the ability and knowledge to walk the stars, who was named among the most powerful mages in the Nine Realms, who could twist space and reality, was made whole, not by conquering worlds, nor by carrying a king's mace, but by this woman.

 _His_ woman. Forever.

This was a most satisfying victory. He had completely vanquished Thor, and the musclebound oaf didn't even know it yet. Cold, cruel joy drew his lips back to bare his teeth in disturbing mimicry of a smile. He pictured Thor's stunned face when he eventually realized what his not-brother had done. He imagined Thor having to explain to Jane that he had been bested by Loki, he saw Jane's confusion...and with that, regret unexpectedly clawed him once again.

She would despise him, utterly and completely.

He hadn't killed Jane, but he _had_ taken her life, as surely as if he had smothered her breath or stopped her heart. This peace, this contentment couldn't last. It was destined to be shattered. And when it was, any love Jane felt for Kai would surely be turned to hate for Loki.

The burning abruptly intensified, commanding his attention and driving out all other thought. Loki gritted his teeth until the burning coalesced and arrowed into his veins. He drew a deep breath, head swimming and heart pounding. His skin sang where it touched Jane and his mouth watered at her scent. The attraction he had felt for Jane transformed into a terrible need.

 _Control yourself. Slow._ As the one who had executed the ritual, he could not initiate the consummation, and it might take some time for Jane to experience the effects.

oooOOOooo

The pain, the fear, the confusion—they all dissolved as Kai cradled her in his arms. An inexplicable surge of happiness washed over her. A small part of her mind protested. It didn't make sense, that was true. But she had found her soul's home. She knew this as absolutely as she knew the patterns of the constellations: she belonged to Kai and he to her.

And she wanted to demonstrate that to him. Her injured hand no longer hurt, but liquid fire coursed through her body. The scent of evergreen teased her and the press of his fingers on her flesh as he re-bandaged her arm tantalized her. She longed to touch his bare skin. Jane squirmed involuntarily. This was embarrassing. Kai didn't seem to be affected by her nearness the way she was by his.

"Is that better, Jane? Does your hand still hurt?"

She moved her fingers inside the gauze wrapping. "It doesn't hurt at all anymore. Whatever you did was magic. It might hurt when I wake up, but it feels lovely now."

Kai rested his forehead against her temple. "What do you want, Jane?"

She wanted him, of course. He'd already made her forget the pain in her hand, and she wanted him to take away the pain in her head caused by SHIELD.

Crap. SHIELD. She could indulge in a lovely dream, but they were still coming for her in the morning.

She sighed, trying to push away the gnawing in her belly. "It's not what I really _want_ , but I need your help with the Tesseract."

Kai groaned—in frustration?—and nipped the upper shell of her ear. "Ah, Jane, must you _always_ think of work?"

She moaned in response, but managed to say, "SHIELD is basically going to take me hostage in the morning. I need to be prepared."

He ground out another curse, but then growled, "How can I help?"

Jane patted the couch next to her, then twisted slightly one way, then the other. "Where's my notebook?"

oooOOOooo

A bit of magic, and Loki slid the book onto her lap. His outer calmness masked the frenzy inside.

"Thanks. So I've told you the gist of my current dilemma. Any thoughts?" Jane said, awkwardly opening to her last page of notes.

"May I?" he asked, motioning to the notebook. Jane nodded. Loki took the notebook and scanned the pages over her shoulder, reading rapidly under his breath.

oooOOOooo

She tried to focus on the very serious issue of the Tesseract and gamma radiation. The Earth's survival might depend on it. It was challenging, though. Kai's body surrounded her, strong and solid. As he read her notes, little explosions of warm breath danced along the extremely sensitive skin of her neck. The sensations built up until she shuddered.

oooOOOooo

He cleared his head enough to think about the Tesseract. Jane was right; she had exhausted the options for storage. But what if she considered the puzzle from a different perspective? What if—

Jane shivered.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"No."

He sent a wave of warmth through her anyway, for good measure, then resumed reading. Jane shuddered again, then arched her back like a cat. Perhaps the healing wasn't complete and she needed a stronger painkilling enchantment.

Lowering his lips to her ear, he whispered, "Are you in pain?"

She choked out, "No."

Understanding dawned. Chuckling, he persisted in teasing her. "Then why are you shivering?"

"It—I—"

Loki's eyes swirled and flashed, though Jane could not see them. A dark grin spread across his sharp, handsome features.

"Are you shivering because I'm doing this...?" And he deliberately fanned his breath across her exposed neck.

"Ahh," Jane cried softly, and her back arched again.

"I see," Loki purred, pleased. "And what if I do...this?" Leaning closer, he nipped her earlobe.

In response, Jane gripped his thigh with her unbandaged hand and tilted her head to allow him greater access. He buried his nose in the recess behind her ear, nuzzling the velvety skin, before pressing open-mouth kisses to her neck.

Jane squirmed against him. "I want—" she said.

"What, my love?"

"I want you."

The night caught fire around them. Patience ran out, playfulness evaporated. Loki lifted and turned Jane so he could look straight at her.

"I want you, too."

She flushed and tried to turn her face to his chest, but he held her chin.

"Look at me, Jane." She slowly met his eyes. "You will be mine, and mine alone. Do you understand me?"

Loki knew that she could not truly understand, but he was compelled to give her a warning. Jane shook her head. Loki continued, "Forever."

She reached up to take his hand from her chin and move it to her lips. Bold now, she stared steadily at him and repeated, "Forever."

 _Steady._ But the acute yearning in his blood spiked, severely fraying his control, leaving him with a single thought and purpose: to claim his mate. He roughly gathered her to him, shielding her eyes, and threw them through space-time to his hotel room. Jane gasped and clutched at him. Too late, Loki remembered that Jane had never experienced that type of travel.

Loki kept his arms around Jane, covering her eyes. "Shhh...it's all right."

"What _was_ that? What happened?"

In a flash, he scanned their surroundings, while formulating a lie. He had reconstructed the room after his last blast of destruction, but it was still shabby. A temporary glamour transformed the space into a bedchamber fit for royalty...which they were.

He released Jane and said, "You tell me. It's your dream. Remember?"

High vaulted ceilings, tall arched windows, large stone fireplace, a bed with massive dark wooden posters and heavy green drapes...Loki had but an instant to cast a glamour, and he recreated his own bedchamber in Asgard. He rolled his eyes in exasperation at his foolish attachment to his not-home.

Jane held her head and squinted. "I don't know where we are."

She stumbled, and Loki caught her elbow. "Seriously, what just happened? It felt like an earthquake trying to suck the marrow from my bones."

Loki remained silent and merely anchored her while she recovered from the too-violent transition. Jane shook her head and blinked her eyes wide several times, peering owlishly around the room.

"Oh! An old astrolabe!" Only weaving a bit, Jane made her way to the brass astronomy instrument, a souvenir from a much earlier trip to Midgard. After examining it, Jane trailed her hands along the rich bedlinens, rubbed the strong wood of the posters, and stood at the robust fire, warmed by another wave of magic. If she began to test and experiment, as was her wont, she would discover the room was much smaller than it appeared. Loki was confident, though, that she would not question the "dream."

Loki stood still, his pounding blood warning him that time was short, but unable to bring himself to rush her inspection. It was only an illusion, and yet he illogically wanted her to approve of his personal space. Jane stopped in front of him, eyes dancing.

"Kai, this is gorgeous. I've never been anywhere that looks like this. I must have seen it on TV or in a movie. Can you imagine someone actually living here?"

His eyes fixed firmly on Jane, Loki answered, "It is a beautiful sight."

She flushed prettily, but shook her head in denial. "Don't be silly. I'm no match for this...grandiosity. I'm wearing dirty old work clothes."

Loki took one step toward Jane. His eyes must have belied his intentions, because Jane took one step away from him. So he repeated the motion, and so did she. A third time, and her legs hit the side of the bed. She skittered away and stood staring at him. How to gentle her?

"Are you nervous, Jane? You weren't nervous a short while ago." His voice was calm and low.

Jane glanced to her side, as if looking for the way out. "Yes, I guess I am nervous. I...I don't have much experience."

"In what, love?"

"You know. Don't make me say it."

"Dancing? You don't have much experience dancing?"

"What?"

"I'd simply like to dance with you, Jane."

"What?" she repeated dumbly. "I'm really not dressed for…"

oooOOOooo

Jane's voice faded as she glanced down at herself. Her work clothes were gone, replaced by a deep green silk gown. The dress fit her like a second skin, but was modest, long sleeves extending past her wrists, neckline rising high to just below her jaw. Gold edged the skirt molded closely over her hips before flaring out to sweep the floor. Jane caught the reflection of her profile in the enormous window and realized that her hair was gathered in an elegant twist, a few stray curls framing her face. She wiggled her toes and raised the hem of her gown to see her feet clad in simple green slippers.

Jane glanced up at Kai, searching for an answer. But Kai also was transformed, and they could only stare for a long while, eyes hungrily roaming each other. He stood straight-backed before her, broad-shouldered and regally tall. Gone was the all-black uniform he'd worn. Instead, gold armor formed a high collar, crisscrossed his chest, and traced down his arms to his bracers. Snug green breeches, edged with gold, and high mirror-shiny black boots emphasized the unbelievable length of his strong legs. Midnight waves tumbled away from his patrician forehead to brush a floor-length cape, the identical shade as her dress. He radiated dominance and danger. The effect was stunning.

"You—" Jane's voice failed her, and she cleared her throat and tried again. "You look _magnificent_. There should be a crown on your head."

Kai closed his eyes for a moment, and Jane fidgeted, uncertain. But then he opened those magical, swirling eyes and met hers. Jane knew he could see right into her soul.

"No, my love, it is _you_ who should wear a crown." Jane felt a slight weight on her head and she reached up to feel a gem-encrusted tiara.

He stared unblinking at her, then answered her unasked question. "It's your dream, isn't it? Dance with me...your Majesty."

It was a command, not a request, but Jane hesitated.

Kai said, "Is dancing no longer part of this realm's courtship rituals?"

Transfixed by his piercing stare, Jane raised her arms to him. Kai stepped to her, clasped her right hand with his left and slid his right onto her back—her _bare_ back. Jane flinched, and craned her head to inspect the back of her gown. She whipped her head around to meet Kai's gaze accusingly, but he simply raised his eyebrows and quirked the corner of his beautiful mouth.

A single clasp held the high neckline together, then the dress was backless—and practically sideless, Jane found. She felt with her free hand and discovered that the material draped low on her back, low enough to verge on indecent.

"This dress is—"

"Fit for my queen. You are so beautiful, Jane."

And he brooked no more arguments as he pulled her to him, one hand spanning the width of her naked back, the other clasping hers high. His shoulder was too high to reach comfortably, so she rested her left hand on his upper arm. From somewhere a lovely waltz began to play and their feet began to move. Jane found that she followed flawlessly—but then it was a dream, wasn't it?

The crackle of the fire, the haunting music, the caress of the strong hand on her bare skin, and the taut, shifting muscles under the armor intoxicated Jane. Their gazes locked together, they slid and turned gracefully around the flagstone floor. A sudden burst of joy crinkled her eyes and tipped her mouth up in a smile. She wanted this dream to last, to stay locked in the arms of this dangerous, mysterious, wonderful prince.

oooOOOooo

Loki couldn't return Jane's smile. The weight of the want had carried him past levity. He wanted to savor this dance with Jane, almost certainly the only one he would ever have. If, by some miracle, he survived his next crusade, she would never let him touch her again. But this moment was perfect. Jane was breathtaking, draped in a gown to match his dress armor. He had to know if she tasted delicious, too.

Slowing their steps, Loki pulled her up as he bent to her. Jane rose on tiptoes, her small hand grasping his arm. Their lips brushed gently once. Only once, then the kiss was gentle no more. Both of them moaned and both reached for more of the other, crushing, grasping, molding, seeking to slake the vicious thirst. He needed her closer. Loki kept one arm around Jane's back and bent to hook his other arm around

her knees. Effortlessly, he lifted her. She snaked her arms around his neck and brought her mouth to his, giving as much as she was taking.

Jane murmured something against his lips. Pulling back slightly, he asked, "What did you say?"

"Bed. Now."

He was compelled to obey. Three long strides brought them to the side of the bed. Loki flicked a finger: the curtains parted, the rich bedclothes folded back. He lay Jane carefully on his bed and started to stand, to give her a moment to adjust, but she darted a hand out and tugged at him.

"Please," she begged sweetly.

He was lost.

oooOOOooo

Jane slept soundly, on her back, small hands thrown palm-up on the bedclothes. Loki reverently trailed his eyes over her form: her hair silken across his pillow; the long lashes resting on her flushed cheeks; her parted lips, slightly swollen from his fervent kisses; the graceful lines of her throat; the delicate bones of her neck and shoulders, smudged by faint bruises.

Her peaceful slumber contrasted the frantic activity of the previous hour. He had wanted to parcel out the pleasure in measured doses, but instead their coupling had been cataclysmic, tearing Loki and Jane to pieces and remaking them.

Loki traced the scar on his right wrist, following the looped pattern, both agony and ecstasy making his heart accelerate. Jane's mark was barely visible yet on her healing hand, but it would be there. Forever.

The pitch black of the desert sky grayed almost imperceptibly. Someone would arrive soon to collect Jane. Loki yearned to simply disappear with Jane. There were regions of the World Tree known only to a few. They could live there hidden—but Thanos would find them. Eventually.

No, it had to end now. Loki could not take even the memories with him, he knew. A single tear surprised him, sliding down his cheek, falling onto Jane's chest. She shifted in her sleep. With a twist of his hand, Loki retrieved the sleeping spell. He carefully sifted a tiny amount over Jane's resting form.

Satisfied that she would not wake for a long while, Loki rose and beckoned his magic, erasing evidence of their liaison and replacing their clothing, remembering to include the bandage on Jane's injured hand.

Loki scooped the sleeping Jane up, released the glamour on the hotel room, and transported them to the roof. He arranged Jane on her chair before kneeling beside her and whispering instructions in her ear. Finally, he pressed one last kiss to her forehead, steeled himself against the wrenching of parting, and was gone.

oooOOOooo

Gentle rays of the autumn sun wrung the sleep from her eyes. Jane blinked cautiously. She was not in her lab, not on the couch nor in any bed. Where…? What…? Another blink and her eyes fell on her bandaged hand. Awareness flooded in and chased sleep away. SHIELD was coming. Jane fumbled for her phone and swiped the display open. 10:24 a.m.! Someone should already have been here.

Several texts waited from Erik.

 _(6:15 a.m.) Erik S.: There's a situation here. Go to the most secure part of your lab. Wait for more instructions._

 _(8:03 a.m.) Erik S.: Agent has been notified to stand by. Are you there?_

 _(9:51 a.m.) Erik S.: Someone will be there to get you shortly. It's okay._

Jane frowned. The roof was probably not the most secure part, huh? Good thing she slept through all this nonsense. "Thanks for the non-information, Erik."

Well, she probably shouldn't climb down the ladder on her own. And her bladder was full. How long would she have to stay up here? She picked up her notebook and shrugged. Might as well do some work.

The Tesseract. Using the energy. All of a sudden, she felt her mind expand exponentially. She had the solution. Photodiodes! She'd been focused on absorbing and storing the gamma energy as is. But what if they converted that energy, like a solar cell does? There were details to hammer out, but Jane knew this was the answer. Her pen flew over the pages of her notebook as she poured out the images and ideas that sprouted.

A commotion startled her. Someone was pounding on the doors of her lab below.

"Jane! Jane Foster!"

Really, those SHIELD creeps should call her _Dr._ Foster. She'd mention that to Erik as soon as possible.

"Jane! Are you there?"

Wait—that voice...it couldn't be, could it?

Jane awkwardly pushed herself off the lawn chair lounger and padded in her stocking feet to the edge of the roof. "I'm up here! On the roof!"

The sun was in her eyes, but she caught glimpses of silver and red.

"Thank the Norns you're all right!"

Thor.


	14. Chapter 13

A/N: Welcome to some new followers! Thanks so much, everyone, for your kind reviews. And thanks to my lovely beta dristi5683. You're a peach!

* * *

 _Day 141, just before dawn_

 _Mojave Desert, Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

Pale blue light washed the entire cavernous space in a cool, other-worldly glow. The Tesseract beckoned to him, as it did each time he visited, the Space Stone calling to the Star Walker. Loki paced around the swirling cube, coattails flaring, boots soundless on the concrete floor.

"Soon," he crooned, "but not yet."

As Loki had anticipated, the Tesseract responded, growing brighter and more agitated. Usually, Loki savored the pull of the Tesseract, the promise of unimaginable power. This morning, however, he was distracted by a dull ache in his head. A simple painkilling spell would take care of it, as it had done for Jane.

Loki muttered a few words and waited. Nothing. His basic incantation made no difference. He frowned and searched his memory for a stronger spell. When that, too, failed to curb the throbbing, Loki cursed loudly. The Tesseract flared and he apologized, soothing the Stone.

What could have given him a headache that was stronger than his own magic? He had been fine right up to the instant he—

He had been fine until he had left Jane.

The bond.

Loki cursed again, this time under his breath. This was an unexpected and unwelcome side effect. He hadn't known the bond would make it painful to be apart; that detail had been omitted from the tomes he'd studied as a young mage.

He would simply have to ignore the pain, as he had done during many battles and tests before. Loki closed his eyes for a moment, focusing through the headache, steeling himself for what had to be done, rehearsing what he must say. Figuratively speaking, he had already turned the hourglass over when the Tesseract became aware of his presence.

Loki took a steadying breath, then dissolved the incantation cloaking him from Heimdall's sight. He stood undisguised, Kai's simple black clothes having been exchanged for his own full battle gear. He tipped his face to the ceiling of the immense room, knowing that metal and concrete could not block the vision of the Gatekeeper.

"Heimdall! Do you see me now?" Loki's voice rang out, strong and cutting. "Kindly inform the Allfather and Thor that Loki _Laufeyson_ is alive, and I've found the Tesseract. Odin Allfather may not care about me, but he can't afford to ignore a threat to the Space Stone, can he?

"And, Heimdall—" Again Loki paused to will away the headache. He covered the rune bond mark with his left hand, comforted by the ridges and whorls of the unique pattern. _You must do this._

"Heimdall, if there is any compassion in your heart, if, indeed, you have a heart, please protect Jane Foster. Thor will soon discover that Jane and I are sealed by an infinity bond." Loki listened to the words and marveled that they were true. "But it is my doing. Jane is not to blame—she's no threat to Asgard."

A deafening shriek split the air. The Tesseract's unrest had evidently reached the limits of SHIELD's tolerance. Already footfalls could be heard in the corridors. The outer doors were wrenched open; three guards stomped in and found nothing out of place; Loki had already transported outside the compound.

In the weak light of another desert dawn, Loki continued hastily, "I don't ask this for myself. I know there is no love lost between you and me. But Jane is a rare treasure. She possesses knowledge and understanding far beyond her species. For the good of the Nine Realms, she must be protected. I will—" his throat abruptly closed, and Loki swallowed hard, impatient with himself. "You are my witness, Heimdall. I will cast a spell to erase the bond from my memories. This is all I can do to shield her from our enemies, but the rune magic of the bond may be too strong."

Wincing at the pounding in his head, Loki flung his hands out, palms up. Green wisps of his magic gathered, snaking over his fingers and up his arms.

"Jane," he whispered. _Whiskey eyes...brilliant mind...rosy lips...stubborn will...satin skin...quick wit...velvet…_ "Kostr," he pronounced clearly. "Kostr tyna. Tyna." Tendrils of his power invaded his mind, taking from him his memories of the bond. "No," he protested, taken aback by the sudden deep sense of loss, but it was futile. Loki reached for his right wrist and found the skin smooth. "No…"

It was time to return to Thanos. "Heimdall! Tell Odin I _will_ wear a crown." Loki cloaked himself from the Gatekeeper's gaze once again. He would leave this pitiful Realm and not return until he was ready to conquer it. Then he would mold it into a kingdom worthy of himself, with the help of Midgard's best minds.

Loki searched for and found an open pathway to the Sanctuary. As he stepped through the fabric of space and time, he noted that he had a headache. _A simple painkilling spell will take care of it._

oooOOOooo

 _Day 141_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

A strange voice floated to her through a thick haze, arms like steel bands gripped her. Jane heard the words "safe" and "protect," but those words didn't match the pounding of her heart nor the crawling of her skin. She had to get away from her captor. Someone would come save her, she knew, but she couldn't quite recall who.

"Jane? Jane! Everything is all right. Wake up!"

The blackness receded with a rushing sound, and Jane screwed her eyes shut against the sunlight. Something shifted, and a blessed shadow fell over her face.

"Jane?"

With a herculean effort, Jane pried her eyelids open. A great golden lion's head swam into view, china blue eyes shining. Except lions don't have blue eyes.

Thor.

One hundred and forty-one days ago, she had watched a man die at the hands of a terrible monster sent by his jealous, murdering brother. Then she had witnessed his resurrection and transformation into some kind of god. Mere moments later, she had bidden farewell to him and watched him be sucked up into the heavens, returning to who knows what kind of chaos. His presence on Earth had validated her theories about bridges to other worlds, but the events of his visit nearly destroyed her; certainly they scarred her forever. She had subsisted in crippling terror for four long months, afraid for his life, afraid for her own. Through great effort and counseling, she had overcome this fear, had begun to reconstruct a life for herself.

Now he was back. He seemed whole and healthy. Relief poured through her veins, washing away the nagging worry she'd felt for him.

"Thor! Is it really you?"

He smiled at her, that blinding blessing. "Jane! Thank the Norns! Yes, it's me."

Why hadn't he returned earlier? Why hadn't he found a way to send her a message? Didn't he know she would be worried? Anger raised her hand; she slapped his face.

Startled, Thor nearly dropped her. Jane hadn't fully processed that he was holding her in his arms.

"Why did you strike me?"

"Your horrible brother tries to kill you, you go back to Asgard, then—nothing! What happened?"

Thor smiled at her again. "It's a long story, Jane. I'm just happy to see you again. I'm happy you're better."

"Put me down, please."

Thor shook his head. "Jane, you fainted when you saw me. I thought you were going to topple off the roof. I'll put you down on the ground."

Jane looked around the giant then to see that they were still on the roof of her lab. "Well, take me down then. I need to use the ladies' room."

"Ah. Yes, of course." Thor complied, handing Jane her belongings to hold before stepping off the roof.

Jane felt the drop to the ground like a ride in a fast elevator. Thor gingerly set her on her feet, keeping a hand on her back to steady her. She shrugged him off, unlocked the lab door, and slipped inside, not caring whether or not Thor followed. Jane made a beeline for the bathroom.

She attended to her most critical needs, then stared at herself while she washed her hand, careful not to wet her bandage. Bruised, shell-shocked eyes greeted her, and her hair was wild. Thor was back, and she looked like a bag lady. She grabbed her comb and got to work making herself presentable.

Jane mouthed the words to her reflection: _Thor is here_. How did she feel about that? She had longed for his return, but now she felt nothing. She was to be taken to the Joint Dark Energy Facility today. That was traumatic enough, without also having to deal with the sudden reappearance of the God of Thunder.

Several minutes later, Jane emerged from the bathroom. Thor sat on a dining chair, arms resting on the table, patiently waiting. His face lit up when she walked toward him, but his smile faltered a bit.

"Is something wrong, Jane Foster?"

She rummaged through her rucksack, making certain all her belongings had been brought off the roof. When she completed the task, she met Thor's eyes.

"You can just call me Jane, you know."

"You don't seem happy to see me."

Jane sighed. She didn't really want to push him away. "I'm sorry. I am happy to see you. It's just...complicated. I've been through a lot since the De—since you left. I don't want to talk about it yet."

Thor stood, pushing back the wooden chair. His light armor sparkled in the clear sunlight streaming in the windows. "As you wish. A jet is waiting for us on the outskirts of town, ready to take us to meet Erik Selvig."

"Where is the agent who was supposed to pick me up?"

"I believe Erik Selvig informed you this morning of an unusual situation at the fortress where the Tesseract is kept, did he not?"

Jane nodded.

"My arrival was part of that situation. I, of course, asked Erik Selvig about your safety, and he asked if I would like to personally escort you to the fortress."

"What was the other part of the situation?"

"I am afraid you'll have to speak to Erik Selvig about that."

"You can just call him Erik."

Jane fell silent as she worked through all the answers she'd like to have and all the faces she'd like to punch. Mutely, she picked up her bag and nodded when Thor asked if the two suitcases were all she needed to take. She followed him, locking the lab behind her.

It was a lovely mid-autumn day in Puente Antiguo. The sky was heartbreakingly blue, the light warm and golden. She had solved a major issue with the Tesseract project. Thor—Thor!—was back. But Jane felt numb. _Am I in shock?_

Isabel came out of her diner to meet them as they approached, carrying a white paper bag. She stopped several feet away and looked Thor up and down. "Well, if it isn't the mug smasher himself."

Thor grinned. "Hello, Lady Isabel. Yes, it is I. May I apologize once again for my ignorance of the social mores of your fine realm?"

Isabel flapped her hand at him in dismissal. "Eh, I'm only kidding. What brings you here?"

Jane just stared off in the distance, so Thor cleared his throat and answered, "I've come to escort Jane Foster to her temporary laboratory. Dr. Selvig needs her help."

"Yeah, I heard. So you're her ride?"

"No, we'll fly in an airplane."

"That's too bad. Might be fun."

Thor chuckled. Isabel held out the bag to Jane.

"This is for you, girlie. You can share it with the space hunk if you want. I'll miss you, okay?"

Jane stepped forward and hugged the older woman. "I'll miss you, too. Thank you for everything."

"How's the hand this morning?"

Jane looked at her bandaged hand in surprise. "I actually forgot about it. It doesn't really hurt anymore."

Isabel raised her eyebrows. "I must have done a better job patching you up than I thought I did. Take care of yourself."

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

Thor raised his hand in farewell and the two of them continued on their brief journey. Jane's steps faltered only once, when she realized she hadn't walked past Isabel's diner since the day she ran to the side of a broken Thor, since the day the Destroyer demolished Puente Antiguo. Thor noticed the slight stumble and immediately turned to catch her, but Jane sidestepped him. She did not want him to touch her right now.

Puente Antiguo was a tiny town; soon the gleaming lines of a small jet came into view beyond the broken-down buildings and abandoned houses. Jane wondered how an airplane could land without a runway, but she kept her curiosity to herself.

The aircraft sat next to the site where Asgard's Einstein-Rosen bridge had last been activated, the unusual loops and knots still visible. They boarded the jet. It was clearly a no-nonsense transport plane, not a luxury airliner. Two metals benches lined the inside of the fuselage with safety harnesses bolted down. Thor secured her luggage and then motioned for Jane to sit. She ungracefully plunked down in the space closest to the exit, set the bag from Isabel next to her, and fumbled with the harness. Thor continued to the cockpit, spoke to the uniformed woman in the pilot's seat, and soon the jets powered up.

Jane was thankful that Thor sat across from her rather than next to her, but then realized she'd either have to look at him or spend the flight rather obviously avoiding him. Perhaps the noise of the engines would be too loud for conversation.

The jet took off vertically, as a helicopter would. Well, that answered her question about a runway. Jane craned her neck to watch the land disappear through the windshield in the cockpit, then they were airborne. And it was surprisingly quiet. _Dang it._ She glanced at Thor out of the corner of her eye and found him watching her.

 _Grow up, Jane. Talk to him._ She sighed and turned to face him. "Um. Thank you for not letting me fall off the roof of my lab. That was very kind."

Thor raised his eyebrows. "You're...welcome? It certainly was the least I could do, after startling you so badly. You've had enough difficulty lately."

A comment he'd made tickled her memory. She cocked her head, frowned, and said, "I wonder how much you already know about what I've experienced. Did Erik talk to you about me?"

"No, he simply asked me to accompany Lieutenant Irving to escort you."

"Okay, well, earlier, you said you were glad I was better. You wouldn't say that unless you knew that I hadn't been well."

Thor glanced away.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. I went through hell after you left, Thor. I begged you to help me."

"I know you did…" he said quietly.

"And you didn't show. Fine. But you're here, now that I've pulled myself up by my bootstraps. So what got you to come back _now_?"

Thor ran one hand through his long, golden hair. The motion caused his unnaturally large biceps to ripple. A few months ago, Jane would have positively swooned over those muscles.

"You have been working on a project related to the Tesseract, have you not?"

Jane nodded.

"The Tesseract is quite important to Asgard. Heimdall alerted us that it was in danger of falling into the wrong hands. Odin decided this was worth sending me to investigate."

"I see. And I wasn't…?"

"Jane, it is not so simple as that. When I returned to Asgard, I was immediately thrown into a battle with Loki. The Bifrost was destroyed. I could not travel by usual means—I still cannot. In order to send me to Earth, Odin had to use a great deal of dark matter and his own energy. This trip was very costly to Odin personally."

Somewhat humbled, Jane lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You don't need to apologize, Jane. You couldn't have known. I hated that I could not return, that I could not even send a message to you. I frequently asked Heimdall to check on you, however. I knew you were having some sort of difficulty following the events of my visit. For that I apologize to you."

Jane looked at him again and shrugged. "It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It probably doesn't happen to you Asgardians, but sometimes when humans have been through a shocking situation, our brains can't properly process the experience."

Thor shook his head. "Jane...I wish I had been here. But—forgive me, I don't understand. I defeated the Destroyer."

"Yeah. I know. Crazy, huh? But I guess the trauma of the Destroyer pulverizing Puente Antiguo and seeing you die stuck with me. Can we, um, talk about something else now?"

"Of course. I do have another question. The last while, Heimdall has often had trouble seeing you. Has anything out of the ordinary been happening?"

Jane snorted. "Thor, my entire life is out of the ordinary for a human being. But, no, nothing weirder than usual has been happening. In fact, I've been growing healthier and stronger. I've been able to resume work. Until Erik announced that I was being forced to work at the SHIELD prison, I was doing really well."

Thor frowned. "Perhaps this is related to your work with the Tesseract."

"Yeah, maybe. Listen, Thor, you said what happened when you returned to Asgard was a long story. We've got some time now. Would you please tell me what happened?"

 _Please say you killed Loki. Please. I need to know he's not a threat anymore._

It was Thor's turn to look away. "It took some time to piece together the chain of events. It was Loki who let the Frost Giants into the Vault during my Coronation, which led to our visit to Jotunheim, which led to my banishment."

"Had he always been jealous of you?"

Thor looked at his boot-clad feet. "It seems so. It's become apparent to me that those who live in the sun have very little idea what it feels like to be in someone's shadow. I did not realize that he felt so slighted. I was painfully ignorant of a great many truths about Loki."

"So you were banished, then Loki visited and told you that your father was dead. But that was…?"

Thor nodded. "A lie. Odin was not dead, though he had fallen into the Odinsleep. Loki was temporarily king of Asgard, and he had concocted quite a plan, which he did not want me to disrupt. Thus, when the Warriors Three and Sif came for me, he sent the Destroyer to keep us from returning to Asgard."

"What was his plan?"

"He had determined to win Odin's favor by exterminating our oldest enemies, the Frost Giants of Jotunheim. He invited Laufey, their king, to murder Odin while he slept. However, Loki's true intention was to kill Laufey as he attempted to assassinate Odin."

"Did he succeed?"

"Yes. Loki killed Laufey. That act alone wasn't entirely unwelcome. Laufey was a tyrant who threatened the peace of the Nine Realms. However, Loki's actions put Odin in great danger and put Asgard at risk of another war.

"When I arrived, Heimdall was near death. Loki had used a Jotun weapon to freeze him. I found my family in Odin's bedchamber, Laufey's body on the floor. Loki calmly announced he was going to destroy Jotunheim. He focused the Bifrost on Jotunheim, then froze the controls so that the energy from the bridge would build and build."

Thinking of her recent research, Jane said, "Eventually creating a nova."

"A what?"

"The planet would explode."

"Yes. And while the Jotnar have not traditionally been our friends, I could not let Loki massacre an entire race. We fought terribly. He even told me he would—"

"What?"

Thor shook his head, but kept his eyes resolutely on his boots. It occurred to Jane that she hadn't needed to be so concerned about looking at Thor, since he wouldn't look at her. "He said many things to taunt me."

Jane was riveted by Thor's story now. "So what happened?"

"I could not stop the Bifrost. So I took Mjolnir and broke the Bridge. That disrupted the beam trained on Jotunheim, but it created a terrible explosion. Loki and I were both thrown to the edge of the Bridge. I caught Loki and Odin caught me."

"Odin?"

"Yes, he had awakened while we fought."

"I see. So Odin pulled you from the edge of the Bridge."

"He pulled me up, yes. But Loki...Loki let go."

Jane hoped that meant Loki was dead. But then Thor raised his eyes to hers. The anguish in them shamed her. "What do you mean that he let go?"

"He fell into the Void. I tried to hold onto him, but he released his grip."

"What is the Void?"

"The Void is the empty space between Realms."

"So, is Loki…is Loki dead?"

Thor hesitated for a moment. "We haven't seen him since that day. It's hard to say what happened to him."

The two sat silent, each lost in thought. Jane finally shifted in her seat.

"To be honest—and I know this sounds horrible—I'm relieved, Thor. I've come a long way in my recovery in a short time, but I still occasionally have panic attacks. Nearly all of my remaining anxiety stems from the possibility that Loki will unleash some fresh horror on the Earth. It's comforting to know that he is likely dead."

The God of Thunder stared at the white bag next to Jane. A pang of regret struck her.

"You know what? I should have kept my mouth shut. Loki represents to me the worst period of my life, my worst fears, my lowest low. But he's still your little brother. So I apologize."

Thor nodded, but still didn't meet her eyes.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 141_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

"Runt. You've returned." The hooded figure moved swiftly to stand in front of Loki.

Loki inclined his head in acknowledgement and allowed his gaze to wander around the forsaken rock these strange creatures inhabited. He had disdained the scrubby brown desert, but there had also been sunsets of impossibly saturated color, surprisingly patterned lizards, and flora which impressively survived the harsh conditions. This so-called Sanctuary was black, bare, and ugly. Like their souls, perhaps? In any case, he had not missed it.

"Where is the Tesseract?" The Other's voice caused the faint aching in his head to amplify.

"The Tesseract is safe for the time being. I will be happy to explain to you and to Master." Loki reminded himself to keep his eyes lowered. There was no need to provoke his "allies."

"Your explanation had better satisfy Master. Or you'll be mine for more training."

Again Loki merely nodded.

Soon he stood before the Mad Titan, waiting with bowed head to be spoken to.

"Loki of...where are you from again?" The booming voice crowded into his ears.

"Master, I am born of Jotunheim and reared in Asgard."

"That's right. You're an imposter, aren't you?"

Loki didn't mind enduring pain if it served to further his purposes. But he had learned on his first stay at the Sanctuary that the Other was very creative and could create torture that felt like the marrow was being torn from his bones. Even Loki could swallow his pride and at least feign submission in order to avoid unnecessary pain.

So he stifled the impulse to attack, kept his gaze averted and replied evenly, "I am an imposter if you say that I am, Master."

The monster's laughter echoed off the jagged rocks.

"You have not brought me the Tesseract, No-One's-Son."

"I have not, Master," Loki agreed.

"I'm feeling generous. I'll give you one chance to explain why you failed in your mission before I kill you. You may look at me while you speak."

Loki raised his eyes to the hulking purple being, floating above the surface of the craggy rock in some sort of throne. "Thank you, Master. If you please, I changed strategy mid-mission as I learned more about the nature of the Tesseract. It is currently housed in an easily penetrated Midgardian facility. I have successfully influenced both mortals who study the Tesseract. I understand what must be done to manipulate its power, and I can advise on the formation of the army best suited for an invasion of Midgard. My recommendation is to leave the Tesseract where it is until we are ready to attack. Otherwise, we'll alert the mortals and they will prepare defenses."

He neglected to mention that he had alerted Asgard that day. But he hadn't been able to resist baiting his false family.

Thanos hummed. "How can mortal defenses stand against our forces?"

"They cannot prevail, Master, but they can be terribly annoying."

Here the Other spoke. "I must agree, Master, with the runt. Humans are surprisingly resourceful."

Loki risked speaking again. "If you prefer, I can retrieve the Tesseract right now."

"No. Your explanation is satisfactory."

Loki breathed a bit easier.

"But," Thanos began, "I would like to know about these two mortals studying the Tesseract. What are their names?"

"Erik Selvig and Jane Foster, Master."

"Ah, yes, Jane Foster is the one who interests me. Our colleague here"—he gestured to the Other—"reported that you seemed particularly invested in her, that you seemed to protect her."

Loki chuckled. "Master, she was important during my time on Midgard. Unbeknownst to her, she taught me a great deal about the Tesseract. I plan on using her again. But invested in her? Protecting her? No, Jane Foster was but a tool to further my mission."

Thanos studied Loki for an interminable moment. "The Other said you didn't want him to kill her."

"If it pleases you, Master, what I said was that killing her would delay the mission. She was my best source of information."

"You are a liesmith, though. Test him." Thanos waved two fingers, and the Other grasped the neck of Loki's tunic and yanked him backwards.

The foul stench that always accompanied the Other choked Loki as the creature leaned in close. "I know what I saw in your eyes, No-One's-Son. You will pay for your lies."

He dragged Loki to a familiar stone table. "Lie down."

Loki complied, knowing that resistance would only prolong the agony. The Other shackled his hands and feet, then placed the moist, revolting fingers of his hand on Loki's head. Instantly, Loki's body stiffened with pain and disgust as the Other psychically pushed himself into his mind. It felt like rape, and Loki knew, having endured both torments on this rock.

Thanos' thunderous voice reached them. "Well?"

"I sense nothing, Master, but he is an accomplished liar. I must dig deeper."

The agony rolled through his whole body, whiting out his mind and curling his fingers. He strained against the restraints, feeling blood run down his right arm.

An eternity later, the Other withdrew, leaving Loki exhausted and whimpering.

"He speaks the truth, Master. Jane Foster is merely a means to an end. She is nothing."


	15. Chapter 14

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc….

* * *

 _Day 141_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

Brown, as far as the eye could see. Dark brown, light brown, darker brown...oh, there was a smudge of darkest green. If she tilted her head just so, Jane could see the desert landscape through the windshield of the jet. It looked pretty much like the area around Puente Antiguo, though in New Mexico they at least had some red clay to relieve the monotony of brown, brown, brown.

Sighing, Jane closed her eyes and let her head fall back, absorbing the heavy vibration from the engines.

"I miss seeing a more colorful land, too."

Jane smiled, but kept her eyes shut. "How did you know that's what my sigh meant?"

"I remember how it felt to be banished to the barren desert, how I longed for the gardens and forests of Asgard. Your sigh sounded like mine did then."

She hadn't expected Thor to be so insightful, and she raised her head to look at him. "I do miss the green and the trees from home. But the best places for astronomy are the least populated areas, which are usually like Puente Antiguo."

"You would love Asgard, then. Even though my exile was for a very short time, I have a much greater appreciation for the beauty of my home."

"Yeah? What's your favorite part?" Jane was happy to talk about lighter topics.

"Hmm. I think it's the forest to the north and the west of the royal city. It's wonderful land for hunting and adventuring: giant trees, luxurious flowers, and all sorts of plants. The branches and leaves of the trees are so abundant that it keeps the forest floor cool even on the hottest days."

Thor's eyes shone with pride, and Jane couldn't help but smile in return. She was glad now that they could converse.

"That sounds amazing, though if the forest canopy is that dense, I wouldn't be able to see the stars at night."

"No, you're right. For stargazing, you'd want to travel farther north, out of the forest, to the Gullfjellet."

"The what?"

"Gullfjellet. Gold Mountains. There is a wide plateau—no trees—with a small lake. It's ideal for studying the skies, even without special glasses and tools. The lake is so still and the sky so clear that you can see the stars reflected perfectly in it every night."

"I would absolutely love that place! You surprise me. I didn't think you had much interest in astronomy."

Thor's brow creased and his eyes clouded. "I don't, to be honest. Loki took me there once. It was one of _his_ favorite places."

Their light-hearted interlude was effectively shattered. Jane quietly said, "I see," and turned her attention to picking at her bandage.

Thor cleared his throat, and Jane glanced up at him. "Perhaps you don't remember, but I once told you that you and my brother had much in common."

Jane shook her head no, but Thor continued, "Please, Jane. I'm afraid that Loki has—had—become dangerous. But we had centuries together before I ever saw that side of him. He was always mischievous, always a trickster, but not truly malicious. There was so much more to him than what happened at the end. He loved learning, loved studying the stars. It seemed to calm him. That's all I meant when I said you were alike. I never—"

Jane waved him off. "I get it, Thor. It's okay. Thanks."

" _...I feel peace when I'm with you…"_

"Pardon me?"

Thor shrugged. "I didn't say anything."

The pilot called over her shoulder, "Ten minutes to touchdown. Secure yourselves and all cargo."

Thor checked his harness, though Jane doubted that he needed to. Would a plane crash really hurt him? He met her eyes again.

"Erik Selvig will not be able to meet you when you arrive. He wanted to take you to the Tesseract immediately, but the son of Coul—"

"It's Coulson, Thor."

He nodded. " _Coulson_ insists that you must first be briefly examined by their guards."

oooOOOooo

"Where is Erik—Dr. Selvig? When can I see him?" Jane trailed behind an agent, but the dark-suited clone gave no indication that he'd heard her question. He strode down the artificially-lit corridor. Jane jogged to catch up, then poked him in the arm.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!"

The agent—what was his name?—halted and turned his impassive gaze on her. (Did SHIELD teach them how to do that at the Thug Academy? "How to Stare at Someone with Soulless Eyes 101.")

"Yes, Dr. Foster?"

"I want to see Dr. Selvig."

The man consulted his phone, then shook his head. "You don't have a meeting scheduled with Dr. Selvig. Please follow me. Your quarters are just ahead."

He continued about ten more feet down the hall, then stopped in front of a door just like all the other military-issue doors in the facility, differentiated only by the numbers posted beside them.

Malone. That was his name. Jane mentally set her jaw and tried again. She'd already had enough of being ordered around in just the few hours she had been at the SHIELD facility.

"Look, Agent Malone. I didn't come here because I thought it would be fun to be treated like a prisoner. Dr. Selvig begged me to come. He needs my help ASAP."

Agent Malone faced her, again with that carefully composed face. "Dr. Foster. My orders were to show you to your quarters. I will convey your request to Agent Coulson. You do not have security clearance for anything else." He swiped a card, then opened the door to her room.

"You'll find a packet of information on your desk. Someone will come get you in a couple of hours for your medical evaluation."

Jane stubbornly stayed in the corridor. "I want—"

Malone turned on his heel and walked away. "Goodbye for now, Dr. Foster," he called over his shoulder.

She bit off a curse and stormed into the room, slamming the door behind her. So far, SHIELD had been every bit as accommodating as she had imagined. That was to say, not at all.

Agents had escorted her off the jet and subjected her to a thorough security check behind menacing steel doors. Her laptop was scanned and returned to her; her phone was confiscated and a receipt issued. A two-hour orientation followed, in which she was force-fed the basic security protocols of the Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility—JDEF for short.

She had repeatedly asked for Erik, but was simply told that Dr. Selvig wasn't available. At no point did anyone give her choices or ask her opinion. It was plain that she was expected to meekly obey. Jane wasn't stupid. She understood that the stakes were high at JDEF. The future of the human race might be in danger, and security needed to be tight. But these faceless, emotionless agents with their unyielding procedures made her uneasy.

She looked around her home away from home. It was basically an efficiency apartment: kitchenette, closet, table, desk, phone, dresser, bed, bathroom. Plain, but adequate for her needs.

Her suitcases waited on the far side of the bed, and, as promised, a large manila envelope sat on the desk. Jane dumped the contents and found a map, some other forms, a photo ID/key card, and a schedule for the rest of the day. Medical evaluation, debriefing, dinner, free time… "Briefly examined"—yeah, right.

Jane flopped on the bed, then wrinkled her nose as she caught a whiff of herself. If she had a medical check-up coming up, she'd better shower. She was just reaching for the handle of the shower faucet when a knock at her door stopped her. She groaned. That hadn't been fifteen minutes, let alone two hours. She checked the peephole. Erik!

Jane threw open the door and pulled her older colleague inside the room. He had bags under his eyes and wrinkled clothing.

"Jane. I'm so glad to see you."

She was unhappy with Erik for dragging her into this whole SHIELD thing. But he was also the closest thing to a parent she had left, so she hugged him tightly.

Jane stepped back. "You look like death warmed over. What was going on? You wrote that there was 'a situation.' Why haven't they let me see you?"

Erik threw up his hands in mock surrender. "Slow down, Jane! It's the Tesseract. Early this morning, around dawn, it suddenly threw off several spikes of radiation. Alarms went off, everyone ran around like crazy. I found no explanation for the spikes. Then about an hour later, boom! Thor appeared outside the compound."

"Thor told me Heimdall saw some kind of threat."

"Yes. You can imagine the uproar his entrance created. After SHIELD finished huffing and puffing, I was allowed to see him. His story confirmed our theory that the Tesseract's behavior isn't random. It's _behaving_ , responding to something."

"Responding to what? What did Heimdall see?"

"That's...unclear." Erik's attention was distracted. "What's this?" he asked, and pointed to her left hand.

"Eh. I cut myself."

"Looks serious."

"Don't worry about it."

Erik shrugged. "Anyway, I came to get you. Grab your stuff and come with me."

"To the Tesseract? Now?" Jane's heart pounded. "I'm supposed to see the doctor in a while."

"I'd say if that cut isn't serious, then screw seeing the doctor. Let's go."

She followed Erik through a maze of fluorescent hallways. Her unease grew with every step. Finally, Erik swiped his card through the last security point, and Jane stepped into a vast concrete and metal arena.

An impressive bank of flashing, beeping equipment stood at one end, complete with data techs and lab assistants monitoring screens and printing readouts. In the middle of the room was a spidery silver contraption, a blue cube nestled in the middle.

She quickly scanned the rest of the space, noting the intricate system of catwalks overhead. Movement and a flash of color caught her eye. "Who's up there?"

"Ah, that's Agent Barton. He's...watching us."

"Oh. I thought I saw Thor's armor."

"You did. He's watching Agent Barton."

Unnerved, Jane glanced up again. Erik took her elbow and led her further into the room.

"Meet the Tesseract."

Her feet were rooted to the floor. "I'm not sure—should I really—?"

Erik laughed. "Jane? Is that you? Are you nervous?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I am, actually."

"Aren't you Jane Foster? The girl who was expelled after breaking into her school at night to use the telescope? The woman who risked life and limb to get readings inside a vortex? _That_ Jane Foster?"

"Well, this is a huge deal," Jane defended herself. She slowly walked around the cradle, marveling at being so close to such an ancient, powerful artifact. Oddly, she felt herself relax, and she grinned. "It's gorgeous."

And it was. Shades of blue—cerulean, sky, cobalt, sapphire—swirled and glided around the cube. The intense, shifting colors reminded her of a nebula...and something else she couldn't quite grasp to recall.

Jane stepped closer, reaching her bandaged hand toward the cube.

"Don't touch it with bare hands, Jane. Remember Johann Schmidt?"

"Oh, sorry, I should have said something. I wasn't going to touch it. I wanted to gauge the strength of the force field around it."

"There's no measurable force field around it."

Jane frowned. "Then what do I feel?" She slowly reached out again and felt a distinct pulling sensation. Jane kept her hand where it was and looked at Erik.

"There. It feels like a magnet."

But Erik was staring at the cube.

"Erik?"

"I've never seen it do that before."

Jane turned back to the Tesseract. It had grown incandescent, the tendrils of energy churning rapidly, wisps of blue light escaping beyond the rigid bounds of the cube. She could swear it radiated—delight? Mesmerized, Jane leaned closer. She thought she heard a whisper.

" _You are a vibrant, tenacious, brilliant woman."_

A second later, a painfully loud alarm dumped a lifetime's worth of adrenaline in Jane's bloodstream. Before she could blink, two figures hit the ground in front of her. One, dressed in black, had an arrow drawn at her head. The other, in silver and red, shielded her.

Agents dressed in combat gear stormed into the lab. Erik, already on the telephone, waved his free hand frantically. "Stand down! Stand down! It was a false alarm."

The archer didn't blink, didn't break eye contact with Jane. But he spoke to Thor.

"Step aside, Thor. I have to take her into custody."

"Do you wish to challenge me?"

"No, I don't. But I will. Look, I'm not gonna hurt her, and picking a fight with me won't win you any diplomatic points."

Thor begrudgingly allowed the man, whom Jane assumed was Agent Barton, to herd her out of the lab. Both Erik and Thor followed right behind. With the two of them adamantly vouching for her, she was only "lightly" interrogated by Agent Coulson himself. Coulson released her when SHIELD's own scientists eventually confirmed that no dangerous radiation had been emitted.

"How are we going to handle this, Dr. Selvig?" Coulson asked the senior scientist. "Should we send Dr. Foster home?"

"Oh, no, that would be a mistake," Erik said. "The Tesseract is a semi-sentient artifact. It feels, perhaps thinks. We've encountered some difficulties the last week. I believe that Dr. Foster can help us."

"How so, Dr. Selvig?"

"I think the Tesseract likes Jane."

oooOOOooo

Jane sat at the small table in her room, picking at her food. After Agent Coulson had concluded his questioning, he commented on her haggard appearance ( _thanks, Phil!_ ) and offered to have dinner brought to her quarters. Jane knew he was probably buttering her up, but she still accepted gratefully. After this absolutely crazy day, she was exhausted, and she couldn't go back to the lab this evening, anyway. Erik was recalibrating the sensors monitoring the Tesseract so that her presence wouldn't cause a national security alert each day.

She was supposed to see the doctor first thing in the morning, then she could join Erik in the lab. Coulson had explained that since working with the Tesseract carried a significant risk of exposure to radiation, SHIELD's doctors would periodically evaluate her health while she was at JDEF. They needed baseline readings for comparison.

She stretched and groaned. Stargazing all night had taken a heavier toll than she had anticipated. Jane knew she wasn't eighteen anymore, but she wasn't eighty, either, and she hadn't expected the tender skin and sore muscles all over her body. That bed was looking very attractive, but first she really needed a hot shower.

In the bathroom, Jane cranked on the water then unwrapped her dressing. It wouldn't hurt to let the cut breathe overnight. She carefully unwrapped the last loop of gauze so she didn't pull open any scabs, but the bandage fell away easily. Jane stared at her injured hand, scrambling to make sense of what she was seeing.

Her hand was healed.

The cut was closed up and a scar had formed, as though the accident had happened a long time ago and not just yesterday. It _had_ been yesterday, hadn't it? It seemed so long ago and yet…

Jane's heart pounded. The scar looked odd, too. It was vaguely triangular and in the middle of her wrist, not at the base of her thumb, where the actual cut had been. At least that's what she remembered. Had the PTSD affected her memory?

She sat on the closed lid of the toilet and stared at her arm, her head swimming. There had to be a rational explanation. She knew the Asgardians had some kind of healing stones. Maybe Thor had used one when she fainted, and it had healed her hand. Maybe this was something the Tesseract had done.

" _You will be mine…"_

What would the doctor think? She wasn't going to become SHIELD's test subject.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 152_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

"Did I hear you right? Or did my roommate put something funny in those Halloween brownies last night?"

For all Darcy's effervescent ridiculousness, Jane felt grounded talking to her. Darcy was good old, predictably unpredictable Darcy. A week and a half of begging, and finally SHIELD had allowed her to make one phone call from the secure line.

"I don't know about the brownies. But Thor is back. And hey—you can't say anything to anyone, get it?"

Jane glanced at Agent Malone, standing grim sentry next to her. He nodded his approval of her warning to Darcy.

"Yeah. Wow. I'm just—okay. This is big. Where has he been all this time?"

"Um, things got complicated when he returned to Asgard. He couldn't get back here for a while."

 _The bad news is that their Einstein-Rosen Bridge was destroyed. The good news is that Loki fell into the pit of outer space. We shouldn't be hearing from him again._

"That super sucks. But yay! that Thor's back. Happy for you, Jane. I get to be your maid of honor, right?"

"Whoa! Um, no. Thor and I, we're not—not anything right now."

"What are you talking about? What happened? What's wrong with him?"

 _Nothing is wrong with him. He's gorgeous, strong, kind, sincere, brave..._

"Nothing. I don't know. It's complicated, okay?"

 _...and I feel like I've had a shot of Novocaine in the heart. I desperately wanted Thor to come back and now that he's here, I feel...sisterly toward him._

"Complicated? He's a freaking hot specimen of man flesh, Jane. You are a straight woman with a pulse. What's complicated about that?"

 _He keeps gazing at me like a lovesick puppy. It's getting harder to avoid him. Last night I'm pretty sure he was going to kiss me, but I just said, "Good night," and patted him on the arm._

"Um. We're different _species_ , for one thing, Darcy!"

"Ehh. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to."

Then, in a typical lightning-fast change of subject, Darcy asked, "What are all those clicks I hear?"

"This is a secured phone line. You're hearing...I don't know...the security stuff they do to the phone line to make it secure."

"Wow. Security stuff? You really are a genius, huh? So what's it like being in the fortress of SHIELD?"

Jane shot another glance at Agent Malone. He looked like he was auditioning to guard Buckingham Palace.

"I can't really talk about that, Darcy."

"Come on! Just gimme something."

Jane rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. If I say anything I'm not supposed to say, I won't be able to call you again and you might be in trouble, too. I had to get special permission to tell you Thor was back."

"Oh, all right. Well, you go save the world, boss-lady. I've got a class soon. Are you going to be back in Puente Antiguo before Thanksgiving?"

"I'd better be."

"Sweet! Say hi to the hot god for me!"

"I will. Bye."

Jane handed the phone to the stone-faced agent assigned to eavesdrop on their conversation. "I hope that was fun for you."

Malone simply took the phone from her.

oooOOOooo

Heading back to the main lab, Jane thought about Darcy's questions. What was it like at JDEF? The first couple of days had been stressful with all the security screenings and orientations. The medical evaluation had been no big deal, however. The doctor drew her blood and performed a radiation scan. Distinguishing marks were cataloged, including the scar on Jane's left wrist. Jane said she cut herself on a broken mug about four weeks ago. The doctor was satisfied with the explanation.

Jane had explained her solar cell idea to Erik the second day she was at JDEF, and he agreed that it was the best shot they had at using the energy from the Tesseract. She had spent the next few days in a different lab, modifying a photodiode to receive gamma radiation instead of solar rays. It had been surprisingly easy.

Testing the gamma diode, as they called it, was more difficult. Jane hypothesized that an electrical charge would stimulate the Tesseract into producing gamma rays. Erik and Thor—who was the natural choice for working with electricity—labored for several hours to test this idea, with no success. Finally, Erik asked Jane to try.

Feeling foolish, Jane cautiously approached the cube. It responded to her as it had the first time, writhing and agitating. She held her breath for a few seconds, but no alarm sounded.

"Hello, um, I'm Jane. Maybe you already know that." _I can't believe I'm having an awkward social interaction with an ancient artifact._ "Uh, anyway, we're trying to do an experiment on you. Nothing bad, okay? We can help lots of people if we can figure out how to use all that energy you like to give off."

She turned back to Erik, eyebrows raised. He nodded encouragingly, so she continued.

"Thor is going to send a little electricity your way. Could you, you know, give us some gamma rays?"

The experiment worked beautifully on the very next try. Jane was thrilled when Erik confirmed that the gamma diode produced usable power, but she thought it was a fluke. The next week proved her wrong. Over and over, the Tesseract responded easily to Jane, as though it wanted to please her. She found, in turn, that she was developing an affection for it, too.

Jane felt like she belonged near the Tesseract. It reminded her of something, or someone. She occasionally remembered fragments of old conversations, or maybe they were dreams. Like the bizarre healing of her hand, this feeling of familiarity was too strange to risk mentioning to anyone.

SHIELD modified her security permissions to allow her greater access to the lab, but only 18 hours a day. That was their way of trying to make sure she slept and ate. Work-wise, JDEF was a great place to be. She had about all the scientific equipment she could ever want at her disposal. Someone cooked for her, cleaned for her, and even did her laundry.

The downside was the loss of freedom and the constant observation. The facility was full of corridors with locked doors. She could unlock only a few of those doors, and only during certain hours of the day. Cameras recorded everything she said and did outside her private quarters. It wasn't an environment in which she felt comfortable.

Tension between herself and Thor added to her discomfort. He was always a gentleman, allowing her to define the boundaries of their relationship. She treated him as a friend, though it was obvious that he wished for more. She often caught him gazing at her. Two or three times he'd asked if she would eat dinner in his quarters, but she always used the excuse of needing to work. Last night he'd walked her back to her room. He'd gently held her arm and leaned toward her, but she just couldn't let him kiss her.

Jane reached the laboratory. She swiped her key card and opened the door. Erik looked up from the terminal over which he was hunched.

"You're back. Good. How's Darcy?"

"Pissed at me for not telling her I'd be away, relieved that I'm alive. Probably a bit under the influence from some funny brownies last night."

Erik chuckled. "Sounds like Darcy. Are you ready?"

"Yes. Let's go."

Director Fury had requested that they focus on the defensive and offensive capabilities of the Tesseract. As part of that, Jane and Erik were testing whether solar energy could stimulate gamma ray production. Jane secretly evaluated every experiment through the lens of using the Tesseract to open wormholes for travel.

Jane approached the cube and waited for Erik's nod. "Hey, sweetie," Jane began. "It's me again." The Tesseract responded as always, with what Jane thought of as its "happy dance."

" _I see the stars in your eyes…"_

Suddenly, she was enveloped in the clean scent of a pine forest. Jane blinked and shook her head, and it was gone. Impossible. There wasn't a pine tree for miles and miles.

"Jane?" Erik's voice snapped her back to reality.

"Yeah, just, uh, thinking through what I need to say." Rubbing her left hand with her right, Jane addressed the Tesseract again. "We're going to uncover the windows in here and see what sunlight does for you. Thanks for your cooperation."

oooOOOooo

 _What is happening to me?_

Jane hurried through the hallways as fast as she could without attracting unwanted attention. She needed to get to her room.

Once again, the Tesseract had responded well to her. She and Erik were able to confirm that solar energy could be used to produce gamma rays. Those could then be used to produce exponentially more watts of electricity than the solar rays alone could have. Erik was happy, Coulson was happy, and rumor had it that even Fury didn't look so sour.

But her left hand burned. It had begun when she smelled that weird pine scent, and had steadily worsened until she could barely pay attention to the experiment. Jane wracked her brain. Had she inadvertently touched the Tesseract? Perhaps she had developed some sort of infection at the site of her cut.

Jane threw her door open, ripped off her jacket, and yanked her sleeve up.

The skin of her wrist and forearm was bright pink and hot to the touch. But what Jane stared at was the scar. No longer formless, it was now a clearly defined triangle with a series of knots and whorls.

Her knees gave way and she fell back against the door, then slid to the floor. She should report this. This had to be from the Tesseract. What other explanation was there?

A moment later, though, a wave of some fiercely protective emotion crashed over her. She couldn't tell anyone. She couldn't betray...what? whom?

" _You will be mine and mine alone…"_

 _What is happening to me?_

oooOOOooo

 _Day 160_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

The sound of an argument carried out of the lab. Jane recognized the tones of Thor and Erik's voices. She hesitated before swiping her key card. The lab should be empty this hour—she was supposed to be at her weekly debriefing with Agent Malone, but had forgotten an important page of notes.

Jane's brow furrowed in puzzlement. They had been working together for nearly three weeks, and she thought everything was going well. She still chafed at the constant monitoring, but she was pleased with their progress. They now focused on creating a more secure housing for the Tesseract to guard against extreme spikes of radiation.

The Tesseract no longer exhibited the erratic behavior that had concerned them all. Whatever the threat had been, it appeared to be dormant. What could the men be arguing about?

She quietly swiped her key card and very slowly opened the door a couple of inches, just wide enough to listen.

Erik was talking. "You promised me you would not share that information."

"I promised I would _wait_ , and I have, out of courtesy to your relationship to Jane and out of a desire to strengthen diplomatic relations between this realm and Asgard." Thor's voice rumbled, sounding like he was tightly leashing his temper.

 _What had they not told her? Something about the Tesseract? Did they know something about her mark?_

"What good will it do to tell Jane? You weren't here, Thor. You didn't see for yourself what a bad condition she was on after the attack of the Destroyer. It took months for her to recovery." Erik's English degraded and his accent strengthened when he was stressed.

"You are correct, Erik Selvig. But we have been here together for nineteen days. I have learned that Jane Foster is troubled when she is given no choice over matters that affect her. I cannot continue to conceal the truth from her."

Jane's heart raced and her hands shook. _Was it something from her medical evaluation? Something showed up in her blood test?_

"And how will you do that? You've already _concealed the truth_ for nearly three weeks. You won't get any credit for telling her now."

"I don't know how I will tell her. But Jane is extremely intelligent. She will eventually realize the truth. It will be obvious why I am here on Earth. And it will be worse that we never told her."

 _Something about why Thor is here...Erik said I was in bad shape after the Destroyer…What haven't they told me?!_

Erik spoke: "Thor, be reasonable. She's happy to think he's dead. If he never shows up here again, we've done her no harm."

 _No._

Now Thor, sounding tired: "Loki stood in this place and commanded Heimdall to inform Odin that he had found the Tesseract."

Jane's throat abruptly closed off and she gasped for air, trying to stay quiet enough to hear the rest of what Thor had to say.

"He declared that he would wear a crown, and then disappeared. There is very little chance that Loki doesn't intend to seize the Space Stone."

 _No._

 _Please no._

* * *

A/N: Thanks, dristi5683, for having my back! :)


	16. Chapter 15

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thank you, dristi5683! Thanks to those who followed, favorited, and reviewed! Your reviews make me smile and want to keep writing.

* * *

 _Day 160_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

Water, hot enough to redden her skin, snaked over her bare back and dripped from the ends of her hair. Jane barely felt it, lost as she was in her thoughts.

All things considered, she had handled the afternoon's bombshell well. She had closed the lab door—shakily, but quietly—and headed to the nearest restroom. Locked in a stall, she told herself that she could not freak out.

And so, five minutes and several deep breathing exercises later, she headed to meet Agent Malone. After the meeting, Jane hadn't returned to the main lab, unwilling to risk encountering either Erik or Thor. She stuck a Post-It note on Erik's door: _I want to review my notes on absorption rate tests—having dinner in room. See you tomorrow —J._

The food sat congealing on its tray. Jane had spent most of the evening trying to corral the wild-eyed thoughts galloping around her brain. She finally dragged herself to the shower, to see if that would help her focus.

 _Should I confront Erik and Thor? Maybe I should wait for one of them to 'fess up. But what if they never do? I need more information from Thor about Loki so we can focus our work. But what do I do about Thor? Why do I feel so...platonic...towards him? I'm going to have to talk to him. But how can we have a serious talk when he's hiding a big secret from me?_

She slowly glided her soapy fingers over the mark on her wrist.

 _Of course, I might be keeping a pretty big secret from him._

Jane wondered if she was just overreacting because of the stress she'd been under. She didn't know for sure that there was any special significance to the pattern on her skin. Its appearance kept changing, which was normal for a healing wound. But that didn't explain why tracing the swirls and knots slowed her heart rate and infused her with a feeling of security.

By the time she toweled off, she was much calmer and her thoughts were clearer. She would stay on the Tesseract project. Prior to overhearing Erik and Thor's conversation, she had viewed the project as important, but largely theoretical. Now, she understood that the work they were doing was practical and necessary. Loki was a real and imminent threat.

The thought of tangling with Thor's brother again froze her heart. She couldn't deny that. But she also couldn't deny that she was relieved to finally _know_ what had goaded Odin to action. Her PTSD had been caused, in large part, by terrifying unknowns. Was Thor dead or alive? Would Loki try to finish what he'd started? Was today the day that death would rain down from the bare skies? The stress of the uncertainty had caused her mind to turn on her and produce crippling nightmares.

What was that saying? "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't." Loki was a dangerous being who had tried to murder his own brother and exterminate an entire race to secure the throne of Asgard. But he was at least something of a known quantity—if Thor would be honest and share what he knew about Loki.

She knew that Erik believed he was acting in her best interests, but he had allowed her to work blind for three weeks. And Thor...she didn't really know Thor at all, did she? She needed someone on her side. Someone like Darcy Lewis.

Hours later, though, she still stared at the opposite wall. The glowing LED clock had been laid on its face some time ago. She didn't need a constant reminder that the night was draining away. All of her logical arguments notwithstanding, the dull weight of anxiety still thumped in her belly.

The twin mattress dips as another person's weight joins hers. A hand circles her waist and rests flat on her abdomen, gently pulling her back against an unmistakably male body.

Her tense muscles loosen, and her eyes droop. "I've been waiting for you," she murmurs. "Where have you been?"

"Shhh...be still, Jane. I'm here now."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 161_

 _The Sanctuary: Chitauri Space_

Another reptilian soldier charged, but Loki easily side-stepped and pivoted to drive a dagger under its ribs. The lizard-like form instantly vanished, and the black-haired man growled in frustration.

"The armor has to extend all the way down the back." He turned to face the hooded creature across the bare rock.

"How many humans will defend themselves with daggers, runt?"

"If my dagger can find a vulnerability, then Midgardian weapons could also. And the mortals might have help."

"From _whom_ might the mortals have help?" The Other hissed at Loki.

Loki stood his ground. "Asgard is always watching the Tesseract."

"You said the Bifrost was destroyed."

"Odin has his ways. We should be prepared."

He waited, fist clenched around his dagger, to see how his ally would respond.

"Very well, No-One's-Son." The malevolent figure withdrew.

Loki waited a moment to ensure he was alone, then sheathed the knife and wrapped his left hand around his right wrist. His head had ached constantly since he had returned from Midgard. Perhaps the Tesseract had affected him more than he had expected. Oddly, the only thing that ever helped relieve the distracting pain was massaging his wrist.

He suspected the Tesseract was also behind the dreams that haunted him on the rare occasions he was allowed to sleep. When he awoke, he never remembered anything beyond vague impressions. The dreams weren't unpleasant. On the contrary, they filled him with a sense of rightness, of belonging. That in itself was unsettling. He was certain they could not come from his dark, twisted inner world.

Whatever the cause, he could not allow Thanos to detect these weaknesses.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 161_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

Jane shifted the pile of notebooks to one arm, swiped her key card, and pushed the lab door open with her elbow. Erik was already there, seated at one of the work stations, his back to her. Jane took a deep breath before heading in.

 _Game face on, woman._

"Good morning, Erik."

He looked up from the printout he was studying and smiled—a little too widely, Jane thought.

"Good morning, Jane. How was your evening?"

 _I spent most of it staring at a wall. Alone._

She set her load on the empty work surface next to his and inconspicuously tugged her flannel cuffs down to cover her wrists. "Very productive, thanks. I got a lot figured out."

"Glad to hear it." Erik returned his attention to the report in his hands. "Any conclusions?"

"Several. The most pertinent is that I need Darcy Lewis here."

 _I want an ally._

Erik looked up at her again. "We have several lab techs available. I could assign one to you."

"Yes, but I want Darcy."

"Our research is very sensitive."

Jane crossed her arms. "I know SHIELD investigated Darcy when Thor showed up the first time. She must have checked out, or Malone wouldn't have let me call her last week."

"But she has classes."

"Coulson could call the dean. And, look, SHIELD forced me to come here while I was still recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder. That was pretty crappy, you know. I think I've done really well, but I want a friend."

"I'm your—"

"A _girl_ friend, Erik."

The older scientist sighed. "I'll see what I can do." He bowed his head and squinted a bit to continue reading.

"Thanks." Jane looked around the enormous room. "Where's Thor?"

Once more Erik's head came up. He resembled a bobblehead doll. His finger pointed toward the sky.

Jane followed his gesture to the catwalks above them. "Again?"

"He says he can protect us better from up there."

She shrugged and sat next to Erik. She slipped a scrunchie off her wrist and pulled her hair into a loose bun, then sorted through her stack of notebooks. Selecting one, she opened it and began thumbing through the pages, skimming the handwritten notes.

Absently, she tugged strands of her hair out of the messy hairdo and twirled them around the fingers of her left hand. _Tug, tug, twirl._

Jane reached for another notebook and opened it over the first. A third notebook went beside it, a blank page ready. _Tug, tug, twirl._

Erik glanced at her. "Are you going to be ready this afternoon for the tests on the sample metals?"

"Yes. I'm just reviewing the last of the absorption rate data."

"You said you were going to do that last night."

 _I lied. It's an epidemic around here._

"I just want to check it over one more time." Jane made a few notations, then nudged Erik. "So, what's the verdict? Is Thor going to let us test Mjolnir?"

"I don't know."

"It would be helpful for our research."

"It might help if _you_ asked him. You rarely speak to him. I think he's disappointed."

Jane assiduously made a few more notations before Erik nudged _her_.

"I'd personally appreciate it if you would speak with him, be less cool toward him. He did come back to Earth to protect you—us."

She leaned toward Erik, keeping her voice pitched low.

"Protect us from what, exactly? The Tesseract hasn't shown any odd readings since I got here."

Erik glanced back to the papers in his hand. "Ah, from whatever might come along, I guess."

"Do you ever suspect that Thor isn't telling us everything he knows?"

He turned sharply to her. "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean—why is he really here? What did Heimdall really see? What made Odin decide it was worth it to send Thor to Earth? I have a hard time believing that it was some vague vision. Johann Schmidt threatened the entire human race using the Tesseract, and Odin didn't lift a finger."

Erik remained silent, ostensibly reviewing the data before him.

Jane continued, "Has he said anything to you, given you any more clues?"

 _What are you going to do, Erik? Now's your chance._

The older man cleared his throat. "I see your point. I think we need to trust Odin's judgement on this one, though. I, for one, don't feel qualified to argue with him. Do you?"

 _You didn't answer my question._

"I guess you're right."

Erik's shoulders relaxed a fraction. Jane's tightened.

She resumed scanning and making notes. _Tug, tug, twirl. Tug, tug, twirl._ Maybe she should ask Thor about testing Mjolnir. The Tesseract had been housed on Asgard for centuries; the Aesir had to have a way of containing its power. Could Mjolnir deflect or absorb the energy? _Tug, tug, twirl._ Thor had told her it was forged in the heart of a dying star. Not much chance of reproducing that, but at the very least, she would know if Mjolnir could be used as defense in case of an attack. _Tug, tug, twirl._

 _Just go talk to him, Jane. Get it over with. Tug, tug, twirl._

A large hand encircled her left wrist, only a thin layer of cotton between it and her scar. "Stop."

Some protective instinct kicked into overdrive. She swiftly rose and twisted out of the unwelcome grasp, defensively crossing her arms against her chest.

Thor stood in front of her, hands raised palm-up in the universal symbol of "I mean you no harm."

Jane's central nervous system hadn't processed the message yet, though, and she snapped, "Don't touch me like that!"

Thor wisely took one step back from her before answering. "I apologize, Jane. I wasn't trying to startle you. You must have been deeper in thought than I realized."

She remained in the same stance, warily eyeing Thor.

"Jane?" Erik's voice broke into the tense moment. "I don't think Thor meant to upset you."

"Then why did you grab my arm?"

"Again, I apologize. You looked so intense, and you were torturing your beautiful hair. I meant only to tease you, to lighten the mood."

Jane uncrossed her arms and patted her hair. It was indeed frizzy all around her hairline. She caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection off a computer screen and grimaced.

"I do that sometimes when I'm thinking."

"You should plait your hair, as the Aesir do when preparing for battle. It keeps me from pulling my hair out in the stress of the moment."

"Maybe I should," she said, by way of concession.

"I would be pleased to show you how," Thor said.

Jane glanced at Erik, who raised his eyebrows and subtly nodded. She was uncomfortable with the idea of letting Thor touch her. But she knew she had to talk to him sometime, and maybe this was the right opportunity. And it was just hair, right?

"Um, okay. I guess I could take a break. I've done about all I can do before we begin the next tests."

Thor beamed and Erik grinned and Jane's stomach twisted.

oooOOOooo

Jane sat in her dining chair, wishing the Earth would open up and swallow her. Thor had gently—lovingly, even—combed the tangles out of her hair before beginning to weave tiny braids back from her temples. She was afraid this had been a mistake. They were alone in her room and the atmosphere had grown decidedly intimate. He had pulled her head back to rest against his abdomen to give him greater leverage as he plaited. She felt the rise and fall of every breath he took, felt the warmth and strength of his large body. Under other circumstances, she had no doubt where this grooming session would lead.

He slowly drew the comb through her hair, preparing for another braid. She closed her eyes, waiting for the rhythmic pull and tug on her scalp. Instead, Thor ran his hand down her temple, her cheekbone, her jawline, down to her throat.

Jane's eyes flew open and she choked, "Thor!" just as he whispered her name. She grabbed his hand.

"Jane, I missed you so much. I longed only to return to you. I thought you also waited for my return."

There was no easy way out now. She inhaled deeply and steeled herself.

"I did wait for your return, Thor. But—"

Her sentence was cut off as Thor abruptly knelt in front of her and clasped her hands. "But what, Jane? I'm here now, with you."

" _I'm real while we're together...I'm as real as you need me to be."_

Jane frowned and shook her head.

"What is it, Jane?"

"Nothing. I thought…" She shook her head again. "Look, Thor, we need to talk. You are an amazing, amazing person...god...alien...whatever. You are brave, strong, responsible, kind. And certainly you're handsome."

"Go on," Thor said with a smile.

She managed a small smile in return. "But, I don't know, I don't feel the same as I did before."

Thor's smile melted.

Jane continued, feeling that it was now or never. "I know it wasn't your fault, but I think the nightmares I had after you left changed me somehow."

"Is there...is there someone else, Jane? Has another man captured your heart?"

"No!" Jane responded hastily, eager to reassure him, at least in this. "I'm not interested in anyone at all. I feel...numb, I guess, inside."

"Perhaps this is a temporary condition, then. As you continue to heal from your terrible experience, you might find yourself thawing towards me."

His hope-filled eyes gazed at her. She caved a little. "Perhaps. We'll have to see." Jane dared to squeeze his hand. "But, I'd really love to be your friend in the meantime."

He grimaced, then gave her a small smile. "If you need a friend, I'll be your friend."

"Thanks," she said, meaning it.

"And as your friend, may I finish dressing your hair for battle?"

"Please do."

Thor returned to his task, though he was careful not to pull her too close or allow his hand to linger too long on her skin. Jane was grateful that he was respecting her wishes, though she also felt a bit sad for both of them.

"Thor?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you allow us to test Mjolnir against the Tesseract?"

He continued braiding, though he didn't answer. Jane sat patiently.

Finally, he said, "I don't know if that is a wise course of action."

"What are you most concerned about?"

"The Tesseract has tremendous power. Mjolnir has tremendous power. In an attack, I would not hesitate to use Mjolnir. But I fear the results might be too dangerous for a mere test."

Jane chose not to press the issue. Instead, she changed tack completely. "Thor, we need to know more about what Heimdall actually saw here on that day."

This time, Thor's hands faltered for a moment. When he spoke, though, his voice was even. "I've told you what I was told."

 _Et tu, Thor?_

"Okay, but isn't there a way to get a message to Heimdall or to Odin? Can't Heimdall see us? We need more information to construct the best possible defense. Think about it. If Heimdall saw a massive meteor headed this way, we would need a very different type of defense than if he saw, oh, say,"—Jane deliberately kept her voice light, as if she were speaking off the cuff—"Loki. Ow!"

She yelped as her hair was suddenly yanked.

"I'm so sorry, Jane. My hand slipped. Please forgive me."

"It's okay."

 _Come on, Thor!_

The Asgardian fastened the end of the braid and released her hair. He motioned to the office chair. "May I?"

Jane nodded and he pulled it over to the table and sat.

"I can try asking Heimdall to give us more information. That doesn't mean that we will receive any. You need to understand that."

She nodded again. Thor ducked his head until Jane made eye contact with him. "What if...what if we discover that it was some intelligent being that Heimdall saw and not a mindless threat like a meteor or a solar flare? What would you do then?"

"Then we would need to learn all that we could about this _intelligent being_ in order to know how best to defend ourselves. What does he—or she—want from Earth? What are his strengths and weaknesses? It would be great if we had access to someone who already has some experience with...this being. Right now, we're just groping around in the dark. If Asgard has more information and is withholding it, then Odin isn't really interested in protecting the Earth."

Seconds ticked by. Jane held the eye contact, trying to mentally force Thor to tell her the truth. He looked away first.

"You make it sound so simple, Jane. What if giving us more information caused more problems than it solved?"

"You make it sound so complicated. We need to know as much as possible, no matter how unpleasant, in order to have a shot at defending ourselves."

Thor nodded slowly. _Come on!_ Then he said, "I'll see what I can do."

Jane sighed. She needed an ally. "We should get back to the lab." She stood, and ran her fingers lightly over the braids Thor had created. "Wow. These braids feel complicated, like weaving. How did you learn to do that?"

Thor began, "We all learned to dress each other's hair—," then noticed that Jane stood frozen, her eyes round. "Jane? Are you all right?"

She shook her head. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just had a super strong feeling of déjà vu."

"What?"

She shook her head again. "You know what? It doesn't matter. Let's go, okay?"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 169_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

Jane groped for the handle of the toilet, but her gut spasmed again before she could flush. She moaned and coughed weakly, then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Oh, yeah. This was what had been missing during these fun happy weeks in SHIELD-land. Supernatural shenanigans, betrayal, and now puke. _Lovely._

It had been just over a week since she discovered that Loki was the reason Thor had returned to Earth. It had been just over a week since she realized that Erik and Thor were lying to her. She felt she had handled the extra stress well, so this stomach upset was probably viral.

Jane drew in a breath and tested the response of her tummy. The worst was probably over, but she was definitely tired and shaky. The funky mark on her wrist wasn't happy, though. It burned and itched.

She cleaned herself up, making sure to run cold water over the scar. It would be nice if that thing would finish healing.

Maybe this illness was a blessing in disguise. She, Erik, and their team had been working every day, twelve to sixteen hours a day. They had identified a man-made metal, adamantium, as the most practical solution for long-term containment of the Tesseract's radiation. Their gamma diodes were working beautifully. Jane didn't understand how any of that would stop Loki if he returned for the Tesseract, but she hadn't figured out a way to broach the subject.

She could use a day off. It would be a relief not to have to watch Erik and Thor continue their charade, not to have to play the game back. Jane shuffled to her in-house phone to call Erik. She explained she had a stomach bug, and wanted to sleep for a while.

Jane crawled back into bed, surprised at how exhausted she felt. Her daytime life was tense, but she had been sleeping well at night. She chalked it up to sleeping in a real bed for the first time in months. But now, despite the fact that she'd slept a solid seven hours last night, she couldn't keep her eyes open. As had become her habit, she fell asleep stroking the mysterious scar.

She had no idea what time it was when a knock at the door awakened her. Jane frowned and mumbled, "Go away...sleeping."

But the knock came again, and Jane loudly grumbled while rousing herself. She pulled on her long green dressing gown and stumbled to the door. "This had better be good."

A look through the peephole didn't improve her mood. Someone—one of the clones, no doubt—held a tray of soda and crackers. She hadn't asked for any food yet, she had asked to sleep.

But then the bearer of the tray backed up so Jane could see her face. That wasn't a clone!

"Open up, boss lady!"


	17. Chapter 16

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks to dristi5683! I love working with you. Thanks to all who reviewed, followed, and favorited.

* * *

 _Day 169_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

Jane yanked the door open.

"Darcy!" she said. "Get in here."

The younger woman set the tray down and turned to face Jane, arms akimbo. "Jane Q. Foster, you've been holding out on me."

Jane rubbed her face. She wasn't awake enough to keep up with Darcy yet. "Q?"

"I don't remember your middle name. Do you even have one? Anyway? Agent Malone? Total. Hottie. Whew!" Darcy fanned herself. "That man can do a body cavity search on me anyday."

"Eww. I already threw up today. Don't make me do it again."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Hi, Jane! I'm going to hug you, so pretend it's not awkward."

"Are you sure you want to hug the sickie?"

Darcy waved her off. "Forget about it. I have the immune system of...of someone who has a really, really strong immune system."

"I'd actually love a hug." Jane embraced her former intern, grateful for the human contact.

Darcy stepped back, holding Jane at arm's length. "Let me look at you, woman. You've got a little more meat on your bones. Good for you!"

"Thanks. Isabel helped fatten me up." She pulled the office chair to the table. "Here, sit. I'm thrilled that you're here, but I hadn't heard anything since I asked Erik to get you for my assistant. What happened?"

Darcy swung the chair from side to side. "A few days ago, Nick Fury called the dean of students and explained that Planet Earth needed my help."

"Director Fury?"

"Yep. Impressive, huh? One of us is more important than we realized." Darcy lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Personally, I think it's me." She grinned.

"When did you get here?"

"A couple of hours ago."

"Did you get the full SHIELD welcome?"

"You mean the bait-and-switch thing they do? They told me I was going to a debriefing, but Malone didn't take his briefs off once. And trust me, I was watching."

"Are you for real with the 'Agent Malone' stuff?"

"Mm-hm. Blond hair, deep brown eyes? You hadn't noticed? What's wrong with you, woman? Someone deep freeze your lady parts?"

Jane chuckled. She had originally hired Darcy out of desperation. But the vivacious, slightly outrageous young woman had quickly grown on her. Darcy's political science education and her ability to read people came in handy surprisingly often. She encouraged Jane to do silly things like eat, sleep, and have fun once in a while. Certainly, she had gone above and beyond the call of duty while Jane was at her lowest point this summer.

Darcy crossed her arms. "Okay, boss lady, 'fess up. I came because Fury said you asked for me, and because I was dying to see what was inside Castle Greyskull here. But I'm one hundred percent unqualified to be here. You don't need me to be your lab assistant. What do you really want?"

Jane sobered. "Let me get dressed and make some coffee first. We'll need fortification."

Darcy raised her eyebrows. "Is coffee strong enough? And wait—you drink coffee even when you're sick?"

"Um, first, no drinking alcohol while working on the Tesseract project, and second, I feel fine now. Must have been been something I ate."

Darcy stood up. "You go make yourself presentable. I'll make some joe."

A few minutes later, the two women settled back at the tiny table. Darcy pushed a scrap of paper toward Jane. On it was written _Is it safe to talk here? Sure your room isn't bugged?_

Jane nodded. "This guy I know installed a secret app on my laptop to detect bugs and stuff like that. SHIELD missed it when they scanned my laptop, 'cause he's _that_ good."

"Sweet," said Darcy. "So...shoot."

Keeping her eyes on her coffee, Jane began. "We met less than a year ago, but we've been through a lot together. I think I can trust you, but I need to know for sure."

Uncharacteristically solemnly, Darcy replied, "I'm loyal to you, Jane, not to Erik or Thor, and definitely not to SHIELD. I've got your back, no matter what."

"Thank you. Some deeply weird stuff has been happening to me. I can't tell anyone else, or I'll be turned into SHIELD's next experiment. I need you to cover for me."

"I can do that."

"I also need you to watch me and intervene if this is some kind of _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_ scenario."

"Wow. You do trust me."

Jane drew a deep breath. "Where to begin?"

oooOOOooo

"Can I see it?" Darcy leaned forward expectantly, unfazed by Jane's story.

The astrophysicist hesitated, then slowly pushed up her flannel sleeve and laid her arm on the table.

"Wow. Cool design. It reminds me of an infinity knot." She reached toward the mark.

"Don't touch it," Jane said, tight-lipped. "Ever. I might have to punch you."

Darcy's eyes widened. "Good to know. So, what else?"

Jane thought for a bit. "I occasionally have these déjà vu-type moments. I'm not sure how to explain them. They're like fully-developed memories which can't possibly be real."

The younger woman took a long pull of her coffee. "Some people might say that you are remembering a past life, or sensing an alternate reality."

"That sounds crazy."

"Um, hello, kettle? This is the pot. Yeah, you're black. Aren't you the woman who believed in an absolutely sci-fi theory about travel through wormholes?"

Jane just shook her head at Darcy. "Yes, my theories have been beyond common human ideas and experiences. But they are based on the physical world, on real stuff we just haven't found yet. There has to be an explanation for this mark, for these false memories I'm having."

Darcy shrugged. "O—kay, boss lady."

"And, one more thing you need to know. The real reason Thor is back is that Loki showed up here, in this building, and made threats about wreaking havoc."

Jane wondered if Darcy's eyebrows would ever come down.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 172_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

"Twenty-one November, two thousand eleven. Variation seventeen: perforated adamantium shield. Test one: electrical charge using Mjolnir." Erik looked up from the handheld voice recorder. "Is everyone in position?"

Four voices answered affirmatively. Barton and Thor perched high above the lab floor, Darcy and Jane stood beside Erik in front of the workstations.

The Tesseract was positioned in the middle of the room, covered by what looked like a six-foot-tall metal colander. This was Erik's "perforated shield."

Darcy whispered to Jane, "It looks like we're getting ready to drain the water off the world's largest batch of pasta."

"Yeah, it kind of does."

"Are we okay back here?"

"Nothing has gotten through that glass yet, has it?"

A safety shield of reinforced glass had been positioned in front of them.

"Thor," Eric called out, "are you ready?"

"I am," resounded the deep voice.

"On the count of three. One, two, three—"

Time abruptly slowed to a crawl. Jane's vision and hearing sharpened as though the world came into focus for the first time ever. Her heart thudded only once every few seconds. She felt the pulse in her left wrist, where the skin had become painfully sensitive.

A bolt of lightning shot from Mjolnir toward the Tesseract. Jane easily tracked its progress. In the heartbeat before the charge found its target, the Tesseract released a pale blue wave. Jane turned her head to watch it expand until it formed a translucent wall a few feet in front of her. Instinctively, she pulled Erik and Darcy down. The bolt hit the artifact, which responded with a darker wave of radiation. The radiation shot upward and outward, the adamantium dome doing nothing to inhibit it. Jane opened her mouth to warn Thor, but before she could produce any sound, Thor snatched Hawkeye and dove toward the others.

A dull boom reverberated throughout the space. Sparks flew everywhere. Thor and Barton hit the ground and rolled, while Erik and Darcy covered their heads. Alarms wailed slowly. Jane sat up and stared wide-eyed at the scene. Barton groaned, and even Thor was slow to get up.

The first SHIELD foot soldiers streamed into the room, heads bobbing back and forth as they assessed the situation.

"What was that?" Darcy yelled. "What just happened?"

The sound of Darcy's voice broke Jane's trance. A rush of dizziness swept over her. When it passed, she stood and turned in a circle, taking in the aftermath. Barton held his side with one hand and wiped blood off his face with the other, but no one appeared to be seriously injured. The glass shield and the bank of workstations were not damaged. The other side of the cavernous space, however, looked like a bomb had gone off. The walls and floor were scorched and parts of the catwalk were twisted and dangling.

Heedless of the commotion around her, Jane made a beeline for the artifact. It seemed to be untouched, but she needed to make sure. Just as she reached the metal dome over the glowing cube, Thor laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

In a low voice, Thor said, "Are you in pain, Jane Foster?"

Jane looked up sharply to find deep concern written on the Asgardian's face. He pointed. Her right hand was squeezing her left wrist. Immediately she released her grip and pushed his hand off her shoulder.

"Yes, I'm fine. I wasn't hurt."

"Then tell me, what did you see?"

"I saw the same thing we all saw. An experiment gone wrong."

Thor shook his head, pinning her into place with his cerulean eyes. "No, Jane, you saw what I saw. The Tesseract released some kind of protective force field. You tried to warn me."

She forced herself to hold his gaze. "A force field? What are you talking about? I just had a feeling that the perforated shield wouldn't contain the radiation. I should have insisted on smaller-scale tests first."

"You pulled Erik and Darcy to the ground before even I reacted."

Jane countered, "Why didn't you use Mjolnir to defend yourself?"

"I told you, that would be too dangerous. The whole building would likely have been destroyed. It was wiser to take shelter behind the protective field."

Jane took a step toward the Tesseract, but Thor again blocked her path. "I want to know why you could see something none of the other Midgardians saw."

This was dangerous territory. Jane shrugged. "And _I_ told _you_ , I was already anticipating problems. This isn't my first round of experiments. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure the Tesseract didn't sustain any damage."

oooOOOooo

"How bad is it?" Jane faced Erik across a conference table. Their small group, along with Malone, had assembled to debrief the incident. Someone had brought a tray of sandwiches—Thor was already on his third round—and a medical team hovered, insisting on checking each of them. Erik had refused their services, which relieved Jane and allowed her to say no as well. Darcy, on the other hand, had happily submitted to an assessment by the cute medic, while Barton held an icepack to his bruised ribs, a bandage on one eyebrow.

Erik sighed. "We should know in a couple of hours. SHIELD has engineers in there assessing the structural integrity of the walls and ceiling."

Arriving at the table, Darcy repeated her question from earlier. "What the—what happened in there? The other experiments were totally fine."

Erik shook his head. "Adamantium is more accessible than vibranium, but is still expensive and time-consuming to produce. Our earlier experiments led us to believe that perhaps the shield surrounding the Tesseract did not have to be solid adamantium, that we could use less of the metal to create a sort of colander, as Dr. Foster calls it, and still contain the radiation. We were wrong."

Clearing his throat, Malone drew their attention. "I get that. Not every experiment can be a success. You learn from your mistakes and move on. What I want to address is the unequal distribution of damage."

Erik frowned. "I don't follow, Agent Malone."

Malone continued, "You may not have been in a frame of mind to notice, but there is a clear line of demarcation between the damaged and undamaged parts of the lab. The area where you three"—here he motioned to Erik, Jane, and Darcy—were standing has no damage. The scorch marks on the floor, walls, and ceiling end a few feet in front of your location. The safety shield is untouched. Does anyone have an explanation for this?"

Jane glanced up to catch Thor watching her. She pointedly looked away, but she did speak. "Isn't the safety shield _supposed_ to protect the people behind it?"

"It isn't rated to withstand a blast of that strength, Dr. Foster."

"Well, can we see the footage from the experiment?"

Malone shook his head. "We can't. Those cameras were destroyed in the incident."

Jane did her best to look disappointed.

Erik rubbed his forehead and grimaced. "I have no solid ideas. Perhaps...perhaps the combined electrical fields from the bank of workstations somehow kept the radiation at bay."

Malone snorted. "Yeah, I don't know if I buy that."

Thor cleared his throat. "We have evidence that the Tesseract is at least semi-sentient. Isn't it possible it was protecting someone?"

 _Shut up, Thor_ , Jane telegraphed. Darcy—for once—kept her mouth shut.

But he continued, "You have indicated a desire to explore the defensive capabilities of the Tesseract. I believe it gave us a sample of those today. We should investigate. Who was it protecting? Can we discern why? What makes the Tesseract decide who and what to defend? Can we build on that knowledge to produce a more dependable defense in case of attack?"

Jane saw a glimpse of brilliance in him in that moment, though his suggestions made her nervous. Then it dawned on her: his idea also gave _her_ leverage.

"That is insightful, Thor. I support these suggestions. I would also like to renew my request that we learn as much as possible about the specific threat that motivated Odin to send you to Earth. That could only help us tailor our defensive strategy."

She didn't miss the look that passed between Erik and Thor.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 173_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

Jane flushed the toilet, then counted to ten. When she made it to zero without vomiting, she gingerly hobbled to the sink and rinsed her mouth.

A loud knock sounded at her door. She jumped, then pulled on her dressing gown. A quick glance through the peephole, and Jane opened the door to admit Darcy.

"Hey! SHIELD's given us the all-clear to use—" She halted. "Jane, you look…"

"Just leave it, Darcy. I'll be ready in five minutes."

Jane returned to the bathroom and continued her ablutions. Darcy leaned against the doorframe.

"You've been sick for several days now."

"It's just a virus or some bug. I'll get over it." Jane brushed her hair into a ponytail.

"Then why aren't other people sick?"

"I'm able to do my work just fine during the day. It's fine. Drop it."

Never one to listen particularly well, Darcy moved further into the bathroom and hopped onto the vanity, blocking Jane's view of the mirror. The scientist ignored her former intern and calmly continued to brush her teeth.

"Listen...I've been wondering about something. I don't know about that weird mark on your wrist or those pseudo-memories you keep having. But the exhaustion and the puking every morning? Those can be symptoms of a much more ordinary human condition."

Jane froze, then glared at Darcy. Hastily, she spit and rinsed her mouth.

"That's impossible!"

Unruffled, Darcy persisted. "How long since Aunt Flo came to visit?"

" _Aunt Flo_? What are you, eighty years old? I'm not pregnant, Jane."

"How long? I know you lose track when you're busy with a project."

Jane rolled her eyes, tossed her toothbrush on the counter, and brushed past the other woman. Darcy waited a couple of minutes, then followed her. She sat in the office chair while Jane finished dressing.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. You and Thor are consenting adults. What's the big deal?"

Jane pulled on a long-sleeved t-shirt. "I'm not embarrassed, Darcy. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Thor and haven't done anything...at all."

Darcy gave her a sidelong glance, eyebrow cocked. "Well, someone else, then. Whatever. Just don't say it was Malone. You'll break my heart."

"No. It's not possible, Darce."

"Jane..." Darcy cajoled, clearly unconvinced.

"Let me spell it out for you. I'm practically a nun. I haven't slept with _any_ man for close to forever, okay? Not since my—since Donald. Are you happy now?"

A calm, strong voice promised, _"There are no men like me."_

To cover her sudden disorientation, she snatched her green silk robe off the bed and turned to stuff it into a drawer. The fabric slipped through her fingers

 _and suddenly she was waltzing around a sumptuously appointed bedchamber in a gorgeous green silk gown, held securely in the arms of a man in a richly decorated military uniform. He was tall, so tall that Jane couldn't see his face clearly..._

"Jane?" The office chair creaked as Darcy stood. Jane desperately searched for a distraction. She turned to meet Darcy.

"So where do you go when you disappear after lunch? Don't think I haven't noticed."

Darcy cocked her head at Jane. "I'm working on something. Trust me. Don't try to change the subject."

"All right. But _you_ have to trust me. I'm not pregnant."

"I guess it's a virus, then. But if you don't get better soon, we need to get you checked out. _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_ , remember?"

Jane nodded, still trying to regain her bearings.

Darcy elbowed her gently. "Hey, cheer up. It's not like there haven't been _any_ men since Donald. There was a hot kiss with a certain Asgardian a few months ago."

Once again, Darcy's charm worked, and Jane smiled in spite of herself.

"And let's not forget," the young woman continued, "tall, dark, and handsome dream dude."

Jane frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Darcy grinned. "Feeling a little shy, are we? A few weeks ago, I couldn't get you to shut up about the totally hot guy from your dream."

"You're messing with me, right?"

It was Darcy's turn to frown. "What? No, I'm not messing with you. You don't remember?

"I have no recollection of that conversation."

"Eh, maybe you were still too PTSD-ey to remember. You called me, gushing about this dream you had, about this mysterious man who said he would teach you to stop the Destroyer. And I told you about lucid dreaming and said that maybe your brain was ready to heal."

"I remember the part about lucid dreaming and stopping the Destroyer. But I don't remember anything about a man."

"Too bad. He sounded amazing. Long dark hair, super tall, built, black leather…Jane? Are you okay? Jane!"

The astrophysicist lay unconscious on the floor.

* * *

A/N: Props to the sitcom _Friends_ for the pot and kettle line.


	18. Chapter 17

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

A/N: Thanks to those who kindly reviewed and favorited/followed. This chapter took longer than usual to be ready, as real life needed a great deal of my attention in the last several weeks. I don't want to cheat my family, friends, and job. I value them too much. I also value you dear readers and I don't want to cheat you by posting crappy chapters. :)

Thanks as always to dristi5683. She's working on a new story you'll want to read!

* * *

 _Day 175_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

" _Get up, Jane."_

" _Who are you?"_

" _That isn't important. Get up, Jane."_

" _Did you destroy that—that thing? Is it gone?"_

" _It's gone for now. The next time it comes back, you will destroy it, Jane Foster."_

Some buried cache of memories had been resurrected; fragments of forgotten dreams haunted her. Jane wondered if this is how a person felt who had awoken from a coma: distracted, overwhelmed, struggling to assimilate what she had known with what she was finding out. Why had she suppressed these memories? What did they mean? Could she trust them?

" _I'm dreaming, aren't I?...You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen."_

 _And he is. It's unsettling. She is terribly attracted to him, but that seems dangerous. He has displayed too much power to be safe. Wasn't Lucifer said to be the most beautiful of the angels? Aren't moths fatally drawn to flames?_

" _I'm here to teach you to conquer the Destroyer."_

oooOOOooo

"More turkey, Erik?" Darcy stood holding the platter in both hands, looking expectantly at the scientist.

He waved his hands, as if in surrender. "No, thank you, I couldn't eat another bite. It was delicious, though."

Darcy wiggled her eyebrows in Thor's direction. "How about you? I roasted this bird myself, dude."

He chuckled and reached for the meat. "I believe I will have some more, thank you. Volstagg would be proud of me." Several slices of turkey joined the pool of gravy waiting on his plate.

"Jane? Would you like seconds?" There was no answer. Darcy discreetly nudged her. "More turkey?"

"Oh, uh, not for me, thanks."

Darcy continued around the table, flirting as she offered seconds to those who'd gathered to celebrate. "Save room for pie, Agent Cooper! Thanks, Agent Hendricks. Dr. Silverman! How's it going in the medical bay? You're supervising physician now, right? Congratulations!"

When it had become obvious they would be spending the holiday at the SHIELD facility, Darcy had concocted a plan. Some well-placed hints, a sprinkling of sweet talk, and voilà! JDEF had its first Thanksgiving dinner.

Darcy finished her rounds and sat down next to Jane, who was staring vacantly, lost in her thoughts. Again. She leaned over and spoke softly into the physicist's ear.

"Hey."

Jane jumped and glared at Darcy. "What?"

Lowering her voice even more, Darcy said, "Any chance you might act halfway normal? You're making it pretty hard to cover for you. People are getting curious. At least three agents are watching us right now."

Jane's eyes darted around the table. She tugged the sleeves of her oversized sweater further over her wrists.

Darcy continued, "Laugh like I've told a joke, then help me get the pies."

Jane shook her head, then pushed back from the table. "I need to go, uh, do...something."

Without taking her leave, Jane left the dining room. Several sets of eyes swung toward Darcy, who shrugged and laughed.

"Scientists, right?"

oooOOOooo

" _You hurt me."_

" _You wanted to run, but you needed to stay and face your fear."_

 _He frightens her. He frightens her, and he pisses her off. If he is here to teach her, he needs to learn a few things about teaching._

Jane stumbled briefly, then leaned against the wall of the corridor. She pulled in a few deep breaths before continuing on her way.

oooOOOooo

Erik watched Jane disappear, his brow furrowed. If she was headed for the lab, she'd be disappointed. The key card locks had been disabled so all personnel could attend the Thanksgiving meal.

Maybe it had been a bad idea to bring Jane to JDEF. A couple of weeks ago, he had thought that working on this project was doing her good; she had seemed more and more like the pre-Destroyer Jane. She distrusted SHIELD, but Erik had hoped that after the initial culture shock, Jane would recognize the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity the government agency offered.

His team had a staggering budget, state-of-the-art equipment, a well-trained pool of assistants and techs, and a great deal of freedom. Well, professional freedom, anyway. They had a green light to explore any theory or perform any experiment in the quest to understand the capabilities of the Tesseract. This arrangement came at the cost of personal privacy, of course. He had nothing to hide anyway.

But Jane wasn't flourishing as he had expected. She smiled and claimed to be just fine, but he had known Jane for too long to be fooled. He heard the forced note of cheer in her voice. He noticed the makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes. He knew she tried to hide her poor appetite by having dinner sent to her room. She was hiding something from him. Erik realized he wasn't on the moral high ground here, but he was protecting her from a relapse of PTSD.

Thor disagreed with him. The Asgardian had repeatedly asked him to tell Jane about Loki. He also had noticed Jane's odd behavior and suggested that she could have deduced the truth. Erik had dismissed the possibility. If Jane discovered he was withholding critical information, she would immediately confront him. She wouldn't quietly withdraw. Not the Jane Foster he knew.

oooOOOooo

She was almost there now. One more corner, one more corridor. Her vision clouded; another memory washed over her.

" _I owe you an apology. I regret my behavior."_

 _She gapes at him. He's apologizing? This mysterious man, this force of nature, humbling himself to her?_

" _I accept your apology. Thank you."_

 _She feels safe. How is that possible? How is that wise?_

" _Who are you?"_

 _...Kai…_

" _I'll keep you warm."_

 _...his delicious scent, his nearness…is this possible? Is this wise?_

Jane stood perfectly still, straining to remember. There was more, she knew there was more. Something...there.

" _Search for solar activity...compare it against the Tesseract's activity…_

" _Trust me, Jane."_

oooOOOooo

"Scientists, right?"

Thor looked up to see Jane's chair empty and the dining room door swing shut. He leaned toward Darcy.

"Darcy Lewis, where has Jane gone?"

Darcy shrugged again. "I'm not sure, um, but I think she said earlier that she had stuff in her room to go over."

Jane Foster was not well. He knew about the terrible affliction that had visited her after Loki sent the Destroyer; Erik Selvig had shared in greater detail than Jane had. Thor longed to comfort her, but she wasn't his to comfort. That was clear to him after their conversation a fortnight ago. She had been gentle in her rejection, but a rejection it had been. Still, they had promised to be friends, and friends looked after one another.

Thor turned to find Erik Selvig's eyes on him. He nodded, then rose from his chair.

oooOOOooo

" _I'm going to stop it before anyone gets killed."_

" _It's just a dream."_

" _I don't care."_

The metal doors of the lab finally loomed before her. Jane fumbled in her pockets for her key card and slid it through the reader, frowning when the doors failed to unlock. She squinted at her card, relieved to see she had swiped it backwards. But a second try produced the same result. The doors were locked.

" _Are you suggesting that the Tesseract and the Earth's sun are related to Thor's travels?"_

" _It can't be a coincidence."_

"Let me in, please. Please!" Jane wasn't sure to whom she was talking, but her eyes were dry, her vision blurry, and her bones ached. She had to get in that lab.

She laid her forehead on the cold steel and repeated, "Let me in. It's me."

The door softly _snicked_ open and Jane only just managed to catch herself from falling.

"Thanks," she called, before realizing the cavernous lab was dark and silent. Who had opened the door?

"Hello? Is someone there?" Suddenly nervous, Jane blinked into the darkness. A soft blue glow pulsed what seemed like a welcome from the middle of the room.

"I don't—I'm not sure if I—" Jane snapped her mouth closed, wondering whom she was answering. This was ridiculous. She pulled the door shut behind her and stood still, allowing her eyes to adjust. The blue glow grew stronger, washing the arena-like space with its cool light.

 _The automaton thuds to Earth. Kai stands guard, a towering angel of vengeance, all dark, sharp edges. She recites: "Algiz, Sowilo, Hagalaz, Thurisaz, Uruz." The steel Goliath crumples like a tin can, scattering debris._

 _She doesn't want to wake up yet._

" _Kai!"_

" _What do you need?"_

" _We've got to figure out what role the Tesseract plays in this drama so we can direct it."_

This was her time for asking her questions. Her wrist burned, the strange pattern like a brand. She rubbed the mark with her right hand, again finding herself oddly comforted by its ridges and whorls. Slowly, she approached the Tesseract. Her heart pounded, but it was from anticipation, not fear.

The colander-like shield had been replaced with the solid one made from the skin of the Destroyer, but still the light shone through. Jane laid her palm on the shield, feeling the ever-present pull. Impulsively, she unlatched the shield and uncovered the cube.

"Hi."

In response, the Tesseract flared and danced. Jane was reminded of a dog wriggling with joy at its owner's homecoming. She smiled at her own foolishness—who else would compare an ancient, deadly energy force to a common house pet? But she couldn't stifle the giggle that bubbled up, couldn't deny the affection she felt for the artifact. Was she crazy? She didn't know anymore; she hadn't been sure of her sanity for several months now.

Where and how should she begin? How long did she have before someone found her here? While Jane sorted out her thoughts, she absently twisted locks of her hair and stared at the intense, shifting colors in the cube.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered, "like my very own nebula." Another memory tickled the back of her brain. A nebula in miniature…

" _I see the stars in your eyes...they're gorgeous."_

Jane closed her eyes and cocked her head, patiently coaxing the memory to come closer, to crystallize. She reached for another lock of hair and froze, stunned by the sensation of returning remembrance. The day Thor caught her pulling her hair in this same way, he had plaited her hair, and she had experienced déjà vu so strongly it had frightened her.

" _These braids feel complicated, like weaving."_

She had said that to someone else before she had said it to Thor. Now she remembered that she had looked up into eyes that were marbled like a nebula. But whose eyes were those? And why did the mesmerizing swirling of the Tesseract look so much like those dream eyes?

Pushing up the loose sleeve of her sweater, Jane exposed the triangular brand on her left wrist. She studied the now-familiar series of knots before slowly extending her arm toward the cube. Jane whispered, "Do you know who gave me this? Did you invade my dreams? Did you do this to me?"

oooOOOooo

Thor hadn't found Jane in her private quarters, so he headed toward the lab. He knew the room was supposed to be off limits this afternoon, but he also knew that Jane Foster nearly always found a way to get what she wanted.

Fluorescent lights washed the sterile corridors in a half-hearted illumination. This was not the most attractive part of Midgard, this cold steel and concrete fortress, liberally decorated with plastic. He missed Asgard. He wished for the palace, with its rooms decorated in silk and priceless tapestries, majestic fireplaces constructed of honest wood and stone, and the presence of his parents: his mother's soothing comfort and even his father's taciturn judgements. He longed for the training grounds, where blood, sweat, and even tears often flowed, and where his closest friends could always be found.

Since Loki had fallen, the Warriors Three and Sif had been of great encouragement to him. Especially Sif. She was a fine warrior and a fine woman. Her perspective and insights were invaluable to him; he intended to appoint her as one of his primary advisers when he was crowned king. How he wished Sif could counsel him now on dealing with Jane Foster. He really hadn't any idea what to say or do when he found her.

He rounded the last corner and hesitated before accelerating into a sprint. Blue light, so bright it made him squint, beamed from every tiny space above, between, and under the lab doors. Shielding his eyes with one arm, he tore the lab door open. A column of blinding light shot from the unshielded Tesseract and the ceiling. At the base of the column stood a small figure with long brown hair.

oooOOOooo

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

He had been mistaken, he mused. He had called this place black, bare, and ugly. It was bare, to be sure, but it wasn't all black, and it wasn't all ugly, especially if you had forgotten the living gold of daylight. Deepest blues and purples undulated in the distance of space, cradling stars like diamonds against velvet.

Loki wished for sleep. His body was weary, his bones ached, but that wasn't going to be solved by a few hours of rest. No, what he longed for was the balm for his soul that was found in his dreams. He never recalled any faces or events from these dreams. That mattered not. For a blessed while, his broken spirit was mended, his restlessness stilled, his torn heart soothed. He was content. He was home. It was enough to give him strength to continue this doomed existence. Loki could not imagine what benevolent deity thought he deserved this respite, but he was embarrassingly grateful for it.

His eyelids had no sooner closed when a painfully garish light flashed through them. Scowling ferociously, he sat up. Who had dared disturb his rest? A heartbeat later, he sprang into a fighting crouch as his brain processed the significance of the sparking, pulsing ring. He would be ready for whoever or whatever came through that portal.

oooOOOooo

"Jane!" Thor flew across the lab and into the physicist, knocking her to the ground. Without checking on her welfare, he swung around and yanked the shield over the artifact. Light still suffused the large room, but the column had disappeared.

Thor turned back to Jane. She was pulling herself to a sitting position. He knelt down next to her.

"Are you all right? I'm sorry I hit you so hard. I was afraid—what were you doing? What was going on? Why are you here alone?"

Jane raised her hand to silence him. "I'm fine, just shaken up."

"Thor! Jane!" Erik shouted from the door.

"We're in here," said the Asgardian.

Several people ran toward them, but Thor kept his eyes on Jane.

Darcy's voice carried over the hubbub. "What the—oops! I mean what in tarnation happened here?"

Jane pulled her sweater into place, pushed her hair out of her eyes, and shook her head. "I don't know." She tried to stand up, but Thor placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Just wait. Don't get up yet."

Darcy knelt on the other side of her. She leaned in and whispered, "Are you really okay?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"How did you end up on the floor?"

"Thor shoved me."

Darcy whipped around. "Thor Odinson!"

That forced a pained chuckle from Jane. "Leave him alone, Darcy. He thought he was protecting me."

This time Thor came up for air. " _Thought?_ I was most definitely protecting you."

Two sets of sturdy shoes stepped into Jane's line of sight.

"Protecting her from what?"

"Hi, Agent Malone!" sang Darcy. To Jane, under her breath, "I'm telling you, he looks like Harvey from that new show, _Suits_."

Jane rolled her eyes. "When have I had time to watch television, Darcy?"

Erik interrupted, "What are you two going on about?"

"Suits!" chirped Darcy.

"Thor," Erik tried, "could you help us here? Dr. Foster and Ms. Lewis don't seem to be terribly communicative at the moment."

Thor remained kneeling, gaze fixed on Jane. "I pushed Jane to the ground because she was one second away from being transported through a wormhole."


	19. Chapter 18

All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc. Thanks to my beta, dristi5683!

* * *

 _Day 175_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

 _Whiskey eyes…_

Loki cradled his aching head. The scent of vanilla surrounded him—perhaps his sanity was slipping away. He gritted his teeth and willed this madness to resolve into something he could grasp. If he could see the end, he could be patient. Infinitely patient. This, though, felt like falling again, those endless moments when he was nothing and didn't know if he would ever be anything again.

A portal of some sort had opened long enough for him to see Jane Foster staring up, arm raised defensively. Then she had been shoved out of the way and the opening had closed. It had almost certainly been his not-brother who had collided with Jane. The silver and red gaudiness was hard to miss. He had gotten their attention; Odin _had_ found a way to send Thor to Midgard.

Was Thanos testing him? Was this a continuation of the "training" he'd endured? While his head felt like it would split open, this wasn't about physical pain. He had a brilliant plan, a perfect chess strategy, but someone had moved the pieces while he wasn't looking.

Because he didn't know why Jane's gaze matched the beautiful eyes in his dreams. And he didn't understand how it was possible that Jane bore his rune brand on her wrist. And he couldn't explain why the sight of Thor with that troublesome mortal—proof that his machinations had worked—made him feel not triumphant, but sickeningly jealous.

oooOOOooo

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

"So much for acting halfway normal, huh?" Jane slouched in the office chair, arms crossed defensively over her abdomen.

Darcy sighed. "It could have been worse." She kicked her shoes off and flopped on Jane's bed. "I'm not sure how, but it could have been worse."

Silence reigned for an uncharacteristically long while as both women were lost in their own thoughts.

"After you left the lab, Erik and Malone pulled me into a sidebar. Malone was freaked out that you're a super security risk. Thor and Erik stood up for you. And me, too, duh."

"What did they say?"

"Um, Thor was all, 'Jane Foster has worked tirelessly in defense of this realm, blah, blah, blah.' You know, all Shakespeare-y. And Erik was like, 'Hey, the Tesseract digs Jane. Jane loves space travel. The Tesseract was prob'ly just trying to make her happy.' And I said to Malone, 'Dude, your security sucks. Focus on that.' Then I winked at him so he would know I still think he's totally hot."

"So I'm not going to prison?"

"Nah. You just have to take some time off. They're going to send you back to Puente Antiguo tomorrow."

Jane snorted. "Not a problem. I want to get out of this place and never come back."

Darcy sighed again. "Yeah, about that. SHIELD's not ready to completely let you go yet. They'll grant you some leave for medical reasons, but you'll have to come back."

Jane muttered an indistinguishable oath.

The younger woman sat up. "Look, Jane..."

"What?"

"There's something else. SHIELD wants me to go back to Puente Antiguo with you—"

"Great!"

"—to spy on you."

This time the expletive was clearly enunciated.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 176_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

A knock at the door startled Jane and made her tender stomach jump unpleasantly.

She called, "G'way. My flight's not till one."

The unwelcome visitor knocked again, this time in the rhythm of "shave and a haircut…" Jane rolled her eyes and slowly trudged to the door. Darcy slipped in, her hands full.

"Good morning, Jane. First off, here you go." She handed Jane a can of ginger ale.

"I don't need—"

"Save it, sister. Take slow sips."

Jane made a face at her, but complied. She sat in a chair and watched Darcy carefully place two vacutainer tubes on the table. "What are those?"

Darcy sighed—she'd been doing that a lot lately, Jane noted—and sat down in the other chair. "There's something I didn't tell you yesterday."

"What?"

"You have to have a medical exam this morning before we can leave."

Jane's heart accelerated painfully as a wash of terror grabbed her chest. "No, I can't—the mark—what do I do?"

The younger woman reached across the small table and touched her hand. "Hey. Look at me. I got this. I got you. I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't want you freaking out all night."

"I'm not freaking out!"

Darcy simply raised one eyebrow.

Jane closed her eyes for a beat. "Okay. What are we going to do?"

"Think you still remember the stuff your ex taught you?"

"Yeah…"

oooOOOooo

"All right, Dr. Foster, your radiation scan was fine. I'll send these blood and urine samples for testing. If anything comes up, we'll contact you."

Jane nodded. "Thank you."

"Yes, thank you, Dr. Silverman. You're the _best_!" Darcy hugged the very short young man and whispered, "Thanks for letting me help. I won't tell if you won't tell."

Blushing, Dr. Silverman ducked his head. Jane thought it was a wonder he wasn't smothered by Darcy's, um, ample assets. "Anything to encourage interest in health care. If you need me to fill out one of those references for medical school, just let me know."

After a round of goodbyes, the two women headed to Jane's quarters. Jane glanced at Darcy. "Medical school? What in—"

Darcy cheerily cut her off, "Sure we can go shopping when we get back to Puente Antiguo! We might still get some Black Friday deals. Can't wait!"

Jane opened her mouth, then stopped when she caught Darcy's glare. Safely in Jane's room, Darcy sighed again. "We're almost out of here. Don't blow it now."

Jane meekly nodded. "I'm sorry. Thank you. I had no idea how I was going to pass the medical."

"I realized it was going to be a problem as soon as you showed me your scar."

Jane started toward the bathroom, then stopped and turned toward Darcy. "That's where you've been going after lunch. To the medical bay, to butter up the doctors."

Darcy grinned. "Yeah, but it was a pure stroke of luck that Dr. Silverman was promoted to chief medical officer this week. Dr. Brown wasn't nearly as _impressionable_. I told Silverman I'm considering pre-med and asked if he'd teach me some stuff. I practiced drawing blood on him a couple of days ago, so he was willing to let me try it on you. Since you and I have the same blood type, it'll take quite a bit of investigation before anyone figures anything out."

Jane continued into the bathroom and began putting her hair and makeup products into a bag. "Darcy, I don't care what any of your profs say. You're a genius."

"Hey, watch it, Foster!" She leaned against the doorframe.

"By the way, what did you do with my blood and other bodily fluids? I knew the plan, and I still couldn't follow the switch. Been practicing magic tricks?"

"I got the vials here, don't worry. I'll give them to you—"

A knock at the door cut her off. She peered out the peephole. "It's Thor and Erik. Should I?"

At Jane's nod, Darcy swung the door open and smiled. Jane poked her head out of the bathroom and said, "What can I do for you gentlemen?"

Erik just blinked. "You seem to be in better spirits."

"I get paroled today. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

Thor cleared his throat. "We've come to bid you farewell, Jane Foster. And Darcy Lewis."

"Oh. Well, it's not goodbye forever. I've been told this is only medical leave. I have to report back to the prison eventually."

Erik shook his head. "I hoped you would adjust and realize the advantages SHIELD can offer."

"I don't want to fight with you about this, Erik. I care about you and I know you care about me. Can we leave it at that today?"

Before the older scientist had a chance to answer, another knock came at the door. Thor opened it to admit Agent Malone.

"The Quinjet is waiting. I received Dr. Silverman's report, so if you are ready, I'll escort you out."

"I'm ready!" Darcy chirped. "But my suitcase is in my room. Can you help me with that?"

Agent Malone hesitated, and Thor stepped in. "Erik Selvig and I will help Jane Foster with her bags. We will meet you at the security checkpoint."

Darcy took Agent Malone's arm, though it hadn't been offered to her, and pulled him out of the room as the other three watched in amusement.

Erik turned back to Jane. "I don't think that poor man stands a chance."

"No," Jane agreed. "Darcy is quite resourceful when she puts her mind to something."

oooOOOooo

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Jane unlocked the service station door. The mid-afternoon sun streamed through the windows—someone had pulled the blinds open—and illuminated a surprisingly tidy room.

"Welcome home," said a voice behind them. "Erik called and asked if I could get the place ready for you." Jane turned to see Isabel, arms laden with a casserole dish and several grocery bags.

"Isabel! It's so good to see you."

The small party filed inside the lab, depositing luggage and shedding coats. After satisfying himself that all was well and conferring with Darcy, the SHIELD agent assigned to escort them took his leave.

Darcy and Isabel were properly introduced.

"I've heard about you," said Darcy, narrowing her eyes at the older woman.

"And I've heard about you," said Isabel, unruffled.

"It's all true," said Darcy.

"I sure hope so," replied Isabel.

The women grinned at each other and Jane breathed a sigh of relief.

Isabel pointed at the dishes on the counter. "Chicken enchiladas. Reheat when you get hungry. I didn't have any keys, so the trailers haven't been cleaned. Would you like to borrow an air mattress?"

"No problem. I'm used to sleeping on the couch."

Darcy poked her. "Hello?"

"I mean, thanks. An air mattress sounds great. Once again, Isabel, you're a lifesaver."

oooOOOooo

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Isabel said there's a GPS in the car. I'll be all right."

"Okay, see you later. Have fun at the mall."

Jane watched Darcy drive away in Isabel's small tan sedan, then walked back to the old service station. She never expected to call this makeshift lab home, but Jane felt an undeniable peace and comfort being back within these ugly, industrial walls. It was nice being alone, too.

To keep the SHIELD spooks happy, Jane logged into her work computer and sent a quick "Here safely" email to Erik. Then she ran the hidden bug-detecting app. Who knows what kind of junk SHIELD had planted in her lab while she was gone? Surprisingly, no new privacy invaders showed up. Apparently SHIELD felt that Darcy's spying was sufficient.

Several minutes later, Jane emerged from the bathroom in comfy old sweats, having showered away the institutional smell. Fresh mug of coffee in hand, she settled herself at the dining table with her notebook and a well-chewed pencil. The regularity of the mark on her wrist troubled her. She could no longer pretend it was a rash or a random scar. Something—someone?—had branded her, and she intended to figure out who had done it and what it meant.

Field work had trained her to be reasonably good at sketching, and in a short time she was satisfied. Taking a long pull of her now-lukewarm coffee, Jane leaned back and studied the drawing. Huh. She had never noticed that the mark looked like one brand superimposed on another. The base bore a strong resemblance to a traditional Celtic or Eastern infinity knot, as Darcy had once mentioned. But now she could see another layer, a set of angular bent lines, in contrast to the curves of the knot. She tore two more pages from her notebook. On one, she drew the knot design, and on the other she drew the second symbol.

An uncomfortable pressure built in her abdomen.

RRrrroowww. Jane chuckled at the growling of her stomach, remembering the time she had been terrified it was the start of another panic attack. She reached for her coffee cup, intending to ignore the hunger and continue working, as was her custom. But another growl grabbed her tummy and the thought of Isabel's chicken enchiladas made her mouth water. The food at JDEF hadn't been the worst institutional food she'd eaten, but it could not compare with Isabel's expert cooking.

Jane sat at the table for a couple of minutes, torn between the allure of the mystery in front of her and the demands of her empty stomach. She squinted at the second drawing. She had seen something like this before, but where? It would only take a few minutes to search on the internet and maybe in some of her older notebooks. Sketch in hand, Jane pushed her chair back and headed for her work station. Her stomach protested again, more strongly, this time with a touch of queasiness.

"Who am I kidding?" Jane said out loud. She was sure to spend hours mining for clues. Meanwhile, she would grow hungrier and weaker and possibly even make herself sick. "It's time to put your big-girl pants on, Foster." Other people shouldn't have to take care of her as though she were a child, bringing her nourishing food and reminding her to sleep.

" _Fear is not the only thing you can feel."_

She froze before cautiously looking around the lab. No one was there; she was alone.

" _Remember that you are a vibrant, tenacious, brilliant woman."_

"Who _are_ you?" she called out. She wasn't afraid; she never felt threatened by the voice or the memories, but she was disturbed by not understanding what was happening. "Why me?" No answer came.

A few minutes later, a plate of chicken enchiladas was warming up in the oven while she set the table for herself and Darcy. Jane poured a fresh mug of coffee, leaned her hips against the counter, and ran her fingers over her wrist. Hesitantly, Jane asked, "Are you from the Tesseract?"

It was the most logical answer. Her dreams about banishing the Destroyer began after she agreed to work on the project with Erik. The cut on her hand had healed freakishly quickly following her initial encounter with the Tesseract. Whenever she was near the artifact, it reacted strongly. And then yesterday, when she had asked the Tesseract about the mark, it had opened what appeared to be a portal. Jane didn't know if the flashing, sparking column had been an Einstein-Rosen bridge. For that matter, she wasn't sure whether it had been an actual portal at all. If Thor hadn't also witnessed the phenomenon, Jane would dismiss it as a hallucination. Because through the blue column of light, she could almost swear she had caught a glimpse of black hair and green eyes.

oooOOOooo

"You're gonna love this, girl!" Darcy swept through the door, already talking, arms laden with bags. She walked backward so she could lock the door behind her. "It's cashmere, but don't kill me, it was only—oh." Darcy turned to set her shopping bags down and saw that Jane was asleep on the couch, tucked under her comforter. The air mattress lay on the floor behind the couch, inflated and made up for her.

"I guess it can wait till tomorrow," she said quietly. She scanned the room, taking in the place set for her at the table. A note tucked under the plate read, _Sorry for being a bad hostess. I'm wiped out. Feel free to reheat some enchiladas. They're amazing! See you in the morning. Jane_.

Darcy stood watching the other woman sleep for a moment, then picked up one of the bags and made her way to the bathroom. With the door safely locked behind her, Darcy withdrew a small tube from her coat. From the shopping bag she pulled a rectangular box and opened it, quickly scanning the instructions. Carefully she pulled the plastic stopper from the tube and dipped the absorbent end into the tube, counting "One Mississippi, two Mississippi," until she reached five. Darcy laid the stick on the counter, covered it with a tissue to remove temptation to peek, and checked her watch.

She felt super creepy about using Jane's pee to conduct a secret pregnancy test. But something was definitely going on, and she couldn't just sit back and watch. Darcy could buy the idea that the Tesseract's radiation had branded Jane's arm. That was freaky, yet totally plausible, given everything else they'd witnessed in the last six months. However, the puking, the exhaustion, the irritability—classic symptoms of being knocked up. Jane swore she hadn't slept with anyone, but after the major trauma she'd been through, it's possible she'd blocked out the memory of some crazy night.

Darcy checked her watch, then peed and washed her hands. She looked at the time again. Ugh. How long did three minutes take?

Jane would definitely kill her. If she found out. If it was negative, then "no harm, no foul." If it was positive, then Jane needed to know, right?

Three minutes. Darcy took a deep breath and uncovered the stick. She sighed again.

 _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_ , for sure.


	20. Chapter 19

All characters, places, events, you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, and so on.

A/N: Thanks to dristi5683! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 _Day 179_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Hello, yes, uh, this is Darcy Lewis...No, _Darcy_ , with a "d"...Yes...I'm calling for Agent Malone...Sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to say, ma'am...Yeah, I'll hold."

Darcy squinted her eyes against the bright sunlight of the New Mexico day. The creaks and clanks of construction equipment cut through the crisp air. Dust occasionally billowed up over the roofs of nearby buildings.

Agent Malone came on the line with a crisp greeting. Darcy returned her attention to the call. "You told me to call and give you a report, right?...I told Jane I was going to take a walk. We've been kind of camping out this weekend in the lab. She's been taking it easy, taking care of herself...no, she hasn't said anything about that. I think she just needed to get away from that place for a while, you know? Well, maybe _you_ don't know, since you seem to love it there, but, like, normal people might—uh, not that you're not normal, Agent Malone...yeah, okay...no, nothing weird...I'll let you know. Okay, bye-bye."

Darcy ended the call and slapped her forehead. "Smooth, Lewis, real smooth."

 _Day 186_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"This is Darcy Lewis for Agent Malone. Yes, I'll hold."

Darcy pushed her dark hair behind her ear and waved at Isabel, who was unlocking the diner for the day. A crash sounded from the construction site and Isabel jumped. Darcy chuckled.

"Agent Malone, hello...Jane's resting, catching up on reading, trying not to work...No, I don't really have anything to report. Except that we're sleeping in our own trailers again...Well, how am I supposed to know what you think is important? Guess I just like hearing your voice...Yes, I will, of course. Goodbye."

Sliding her phone into her pocket, Darcy glanced through the windows of the service station. Jane sat in front of her laptop, coffee mugs scattered on the table. "She's not working on anything for _you_ , I mean."

 _Day 193_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Darcy Lewis, ma'am, for Agent Malone. Oh, hello, Agent. Um, I didn't expect you to answer...No, that's not my real accent. I was just having some fun...sorry—never mind." Rolling her eyes at herself, she continued, "So, um, about Dr. Foster. She seems to be feeling better...Yes, we watched the eclipse...Of course we're gonna watch the meteor shower, don't be silly, this is Jane Foster we're talking about...No, I don't think she's ready to come back yet. Yeah, I know it's been more than three weeks. You know she calls it the "bleeping prison," don't you?...No?...If you're going to answer the phone then I'll try not to say anything too embarrassing when I call...yes, I realize that will be difficult…'kay, bye-bye."

Darcy ended the call and turned to face Jane, who was shaking with repressed laughter. "Shut up, Foster. I'm totally lying to the government for you, so be nice."

 _Day 200_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Hello, Agent Malone. Darcy Lewis here...Good morning. How's it hanging?...Do you miss me? Come on, admit it, it's totally boring there without me...oh, you're used to totally boring? I see. Well, tell Erik and Thor that Jane's fine. Don't know what all the craziness was about with the wormhole and whatever...uh-huh...a visit would be cool, but one of you should let her know...Sweet. Thanks, Agent Malone...um, okay, Nicholas."

Jane opened the door of the lab and peered out at Darcy. "Done with your spy report, Agent Lewis?"

"Yeah."

"You okay? You have a funny look on your face."

Darcy nodded. "I'm fine. His name is Nicholas! Agent Malone told me to call him Nicholas."

"Uh-oh," Jane said with a smile.

"Oh, and Thor's coming to visit in a couple of days, so we've gotta act like everything's all normal here."

Darcy didn't know when she would ever work up the courage to tell Jane that _nothing_ was normal.

 _Day 203_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Jane shut the water off and reached for her towel. The bathroom was cramped, but staying in the trailer felt like significant life progress. She stepped into the main cabin to finish drying off. A familiar beat in her belly made her pause. If she hurried, she had just enough time to towel-dry her hair before the nausea got the best of her.

The distasteful dance had become predictable. Every morning, roughly half an hour after she got up, a wave of nausea would swamp her for ten minutes. Afterwards, she'd be fine the rest of the day, provided she didn't let herself get too hungry or drink too much coffee. Darcy had tried to persuade her to see a doctor, but she'd refused. This sickness was obviously a side effect of working with the Tesseract. A doctor wouldn't be able to do anything. And she was in good company. Many scientists had suffered for their craft—Marie Curie, for starters.

 _Oops, here it comes..._ Jane ducked into the bathroom. A while later, she brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face, then studied herself in the mirror. The dark circles under her eyes remained, but otherwise she looked healthy. While she genuinely missed the Tesseract, the distance seemed to be doing her good.

oooOOOooo

Shaking her head in frustration, Jane scanned the web page again while twirling a lock of her hair. Nearly a month of searching, and she was no closer to understanding the meaning of the marks on her wrist. Even her underground IT guy had been unable to help her. Searches on alien artifacts and spontaneous scarring had led to either sites run by individuals of dubious mental stability or to dry articles in dermatological journals.

Johann Schmidt had worked directly with the Tesseract. Had he or any of his henchmen been marked in a similar way? She'd love to get her hands on Arnim Zola's classified files. Jane scribbled a couple of notes about this latest dead end in her notebook, then turned back a page. _Algiz, Sowilo, Hagalaz, Thurisaz, Uruz_...her search hadn't been entirely fruitless. She had found loads on Old Norse runes. Before her nightmares, she had barely been aware of Norse runes. How could her subconscious have provided her with a real incantation to use against the Destroyer?

Add that to the list of impossible things in her life right now...

"You ready?" Darcy asked.

...including the fact that a demigod from outer space was coming to visit. Jane hid the two drawings between leaves of her notebook and stuffed it into a tote bag. She'd already stashed her personal laptop in her trailer.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she said. "What time is the Quinjet supposed to arrive?"

"Thor said he'd be here around half past one. I thought we could walk out to meet him."

Jane paused. "Won't that send the wrong signal?"

"Still nothing, huh?" Darcy rolled her eyes. "I don't get it, boss-lady. I mean, you've seen him, right?"

Jane rolled her eyes back. "He's just not my type. Anymore. I don't know!" She threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't know why it matters, anyway. What are the real chances of me, plain Jane Foster, ending up a princess of Asgard? I can't imagine Thor's parents would be too thrilled if he presented them with a puny mortal chick as their future daughter-in-law."

She set the tote down and grabbed her jacket off the arm of the couch. Suddenly, the room went dark and Darcy shrieked.

"Are you okay?" Jane ran to the door of the lab. A tornado was dropping out of the sky in front of the service station. As had happened in the lab at JDEF, time slowed to a crawl for Jane. She turned to check on Darcy. The younger woman had dropped into a crouch, her hands clasped protectively over her dark head. Satisfied, Jane looked up to the sky. It was clear blue everywhere but directly above them. She frowned, then faced the menace.

"Since when are tornadoes red and silver?" she muttered to herself. "Oh, for Pete's sake," she scoffed, exasperated. "Darcy, it's okay! You can get up. It's just Thor."

The God of Thunder touched down with a flourish, grinning at them while he spun Mjolnir.

Darcy ran to Thor and smacked his arm. "Thor! You nearly scared us to death."

Still unable to hide his amusement, Thor bowed low. "Pardon me, my ladies."

"Where's the Quinjet?" Jane asked.

"I've been confined to a relatively small space for long enough. I requested permission to fly on my own. It took some doing, but here I am."

"Here you are," Darcy repeated. "Welcome back to Puente Antiguo."

"Thank you, Darcy," Thor said. "Hello, Jane. It's very good to see you."

"Hi," Jane answered.

The three of them endured a beat of awkward silence before Darcy stepped in. "I'm cold! Let's go inside."

Jane mentally braced herself when she heard heavy footsteps behind her. "Are you well, Jane?" Thor placed a solicitous hand on her elbow. She fought the urge to shake him off.

"I'm fine, thanks."

Darcy pointed at the duffle bag Thor was carrying. "Is Mew-mew in there?" The three filed into the lab. Thor set the bag down just inside the door.

He nodded. "Yes, Mjolnir is in there. _Mjolnir_."

Darcy paused while taking off her coat and shrugged. "That's what I said. Mew-mew. So, is that duffle worthy?" She tugged in vain on the handles of the bag.

Thor laughed. "Worthier than you, apparently."

"Hey!" Darcy protested, which only made him laugh louder. "That reminds me, we've gotta play _Space Invaders_. I found an old console and TV in the closet."

"I didn't understand most of that, but you can teach me."

"Sweet!" Darcy clapped her hands.

He glanced at Jane, who was still standing by the door, wearing her jacket. "Will you play with us?"

Jane shook her head and said, "I'm going to make coffee. Either of you want any?"

"Coffee sounds good," Darcy said. "Caffeine first, then _Space Invaders._ " Both she and Thor sat at the dining table while Jane brewed a fresh pot of coffee. Darcy drummed her fingers on the table. She smiled self-consciously at Thor. "So…"

"I was glad to see signs of recovery as I flew over the town," Thor said. He looked to Jane for her reaction, but she didn't answer.

Darcy piped up, "How are things going at Castle Grayskull, He-Man? How's Erik?"

"I don't know about He-Man, but Erik Selvig seems well. The project has been quite slow, however. Erik assures me that the only difference between previous tests and these latest ones is that—"

"Jane's not there," Darcy interjected.

"That's correct," Thor affirmed. "The Tesseract has evidently developed a preference for Jane, and it seems to be choosing not to participate in experiments now that she is gone."

Jane set a mug of coffee in front of him. "This isn't merely a social visit, is it?"

Reluctantly, Thor answered, "Erik Selvig asks you to return immediately. He believes no progress will be made while you're away."

Darcy watched the interaction like a tennis match.

Jane shook her head sharply. "No way. I'm not going back there."

The Asgardian sighed. "I fear you do not understand what is at stake."

Jane drew herself up and smiled, tight-lipped and dangerous. "As far as I'm aware, we were feebly trying to mount a defense against an unknown entity. I don't believe Erik needs me to do that. If you have more information, Thor, I'd love to hear it."

At his silence, she nodded her head. "That's what I thought. I'll be in my trailer. I, uh, have a phone call to make."

Thor stood and held his hand out. "Jane, I'm your friend. I'm only recommending what I believe is best for you."

Halfway to the door, Jane froze. "My friend?" she asked, icicles hanging off the words.

"Yes," Thor smiled. Darcy winced. "Pay attention to the tone of voice, Space Dude," she whispered.

Jane turned to face Thor. "Do _friends_ lie to each other? Do _friends_ use each other?"

The smile slid off Thor's bronzed face. "Are you still angry that I could not return to you sooner?"

"No, Thor. I'm not angry about that. I'm furious that you were not honest about your reason for returning. And you have the gall to call yourself my friend."

"Heimdall saw—"

Jane stalked toward him. "What _did_ Heimdall see? You were always quite vague about that. Even now, when you say that I don't understand what's at stake, you don't want to give me real information. You just want me to blindly trust you."

Thor raised his eyebrows in supplication. "Darcy? Might I receive some assistance?"

The younger woman resolutely shook her head. "No way. Nuh-uh. You're on your own."

Jane slapped her hand on the table, startling both Thor and Darcy. "Screw it. I'm tired of this game. I know, Thor. I know Loki showed up at JDEF and threatened to take the Tesseract."

Thor sat down heavily. No one made a sound for a long moment. "How did you find out?"

"You and Erik have big mouths. I overheard you arguing about it."

"Then you know I wanted to tell you. Erik was afraid the news would provoke a relapse of your condition."

Jane shook her head. "That doesn't buy you any brownie points. Since when is Erik Selvig the boss of you? You _didn't_ tell me. The project didn't stall because I'm not there; the project stalled because you and Erik concealed absolutely critical data."

"I'm sorry. I truly am, Jane." Thor ran a hand over his face. "Now that this is in the open, would you come back and help us?"

"What? You're unbelievable! You—"

Darcy jumped to her feet. "Thor! How about _Space Invaders_? Now seems like a really good time."

The lab door flew open; Jane stomped across the parking lot to her trailer.

Thor groaned. "This is not how I imagined this visit."

"Give her some space. And you know what you need to take your mind off your problems? Good old fashioned video games! Come on, whaddaya say?"

He looked at the door settling closed. "All right, Darcy Lewis, I'll play with you."

"Yes! I'm gonna hook stuff up. Could you move the couch over by that television so we have a comfy place to sit? You can handle it on your own, right?"

"Of course."

Darcy knelt to connect the components. "Let's see, we need this to go here and this to go...no, this should connect here…" A few minutes later, she stood up and announced, "Ta-da! Just like riding a bike. I'm going to grab some chips. Want anything?"

Thor didn't answer, so she said, "Hey, want a Coke?" When she still heard no response, she turned around. The huge Asgardian stood with his back to her, unmoving.

"You okay, big guy? Can I get you a drink?" Darcy called. She felt a pulse of sympathy. This whole mess was hard on him, too.

He suddenly came to life again. "Yes, I'd like a drink, please. Strong Asgardian ale would do nicely."

"How about a can of Coke and _Space Invaders_ instead?"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 204_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"It's open," Jane called.

A large blond head appeared around her door. Crap. She had expected Darcy. Her mouth drew taut and she cinched her dressing gown more securely.

"May I come in?" Thor asked quietly. "Darcy said coffee would be ready in a few minutes."

"I guess." Frigid air seeped around her bare ankles. "Hurry up, you're letting the cold in."

Thor stepped inside, bowing slightly in the small space. After an uncomfortably long pause, it seemed to dawn on him that she wasn't going to speak first. "Do you know what this is?" He withdrew a square of lined paper from a pocket, unfolded it, and laid it on the table.

Panic clawed at her throat and dropped boulders into her tender belly. There lay her sketch of the angular mark on her wrist. "Do you?" she whispered. Any louder, and her voice would crack.

Without invitation, Thor sat down. The tiny trailer creaked in protest. "Yes. I do. I found this among your belongings. Because we are friends, I would like to give you a chance to explain."

Anger replaced the panic, and it loosened her tongue. "And why were you snooping through my belongings, _friend_?"

"Darcy asked me to move the couch yesterday. When I did, a satchel of some sort fell over and the contents spilled out. This drawing was on top."

Jane cursed loudly inside her mind. She had forgotten her tote in the excitement of Thor arriving in a tornado. Fighting for the upper hand, she forced sarcasm into her voice. "I'm not sure how this is any of your business. I came across this symbol during some research, and I sketched it in order to identify it."

Thor frowned. "Where did you find this? What sort of research were you doing? I must warn Heimdall."

"Heimdall? Why bring him into this?"

Thor ran his hands through his hair in a classic expression of frustration. "Because this is tantamount to a declaration of war."

Jane's head snapped up. She knew her mouth was hanging open, and she tried to tell herself to close it, but the connection between her brain and her body appeared to be delayed. _Say something! Be cool,_ she commanded herself, but all that squeaked out of her traitorous vocal cords was, "What? What _is_ this symbol, Thor?"

"This is Loki's rune mark."

Her heart had never beaten so painfully before. It was pumping frantically, but no oxygen was getting through. Her ears roared with the sound of her own blood rushing futilely through her veins. Spots swam in front of her eyes.

Thor swiftly moved to her side. "Jane!" He rubbed her back roughly and she finally remembered to breathe in great gasps. Pressure squeezed her temples, as though something were trying to push its way into her brain. She shook her head and pushed it away by sheer willpower. Life-giving oxygen returned to her organs, to her limbs.

Two thoughts crystallized violently: _I have Loki's mark carved into my skin. And it's a declaration of war._

"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't think about—I was so focused on what I wanted to know. I'm so sorry. I should have considered..." Thor continued to rub her back as he muttered mindless apologies. He apparently assumed her reaction was caused by the PTSD. A hysterical giggle bubbled up. Never could she have imagined being grateful for those hellish nightmares.

She held up a hand. "Just...just give me a minute, okay?" He shifted so she could slip by him into the bathroom. Jane shut the flimsy door and gripped the sides of the sink. She raised her head. Brown eyes stared back at her—exhausted, confused, frightened. Her wrist burned. Jane yanked her sleeve up and stared at the symbol engraved on her skin. Loki's mark. A declaration of war. How? When? _Why?_

oooOOOooo

Thor headed back to the service station while Jane dressed. Darcy said, "Jane just texted. Big news, huh? Want some coffee?"

He sat in a dining chair, head in his hands, blond locks slipping over his shoulder to touch the wood of the table. "No, thank you." What sort of tangled web was this? Loki had evidently spent much longer on Earth than anyone had previously suspected, long enough to leave his rune mark somewhere. A part of Thor was glad that his brother was alive, but a larger part was afraid Loki had drifted somewhere beyond redemption.

He had to report this development, but he didn't have enough information yet to present to either Asgardian or Midgardian authorities. Jane knew more than she admitted. Fear was plain on her face when she saw the drawing, even before he told her what it meant. A hint of nausea tugged at his insides as various scenarios played out in his imagination.

oooOOOooo

The drawing lay on the table. Jane leaned against the kitchen island, arms crossed over her chest. She and Thor faced each other warily. "So. What now?" Jane asked.

"Where did you come across this symbol?"

"First you give me some information."

"I don't have time to negotiate. This is Loki's rune mark and it signifies a grave threat. I must report what I've seen—to Asgard, to SHIELD. Since I discovered this drawing here, they will overrun your lab again, looking for information, unless you can direct me elsewhere."

"Go ahead. They've already gone through all my stuff. If you take me back to JDEF, the Tesseract will find a way to protect me. The way I see it, I have the upper hand here."

Darcy's respect for Jane upped a notch. The girl was stone-cold bluffing. Did Thor realize that?

Tense seconds ticked by. Thor's face betrayed none of his thoughts. Finally, he bowed his head and slid into a chair. "What would you like to know?"

"What is a rune mark, and how is it a declaration of war?"

Thor folded his hands on the table. "In many of the Nine Realms, unique runes are created for those of noble birth. I have one, too. They are most often simply a substitute for a signature on a contract or a decree. But Loki..."

He paused, and Jane prompted, "Go on."

"In the hands of a seidr wielder, a rune mark is deeply powerful. Loki is one of the strongest mages alive." Turning to Darcy, he asked, "Might I trouble you for that refreshment now?"

"Sure thing," Darcy said, and poured him a large mug of black coffee. Thor downed the contents in one long gulp, then nodded his thanks.

Thor continued, "This is difficult."

"Try me," Jane said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. "I sometimes understand hard things."

He recoiled slightly, as if wounded by her remark. "I wasn't referring at all to your ability to comprehend. I doubt my capacity to adequately explain."

"Oh," said Jane, subdued.

"The best way I know to explain is this: by inscribing his rune mark on an object, Loki lays claim to it."

Jane's face paled. Darcy wrinkled her nose.

"You mean it's like writing my name on my lunch bag when I was a kid?" Darcy asked.

"Yes," Thor said. "if you could enchant the bag so no one else could open it or eat the food inside. Loki once stole a new suit of armor from me, right before a royal processional, by marking it with his rune. I had to parade before the whole Council in my undergarments. Father was not well pleased."

"What a jerk!" Darcy scoffed.

"To be fair, I had twisted the horns of his helmet into a bow. He looked ridiculous." His expression softened for a fleeting moment, as if he were going to smile.

"Is your rune mark on Mew-mew?" Darcy had seen Jane's reaction. She needed to keep Thor's attention on her until Jane recovered.

Thor grimaced. " _Mjolnir._ And, no, that's a different sort of enchantment."

"So Loki can, like, just abra-cadabra his name on stuff? What's keeping him from just running around, slapping his rune mark on everything?"

Thor nodded. "Fortunately for us, it requires a great deal of magical energy to place one's rune mark on an object. Loki cannot afford to waste his energy."

Darcy tilted her head in her best imitation of an airhead and asked, "So, could Loki put his rune mark on, like, an animal or a person? He can't, right? 'Cause that's totally bizarre. I mean, eww."

Thor got up to refill his coffee mug, and Darcy quickly squeezed Jane's hand. "Runes can be inscribed on a person, yes. But that is a different ritual, much more complicated. Both parties must participate. I very much doubt that Loki could have performed that rite here on Midgard. No, it's much more likely that he has claimed some fortress or cache of weapons."

oooOOOooo

" _By inscribing his rune mark on an object, Loki lays claim to it."_

She'd expected something along those lines, but hearing Thor say the words out loud shook her up. "I'll tell you how I found it," Jane blurted out.

Both Thor and Darcy stared at her. She had to tread carefully here, to ensure Thor believed her story. "Since my return to Puente Antiguo, I've been researching unexplained phenomena. I hoped to find some pattern that would fit what we know about the Tesseract.

"A couple of weeks ago, I, um, came across a chat room of people who claimed that they'd experienced odd force fields in the last year. I stopped to check it out because of what happened in the lab at JDEF. One of the people posted a photo of this shard of metal with a strange design on it. I drew the design because there was something about it that reminded me of the Destroyer."

Thor leaned forward. "Where did this take place?"

Jane sighed. "I don't know. The day after I found that site, it was gone. Completely gone. I'm glad I drew the design when I did."

"I must share with Agent Coulson and Director Fury what you've learned. Please excuse me." Thor retrieved his government-issued phone and walked outside into snow flurries.

Jane and Darcy stared at each other for a long while, until Darcy spoke. "What is happening?"

"Well, according to Thor, I belong to Loki now." She giggled a bit hysterically.

Darcy nudged her. "Hey. That's crazy. We're going to figure this out."

"Yes. It is crazy. Am I going insane? It doesn't make any sense, Darcy. How could Loki have branded me? Thor said that both people have to participate. And there's no freaking way I consented to that."

"Maybe Thor's wrong."

Jane stared at Darcy, a faint glimmer of hope in her eyes. "What?"

Darcy shrugged. "Well, Thor's kind of on edge about Loki, right? I mean, Loki showed up at JDEF, then disappeared, and no one knows where he is or when he'll turn up again. Thor hasn't seen the actual mark, just a drawing of part of it. Maybe it's kind of like a witch hunt—Thor is seeing what he wants to see."

"Oh, Darcy, I hope you're right. I don't know how much more my mind can take."

"We definitely need more information. And I think I know how to do that without making him suspicious. But first, let's go to Isabel's. I'm hungry."

oooOOOooo

"What did Coulson say?" Darcy asked. Thor had joined them as she and Jane were finishing their meal.

"That surveillance will be increased, but nothing can be done unless we know where to look." He accepted a menu from Isabel with a smile.

"More coffee?" Isabel asked.

"Please," Darcy answered.

"Not for me, thanks," Jane said.

"Really? You drink more coffee than anyone I know. Are you sure you're not, you know—"

"Just trying to cut back."

After Isabel took Thor's order, Darcy leaned toward him. "I have an idea," she said, a conspiratorial tone to her voice. "We have legends and so about you all god-type dudes, but not a lot of real information. I propose a database. Jane thinks it's a good idea. We could know better what to watch for. Whaddaya say?"

Thor considered her suggestion. "That sounds brilliant, Darcy."

Beaming, Darcy fished a pen out of her purse. "Pass me that napkin. Thanks! Let's start right now, 'kay? So, you're Thor Odinson, Asgardian," she said, jotting down notes.

"I'm Aesir, actually."

"Pardon?" Darcy frowned.

"Our race is called 'Aesir.' Like yours is 'human.'"

"Okay. From Asgard, race Aesir. You're blond, with blue eyes and impressive muscles. And you're how tall?"

"Six foot, five inches tall."

"Uh-huh, and you weigh how much?"

"Around 300 pounds."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Ohhh-kay! And, let's see, you've got Mew-mew, and you can fly and summon lightning. What else do we need to know about you?"

He cleared his throat. "Some say I'm a decent warrior."

"Great! Thanks. Could you pass me another napkin? Since we've been discussing Loki, let's do him next." She shot a quick glance at Jane. _You okay to do this?_ Jane lifted her chin ever so slightly. _Do it. "_ Name, Loki Odinson, also Asgardian—I mean, Aesir. Probably looks a lot like you, huh?"

"Got your farmer's breakfast, blondie." Isabel slid a loaded plate in front of Thor.

"Thank you, Isabel," he said. "I look forward to this feast. You are an excellent cook. Judging from the amount of people I see in here, all of Puente Antiguo shares my opinion."

"Thanks," she said. "A lot of them are construction workers. They keep me up on all the gossip."

Darcy raised her eyebrows. "Construction gossip? I didn't know that was a thing."

"Yeah! They tell me who the good foremen are, which workers screw around, and when interesting things happen on the job. Couple weeks ago a guy almost fell out of the crane. Oh, and yesterday, they showed me this perfectly preserved green silk ballerina shoe they found in the old inn. They're calling it the Cinderella slipper."

"I understand that reference!" Thor said. "May each find his princess."

Isabel laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "You're a good guy, Thor. I'd better go take care of the other good guys, too."

Darcy waited until Thor had eaten a couple of eggs and several slices of bacon before proceeding. "So...Loki? Blond? Blue-eyed?"

"Actually, he looks very different from me. I never understood it while we were growing up, but when I returned to Asgard, I learned that Loki is adopted. He was born Laufeyson, a Frost Giant."

Jane stared out of the window, giving no indication if she was listening. Darcy continued, "A Frost Giant? So he's all icy, or what?"

"I've never seen him in his native form. His usual appearance is Aesir-like. He's only slightly shorter than I am, but much leaner."

Darcy wrote all this down, business-like. "Hair color?"

"Black."

"Eyes?"

"Green."

Suddenly dizzy, Darcy stared at the napkin. She couldn't bring herself to look at Jane.

oooOOOooo

A green nebula…

 _There are no men like me_ …

Kai…

 _Run away with me…I don't want to let you go…_

 _You seem different...it's like you're real…_

 _I would be bound to you forever…_

A green slipper...

Wave after wave of memory assaulted her. The utter absurdity of her life, the cruel irony, mocked her. She had always striven for what others considered ridiculous, unbelievable. _Be careful what you wish for…_ Her theories had been proven, but she had been battered and broken—a victim, not the victor. What was to become of her? To whom could she appeal? A cold certainty settled in her chest. She wasn't guilty, but that wouldn't matter. She bore Loki's mark. There was no way out. _If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me._

"Excuse me, will you?" Jane clumsily pushed herself out of the booth. "I, um, I just remembered I have to go verify some data." Her voice was ragged, her movements uncoordinated.

"Now?" Thor asked. "Should I go with you?"

Jane was already halfway to the the door of the diner. She had to escape, to get away from her life.


	21. Chapter 20

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks for your patience as you've waited for me to update. My workload has increased significantly in the last few months. These next few weeks in particular I'll be away from home most of the time, with little or no internet access. So please don't worry if I don't update for several weeks. I'll be back. :)

* * *

 _Day 204_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Jane frantically wiped the burning tears from her cheeks with a shaking hand. She blinked several times to clear her vision, but the fuzziness remained at the edges.

She remembered. She remembered all of it: Kai, the Tesseract, each dream...that last night. For weeks, Jane had struggled to keep the fabric of her life intact as this mark appeared on her skin and memories not her own haunted her. She had searched for understanding. Now she understood, and the truth was so much worse than she could have imagined.

The transmission suddenly screeched. Jane jumped, her heart painfully accelerating even faster than it already was. Only after a second attempt to shift to third gear did she realize that her left foot wasn't even on the clutch. A dull hiss filled her ears.

 _Focus, Foster! Keep it together._ Sunlight bounced off the freshly fallen snow and cut through the windshield, even though it was the weaker winter version of the New Mexico sun. Squinting against the light, Jane searched for the outcropping she used as her landmark.

The bulky van lumbered over frozen waves in the sand. A particularly sharp bump snapped her teeth together, catching her tender cheek between them. Jane cried out at the pain. She tasted copper at the back of her throat, and an arrow-sharp memory of Kai— _Loki_ —cradling her bleeding hand sliced her heart. Her vision narrowed even more and dizziness thumped at her skull.

 _Please let me find it...please be there._ Sucking in each breath was painful against the vise grip of panic. Jane dragged her hand across her sweaty forehead then regretted it when her wet hand slipped on the gear shift. The steering wheel wrenched out of her slack grasp as the utility vehicle's tires fought with the washboard path.

 _There!_ Even after nearly seven months, a few ridges and whorls remained on the desert floor where the sand had been melted to glass by the blast. Skiffs of snow swirled and gathered in the indentations, highlighting the site. Jane blinked back sudden tears of gratitude at this unexpected help. She brought the hulking vehicle to a halt a few yards away.

 _Breathe, Jane. Steady. In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four._ But her head still pounded and her heart still raced out of control. She pulled the handle of the door and pushed it open with her shoulder. Her legs buckled, and she had to wait a few seconds before she could stand and close the car door. The sharp _chunk_ of the metal door closing resounded in the empty desert.

Jane hesitated for a beat. What was she doing? This was crazy. Hysterical giggles erupted from her chest. _This_ was crazy? No. _This_ was a sane response to the absolute insanity that had blown up her life.

One foot slid forward, then the other. Jane steadied herself with a hand on the car's hood. _Breathe, two, three, four…_ She shivered and pulled her barn jacket closer around her. A breeze stirred, raising goosebumps along her neck and arms.

Her toe nudged one of the glassy ridges along the perimeter. She took a couple of steps inside for good measure, and threw her head back, searching the afternoon sky, but there was no sign waiting for her.

"H...Heim….dall?" Her voice came out thin, reedy, powerless. Humiliation washed over her. _What an idiot. How could you have been so gullible? Heimdall won't listen to you._ Jane cleared her throat.

"Heimdall?" Stronger this time, clearer. She took a deep breath and pushed the dizziness away. "I hope that you can hear me."

A wave of terror suddenly crashed over Jane, squeezing her stomach and buckling her legs. She dropped to her knees on the frozen desert floor. Where was the bracing anger now? Her stomach lurched and Jane swallowed hard to maintain her composure. _Please don't let me throw up now. Not here._

The melting snow soaked through her jeans and numbed her knees. Jane welcomed the distraction. She scooped up a small handful of snow and pressed it to her face, pushing her hair out of her eyes. Cold rivulets trickled down her arms, wetting her sleeves. _Breath, two, three, four. Focus._ Jane stayed on her knees, though the cold burned and ached. She tipped her head back again.

"Heimdall, I beg you, please don't tell...I'm not sure what you've seen these last few days—these last few months—I didn't know it was Loki, I didn't...I didn't know he was even _real_. I don't want to help him get revenge on Thor. I won't start a war. You have to help me. I'm not a danger to…to Asgard, to Earth, to anyone!

"And, Heimdall—" A sob cut her words off. One arm dropped to defensively cradle her abdomen. Darcy's suspicions had been right. Jane had protested that it was impossible: _I'm practically a nun. I haven't slept with_ any _man for close to forever._ But the return of her memories—the vivid, overwhelming details of how she had spent her last few hours with the black-haired prince—had swept away all her arguments. The nausea, exhaustion, the sudden aversion to alcohol, all made sense.

"I think I'm...I'm…" Jane's voice failed her entirely. How could she bring herself to say the words out loud? She could barely manage to think them to herself: _I'm pregnant. With Loki's baby. I'm carrying Loki Odinson's child._

But Loki wasn't truly Odinson, was he? He was Laufeyson. And one of the few things she'd learned from Thor about life on Asgard was that Frost Giants and Asgardians were mortal enemies. What if the baby was regarded as a threat? From deep in her belly a wild, protective force exploded and for a few seconds she was invincible. No one would hurt her baby. She would kill with her bare hands if necessary.

The bravado receded as quickly as it had come, leaving her shaking. Who was she kidding? She was powerless against Odin, against Frigga...even against Thor, if it came to that. "Heimdall. Please protect my baby. I didn't know—I didn't want—I'll figure this out, I'll handle it. Please help me...please...don't tell…"

Another wave of crushing panic swept from her toes to her head, overwhelming her this time. Her stomach heaved and emptied itself, tears flowed freely, snot ran down her chin. The convulsions twisted her so strongly that she could not stay upright. Her vision dimmed, the buzzing in her ears grew louder.

"Ahhh! I can't—stop—help me, please!" She collapsed to all fours on the icy ground.

"Jane!" Someone gathered her hair out of the way. "I've got you."

Darcy. Was she alone? Frantically, she whispered, "Thor!"

"Isabel is keeping Thor occupied. Come here; get out of the cold. You're shivering." Darcy gently helped Jane to her feet, pressing a tissue into her hand. Jane wiped her mouth as Darcy led her past the car she'd borrowed from Isabel to the van. She unlatched the back end and boosted Jane in, then climbed in after her.

Jane hunched into the fetal position and rocked back and forth, tears pouring unchecked from her eyes. Darcy scooted toward the other woman and pulled her into her arms. "Shhh…shhh...it's okay." She paused, then murmured, "You know what? Scratch that. You cry as much as you need to, woman."

oooOOOooo

"I was told you requested a progress report, Master." Loki bowed low to the ground before the purplish floating hulk of Thanos.

"Yes, runt. My patience is wearing thin." He drew the last word out, making it a threat.

Loki bit his tongue. With every iteration of the Zetryan moon, It took more and more effort to remain submissive. Thanos was truly the Mad Titan. In his single-minded courting of Death, he had come to believe that he was the most powerful being in the universe. What he wanted, he expected to get immediately, simply because he wished it so. Survival on this twisted black rock depended not on one's actual merits but on the ability to keep Thanos happy. Logic, loyalty, past successes—none of these mattered.

"The army is nearly ready, your Highness."

"Nearly?"

"Master, the hive mind of the Chitauri—"

"What of it?" Thanos' voice carried a clear warning.

Loki hesitated, then sighed in resignation. He did not anticipate escaping his association with the purple Titan alive. A defeat on Midgard would likely mean a drawn-out, excruciating death. If there was a way to avoid defeat later, he had to risk displeasing Thanos now. "Is there any way to reprogram them? It seems more a weakness than a strength. We've invested so much. If the Command Center is disabled or destroyed, the entire army is useless."

"My army is weak? Useless?" Thanos lifted one finger off the arm of his throne.

He had to tread very carefully. Loki drew a breath to answer, when a spear of panic suddenly ran through his gut, strong enough to make him wince. It wasn't his own fear, though. The shape of it was different, distinctive. _What is this? What is happening? Is this Thanos' doing?_ He subtly scanned his surroundings.

Thanos cleared his threat. A tremor coursed down Loki's back. _Focus, you fool!_ He wasn't exactly afraid of death, but the kind of death he knew would await him was particularly unsavory. "Master, forgive me, I must have misspoken. I would like to request permission to reinforce the defensive features of the Command Center."

"Hmm." The finger lowered. "Watch yourself, No-One's-Son."

oooOOOooo

Several minutes later, Jane's tears had subsided to the occasional shuddering sob. Darcy handed her another tissue. Jane sat up and blew her red, puffy nose. She stared at the dull gray floor of the van. "I'm pregnant."

Darcy choked a little. "What?" _Be cool, Lewis._

"Remember, back at JDEF, when you asked me if I was pregnant? And I said no way? You were right."

They sat silent for a long while, then Darcy said, "O-kay. Caught me a little off guard there. Just—why are you telling me now?"

Jane fumbled in the pocket of her jacket, then pulled out a hair elastic. She yanked her wet, tangled hair into a low ponytail. "I told you I was having these déjà vu moments. Well, I remember everything now."

"Wow. So...you had forgotten...? And you just remembered?" Darcy wondered if any woman had ever before blocked out sexy times with a god. Thor's pride was probably going to be bruised. Jane would need to break it to him gently, but Thor was a good guy. "This is great news! I'll bet he's going to be kind of shocked at first, but then he'll be thrilled! I think he'll make the best daddy, don't you? How should you tell him? How about…" Her voice dwindled to nothing as she registered the horrified expression on Jane's face.

"What's wrong?"

"Thor isn't the father, Darcy."

Wait...what? "Um, then who is?"

Jane didn't answer. Her fingers traced the scar on her wrist as tears spilled down her cheeks. Darcy felt the cells in her brain protesting where her thoughts were going. "You and...Loki?" Darcy wanted to be super chill about it, but she couldn't stop her voice from squeaking.

Jane's shoulders shook. "My life is over."

Darcy secretly agreed, but she automatically replied, "Whoa, hey, that's a big leap, there, boss lady."

Jane raised her puffy, tear-streaked face, wiped snot away with a wadded-up tissue, and glared at Darcy. "I'm knocked up, Darcy. It's _Loki's_ baby. What part of that sounds like 'happily ever after' to you?"

"So, like, for real? It's Loki's baby? Not Thor's? You...um, slept...with...Loki? Wait! Did he—did he _rape_ you? He did, didn't he? He had to have! That son of a bi—" Darcy bit off the curse when Jane began sobbing again. "It's okay, sweetie, we'll tell Thor and he'll kill Loki for us. Don't worry."

"No!" Jane gasped. "We can't tell Thor. I think that's exactly what Loki wants me to do—to be the catalyst to start a war. I'm not putting Earth, Asgard, and the other nine realms in jeopardy because of my personal issues."

"Jane, you can't let him get away with this. We have to report it to someone who can do something about it." She'd gut Loki herself.

"He didn't force me."

Darcy took a deep breath and counted to ten. "I love you, you know that, right? I'm on your side, no matter what. I didn't rat you out about the mark on your arm, even when you were acting seriously bizarre. I kept my mouth shut about your pregnancy when I thought you were just lying about hooking up with Thor. But I'm gonna need you to explain a bit more to me how you had consensual sex with _Loki_."

Jane's sobs slowed down. She shifted to lean against the opposite wall of the van, crossed her arms over her chest, and narrowed her eyes. "Wait a minute. You kept your mouth shut about my pregnancy? How did you know?"

It was Darcy's turn to stare at the floor.

After the longest ten seconds of Darcy's life, Jane said, "Oh. You never returned those vials of blood and urine to me. Darcy Lewis. You didn't."

Darcy crossed her arms over her ample chest, in mimicry of Jane's posture. "I just had to know. You were all crazy, and you wouldn't listen to any kind of reason. I had to be the grown-up, for Pete's sake! If I had a nickel for every time I've sighed in the last couple of months..." She flicked a glance at Jane.

Jane reluctantly said, "You're right. But when were you going to tell me?"

Darcy frowned. "I hadn't figured that out yet. I guess I thought eventually you'd either admit you were lying or you'd go into labor. I didn't imagine option C: Loki's the dad!"

Jane winced, and Darcy said, "Too soon? I'm sorry. I'm just kind of freaking out here."

" _You're_ freaking out?" Jane covered her face with her hands. "Look—I didn't _know_ it was Loki, okay? Does that make you feel better? I didn't know any of it was even real."

Darcy leaned forward and took Jane's hand. "Listen, Jane. You know I'm not big on this, but given the situation...have you considered termination?"

Jane said nothing. Darcy shrugged. "We can talk about that later." Her phone buzzed. "It's Isabel. Hang on. Hello...no, there's still quite a bit more work to do. Could you keep him there with you?...Honestly, he'd only be in the way here...Thanks a million, Iz. Bye!" She slid the phone into her pocket. "I bought us some more time. So, spill it."

Keeping her eyes covered, Jane began, "I don't understand it all, but I'll tell you what I know. I was in really bad shape from the nightmares. One night—you know this part—I had a dream about this black-haired, green-eyed man who rescued me from the Destroyer. He kept showing up in my dreams. I named him Kai…"

oooOOOooo

"Jane and Darcy have been away for quite some time. Perhaps I should—"

"Heads up!" Isabel hollered cheerfully from the top of a ladder, and Thor shot a glance up. An industrial-sized can of salsa hurtled toward his head. He caught it easily. "This is fun," she said. "Want a job? I could use a big, strong guy like you."

Thor chuckled as Isabel descended the ladder. "I already have a job, thank you. But I ought to ensure that Jane and Darcy are well."

Isabel rolled her eyes at him. "Nah. They're fine. You know all the science-y stuff takes forever. Come on, help me move these shelves to the other side of the room."

"Hi, guys!" Darcy poked her head into the storeroom. "We're all done with that, uh, project. How's it going here?"

"Great!" Isabel answered. "I've just about convinced him to stick around as my warehouse manager."

Thor set the metal shelves down gently, then turned to Darcy. "Is Jane well?"

Darcy flapped her hand at him. "She's fine, don't worry about it."

"When she left the diner—"

Darcy put her index finger to her lips and closed the storeroom door behind her. She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial pitch. "It was pretty traumatic for her to learn that weird sign thing she found was Loki's. You know? I mean, she's not a big fan of his. He kind of keeps messing up her life."

Thor shot a glance at Isabel, who just smiled at him. "It's cool, Thunderboy. I can keep a secret."

Darcy took a step closer to Thor. "Listen, she's ready to work on defending Earth against that—against Loki. But there's no way she's going back to JDEF." When he made protesting noises, she shook her head. "That place messed with her mind, dude. Either she works remotely or she doesn't work at all. She's calling Erik right now to hash it out with him. I'm just giving you a heads-up so you don't pressure her about it."

He inclined his head in acknowledgement. "Shall we go, then?" To Isabel, he said, "Thanks for keeping me distracted, Isabel."

"Hey, I wasn't—oh, forget it. Friends gotta do what friends gotta do, right?"

The blond giant and the buxom brunette exited the diner and headed toward the old service station. Through the bank of windows they could see Jane sitting at her work station, head in her hands. Darcy nudged Thor and said, "Hey. Let her bring Loki up, okay? Go gentle on her."

oooOOOooo

Jane heard the lab door open and quickly wiped her eyes. _Just take it one minute at a time. You can do this one minute at a time._

Darcy entered first. "How was the call with Erik?"

It had been tough. She had had to dig her heels in, even when threatened with prison. "Good, I think. He—"

"Jane!" Thor's bark made her jump. "I must talk to you immediately about Loki. There is something you must know."

Her heart abruptly accelerated, and Darcy rounded on him. "Thanks! That's exactly what I asked you to do. I appreciate it." The sarcasm dripped from her words.

Jane intervened. "It's okay, Darcy. I might as well get the whole story, right? Pull up a chair, Thor. Let's hear it."

He dragged a dining chair to the work station and sat facing her. Darcy perched on the station itself to listen to Thor. "I told you it was unlikely that Loki had branded a person."

"Right."

"I have changed my mind. I'm now certain that Loki must have completed a rune bond ceremony with a mortal."

 _No, no, no, you can't think that!_ Jane's expression betrayed none of her thoughts. "But the mark was found on a piece of metal."

Thor leaned forward and reached for Jane's hands. She pulled back and crossed her arms. He sighed. "If Loki had marked a fortress or a cache of weapons with his rune, he would have hidden it well. There is no strategic benefit in allowing it to be discovered early. If the rune mark was found, then he intended for it to be found, most likely to send another threatening message to Asgard. I don't know how he knew to place the mark where I would eventually learn about it, but I've learned not to underestimate his abilities."

Why did Thor have to pick the absolutely worst times to be brilliant? Jane kept her mouth shut.

"I initially dismissed the idea of Loki forming a bond with a human because the ceremony is complicated. I know nothing of the technical side of it, but one thing all Asgardians know from earliest childhood: rune bond magic requires the full consent of both parties. It cannot be forced on either party. Therein lies its beauty."

Jane choked and covered it with a cough. Beauty? Like hell.

"I found it highly improbable that Loki had spent long enough in this realm to win the heart of a maiden. Heimdall never saw him. How could he reveal himself to the lady but conceal himself from Asgard?"

Okay, so Loki was probably still smarter. Or at least craftier.

"In truth, I found it highly improbable that Loki had won the heart of any maiden in any realm. But I digress. I now believe that Loki found someone with whom he could bond and wanted to make sure I knew about it." Thor sat back in his chair, looking pleased. A shaft of afternoon sunlight gilded his blond hair with gold and platinum and limned his high cheekbones. He looked every bit the prince he was.

Jane shook her head. "I don't get it. I mean, I know Loki's not everyone's favorite. But why do we care if he's found himself a girlfriend? Good for him, right? Maybe he'll settle down now."

Thor nodded. "I would agree with you, if it wasn't for the prophecy."


	22. Chapter 21

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks for your patience during this season when it's been difficult for me to write. Thanks to dristi5683. I really appreciate your help.

* * *

 _Day 204_

 _Asgard_

This was not the first time Heimdall had contemplated a course of action which some might judge treasonous. Most believed his duty was to be unswervingly loyal to Odin. He saw it slightly differently: the greater good of Asgard had always been, and would always be, his highest priority. Centuries of observing the cosmos—watching the rise and fall of civilizations, bearing witness to the machinations of race after race, witnessing even great men grow weak—had taught him that no one was infallible. Not even the All-Father. Not even himself. So he stood in meditation, weighing his choices, locked in a debate with himself.

Odin would, of course, want to know what Jane had revealed to him. But, as when Loki had appeared next to the Cosmic Cube and begged for mercy, Heimdall was reluctant to betray Jane to Odin. He had chosen to warn Odin that Loki had uncloaked himself on Midgard, but he had not mentioned Jane Foster's involvement to either Odin or Thor.

Two factors had influenced Heimdall's decision. The first was known to everyone. Loki was a consummate liar. It was possible, even probable, that nothing Loki had said was true. Loki knew that invoking Jane's name was the easiest way to hurt Thor. Heimdall refused to be a pawn in the struggle for power between the brothers. Until he could discern the truth, he had chosen to remain silent.

The second factor was known to no one besides the Gatekeeper himself. One evening he had noticed a small girl leaning precariously out of her bedroom window, craning her neck toward the sky. He checked on her the next evening. There she was again, swiping the brown hair out of her eyes as she tried to sketch the stars. An adult tugged her back into the room, scolding her for being careless. She solemnly nodded in agreement, meekly climbed into bed, then scrambled for the window again as soon as the coast was clear.

The young mortal and her love of the stars amused him. He was curious what would be become of her. Heimdall never mentioned Jane to anyone, but he often looked in on her. He was pleased that the little sky-watcher did not forget the stars as she grew, even though her life was not easy. Perhaps she would be the first Midgardian to find her way to other realms.

His was a noble calling, but a lonely one. Night after night, year after year, century after century, he kept watch. When he assumed the mantle of Gatekeeper, he had understood that his life would be solitary. And so Heimdall felt a kinship with the girl who watched the sky, alone, as he watched the sky. After young Jane was orphaned, he gradually began to think of her as the daughter he would never have.

He felt he knew her, or at least knew something of her character. Jane had weathered tragedies, discrimination, and general ridicule, and yet held fast to her dreams. That was why he had discreetly redirected Thor to land in Puente Antiguo upon being cast out of Asgard. Heimdall had never intended to interfere in Jane's life. But he understood that Midgardians had ceased to believe in the old stories. A man declaring himself the god of Thunder could cause chaos. Odin meant for Thor to learn a lesson, but Heimdall wondered if he realized the toll that lesson might take on Thor and on Midgard. Jane Foster would at least consider the possibility that Thor was telling the truth, that he had come from a different world. She would help him. And she had, eventually.

So of course Heimdall didn't want to rush to implicate Jane in Loki's scheme. If Loki could be believed, Jane wasn't to blame. Heimdall shook his head, irritated with himself. What was keeping him from immediately summoning Einherjar? Wasn't it his sacred obligation to report all dangers to the throne posthaste? Perhaps Loki had discerned Heimdall's partiality to Jane and was using it for his benefit. He could not allow himself to be blinded.

Her sobbing confession in the frozen desert added another boulder to the weight on his shoulders. Heimdall had never seen Jane and Loki together. Loki was now not only capable of hiding himself from Heimdall's gaze, he also had partially cloaked Jane. His powers had grown, even in exile. Had Jane conspired with Loki in this? Jane had seemed truly broken and desperate as she had begged him not to tell, but it could have been an act, part of their overarching plot.

She certainly possessed the intellect. Jane was a brilliant mortal, her mind at least on par with Loki's. She was a force to be reckoned with, a driven scientist. Given her history, there was little the two of them working together could not accomplish.

But Heimdall had watched Jane long enough to know that she was not a good actress. She wasn't interested in dramatic games and power plays. She was interested in science. She had never shown signs of aspiring to power, merely to knowledge. Perhaps Loki had seduced her by promising her as-yet unattainable knowledge. That would make sense.

The golden-eyed sentry sighed. Odin needed to know that Loki had taken a bride—and this was no passing fancy, no easily-annulled drunken embarrassment: he had well and truly bound himself to Jane for eternity. Thor was slowly realizing the implications of the rune bond mark he had discovered. He would soon report to his father all he had learned. It would raise suspicion if Heimdall had not already alerted the All-Father.

But the identity of Loki's mate did not have to be revealed yet, did it? He believed Jane was right: if Thor knew that Loki had irrevocably claimed her, a bloody feud was likely to explode. It would distract them from the bigger threat looming. Jane would also be in grave danger, as Odin would designate her as an enemy of the highest order. Heimdall could not allow that as long as he had any hope she was innocent.

He would tell Odin a form of the truth: he did not witness a bonding ritual. He would not mention her name to the All-Father...yet.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 206_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Midnight blue shadows crept around the interior of the trailer, gradually lightening to dirty gray. Jane sat hunched on her bed, arms clasped around her knees, staring into her future. It was as bleak as the murky winter dawn, with no promise of warmth or longevity.

Her belly gurgled. Not with nausea, though. Hunger, probably. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. How long did it take to starve to death? She could do it. Just sit here in her trailer, wasting away, until all of this disappeared. It had already been more than a day since she'd holed herself up. If she didn't eat or drink anything, it could be over in a week, maybe. She appreciated the absurd as much as the next person, but this was too much. Ridiculous. Her whole life had devolved into one improbable and unbelievable event after another. It would be funny if it wasn't her actual, real _life_ at stake.

How had it come to this? Where had she gone wrong? How had she gone from the tenacious, edge-of-conventional science Jane to starring in a remake of _Rosemary's Baby_?

Her stomach twisted, a bit more strongly this time. She absently scratched her wrist. She wanted to feel hate, to draw strength from fury, but her heart just lay in her chest like a cold rock. Maybe the life was already draining out of her.

Jane had always prided herself on forging her own destiny. Almost no one believed her theory. She had to fight for every penny of funding she got. But she had defied all expectations and succeeded. If Thor was to be believed, that had all been a cosmic joke. She wasn't in control of her fate at all; she was merely a pawn in the Norns' game…

" _I would agree with you, if it wasn't for the prophecy."_

Thor's words from a day and a half ago echoed in her head. _"The Bridge's destruction caused tremendous upheaval. It was days after the battle, after Loki fell, before I could speak to Father._

" _I asked him why he had said no to Loki. I felt he had encouraged Loki to let go and drop into the Void. Father's answer shifted all I had believed about my family. He told me that Loki was not my natural brother, that he had found him, abandoned, on Jotunheim. He felt compassion for the babe, and Mother agreed to raise him as her own. They hoped that one day this child would build a bridge of reconciliation between the realms._

" _Then one day, Mother received a prophecy, something like 'the smallest giant with the strongest woman will conquer the undefeatable ruler.' It was devastating. Loki had become part of our family. The citizens of Asgard believed him to be the son of Odin and Frigga. Odin didn't want to kill him, nor could he do so without drawing unwanted attention. Neither did he want to send Loki away, either. 'Keep your enemies closer…'"_

 _Jane had listened with a sick sort of fascination, her thirst for understanding warring with her instinct for self-preservation. Both she and Darcy sat mutely, minds barely able to absorb yet another blow._

" _Mother begged Father to allow her to continue raising Loki as their son. She hoped that if Loki never discovered he was a Frost Giant, the prophecy would never come true. Fate can sometimes be shaped. Mother truly loved Loki and taught him all she could of the magic arts. Father, though he did care for Loki, was wary of him and held him at arm's length, which may have only served to fulfill the prophecy. Both Mother and Father told us terrible stories to discourage us from going to Jotunheim. But then..."_

" _Your coronation," Darcy interjected._

" _Yes," answered Thor, "although we didn't know that it was Loki's doing. I was furious; I wanted to retaliate, but Father forbade it." He rubbed his eyes. "I understand now. Keeping Loki away from Frost Giants or Jotunheim was more important than saving face or protecting our honor, but the All-Father couldn't reveal that._

" _I also understand why he banished me. Father was angry not so much that we had disobeyed—we had done that many times—but that we had gone to Jotunheim. He needed to separate us so we couldn't plot together to return, and he couldn't send Loki away. It was his hope that after the immediate danger was past, I would find a way to come back."_

 _Shadows of winter's early evening darkened the room, but none of them got up to turn on a light. For several minutes the small group sat silently, each of them undoubtedly considering the story's impact on his or her own life. Jane was struggling to comprehend what Thor was saying. That Loki might want to take Odin out was no surprise. But what did this prophecy have to do with her? And how could she ask Thor without making him suspicious?_

 _Eventually, the Asgardian continued. "Father's deeper fears were realized, however, after I had been dispatched. Loki discovered he was a Frost Giant and confronted the All-Father. Father tried to assure Loki that we cared for him, but the strain was too much and he fell into the Odinsleep. When he awoke, it was clear that the centuries-old prophecy was coming to pass. So he let Loki go, believing that he would not survive the fall."_

" _But he did," Jane brought herself to say._

" _He did," agreed Thor, sighing heavily. "I wish I could rejoice that my brother's alive. Instead, I must be constantly on alert for his next treachery. And if he's taken a mate, then we must assume that they together will threaten the throne of Asgard. This woman must be found and taken prisoner."_

Jane covered her face with her hands. She hadn't been recruited to overthrow Odin, but what were the chances anyone in Asgard would believe that? And what would they think about a baby? She couldn't imagine it would be good. Jane tried to imagine breaking the news to Thor. A chuckle snuck past her black mood. To put it indelicately, Thor would crap a brick.

Ah. How could she have been so—

"No," she said aloud, startling herself. More quietly, she repeated, "No." Jane had spent the last two days scrutinizing and rehashing every single second she could recall spending in Kai's presence. She had forced herself to see the situation from the point of view of an outsider, and she had torn herself apart with castigation and recrimination.

But no one but herself had gone through exactly what she had experienced. Others had been affected by the Destroyer, to be sure. But no one else had dreamed her dreams. Kai had come to her not only as not-Loki, but as a savior. No one else had known the kindness he'd shown, turned now to utter cruelty.

She had done what she had done with good intentions, even if no one ever believed that of her. Enough was enough. Jane would not continue to torture herself by second-guessing every decision she'd made since kindergarten. Whatever became of her, the time for self-pity had passed. She had allowed herself to wallow in misery for more than a day, and it was soul-destroying.

Pale sunlight, unwelcome, snuck through whatever narrow gaps it could find. A soft knock sounded at the door. She made no effort to answer it. Whoever it was would go away, just as they had the last seven times. She felt raw, exposed, and wasn't ready to deal with other people yet.

Something tickled her wrist, and she absently scratched it. "Ow!" The brand mark flared, burning and throbbing. Jane stared at it. Again her belly fluttered. She sighed and looked around for the pack of crackers she'd snagged sometime yesterday. _Twitch_. Jane froze. That wasn't from hunger. _Twitch._ Could it be…?

She'd counted the weeks yesterday while staring balefully at the cheap plastic seams in the ceiling of her trailer. October 20. That was the day her world had ended. _Twitch._

 _And a new life began,_ whispered a traitorous voice in her head. October 20 was about ten weeks ago, so she was supposed to be about twelve weeks pregnant. Way too early to feel a baby move. Well, too early for a human baby, anyway. Who knew what this thing inside of her was?

 _Twitch. Flutter._ Her wrist didn't hurt anymore, but the mark was definitely warmer than the rest of her skin. _New life,_ whispered the voice in her heart. _Mine,_ it said. It wasn't a _thing_ inside of her, it was a baby. Her baby. As it had in the desert, a wave of protective resolve washed over her. She hadn't asked for this and only dreaded where it would take her, but she would do whatever it took to keep her baby safe.

Her phone chimed. Jane ignored it, too. She leaned back against the pillows and tentatively slid her hands to her abdomen. A slight bump swelled between her hips. "Hi," she whispered. "I'm Jane." She rolled her eyes, feeling stupid. "Um, actually, I guess I'm Mother. No. Mommy? How about Mama? Okay, I'm Mama. Who are you, little one? What should we call you? Half-and-half?"

She chuckled, again feeling silly, but determined to press on. Life as she knew it was being dismantled, and she was smart enough to know the worst was probably yet to come. But here, here inside of _her_ , was a tiny oasis where life was being built. She would honor that.

"I don't want to call you 'it' for six more months. Or however long it's going to take you to want to be born. You might as well know that I don't have any idea what to expect from you. Your"—here Jane faltered a bit—"father was a bit different from me."

" _There are no men like me…"_

Tall, dark, beautiful, strong, brilliant. Jane closed her eyes against the onslaught of memories, then pushed back. Dangerous. Manipulative. Deceitful. Cruel. She shook her head and sat up.

"Look, you're too young now, but when you're older, I'll tell you the story of how your father and I got together. It's complicated... _really_ complicated. He's not in our lives anymore, but, you know, that's okay. I don't think it's good for you if I badmouth him, so I probably won't say much about him. Except that I hope you get your height from him and not me. Anyway. 'Nuff said, okay?

"So, what should I call you? Peanut? The blob? Sprout? How about...um...Alie? Short for alien? It'll be our little joke."

And evidently Alie was hungry. Jane spied the cracker wrapper. On the floor. Empty. She swore, then apologized.

Her phone chimed again. With an exasperated sigh, she picked it up, scanning the messages, all from Darcy. Most of them were along the line of "Are you okay? You're scaring me." One said:

 _Darcy: Thor's rly wondring about u. I told him u were freaked re Loki. Then I said u had lady probs. That shut him up. lol_

The latest one had this message:

 _Darcy: Merry Christmas, boss lady! Isabel's cooking dinner. Gotta come out sometime. No business talk. Promise._

Christmas. She had completely forgotten. Today was Christmas Day. Crap.

oooOOOooo

"You outdid yourself, Isabel." Darcy leaned back and patted her full tummy. "Thank you. I've never had Mexican Christmas food before."

The early afternoon sun peeked in the tall windows of the former service station, lending a much-needed uplifting atmosphere. A familiar carol played quietly in the background; Isabel had brought her favorite CDs to share. It was an odd interlude of peace, probably the eye of the hurricane, but Darcy was soaking it in. Jane also looked like she was managing to enjoy herself. She had eaten two good-sized helpings of Isabel's _bacalao_ and _romeritos_.

Isabel beamed. "It was my pleasure. This was just a sampling of what a real feast should be, but I didn't want to overwhelm you _gringos_." She pushed back from the table and reached for a plate, but Thor laid a hand on her arm.

"We'll clean up. You've worked hard enough."

The older woman shook her head, then sat down. "My, my, how you've changed, Thunderboy."

Thor grinned, then gathered dishes while Darcy headed to make coffee. Isabel may have made a south-of-the-border dinner, but she'd baked them a north-of-the-border apple pie for dessert.

Jane picked up her own empty plate. "Thank you, Isabel." She stood to help clear the table. "This was a treat. But how were you able to join us for Christmas? What about your family?"

"My son had to work today, so we agreed to celebrate tomorrow. The construction workers are home for the holidays and no one else in Puente Antiguo eats at a restaurant on Christmas, so I would have been alone anyway. I'd much rather be with you motley crew."

Darcy looked up from her task. "Mötley Crüe? Are they still around?"

Thor frowned. "I don't get that reference." The three women laughed. "Don't worry about it," Darcy said.

Jane finished stacking the dirty dishes in the sink, then carried the cream and sugar to the table. She sat down, then said, "I confess that I don't have gifts for any of you. To be honest, I forgot Christmas this year. Darcy, why are _you_ here instead of with _your_ family?"

Darcy shrugged as she set coffee mugs next to the creamer. "I was needed here more than there." The conversation with her parents had been difficult. She couldn't tell them the truth, and her fake story fell flat, so of course they were hurt and couldn't understand why she wasn't coming home. But there was no way she was leaving Jane in such terrible condition. "It's all good."

"Well, you're going home this week." Jane sounded terribly authoritative, and Darcy cocked her eyebrow quizzically at her. Jane merely frowned sternly. "You need a break."

Darcy said, "We'll talk later," then busied herself pouring coffee while Isabel served pieces of pie. "Thor," said Isabel, "what important holidays do you celebrate on Asgard?"

The big man _hmmm'd_ while he politely finished chewing a bite of pie. "We celebrate a holiday similar to your Christmas, but that's not my favorite."

"What is, then?"

"The start of bilgesnipe hunting season."

Isabel laughed, then coughed; she had just taken a drink of coffee. "Do tell, sir."

Thor settled in his chair and crossed his legs. "Well," he began, "at the start of bilgesnipe season we dress in fancy dress and have a parade through the city. Prizes are awarded for the best costumes: the most realistic, the bloodiest, and so on. One year I persuaded Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral to get into a bilgesnipe costume, into the tail of which, unbeknownst to them, I had placed raw meat..."

The pie was devoured and two pots of coffee consumed while the god of Thunder regaled them with stories of outlandish adventures and incredible exploits. Jane had relaxed somewhat, though Darcy noted that she flinched every time Loki was mentioned. Thor, for his part, seemed to have forgotten the current conflict and trauma starring Loki. He spoke of his brother easily, giving Darcy a rare glimpse into their relationship before it all went to hell.

"...so I said, 'Next time, make sure it's a female before you do that!" They all roared with laughter. Thor shook his head and drained his coffee mug as though it were Asgardian ale.

A companionable silence fell for a few minutes. Then Jane spoke up. "I realized I do have a Christmas gift for you all. I'm _not_ going back to JDEF, so don't even think about trying to persuade me. But I'm ready to go all-in to stop Loki, and I'm going to help you find this woman of his. You're right. She has to be neutralized."

oooOOOooo

A figure stood alone in the darkness, facing away from him. He frowned. It looked like her, like Thor's pet scientist, in her shapeless work clothes. That was impossible. What was she doing here? He took a step toward her and his booted foot scraped a rough surface. Looking down, he saw concrete and understood. She wasn't _here_ ; he was _there_. Electric relief cascaded down his spine, and he drew a deep breath. It was illogical, but what wasn't anymore?

She stood with her face upturned, watching the sky. Always watching the sky. Her hair was caught up in some sort of tangled mess, her arms clasped in front of her. Without turning, she said, "Is that you?"

At the sound of her voice, something inside of him righted that he hadn't realized was wrong. Why should that be? Disoriented, he took a few more steps in her direction. "I don't know. Who were you expecting?"

A strangled laugh choked her reply. "I certainly wasn't expecting _you_ to be _you_."

Riddles weren't as fun when he wasn't the one telling them. "Would you like me to leave?"

"It's too late now, isn't it?"

He stopped, unsure, perplexed by the bitterness in her voice. "I must confess, I don't understand. You must be waiting for someone else."

"You could say that." She turned to face him.

Her belly swelled unmistakably under her hands. A searing shot of pain lanced his chest. He blinked and shook his head, but she was still there, still pregnant. Thor. That absolute idiot, the unredeemable moron. Had Thor thought this would stop him? That getting Jane with child would protect her? Inspire mercy? Fury swept through him, making his fists clench, then drained away, replaced by confusion. Why should he care? This was Jane, the mousy mortal, inexplicable favorite of Thor.

That nagging pain in his chest thumped his heart. He scowled again. This was just another annoyance. He might not be able to use Jane when he made his triumphal invasion. He growled in frustration. Why couldn't anything make sense? Why wouldn't two plus two equal four anymore?

She still stood, protectively cradling her rounded middle. The moonlight bathed her face in a cool glow. It was bright enough, and he was close enough to note that her brown eyes were the color of a good whiskey. Finally, she threw her hands out in frustration. "Aren't you going to say anything? You're not mad at me, are you? 'Cause God knows I'm pissed at you."

"Why are you angry with me? Wait—never mind." He could think of a number of reasons: destroying Puente Antiguo and the Bifrost, nearly killing Thor, plotting to kill her… "But why would I be angry with you? Thor is the one to blame for attempting to ruin my plans."

"What?" She shook her head. "What does Thor have to do with this? Why do you have to be so—" her voice broke and she swallowed hard. "Why so maddening?"

"It's my basic nature," he replied automatically, watching the tears track down the gentle curve of her cheek, wondering why he wanted to wipe them away. He massaged his shoulder, hoping to take the edge off the pain. "But what do you mean, 'What does Thor have to do with this'? He pointed to her midsection. "Isn't that his baby?"

Her eyes rounded then narrowed to dangerous slits. "Excuse me? You _know—_ "

"Ugh!" Another pain exploded, this one in his midsection. He turned away from Jane.

oooOOOooo

"Get up, worm." A voice like the slow rotting of a carcass slid through his mind. His eyes opened. A Chitauri minion stood over him.

It had been a dream. Just a dream. But what was Jane about to say? And why did it matter so much to him?

"Master wants to see you."

oooOOOooo

Jane bolted upright in bed, frantically searching the trailer for an intruder. No one was there. It had been a dream. Just a dream. But why was she still crying?

It had seemed so real. _He_ had seemed so real. Jane took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She hated him. Seeing him was like a punch in the gut. So tall, lean, dark, awful, irritating, evil... _beautiful._

Tears flowed afresh. She would find a way to stop Loki's plans to conquer her world. But what she couldn't tell anyone, not even Darcy, what she had not admitted to herself until this moment, was that she was still in love with Kai.


	23. Chapter 22

_A/N: Nothing belongs to me. :) Thanks for your reviews! And thanks to the lovely dristi5683, as always, for her help. She has a great multi-chapter story over on her page. Check it out if you haven't already._

* * *

 _Day 211_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Jane abruptly stopped pacing and turned to Thor. "How does Loki travel without using the Bifrost?"

"Oh, Jane. I don't know. You might as well ask me to explain how Mjolnir returns to me." Thor moved a pile of textbooks and sat on the couch, which caused another pile of books to fall on him.

She stifled a sigh and helped him pick the books up. "Okay. Did you even know that he had this ability?"

Thor handed her three markers before answering. "Yes...well, I had long suspected that Loki had alternate ways of traveling. I didn't know for certain, though, until after he had fallen into the Void. Do you recall that when I was confined by SHIELD, Loki visited me and told me Father was dead?"

The scientist nodded her head. Thor continued, "Heimdall confirmed that he did not activate the Bifrost, so Loki must have used other methods."

Jane snagged one of the markers and wrote "Without Bifrost" on the whiteboard. "I just want to try to figure this out. If we know how he does it, we might be able to prevent him from transporting or at least disrupt the process. Do you think Heimdall knows? Or your mother? You said she also can do magic. Maybe she could help."

"It's possible, but I don't know how we could communicate with them. With the Rainbow Bridge destroyed..."

Plopping down on her desk chair, she took a long drink from a water bottle. "Did Heimdall tell you anything about how it _looked_ when Loki transported himself or whatever it is that he does? That could give us a clue."

Thor rubbed his brow. "No. I was more interested in the fact of it than in the mechanics of it. I'm afraid I'm not much use to you."

Twisting her hair into a bun, she jabbed a pencil through it. She had to keep her hands off her hair; another hair-braiding session with Thor would make her brain explode. "No, no, this is good stuff." Her tone of voice didn't match her words, but she couldn't help it.

"Jane. You've been interrogating me for three days about Loki." Thor didn't seem to be able to help his tone of voice, either. "I've truly told you everything I know about him. I've never heard of anyone else who can travel the realms as Loki can, and I highly doubt he would have shared his technique with anyone." He stood, causing an avalanche of spiral notebooks onto the floor. "Excuse me, will you? I need some fresh air."

Jane watched him leave the lab, the pale glow of winter sunlight flashing as the door opened. She let loose the sigh she'd swallowed earlier. _Darcy, where are you? I need you!_

She had tried to persuade Thor to return to JDEF, to help Erik, but he refused to leave her alone in Puente Antiguo. It was a double-edged sword having him stay. On the one hand, she did feel safer knowing he was sleeping just a few yards away. And he had known Loki his whole life, so he could help in her research. On the other hand, he didn't know any of the stuff she _really_ needed to know, like how anything—magic, the Bifrost, Mjolnir, Gungnir—worked. And while he was behaving like a perfect gentleman, she'd caught him gazing at her soulfully a couple of times.

 _No,_ she told herself, _Darcy needs this time away. I've put her under so much stress. Put your big-girl pants on, Jane._

Her chair creaked as she took another drink of water. The morning nausea had eased but coffee was still off limits. The smell of it turned her stomach, plus she knew the caffeine wasn't great for Alie. So she kept a bottle of water with her to lessen the withdrawal symptoms and boost hydration. But the downside was how often she needed to visit the toilet. Which she needed to do now.

While she was washing her hands, Jane remembered the "Eureka!" moment she'd had two months earlier in that room: black holes. _Funny how sometimes when you stop thinking so hard, the solution comes to you. Wait—black holes! Could that work?_

Jane hastily shut the water off and rushed out to the main room of the lab. Where were those notes? She knelt down and reached for the top notebook on the pile, then realized her hands were still dripping. Unceremoniously, she wiped them on her flannel shirt and grabbed the notebook. After thumbing through a few pages, she tossed it aside.

"Not that one...was it blue or red? Dang it, which one was it? No...yes!" Jane scanned her notes, a fledgling theory taking root. "This might work!" she exclaimed.

"What might work?"

Jane's pulse skyrocketed and she jumped, dropping the notebook. "Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln! Thor, don't sneak up on a person like that."

"I apologize," he said courteously, as he retrieved the notebook. The crinkle at the corner of his blue eyes gave him away, though. Jane didn't mind too badly, as his mood seemed to be lighter. "But, truly—what might work?"

She picked up her marker and turned to the whiteboard. "I think I know how we can capture Loki."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 211_

 _Asgard_

Galaxies sprawled across the stretch of the midnight blue sky. At the broken edge of the Rainbow Bridge the Guardian stood, gazing into the heart of each of these worlds in turn. Birth, life, love, laughter, tragedy, betrayal, death: they continuously played out before him.

Heavy, measured footsteps broke the silence. Without turning from his post, Heimdall called, "Good evening, All-Father." The footsteps drew even with the golden-eyed Watcher.

"The ravens delivered your message. What's this about? I'm not accustomed to being summoned."

Heimdall calmly stepped back from his observation post. Odin's clipped, authoritative tones had long ago ceased to intimidate him. He regarded the monarch solemnly, noting the deepened lines on his brow, the completely snow-white hair.

Inclining his head out of respect for his king, Heimdall said, "Loki's rune mark has been found on Midgard."

Odin's massive shoulders slumped nearly imperceptibly before he answered, "Where was it found?"

Carefully, Heimdall answered, "According to what I heard, Prince Thor is not certain. The scientist Jane Foster stumbled upon the symbol during her research. She did not understand its significance until Thor explained it to her."

"The prophecy," Odin muttered.

Heimdall was one of the few Asgardians to know of the ancient prediction. He nodded slowly, adding, "Yes, that is what Thor fears."

His robes swirling behind him, Odin pivoted to stare at the night sky. "Who is she, Heimdall? Who is the woman bonded to Loki?"

The guardian shut his amber eyes and answered with deceitful truth: "I witnessed no bonding ritual, my liege. I'm afraid Loki has become quite skilled at cloaking not only himself, but also others from my view."

"Where will this end?"

Both men stood searching the spangled skies, the unsaid answer jagged and ugly in the air between them. Odin finally spoke, the weight of the monarchy in his words. "I have no choice, Heimdall. The threat must be eliminated."

"Your Majesty, allow me to remind you that Loki still possesses the Casket of Ancient Winters. If he dies..."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 211_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

"If you die, runt, that matters not to me!" Putrid breath enveloped Loki. He resisted the temptation to turn his head away, and instead focused on the raw, broken rock formation beyond The Other's twisted figure.

In a tightly measured voice, he said, "I understand that. I am not bargaining for my life. I am endeavoring to ensure the success of Thanos' plans."

The Other hissed in anger. "You _sabotage_ his plans!" His bony, six-fingered hand latched onto Loki's shoulder, digging cruelly even through leather.

Rage swelled into an audible pounding in Loki's head. _Control yourself._ It was increasingly difficult to maintain a calm demeanor. Physical hunger, exhaustion, and pain took their toll, but the strange dreams and visions were straining him to the breaking point.

Shoving The Other's claw off his body, Loki snapped, "You refuse to listen to me. The hive mind of the Chitauri will be our undoing. Don't let _his_ pride seal your downfall."

"You go too far, No-One's-Son. I will not warn you again."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 214_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Happy New Year, Jane." Erik's image pixelated briefly. He looked terrible, Jane thought.

"Happy New Year to you as well." They stared at each other for a few seconds. "Uh, did you take any time off to celebrate?"

Erik rubbed his face, leaving his hair sticking up, then squinted at the camera. "Did _you_?" At Jane's silence, he chuckled dryly. "I didn't think so."

Jane shook her head. "Old habits die hard, you know."

"So tell me, how are you doing, Jane? Has being in Puente Antiguo been beneficial for you?"

"We don't have to do this small talk stuff, Erik," Jane said, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"I find that I still care about you. Old habits die hard, you know. Where's Thor?"

Jane shook her head. "Thor's not part of this conversation. This is a professional conference between you and me."

From the kitchen table behind her, a deep voice boomed, "Greetings, Erik Selvig. Jane seems healthier!"

"Thor!" Jane waved him off.

Thor again bellowed, "She's not drinking as much coffee!"

The younger physicist rolled her eyes. "Are you done?"

He was not. "I think she's fatter, too!"

"Thor! For Pete's sake! Enough!" Jane yanked her office chair around and glared at the Asgardian.

Thor winked at her. "You said I had to sit at this table. You didn't say I couldn't talk with Erik."

"It's none of your business whether or not I've gained weight. Shut up, both of you." Jane turned back to the computer screen in time to catch Erik laughing. "Can we please focus on business, _Dr. Selvig_?"

"Oh, loosen up, Jane. We could all use a laugh or two. And let Thor sit at the big kids' desk. None of this should be a secret from him, and he can hear us anyway."

Huffing her exasperation, Jane muttered, "Fine." She waited while Thor pulled up a chair next to her, then raised her eyebrows and said, "Now can we get to work?"

"Of course. In your message, you said you had an idea to catch Loki. Let's hear it." Erik leaned closer to the camera.

Jane cleared her throat. "It's a long shot, I know. But I don't think anyone else has come up with anything better yet." Erik nodded, and she continued, "We could ambush Loki in mid-transport."

Rubbing his chin, Erik said, "Go on."

Jane glanced at both of them, then referred to the notebook laying beside her computer. "I think we could trap Loki while he is traveling by using the Tesseract to re-direct the gravity field. Of course, we would have to know that he is transporting himself and be able to reasonably accurately predict where he intends to land."

Erik _hmmmm_ 'd, and made some notes, then sat back in his chair. "How do you control the Tesseract like that? And what do we do with him if we succeed?"

Thor answered him, "I can answer your second question. I brought instruments with me that can restrain Loki. They immobilize his hands and muzzle his mouth so he cannot use his magic to escape. I would then return him to Asgard to face judgment."

"All right. Fury might have something to say about that part, but that's not my concern," Erik said. "We know Loki intends to steal the Tesseract, so we know where he will try to travel. The big variable, of course, is _when_. He already showed up in the laboratory once. I'll request all the reports I can think of from that date from civil and governmental agencies. Perhaps we can find some clues to help us predict when he might show up again."

Jane sat pen in hand, staring at her notebook. Erik prompted, "Jane? Any thoughts on directing where we want Loki to land?"

"I'll work on some ideas for you to try out."

"Circumstances have changed. Wouldn't it be better for you to come here and do it yourself? I think the Tesseract misses you."

The truth was, she missed the Tesseract, too. She missed the excitement, the awe of working so closely with such a powerful artifact. Now that she understood that the Tesseract was not the cause of either her physical illness nor her debilitating dream flashbacks, she wished she could return to JDEF. But she could not risk the medical exams.

"Erik, please don't start this again. I can't work in that environment."

oooOOOooo

A path had been worn through the thick underbrush of the forest. Jane easily followed it, though the night was moonless. Towering trees stretched high above her. Evergreens of some sort, she thought. The path gently sloped upward until it broke free of the trees. She stopped to gain her bearings, and stumbled back a step, startled by the tall figure standing only an arm's-length away. He was cloaked in black, a hood obscuring his features, but Jane had no doubt who it was.

"You," she hissed.

The figure slowly turned to face her. "I thought it was you. Why are you in my dreams? Who has sent you?"

"What?" she said. "This is my dream."

"Oh, my dear Miss Foster, I'm afraid you're mistaken." The velvet growl of his voice did all sorts of things to her insides. He pushed back the hood of his cloak and she stared into his pale, drawn face. Dark circles ringed his emerald eyes, and bruises, both old and new, stained his temple and jawline. Where had he been? Who had done this to him?

Jane mentally shook herself. _Are you nuts, woman? He ruined your life!_ Humiliation dripped acid over her words. "It's _Doctor_ Foster. And you are in _my_ dream. Again."

"My, such venom. So sure of yourself," he said, equally caustically. "Tell me then, _Doctor_ Foster, where are we?"

Jane surveyed her surroundings. Behind her was the evergreen forest. In front of her the incline of the path led to a flat clearing. Above her—the myriad of sparkling stars stole her breath away. Eager for an unrestricted view, Jane followed the path to a plateau. Mountain peaks ringed the horizon, spearing the night sky, but nothing obscured the view overhead. More stars than she had ever seen before sprawled across an infinite backdrop, gathered in constellations she did not recognize. And where was the moon? It wasn't the new moon phase, but the moon was invisible.

Her fingers itched to sketch the magnificence. This had to be another Dark Sky park, but which one? She tore her gaze from the show above and looked for clues at ground level. A green groundcover—clover, perhaps—spread lushly across the plateau. To the left in the near distance the ground sparkled and shone. Curious, Jane walked toward the lights and sighed in delight. A still obsidian lake mirrored the breathtaking display in the sky. She balanced on the very edge of the water and frowned in concentration at the unfamiliar stars.

"Well, what is this place?" The low-pitched purr at her ear startled her. She had forgotten about him, so enthralled she was by the beauty around her. Jane gasped as her foot slipped. Swiftly, Loki grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the water.

A second stretched into two...three...eternity while he held her back against his tall frame. "Careful," he mocked, "that lake is much deeper than it appears. I imagine drowning is fairly stressful even in a dream."

"Let me go."

"Not just yet, I think. What's the verdict, Doctor Foster?"

With a concerted effort, she blocked the sensation of his breath on her neck and tried to think. The stars were unfamiliar. The moon phase was off. She knew she'd never seen a lake so still. "I don't know," she said finally. She twisted as far as his grip would allow, trying to see his face. "Where are we? Where has your dream taken us?"

Loki must have been satisfied with her capitulation, for he answered without further argument. And just as he answered, she remembered, and breathed the name along with him. "Gullfjellet."

"You know it?" he asked.

Jane answered simply, "I've heard of it." It didn't seem wise to admit that Thor had told her about the Gold Mountains. "Now will you release me?"

His grip tightened instead. "First tell me how you got into my dreams."

"I don't know."

"Who taught you the incantation?" He shook her impatiently.

"Incantation? The only incantation I know is to stop the Destroyer."

She jumped at his derisive bark of laughter. "Nothing, save Gungnir, can stop the Destroyer."

"You taught me, in _my_ dreams."

"What possible reason would I have to enter your dreams? Why would I waste my energy on Thor's weak-minded mortal? Please."

Hurt stole her breath. Anger sent her blood pressure soaring. _Please let me wake up._ This couldn't be good for Alie, even if this was a dream. She cradled her belly with her free hand, instinctively protecting her unborn baby.

Loki whispered harshly in her ear, "Tell Thor this pathetic ploy for sympathy won't work." And he slid his hand over her pregnant middle, insolent and unwelcome.

 _Enough!_ "I don't know what you're talking about. Get your hands off me!" Recalling her self-defense training, Jane elbowed him and twisted. She broke loose, but before she could run, Loki seized her wrists. _No! The bond mark!_ Desperately she struggled, but it was too late—Loki quirked an eyebrow and looked at their joined hands. "What do we have here?" he asked.

"Nothing. Let me go," she said, trying and failing to stay calm. Undeterred, he ran his fingers over the raised scar on her wrist.

Jane had fallen into the habit of tracing the mark when she was alone. It soothed her and made her feel safe. Loki's touch—his slow, deliberate tracing of the curves and lines seared into the tender skin—had the opposite impact. Jane slammed her eyes shut, rocked by the onslaught of sensation. She didn't want this. He wasn't Kai. Against her will, her heart soared; her body remembered him and responded eagerly, overruling her mind. All resistance gone, she swayed towards him, reveling in the feel of his hand on her skin.

"This is my rune mark." Loki's voice was strangled, raw.

"Yes," she answered, not yet daring to meet his eyes.

"Do you know what this brand signifies?"

Jane nodded mutely. Hands still clasped in a mockery of an embrace, they stood silent. She worked up the courage to peek at him. He was already staring at her, eyes wide and haunted, his face paler than usual, his hair in disarray.

Her pulse still beat in several places, but her mind reasserted itself. Was this her chance? Could she get through to him? Perhaps she could somehow change his mind, neutralize the threat.

Carefully, quietly, she said, "You taught me how to get over my nightmares about the Destroyer. And you helped me so much in my work with the Tesseract. Do you remember?"

"The Tesseract," Loki repeated slowly.

Encouraged, Jane continued, "Yes. The Tesseract. Amazing artifact. I really like it. And you and I—well, we liked each other, too, and so, you know..."

"So we decided to bond ourselves to each other?" His voice was hushed.

"Yes," she answered. It wasn't nearly that simple, but this was no time for splitting hairs. "I didn't remember at first, but I do now."

"And the baby?" Was that a hopeful note in his voice?

"It's yours. Well, ours." He nodded, eyes still locked with hers. "You once asked me to run away with you. I said no, but it was a mistake. Let's go somewhere far away."

A sudden breeze cracked the mirror of the lake. "You'd really go away with me?" He spoke softly and unhurriedly.

Reminding herself that this was for the greater good of humankind, Jane nodded. "Yes. What do you think?"

"I think you've been played for an utter fool."

"What?"

Loki dropped her hands and bared his teeth in a parody of a smile. "The Tesseract likes you, doesn't it, _mortal_?" He snarled the words, his calm facade shattered.

"Yes," she choked out. _No, you do not show weakness to Loki._ "Yes," she repeated, clearly and strongly. "But what does that have to do with—"

"Did this mark appear after you met the Tesseract?"

"Yes, but—"

With a barrage of what had to be Asgardian curse words, Loki cut her off again. "I said to wait, that we would soon be together. So impatient." He was no longer talking to her, or at least not about her. "Now it's ruining everything. _Her?_ This is what you think I want?"

"This mark is real!" Jane interjected. In the recesses of her mind, she registered the absurdity. Why was she arguing?

Loki yanked up his sleeves and showed her his wrists. "Do you see a mark on me?"

"No."

"No. Because it's unthinkable that I would bind myself to you. This," he said, pointing to her wrist, "is a hoax. A misguided attempt by the Tesseract, no doubt, to lure me to return. It likes me, it likes you, so it believes we must want each other. But let me be clear: I do not want you. Who would? A pathetic, homely, barely literate _Midgardian_."

Oh.

 _This isn't real, Jane. This is a dream._

But the heartbreak felt genuine. Mortified, she stood frozen.

"And _this_ ," Loki continued, pointing now at her swollen belly, "is just insulting. I don't know if it's another part of the fraud, or if the idiotic Thor has outdone himself this time. You should hope that it's fake."

"Why are you saying these things?" Jane managed to ask.

"Because you'd never be accepted in Asgard—Odin would sooner allow a goat at his banquet table. And your half-breed bastard? Thor can't have little mistakes running around, ruining his chances to be king."

Unwanted tears pressed on her eyes and throat. _Do. Not. Cry. He isn't worth it._

"Stay out of my dreams, Doctor Foster, and stay out of my way. If you get between me and what I want, you'll pay dearly."

oooOOOooo

Jane gasped awake, pressing her hand to her mouth to keep the scream in. Wild-eyed, she scanned her trailer to make sure she was truly alone.

Fury and grief surged. Tears ran freely. What evil deity had concocted this torture for her? Would she always be torn in two by the battle between her memories of Kai and her knowledge of Loki?

"I can't do this, Alie. I can't."

oooOOOooo

The cloaked figure stared dead-eyed into the emptiness. He should be rid of her now.


	24. Chapter 23

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Dristi5683, you are the best! She's currently posting not one, but two multi-chapter fics in different fandoms. Check her stuff out. You will not be disappointed.

* * *

 _Day 215_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

She wasn't there. It was her laboratory: the white board covered in red, green, and blue scrawls, the piles of spiral bound notebooks, the half-dozen empty coffee mugs, even that baggy gray garment slung over the back of a chair. But she wasn't there.

 _Good_ , Loki told himself. _Good riddance._ Jane Foster had turned out to be far more trouble than she was worth.

 _Day 217_

Rough vibrations jostled him awake. Loki blinked several times and rubbed his face, waiting for memory to return.

A battalion of Chitauri foot soldiers was stomping into the training arena. Ah. Of course. Another regiment of mindless drones to tutor in close-range dagger fighting. It was understood that this was his punishment for complaining about the inadequacy of the Chitauri armor. And punishment it was. There was a never-ending supply of these grotesque pawns.

Loki scraped his stringy hair off his neck, mouth twisting in distaste. He had no recollection of the last time he'd been able to bathe, nor could he spare any energy to glamour himself clean. A pickaxe assaulted his head, his legs were marble blocks, and his lungs burned. The hour of sleep he'd just stolen was the most he'd had in days, and he felt no more rested than before. Even massaging his wrist didn't ease the pain.

 _I need Jane._ He scowled. Where did that ridiculous thought come from? He hadn't seen Jane in his dream, which suited him just fine. He wanted to be free of whatever force it was that kept throwing the mortal into his path.

Forcibly shoving all other thoughts from his mind, Loki narrowed his eyes at the Chitauri. What benefit was there in teaching these reptilian creatures the finer points of hand-to-hand combat? Their strength was in those directed-energy weapons they carried and their sheer numbers, not in their finesse. But protesting thus far had yielded only warnings and bruises. Loki stepped forward. He could do this. He _would_ do this.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 218_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

Tucking her hair behind her ear, Jane scanned the search results on her email account. Not there. Maybe it was in the trash folder. She clicked and scrolled a few times. Yes!

"Could I help you with anything?" Thor's deep voice at her elbow startled her. How such a large man could move so quietly amazed her. Jane casually minimized the browser window and flashed him a quick smile. After having seen him in all his "God of Thunder" glory, the sight of him in blue jeans and a flannel shirt always amused her. He definitely blended in better, though.

"Um." _Think of something, Jane!_ "Did Erik mention anything to you about collecting soil samples at the Bifrost site?"

The Asgardian shook his head. "No, he didn't."

Jane shrugged. "Oh, it must have slipped his mind. Would you be willing to do that?" She crossed to the storage closet. "All you need," she said, rummaging around, "are these." Jane stepped back, holding three small glass cylinders. She held them out to Thor. "Here."

Thor took them from her, a faintly puzzled look on his face.

She chuckled. "Don't worry. Just go to the Bifrost site—you know where it is—and scoop up dirt from three different places. Erik wants to test it for space metals and so on," she lied. That should buy her a few minutes.

The lab door shut behind him. She opened her email screen and started a new message. _Dear Dr. Moore, Please accept my apologies for the delayed response. I would be very interested in discussing your offer..._

oooOOOooo

 _Day 220_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

 _Where is Jane? Where is she?_

Just a respite. He just needed a few breaths without the crawling, burning acid in his head. And he needed Jane Foster to be gone, to not exist, but he was slowly awakening to the execrable realization that _she_ was the only thing that soothed his pain. Those dreams—even before he had realized that it was Jane, even when he caught but a glimpse of whiskey strands twirled around her delicate fingers—those dreams were his sole reprieve. No longer.

He was going mad. They never let him sleep and when he slept he dreamed but Jane wasn't there and he told her to get out to leave to never come back or else but when had she ever listened to anything anyone told her to do? Why had he touched her held her body against his own? It was so much worse now why did she have his rune mark burned into her wrist why did she say the child was his why was this thing he despised the thing he craved the most...

 _Where is she?_

oooOOOooo

 _Day 221_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

 _BZZZZZZZ_

 _BZZZZZZZZZZ_

The phone danced across the desk. Jane absently answered, eyes glued to the computer screen.

"What the heck, Jane?"

Darcy. Crap. She'd wanted to have this conversation in person. Jane sat back in her office chair and squeezed her eyes shut. "Darce! My favorite person!"

"What is going on?" Darcy's voice was devoid of its usual good cheer.

"Well, I'm reviewing some potential projects at the moment. Boring stuff. All science-y, you know." Jane forced herself to smile, hoping that would lighten the tone of the conversation. "Hey, you're supposed to be on a Jane break for two more days. Whatcha doin' calling me?"

"You're way too smart to play dumb, Jane. Why did I have to find out from the goons at SHIELD that you're jumping ship? Why didn't you talk this over with me first?"

Jane slowly spun in her chair, very glad that Isabel had asked for Thor's help in the restaurant this morning. "It's complicated, Darcy. I don't really want to discuss the particulars over the phone. The truth is, I didn't want you to talk me out of it. I knew you would be upset when you found out. I had hoped to talk to you face to face. Wait—goons from SHIELD contacted you? They have no business—"

Darcy cut her off. "Okay, it wasn't goons, exactly."

"I _told_ Erik I would talk to you!"

"It was Nicholas—Agent Malone. He called to let me know."

Jane's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, did he now? Nicholas? Do tell."

"Stop deflecting. Was it Thor?"

"No, it wasn't Thor." Jane rubbed her brow. Finally, she hesitantly began, "You know how I was having those vivid dreams a few months ago?"

"About the Destroyer?"

"Yes...among other things." _Like meteor showers and Dark Sky sites and, oh yeah, a bone-meltingly gorgeous sociopath._

"Are you having nightmares again, woman?" The irritation had fled Darcy's voice, leaving only concern. Jane smiled wanly. She didn't deserve a friend like Darcy.

"Not exactly nightmares, no, but...I just feel like it's time for a change of pace. I need to get away from all things SHIELD for a while."

"Is he...disturbing you?"

The night after the dream about Gulfjellet, she had been determined to stay awake and avoid Loki. It was the perfect timing, as the Quandrantid meteors were at their peak. Thor had readily agreed to her proposed campout on the roof, complete with (separate) sleeping bags and a tent in case it got too cold. For several hours, she oohed and ahhed over the show as her eyes grew heavier and heavier. She finally surrendered, no match for the exhaustion of pregnancy. Good-naturedly bearing Thor's teasing about 'Dr. Foster' falling asleep during a meteor shower, Jane crawled into the tent and cocooned herself in her sleeping bag.

Instantly, she was in her lab. Sunlight shining through the windows cut the air with diamond precision. The whiteboard stood in stark contrast to the dark screens of her devices. Everything was real, too real—the hyper-realistic texture of lucid dreams. A shimmer caught her eye, distorting the light, like heat does. _Hide, Jane!_ She scrambled for the bathroom, hiding behind the open door. An instant later, a flash of green and black reflected off the mirror and confirmed her instincts were correct. Jane held her breath. Loki stayed for a few minutes—she could hear his boots clicking on the concrete floor and a low murmur as he muttered to himself—then was gone in another flash.

An increasingly-agitated Loki intruded on her dreams the next several nights. Jane managed to evade her unlikely bond-mate each time, but eventually her luck would run out. She needed to get away. Whatever happened, she didn't want Darcy or Isabel or even Erik to get caught in the crossfire.

"Jane?"

Darcy's voice snapped her back to the present.

"Ah, never mind. Just come back here so you can pack your stuff and go finish school."

Darcy snorted. "Are you crazy? There's no way I'm letting you leave by yourself. I'm coming with you, dodohead!"

"Look, you can still start the spring semester next week. Coulson already made sure that was cool. I'll need you later. In the summer, you know? After graduation. That'll be about nine months since I had to go to JDEF. You know they say the worst post-trauma stuff hits you after nine months. _We'll_ really need you then."

"Nine? I've always heard six."

Jane just waited. Then Darcy said, "Oh. Nine months. Oh, no, you're right, it's nine. My bad. So whatcha gonna be doing?" Back to her old self.

"Let's just talk about it when you get here, okay? The flight's already paid for. How are your parents? What color is your mom's hair this month?"

Darcy didn't fight Jane's redirection of the conversation, and the two women chatted for a few minutes before saying their goodbyes.

oooOOOooo

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

"I won't do it anymore." Loki spoke calmly. Or at least he thought he did. It was hard to be certain through the unbearable ringing in his ears.

The figure in front of him stopped and turned sharply. It made some noises. The noises sounded angry.

Loki shrugged, his leather-clad shoulders creaking. "They cannot learn these skills. It's an utter waste of my time. But you are aware of that. That was your purpose, was it not? To waste my time and theirs. To undermine the mission."

He saw no fist, no weapon, but a blow struck him on the side of the head, then another. The pain was welcome. It was sharper than the constant ache, and so, perversely, brought him relief. The merciless black rock under his feet rushed to meet him.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 222_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

A pile of spiral notebooks tilted drunkenly next to an open cardboard box. Cords and various metal rods spilled out of another box. Pens and paperclips littered the surface of the work table. The detritus of a genius scientist. Thor smiled, watching from his position on the couch, where he had the menial job of sorting out good markers from the dried-out ones. Said scientist was hunched over her laptop, fingers flying over the keys. He couldn't see what she was working on, but it wouldn't have mattered. It would have been utterly incomprehensible to him, anyway. Jane's brown hair was pulled back into some sort of rat's nest at the nape of her neck, a spare pen stuck into the mess. Marker was smudged on the side of her cheek. She wore a too-big work shirt which completely obscured her form.

She was beautiful.

He should tell her that. That wouldn't be breaking his promise, would it? A friend could tell another friend that she was beautiful. That he thought of little else all day long. That being near her and not being able to sweep her up in his arms was torture. That he longed to kiss her until she forgot her own name.

Eh, probably a bit too much for a friend.

But he should say something. Maybe she wondered if he was still interested. He wanted her to know that he respected this temporary friend-barrier, but that he was definitely waiting for her. Yes. That was useful information, and Jane loved information.

"Jane?" Her name came out a little louder than he expected.

"Yes, Thor?" She scribbled something into a small notebook, then clicked to another screen.

"Do you have a moment?" He cleared his throat. "Could I speak with you?"

"Now?" she asked, her back still to him.

"When would be a better time? You've been glued to your computer for days, giving me unnecessary tasks to complete, hiding in your trailer come evening."

Jane paused, shoulders hunched, hand frozen on the mouse. Thor continued, "I'm not dull-witted, Jane. Something is happening, and I'd like to know what it is. We're friends, remember? And I...I care very deeply for you."

Her shoulders relaxed, and she heaved a deep sigh before turning her office chair to face him. "You're right, Thor. We do need to talk. But not here. Let me grab my coat."

oooOOOooo

A light dusting of snow had fallen overnight, whitewashing Puente Antiguo. Jane's smile twisted. Funny how everything could look so different with the slightest shift of perspective.

They strolled quietly through the streets, heading away from her lab. Thor considerately slowed his pace to match hers. At the Bifrost site, Jane mindlessly toed the markings. Thor stared at the ground.

"I'm sorry this is so difficult," Jane offered.

Thor looked at her. "Which part?"

"All of it. This. Us. Life. I'm sorry you can't just go home. I'm sorry you have to deal with this mess."

"I'm not." He moved to stand directly in front of her, her entire field of vision taken up by his plaid-covered chest. "It gives me a reason to stay here, to stay near you."

"Thor," Jane started.

The Asgardian prince raised his hand. "I know, I know. I haven't forgotten my promise to you. But you need to know the truth. Jane, I—"

"Thor, don't. Please don't." Jane bowed her head. Why had she thought coming out here was going to make this any easier? Now it was awkward _and_ she was freezing. "You deserve to know the truth, too," she half-lied. "I haven't been completely honest with you. I'm leaving Puente Antiguo soon, and there's some stuff you need to know before I go."

She risked a glance at him. He had a guarded expression.

"Where are you going, Jane?"

"I'll get to that. Just—just let me get this out, okay? And you can't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you. Promise?"

Thor nodded, his brow deepening into a scowl. A lock of his golden blond hair fell over his shoulder.

"Remember when you asked me if there was another man? That wasn't a total lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, either."

"I'm not fond of the word games."

"It'll make sense in a bit. When you left, when the Bifrost whisked you away to Asgard, I didn't hear anything from you."

Thor made a protesting sound, and Jane laid her hand on his rock-hard chest. "I know why _now_ , and it's okay _now_ , but the fact is _then_ I had no idea if you were alive or dead or whether you even remembered me. It seemed insane to keep waiting when I had no evidence you would return."

His frown eased, and she let her hand drop. "A few weeks before Odin sent you back down here, a man from my past came back into my life." _Carefully, carefully._ "We had previously parted on bad terms"—there was an understatement—"but this time I saw a different side of him. He advised me on the Tesseract project and helped me get over the terrible nightmares I was having. I started to think that he and I had a future together." She took a deep breath. "And then one night, we—"

Thor interrupted, shaking his head. "Erik said nothing about a man in your life. Nor has Darcy."

"Erik doesn't know. And Darcy would never tell."

"Where is he now?"

"I'm not done with my story. We spent one night together, and I thought he was the man of my dreams. But I woke up the next morning and he was gone."

Thor grabbed her arm. "Who is this man? I will find him and I will—"

"Thor! Stop it! I need you to listen to me. I woke up the next morning; he was gone; you were there; I was taken to JDEF. Life got super crazy. You asked me if there was anyone else. There wasn't, but I sure wasn't ready to jump into another relationship."

His grip on her arm gentled, became a caress. "And now?" The hope in his eyes sent a dagger through her heart.

"Now comes the really hard part. A couple of weeks ago, I found out..." Tears welled up in her eyes, catching her off guard.

Thor sweetly kissed her forehead. "It's okay, Jane."

"No, you're making it worse. Stop being so nice," she snuffled through her tears. "I'm pregnant."

He chuckled and stepped back, ducking his head to make eye contact with her. "What did you say? It sounded like you said 'I'm pregnant.'"

Jane forced herself to look him in the eye. "I did. I'm pregnant, Thor. With...that guy's...child."

His smile evaporated and pain shadowed his eyes for the second before he closed them. Ugh. A cold lump sat in her belly. She didn't feel the way about him that she used to, but she didn't relish hurting him. How much worse would it be if she told him the _whole_ truth? Thor shook his head once, opened his eyes, and squared his shoulders. Jane braced herself.

"We'll say it's my child."

She stumbled back a step, stunned. That was one response she'd not anticipated. It twisted the knife in her heart another half-turn. More tears spilled down her face. The cold winter wind numbed her cheeks.

"Oh. Thor, you're a really wonderful person, you know that? I didn't expect...no, we can't do that."

He nudged her chin so she met his eyes again. "Why not? Everyone already thinks we're a couple. We could get married in a quiet ceremony. I'll protect you and the baby."

It would have been easier if he'd gotten angry at her. She could have steeled her heart against him and walked away. But this compassion left her defenseless. Was this the answer? Should she say yes? Maybe he would never have to know the truth. Maybe no one would ever know.

Suddenly, a searing pain ripped through her left arm. The rune bond mark burned like it was freshly branded. Jane whimpered, her knees buckling.

"Jane!" Thor caught her elbow and held her up.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. Ahh, I'm sorry. This is such a disaster." _Deep breath._ "Thor, we can't. As soon as we announce that we're expecting a baby, SHIELD will be salivating. They're going to want to do all sorts of tests on us and they'll figure out the baby can't be yours."

"We won't let them do that."

"If we refuse, that will look suspicious, too. I'm a scientist! I should want to know as much as possible about an interspecies baby. I won't drag you into this."

"I'll take you to Asgard, away from SHIELD."

She laughed, an empty, bitter sound. "Where I will be a goat at a banquet table? I can't imagine being welcome there."

Thor blinked and shook her slightly. "A goat at a banquet table? Where did you hear that? Who said that to you?"

 _Uh-oh._ "It's just how I imagine it would be for me compared to all you perfect Aesir. Thank you for your amazing offer. I'll always be grateful. But I have to say no."

"Then who is the father?" Thor drew himself up to his full height, eyes flashing. "I will track him down and make him pay."

"I can't tell you that. This man—the father—is known to SHIELD. He's had dealings with them before. I don't want Erik or anyone else to know that I was so stupid. I don't want them to know that I'm pregnant at all."

Narrowing his eyes, Thor slowly backed away from her and crossed his arms over his chest. "I see."

Jane's heart pounded. Had she given too much away?

"This is a man from your past. He's _had dealings_ with SHIELD. You want to keep this a deep secret."

Now her heart stopped entirely.

"It's Donald Blake, isn't it?"

"What!"

"Don't be angry, Jane. Erik Selvig told me about your short marriage the night we were out drinking together. He hates Donald. As do I now."

Poor Donald. _Thanks for being a scapegoat._ Jane looked away. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"All right. But if Donald Blake ever crosses my path..."

 _Sorry in advance, Don._

"I don't want you to hurt anyone. I told you all this because of our history and because I need you to help me keep SHIELD off my back. I can't go back to JDEF. The pregnancy will become obvious before too long, and I don't think working around the Tesseract is a healthy environment for a developing baby. In a few days I start a research fellowship in another state. It'll be a clean start. Erik already knows about the new job, but he can't know about anything else. Will you help me?"

Thor gathered her into his arms, chastely resting his chin on her head. "I am your friend."

Those darn eyes wouldn't stop leaking.


	25. Chapter 24

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks as always to dristi5683 for her patience and skilled eye in catching my mistakes.

* * *

 _Day 226_

 _Puente Antiguo, New Mexico_

"Do you have room for two more bags?"

Jane paused her task of cramming a suitcase into the already-full rental car. Isabel stood next to the car in her work apron, holding two bulging grocery bags. "Good morning!" Jane said, looping her hair behind her ears. "What's all this?"

"Oh, just a few things I thought you and Darcy might need to tide you over. Enchiladas, brownies, arroz con pollo, lasagna—"

"Isabel! It's too much." Jane shook her head, but her grin belied her words.

"Jane Foster!" Darcy's voice screeched through the propped-open door of the lab. "You're not turning down food, are you?"

"You can't carry this on the plane with you!" Jane hollered back.

"Take the food!"

"You spoil me rotten," she said, then accepted the bags and set them down next to the passenger door. Turning back to Isabel, Jane said, "Thank you for all that you've done for me."

Isabel flapped her hand. "No thanks necessary."

Jane stamped her feet on the ground and flipped up the collar of her wool coat. "That's not true. You pretty much saved my life, or at least my sanity. I will always be grateful for you."

"Hey, now. This new job you've got is only for a year, right? You'll be back to see me. Are you feeling okay?"

Jane shrugged. "Life is unpredictable. I don't want to leave important stuff unsaid or undone. And I'm just having a hard time warming up today."

Isabel smiled and took off her apron, laying it on the bags of food. "Then come here, sweet girl." She opened her arms and Jane stepped into a warm hug. "I'm going to miss you."

"Can I have one, too?" Darcy shamelessly begged from the doorway. Isabel chuckled and released Jane to embrace Darcy.

"How 'bout you, big guy? Want a hug?" Isabel called to Thor, who was hauling the last of Jane's suitcases out of the lab.

Thor laughed. "Isabel, you're a brave one. Aren't you afraid of a cracked rib?"

"Be gentle, okay?"

Jane couldn't help her wide smile at the sight of the Asgardian's huge arms swallowing the other woman, who soon waved her hands in mock distress. "Help me!"

The four of them stood in a circle as the morning sun tried valiantly to chase the chill out of the air. Isabel looked around at each of them. "It's going to be lonely around here."

"Well, SHIELD's paying to keep this place, so you might get new neighbors," Darcy offered.

"Eh, it won't be the same. So, Darcy, back to college?"

"Yeah," she answered sourly. "Jane's making me."

"Good for her," said Isabel. "Education is important." She eyed Thor, dressed in his Asgardian clothes today, what Jane thought of as his casual uniform. "And will you be staying on this planet, Thor?"

"I am staying on Earth for the foreseeable future. I'll be assisting Erik Selvig with his research at the SHIELD installation until I am needed elsewhere. Jane is also making me."

No one missed the pointed look he gave Jane. That had been another difficult conversation.

" _I'm coming with you, Jane. You shouldn't go off alone. Especially not in your condition. And to a completely new place."_

" _I have to do this on my own, Thor."_

" _Where is this...Colorado? And what is_ Essrull _?"_

" _Colorado is another state, north of here. And it's E-S-R-L, the Earth System Research Laboratory."_

" _What does that mean? What will you do?"_

" _They do a lot of things at ESRL. I'll be helping research how solar flares and other phenomena outside the Earth's atmosphere affect that atmosphere."_

" _You'll need help."_

" _You will be helping me. You'll be helping protect me—us—from being exploited by SHIELD."_

" _It's not right. If Erik Selvig knew that you were with child..."_

" _He can't know, Thor. At least not for a while. You promised me!"_

" _Aye. I did. And now I regret having done so. If my mother ever learns of this, I fear it will not matter how old or strong I am." He smiled a bit, trying to make light of the situation._

 _Jane could not return his smile. If Frigga ever learned of this, it would probably spell the end of Jane Foster._

"Well, Jane's mind is already far from us. I don't want to keep you all from getting to where you need to go. Goodbye, love you, godspeed." Another quick round of hugs and Isabel headed back to the busy diner.

Darcy pointed at Jane's suitcase. "Where's that gonna fit?"

Thor picked it up. "I'll find a place."

Jane headed back into the lab one last time. She scanned the room to make sure she hadn't left anything important. SHIELD had rented the building and bought some of her equipment, so the room looked much as it had the last nine months. "Goodbye," she whispered.

Thor cleared his throat quietly to warn her of his presence. "Are you ready, Jane Foster?"

A sudden lump in her throat made speaking difficult. She nodded, keeping her eyes wide open to avoid spilling the welling tears.

"I'm ready."

oooOOOooo

"Turn left up here," Jane said. "Is this Espejo Street? Yeah, turn here. Okay, it's the third house on the right. Blue house, tan roof."

Darcy brought the rental car to a stop behind a mid-sized blue sedan and rested her elbows on the steering wheel. "So..."

Jane looked at her. "So...yeah."

"Are you sure about this car?"

"Yeah. This guy I know here in Albuquerque checked it out for me a couple of days ago. Said it was good."

"What is it, a Camry?"

"Corolla."

"Mmmm...need to go take care of business?"

"Nah, let's just get my stuff out of this car so you don't miss your flight."

A few minutes later, the two women hugged. "I'll call you when I get to Boulder," Jane said.

"You better," answered Darcy.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 230_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

Strapped to the obsidian altar...the memory of pain...

"Your lesson was not complete the first time, runt. I do not intend to make that mistake a second time."

oooOOOooo

 _Colorado_

"Helloooo, super fancy scientist lady!" Darcy sang.

"Hey," Jane said.

"Are you at work?"

"No, um, I went to meet the director and he agreed that I needed some time to get settled. A new project starts on February first, so I'll jump on board then. Everyone was cool, though, mostly granola-eating Colorado science geeks. And how was your first day of school?"

"Well, a couple of kids made fun of me, but the teacher sent them out in the hall."

Jane chuckled dryly.

"I'm still kind of pissed at you," Darcy said. "Even though I love you."

"I know," Jane answered. "But this is for the best. You need to finish school, to move forward. Trust me, okay?"

In truth, she already missed Darcy terribly. Sharing the gory details of her screwed-up life with Darcy had made that life more bearable. But it was time to stop burdening Darcy with information which made her vulnerable. The less she knew, the safer she was.

"I'm fine, Darce, really I am," Jane said when Darcy remained silent. "You know, I think everything's going to be fine. Getting away from SHIELD and out of Puente Antiguo was just what I needed. Lots of women are single moms with exes they'd rather forget. You helped me through the worst part. I'll always be grateful."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 233_

 _Asgard_

Odin sought him out this time. "Any news to report, Heimdall?"

The Watcher turned toward his king and bowed his head in greeting before turning back to his endless task. "Those rogue miners on Niflheim are up in arms again. I don't see them as any threat; pickaxes are their most technologically advanced weapon."

"I meant news about the bearer of Loki's rune mark."

Heimdall winced, glad Odin was at his back. He had hoped to avoid that question.

"I haven't seen a bond mark since last you asked." Of course, he had also painstakingly avoided Jane Foster. He knew she had changed locations, but for her own good he had not watched her closely.

"Can you see Loki?"

"No, All-Father. I have scanned the realms for him. He is well hidden." This, at least, was the full truth.

"How fares my son Thor? You can see him, can you not?"

Heimdall gave a polite smile, choosing to ignore the barbed comment. "I can see Prince Thor clearly. He is well and assisting those who are strengthening Midgard's defenses."

"And that mortal woman he cares for? Jane Foster?"

"You know her name, your Majesty?"

"It's my business to pay attention to those who influence my son."

"Of course. Jane is...also well."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 235_

 _Colorado_

"Hey, boss-lady!"

"Darcy! You sound perky! How's school? Got your cap and gown yet?"

"Ha, yeah, not yet. But—good news—the dean confirmed that I got credit for last semester's classes, so I'm on track to graduate this spring."

"I'm so glad to hear that."

"So, how are _you_? You feeling okay? How's the puking?"

"I'm fine. Fine. Everything's fine."

"Really? 'Fine, fine, fine'? This is me, chick."

How much to share? Darcy would be suspicious if she didn't tell her anything. "Okay, so I've been having headaches and I can't seem to get warm. Probably just, you know, _What to Expect When You're Expecting: Alien Edition._ No big deal." There. That was good.

"Any hot guys?"

Jane snorted. "I've seen a few that you might like. Me? I'm taking a break. Not really ready to jump into a relationship just yet."

"Making any friends?"

"I've only been here a week. Give me a break! Plus, I miss you and Isabel."

Darcy was silent for a moment, then, "Yeah. I miss you, too. Just say the word, Jane. I still can't believe you're so far away, all alone, while...anyway. What's your apartment like?"

"It's fine. Nothing special."

"Getting settled?"

"Yep."

"Hey—send me your address. I need to know where to find you."

"Yeah, sure."

"Where _are_ you, anyway? The reception sucks."

"Huh. Don't know. Probably too many tall buildings around me here."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 239_

 _Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility_

"Good morning, Jane."

"Hey, Erik."

"Uh, can we turn on the video?"

"I'd rather not."

"I'd like to see you, make sure you're okay."

"Why? Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Old habits die hard, remember? _Are_ you okay?"

Jane's voice softened. "Yeah, I'm fine, Erik. I'm just having a bad hair day, you know? Let's leave the video off."

"Since when do you care about bad hair days?" He sighed. "I need your input on something."

"Yeah?"

"Remember our conversation about capturing Loki? I isolated the Tesseract's activity pattern from the day we know Loki appeared at JDEF. It's a unique pattern, different from any other records."

"Uh-huh."

"This is good news, Jane. We can, at least theoretically, set an alert for that same pattern. I haven't worked out the details yet, but it's promising. What I need from you are some of those ideas about redirecting the gravity field to stop him from transporting away."

Silence.

"Jane? Are you still there?"

"I'm here. Listen, Erik, I'm sorry you've gone to so much trouble. It's not going to work. It was a bad idea. I can't make the Tesseract do what we want it to do."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 240_

 _Colorado_

"He asked me out again!" Darcy sounded torn between being flattered and disgusted.

Jane chuckled. "Did you tell him about Malone, the secret agent?"

"No! Of course not! Wait—do you think I should?"

"Oh, Darcy, your love life is the stuff B-movies are made of."

"I know, right? Speaking of love lives, do the people at your new job know about...?"

"No. Well, the director knows, but he's promised to keep it confidential. I told him that my ex is a difficult sort of guy and I don't want the news getting back to him."

"What will you do when you start to show? Your co-workers are gonna be curious."

"Yeah. I know. I have a little time yet to come up with a good story."

"And what if the baby is...not normal? What are you going to do then?"

"Geez, Darce, thanks for mentioning that. I haven't obsessed at length about that _at all._ "

"...sorry...I know, sorry, my mouth just ran away from me. It'll be fine. You'll figure it out. _We'll_ figure it out. I'm coming to see you at spring break."

"Darcy! Don't be ridiculous! Boulder, Colorado for spring break? Go somewhere fun and enjoy yourself. You'll have plenty of time to be bored here with me after you finish school."

"No, I don't care about partying. I want to see you. Send me that address, woman!"

oooOOOooo

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

"Show me who you really are, runt. Lau...fey...son. I want to see the Jotun."

"I...can't."

"You won't, you mean!"

Loki arched his back and clenched his teeth. Each torment was an individual piece of kindling. If he could just gather them all together, he could set them ablaze and turn himself to ashes. But they fell over each time, tumbling down his limbs, slamming into his back, tearing at his throat...throbbing, aching, biting, stinging.

"I want to see you, you filthy Frost Giant."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 243_

 _Colorado_

"Boss-lady. Just wanted to wish you luck on your first day tomorrow! Hope all the kids are nice to you."

"Thanks, Darce. You're the best. Don't know what I'd do without you."

"Are you...crying?"

"No, no, I'm not crying."

"You're crying! Jane! What's up, chick? You need me to come out there? I'm on the next plane."

"Don't be silly. I'm just...I'm just hormonal, I guess."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 245_

 _Culver University, Virginia_

"Erik?"

"Darcy."

"Hey, sorry, I've got a class in five. Can I call you back after?"

"Darcy, have you heard from Jane?"

"Yeah, I mean, I talked to her a couple of nights ago. Why?"

"Does she have the same phone number?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Do you know where she's been staying?"

"At her apartment. Why?"

"Do you have that address?"

"No. _Why, Erik?_ "

"The director of ESRL called. Jane didn't show up for her first day yesterday. She didn't come in this morning. She's not answering her phone, and no one knows where her apartment is. Darcy, Jane's missing."


	26. Chapter 25

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

Thanks as always to dristi5683. You're so talented!

* * *

 _Asgard_

"You wished to see me, my Queen?" The golden-eyed Guardian, helmet tucked under his arm, stood at the threshold of a tapestry-draped chamber.

A golden-haired woman looked up from her loom and smiled placidly. She spoke quietly to two white-clad attendants, and they immediately took their leave through an intricately carved door behind her. "Come in, Heimdall. Forgive me; I just need to tie these threads off."

Heimdall stepped into the room, taking in the vivid hues of the All-Mother's latest weaving, the rich play of light on the polished wood, the oval table set for tea.

"There," Frigga said. She gracefully rose to her feet and smoothed the heavy folds of her pale blue gown. Blessing him with another smile, she held her hand out to Heimdall. He bowed his head in deference. "Thank you for coming. I know it's not convenient to leave your post. Perhaps tea will make it worthwhile. Shall we?" she asked, gesturing to the table.

Heimdall set Hofund and his helmet on the chaise longue behind the table and took a seat. Silence rested while they each drank a cup of strong, sweet, revitalizing tea. Heimdall took several meat-filled pies. The queen ate two delicate biscuits while watching him savor the treats.

"It's good to see you, Heimdall. You so rarely join us for evening feasts. How are you?"

The Guardian brushed crumbs from his mouth. "I am the same as always, your Majesty. I see too much to be naive or unconcerned, but I see enough to never give up hope."

Frigga regarded him over the rim of her tea cup. "Perhaps you can give me hope as well."

"And how can I do that?"

"The All-Father spoke with me last night."

"Ah," said Heimdall. The vision of a minefield of fact versus truth shimmered before his glowing eyes.

"He said Loki has placed his rune mark on a Midgardian, that the prophecy has well and truly been set into motion." She looked to the partially finished tapestry. "Is this what you've seen?"

"My lady, it's not for me to—"

"I ask as a mother. Please. Has my son bonded himself to a mortal woman?"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 245_

 _Culver University, Virginia_

"What do you mean, 'Jane's missing'? That's crazy. Where have you looked?" Darcy shook her head, as if that would clear her thoughts.

"We don't have anywhere to look. No one—" Erik's voice cracked. "No one knows where she's staying."

This was wrong. This was not happening. Any second, Jane would call with some absent-minded-scientist explanation.

"She probably started some research project and forgot to go to work." Darcy tried to sound nonchalant. "The ELS place should have her address, shouldn't they? Didn't she fill out an I-9 for taxes?"

"ESRL-and no, they don't have an address. Jane promised to give HR an address when she found a place to rent. She gave them the name of her hotel, but she checked out of there more than a week ago."

 _Where could she be? What about the baby? Was this part of Loki's plan? I should never have let her go to Colorado by herself._ Her head was caught in a vise and her heart thumped painfully.

"What about her car? Her car! Erik, Jane bought a dark blue car right before she left New Mexico. It was a sedan, a Toyota, um, Camry. No, Corolla. I don't know the year, but I'm pretty sure it was a late model."

"That's good information, Darcy. Thank you. I'll pass it along to Agent Malone immediately."

Fear suddenly gave way to anger. "Hey-so what _is_ SHIELD doing to find her, anyway? It's their stupid fault she had to escape to Colorado."

Erik sighed. "We've notified the appropriate authorities in Boulder."

"And? Big freaking deal. What else are the goons doing? Don't they want to recover their missing asset?"

A few beats passed before Erik answered, "I'm not going to take that bait, Darcy." She felt a frisson of guilt. This was hard on him, too. "Listen, this isn't public knowledge, but a team from JDEF is heading to Boulder in a couple of hours."

"Are you going?"

"Yes, as support, and as someone who knows Jane. Thor is coming, too, in case something not-human is at play."

 _If you only knew..._ "I'm flying out there. And don't try to talk me out of it," she said. "I need to be there."

"I expected you would say that. I'll let you know where to find us. Take care."

oooOOOooo

 _Asgard_

Heimdall could not lie to his queen; he could only evade her questions and pray they wouldn't probe too deeply. "I witnessed no bonding ritual. Thor discovered a drawing of Loki's rune mark on Midgard. I reported this to the All-Father."

"Where did Thor find the drawing?"

"Among papers belonging to Jane Foster."

"And where did Jane Foster find it?"

"Jane was unable to say for certain. She told Thor that she had been searching for out-of-the-ordinary accounts, like the ones that had happened—"

"I'm interested in the truth, in what you saw, not in what Jane Foster said." The Queen cocked her head slightly, her direct gaze never wavering.

How foolish of him to imagine that Frigga might not catch the difference. _Steady_. "I did not see this particular incident. I can only report what I see."

"Yes, officially." Frigga lifted the teapot. "More tea?"

"No, thank you."

Frigga poured herself a fresh cup before again fixing him with her cerulean eyes. "How long have you been the Gatekeeper of Asgard?"

"For more than one thousand years."

"It's hard to remember any Gatekeepers but you. But there were others, weren't there? Before you?"

"Yes, your Majesty. There have been five others since the days of Buri."

"They haven't all lasted as long as you have."

Frigga gestured to the last meat pie, and Heimdall took it.

"No."

"You are the longest-serving Guardian. And some say the best. Do you know what sets you apart from these other men?"

It was clear that this was less a minefield than a game of chess. The queen was the most powerful player, of course. He saw where this line of questioning was headed, but he was helpless to extricate himself without breaking his oath as the Gatekeeper. And refusing to answer her questions would be in itself an answer.

"My queen?" he stalled.

She smiled. "You have never merely reported what you see. Your value to the throne of Asgard—and you are terribly valuable, indeed—lies in your ability to scan the realms. You watch, listen, perceive, then you sift. You weigh. You judge. And this judgment is what you bring to the All-Father. Thus you can assure him that a band of miners launching a revolution on Niflheim is not worth his concern, but that a tic in the jaw of the Vanir king must be addressed posthaste. It's your _wisdom_ that we treasure, Heimdall. So please don't belittle yourself or insult my intelligence."

In response, he ate the last bite of meat pie. Frigga laughed, then rang a small bell. A servant appeared to clear the table. Once they were alone again, Frigga spoke. "Jane Foster interests me. Frankly, I never expected a Midgardian to play any kind of role in the lives of my family. I know very little, save that Thor cares for her. What can you tell me about Jane Foster?"

Heimdall studied the grain of the wood in the table. Odin had never asked about Jane, dismissing her out of hand as insignificant. "She is a student of science, primarily concerned with studying the stars and investigating a way to travel beyond the bonds of Midgard."

"Why did you send Thor to her upon his banishment?"

Heimdall's eyes flew to Frigga's. "My lady, I—" Her raised eyebrows killed the denial forming on his lips. He feared he was but a pawn in this chess match. "I hoped she would help Thor. Unlike most of her kind, Jane is open to the idea of life outside of their planet."

"How do you know her so well? How long have you been watching her?"

"Since she was a small girl. Her love for the stars and her quest for knowledge and understanding intrigued me. But I had never interfered in her life before Thor's banishment. I simply..."

"Felt lonely. Don't look so surprised, Heimdall. I have often thought that yours is the most difficult role in Asgard. Odin carries the weight of the Nine Realms, to be sure, but he has his family, his advisors, adulation from thousands. _You_ stand alone."

Heimdall inclined his bronzed head, unwilling to comment. Frigga continued, "You hoped that Jane Foster would help Thor. What made you decide to secure help for Thor? Odin declared that Thor must find his own way back to Mjolnir, back to Asgard. Did you mistrust the All-Father?"

"Your Majesty, please, have mercy on me. Why do you ask such questions?"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 246_

 _ESRL, Boulder, Colorado_

Pacing restlessly, shoving her bangs out of her eyes, Darcy glared at her phone's silent screen, willing it to ring. Where was everyone? She was stuck in a conference room at ESRL, at SHIELD's mobile command unit. They had given her permission to man the phones, but only the trained agents (and Thor) were allowed to do field work.

"Darcy." She jumped at Erik's voice. He also had to stay behind, but at least he had a computer. "The agents are doing all that they can."

She stared out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the blue winter sky. The hugest lump in the world had lodged in her gut. Her throat ached with the weight of all Erik didn't know. Her head throbbed with the raging debate she'd been having with herself. Should she tell SHIELD about the bond with Loki and about the baby? What if Jane then turned up, safe and sound, only to find her life destroyed because Darcy couldn't keep her mouth shut? But what if Jane would never be found because Darcy hadn't told all that she knew? _I hate this so much._

The door clicked and Darcy whirled around. Thor trudged solemnly into the room, dressed in human garb. Two agents whose names Darcy couldn't remember followed him. Agent Malone brought up the rear. She took a step toward him, but he caught her eye and subtly shook his head. Miserable, she slumped into the nearest chair.

Malone cleared his throat. "That lead was a bust."

Erik frowned. "So what's our next step? We're not giving up yet, are we?"

Darcy bit her lip.

"No," Malone said. "We're authorized to be here for 72 hours, and I'm not planning to cut that short. I just want us to be clear that this is a pretty long shot. I think our next step will be to contact bars and casinos in a hundred-mile radius."

"Jane wouldn't have gone off on a bender," Darcy interjected.

"Jane wouldn't have failed to show up at work, either," Malone shot back.

Darcy opened her mouth, then shut it again.

Thor sat down by Erik. "I suggest we question Donald Blake."

Five sets of eyes swung towards Thor.

"Donald Blake?" Malone asked.

"Jane Foster's ex-husband," Thor explained.

"I know who he is," Malone said. "But as far as I know, they've had no contact in quite a while."

"We might be surprised by what we learn," Thor replied.

oooOOOooo

 _Asgard_

"Come, Heimdall. Look at this." Frigga swept to her loom and gestured to the half-finished design, abruptly changing the subject.

The Guardian studied the weaving. Its threads were luminous, almost living, depicting a battle. A black-haired figure with green seidr had to be Loki. A Frost Giant stood beside him. Thor was represented on one side, with Odin—on the ground? Watching from the sidelines? Heimdall couldn't be sure. What was clear, however, was the figure pictured prominently in the foreground. A woman with long brown hair, tiny in stature compared to the others, held Gungnir. _Jane._

The Queen briefly covered her face. "You see the vision that is being given to me? The fate of the All-Father-of Asgard-possibly all Nine Realms-hangs in the balance. We cannot afford to play games, to waste time, when the stakes are so critical. Tell me the truth, Heimdall. I beg you."

Unable to look away from the tapestry, Heimdall murmured, "Forgive me. I did alter Thor's path; I did ensure that Jane would find him. I believed I was acting in Asgard's best interests. I didn't fully trust the All-Father's judgment, it's true."

"There it is," Frigga said.

"I beg your pardon?" Heimdall asked, confused.

"There is the wisdom of which I was speaking. You aren't a slave to Odin; you are the Gatekeeper of Asgard. You know that even he is fallible."

"My queen, I am loyal to the All-Father. I believe that my performance over the last many centuries bears witness to my loyalty."

"Peace, Heimdall. I have not brought you here to ensnare you and discredit you. I seek wisdom. I confess that I also questioned the All-Father's decision to rashly hurl Thor to Midgard. Odin had withheld essential information from his sons. Who knows how their actions might have been different had they known earlier? And did Odin consider the consequences of sending Thor to a realm which forgot about Asgard long ago?"

He stared at Frigga in disbelief that she was sharing her semi-treasonous doubts.

She continued, "I love my husband. We are eternally bonded. His good is my good. I love my sons—both of them, as painful as that can be. And I love Asgard; I know you do, too. But there have been too many hasty decisions and half-understood consequences. You've just seen the vision the Norns have given me. You know the prophecy. So I ask you again, Heimdall: how did the drawing of Loki's rune mark come to be in Jane Foster's possession?"

"Very well, your Majesty," Heimdall began, his chest heavy from the weight of his words. "The answer to your question is not a simple one. I beg your forbearance as I tell this tale. Greater wisdom might come from patient listening."

The Queen gestured to the couch. "Sit down, please." She sat in the chair by her loom.

"Thank you, but I'm accustomed to standing. After Thor's restoration and return home, he often asked me about Jane. I told him that she was experiencing difficulty sleeping in the aftermath of the Destroyer's attack."

Frigga nodded. "This I knew."

"I did not disclose the extent of Jane's distress. I knew Thor would be distracted and troubled by his inability to help her. She wasn't merely having trouble sleeping. She was plagued by nightmares which left her mind nearly broken. Jane rarely slept or ate, and so her body grew dangerously weak as well. Her friends and associates were greatly concerned for her. Then she began fading from my sight. This isn't in itself a cause for concern. I do not see all souls clearly at all times. It was puzzling, though, that Jane seemed to be growing stronger. I could not determine by what method, with what help, she was healing."

Then came the day that Loki revealed himself standing by the Tesseract. I reported this immediately to the All-Father, and he elected to send Thor back to Midgard." Heimdall shifted his weight and fixed his eyes on the tapestry.

"I did not reveal to Odin all that Loki said that day." Heimdall sensed, rather than saw, Frigga stir in her chair. "He...he asked me to protect Jane, that her mind was a priceless treasure that had to be kept safe for the good of the Nine Realms."

"Loki had threatened Jane's life. Why would he now ask for her protection? And why would Jane need protection? From whom?"

"I was as shocked then as you are now. I hadn't known if Loki was alive or dead, and suddenly there he was, announcing himself..." His voice trailed off as he remembered that day. "He said Jane would need protection from Odin, from Asgard."

"But _why_ , Heimdall?" Frigga's voice was sharp.

"Loki _claimed_ to have bonded with Jane"—he flinched at Frigga's gasp—"but he stressed that she was not to blame."

"And you reported none of this to the All-Father?"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 247_

 _ESRL, Boulder, Colorado_

"Congratulations, Don! Those photos are beautiful, as is Lydia. Best wishes to you both...yes, you too. Goodbye." Erik disconnected the call, then folded his arms over his wrinkled dress shirt.

"What did Donald Blake have to say for himself?" asked Thor.

"He and his new wife returned home this morning after a week-long honeymoon cruise in the Caribbean. Don sends his best regards to his former associates at SHIELD. Including Jane. I didn't tell him-didn't want to spoil his good mood." Erik rubbed his forehead. "I think we can cross him off the list of persons of interest."

"Donald Blake just took a wife?" Thor asked, lines appearing between his eyebrows. "Midgardians move very quickly. Perhaps he was lying. I should pay him a personal visit."

Erik held his hand up as if to stop Thor. "Woah, wait a minute. Quickly? Don and Jane were over a couple of years ago. What is your problem with him?"

The Asgardian shot a glance at Darcy, then replied, "He's Jane's ex. And I heard their breakup was ugly."

Nodding his head, Erik said, "Yes, it was, but for professional reasons. He put his name on some of her research."

Darcy's eyebrows shot up. "And he lived to tell the tale?"

"I don't think he tells any tales. It put a black mark on his academic record."

Thor slapped the table, making everyone jump. "There! There's reason for him to wish Jane ill."

Erik frowned. "Donald has no reason to seek revenge. He changed careers entirely, found a decent job out East. He just got married again. What benefit would he get from harming Jane?"

Malone set his cup on the table next to Darcy more forcefully than was strictly necessary. "Gentlemen, this is a fascinating discussion, I'm sure. We are not going to harass Donald Blake. Dr. Selvig, please get that list of bars for me."

"I'd be happy to, Agent Malone," said Erik. "Thanks."

Thor pushed away from the table, muttering about getting some coffee. Malone rested his hips against the table and eyed Darcy. "Do you have any ideas for us, Miss Lewis? You've spent more time recently with Dr. Foster than anyone else has."

She had plenty of ideas, but none of them that she felt she could share with Nicholas. Maybe it had been a bad idea to come out to Colorado. She should have stayed in Virginia, where she couldn't really help, but she couldn't really hurt, either.

"Uh, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not an agent," Darcy hemmed.

"You know Jane Foster," Malone stated. Much more quietly, he added, "I don't really know her at all. I'm here for you, because I know she means so much to you."

Darcy stared into his velvet eyes. Wha...? "Um, well, she loves looking at stars. She loves that more than just about anything else. Have you checked with, you know, star-watching places around here?" There. That seemed safe. "We keep talking about Jane doing stuff that's out-of-character for her. What if she's off doing something that's completely _in_ character?"

Malone nodded, keeping his gaze locked with hers. "That is the best idea yet, Miss Lewis. We checked with the university observatory here in Boulder, but we haven't looked further."

oooOOOooo

 _Asgard_

Heimdall turned to face his queen. "I confess I didn't report all of Loki's words. This news, broken hastily to Odin and Thor, would have been like a volcano of Muspelheim erupting into the palace. Odin would have reacted on the basis of the prophecy. And Thor would have reacted with passion and violence—"

"Because Loki had stolen the woman he loved from him."

"Yes. But Loki is...Loki. The Liesmith. I had witnessed no such bonding ritual. What if this was a lie told to get exactly that explosive, hasty reaction? Instead, I ensured that Thor was sent to Midgard, which still accomplished the purposes of protecting and defending the realms, without the needless haze of jealousy. My lady, you just told me that we have made too many hasty decisions."

Frigga looked away, and Heimdall breathed more easily. "I also considered what I know of Jane. She had been nearly ruined by her encounter with the Destroyer, which she knew to have been sent by Loki. Loki is what she hates and fears the most in the entire world. It made no sense that she had willingly bonded herself to him."

"Forgive me, Heimdall."

"Please, my Queen. You mustn't ask for my forgiveness. I'm merely asking you to try to understand why I did what I did. The truth—though I doubt I have untangled all of it—has turned out to be something I never expected." Abruptly, he asked, "Do you have anything stronger than tea?"

Frigga laughed lightly, then furrowed her smooth brow when Heimdall didn't smile. "No, but I could..." She rang the bell again and murmured to the servant.

"I think I will sit down," Heimdall said. Frigga nodded and gestured to the couch. Instead, he pulled one of the dining chairs to face hers. The attendant returned with a decanter and two faceted glasses.

Frigga poured a dark amber liquid into one of the glasses and handed it to Heimdall. "Thank you," he said, and drained the shot. Fire tore down his throat, exploded in his gut, and teased across his muscles. "You might want one, too."

She shook her head. "I'll wait." Heimdall noted a slight tremor in her laced fingers.

"Jane Foster accompanied Thor to study the Tesseract. You already knew that. The Tesseract likes her. Very much. Largely thanks to her, the Midgardians have made astounding progress in learning to harness its power. Jane even suspects its true purpose. While at this scientific facility, Jane learned that Loki was still alive and had promised to return for the Tesseract. Instead of cowering in fear, she redoubled her efforts to design a scheme to defend Midgard from outside invasions."

Heimdall extended his glass toward Frigga. "May I?" She refilled the tumbler, her brow tight.

He sipped the liquor this time, allowing the bite to soothe him. He wasn't accustomed to butterflies in his stomach. But sitting across from Frigga, telling her this story... "I'm making a long story even longer than it needs to be." Heimdall gave a half-smile. Frigga remained stone-faced.

"Jane became ill, both physically and psychically. Inexplicable events happened to her and around her. She feared the Tesseract was affecting her, and she hid this illness from Thor and the Midgardian authorities out of fear that they would imprison her. Jane returned to New Mexico and began a secret search for answers. Thor unwittingly provided the most important piece of information, when he identified Loki's rune mark."

Heimdall paused again, gathering his thoughts. Before he could continue, Frigga leaned forward.

"You've told me that Jane Foster has seen firsthand the destruction that Loki is capable of causing. You've testified that she worked diligently to defend Midgard against an attack. She is a highly intelligent, disciplined master of science. She recognized that this symbol was important. And yet she was—how did you put it—'unable to say for certain' where she had seen it."

"Yes, All-Mother. She was terrified to tell Thor the truth."

"And what was the truth?" Frigga's voice, while passionless, was deadly. "Whom was Jane Foster protecting? Where did she find the rune mark? With whom has Loki bonded?"

The threads of the Norns tightened around his heart. "Forgive me," Heimdall whispered, uncertain to whom he said it. "The rune bond mark is on her own left wrist. As unlikely as it seems, Loki was being honest that day. Jane Foster has bound herself to him."

Frigga abruptly stood from her chair. Reflexively, Heimdall followed suit. The Queen laid her hand on the tapestry, eyes shut as though she were in great pain. "Why did you not tell me this from the beginning? Do you not understand what is at stake?"

"My queen...please...there's more you must know before you choose any action."

"Odin must know immediately. You've delayed long enough." Frigga fixed him with a freezing blue stare and picked up her bell.

"Your Majesty, I beg you to listen to me. Loki swore it wasn't Jane's fault."

"But of course he would say that to protect his schemes. He's the Liesmith, remember?"

"I think this was also the truth. You did not see Jane's breakdown the day she realized what she carried on her body." _And what she carries within her body_ , he thought. "She was hysterical, nearly insane with fury and grief."

"How could that be? How can one accidentally enter into an eternal bond?"

He sighed. "There are more tangles yet in the fabric of this tale. Please allow me to finish unburdening myself. Then, when you know all that I know, I will accept your wise decision. But please do not be hasty." _I can't tell you all that I know yet._

Frigga searched his face. What she was looking for, he did not know. But after an eternity, she set the bell down, unrung.

"Loki has obviously grown in his ability to cloak himself and others. This must be why Jane Foster was often difficult to see in those days. I believe that Loki disguised his true self from Jane. She swore to me that she hadn't known any of it was real."

The queen shook her head. "But how?"

Heimdall sighed. "Loki entered her dreams, pretending to be a construct of her own mind. She called him Kai. He helped her banish the debilitating nightmares-he was the reason she grew stronger-and he encouraged her to return to her scientific pursuits. She was isolated, vulnerable, and she gradually fell in love with Kai. And, well..."

"Loki wants the Tesseract," Frigga said flatly. "But he can't simply grab an Infinity Stone. He needs Jane's help. Oh, Loki." Frigga appeared lost in her thoughts for a moment. "He neutralizes Jane Foster; she cannot seek to harm him now. And he exacts revenge against Thor, by forever putting Jane out of his reach."

Heimdall nodded his head. "If I may...one question has perplexed me. How did Loki fool the rune magic? You understand the working of this ritual far better than I."

Frigga shook her head sadly. "All that is required is for each person to truly wish to be bonded to the other for eternity. We assume this means deep love and commitment to each other. Apparently, Loki's desire for revenge and power was enough to satisfy the rune magic."

She continued, "So, Jane Foster didn't understand what she was doing when she entered into an eternal bond covenant with Loki. But bond with Loki she did, and I can't ignore the prophetic implications."

"I agree with you, your Majesty. May I propose that we keep a close watch on Jane? It has appeared that she is doing everything in her power to dissociate herself from Loki, including distancing herself from the Tesseract in order not to inadvertently assist him. If I lose sight of her or if her behavior changes, I vow to alert you immediately."

Frigga closed her eyes again. "Very well."

His heart lifted slightly, then plunged again. _Both she and Jane trust me, and I'm betraying them both even now._

oooOOooo

 _Day 248_

 _ESLR, Boulder, Colorado_

"Darcy?" The voice swam above her. She swatted it away, not wanting it to disturb her sleep.

"Darcy, wake up."

She sat bolt upright in the conference chair. Erik. Dread and panic and hope sluiced through her belly.

"H'llo, I'm here, I'm awake," she babbled. "Are they back? Where's Jane?"

"Darcy." He sounded old and heavy. Her heart squeezed.

"I'm here," she repeated.

"Malone just called. They're at that park the ranger called from."

"What park?"

"The-I don't know, the place that's supposed to be good for stargazing. The Black Canyon of something or other. That's not important. Darcy, they've found Jane's car."

For a weightless moment, Darcy felt her heart floating. Where would it land? "And Jane?"

He bowed his head. "They haven't found her yet. Her backpack was found, though, by the river. They are sending a water search team in at first light."

 _Crash_.

oooOOOooo

 _Asgard_

"Heimdall," Frigga said. "Tell me what Jane Foster is doing now, please."

"Of course, your Majesty." The Guardian briefly closed his eyes before opening them and staring fixedly ahead. Barely a minute later, he frowned, rubbed his brow, and repeated the same sequence.

"What is it?"

"I'm having difficulty locating Jane. She isn't where I expected her to be. I'll find her, I always find her, it's just—"

"Heimdall, what is it?" Frigga stepped closer to him.

"Thor is calling out to me. He sounds distressed."


	27. Chapter 26

_A/N: I haven't been able to update as often as I'd like, so I hope this looooonnnnggg chapter makes you all happy. All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc. Thanks, dristi5683! You are a great help._

* * *

 _Day 227_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

Jane picked up the manila envelope. The guy from Rising Tide had handed it to her when she'd gotten the car in Albuquerque. "Open it when you get to your first destination," he had said. "Oh, and you'll need to know this password phrase..."

Here she was, in a budget hotel in Boulder. Her first destination. Where would the next location be? She unsealed the envelope, then hesitated. Maybe such drastic measures weren't necessary. She could just take the nice job at the Earth Systems Research Laboratory, keep a low profile, mind her own business—

"Ooff," she grunted. "That was a hard kick, kid." Alie was growing rapidly. She—he?—was already punching and kicking at a time when most pregnant mamas hadn't felt a flutter yet. This baby was unmistakably extraordinary. Keeping a low profile probably wasn't going to work out. Jane needed to have "no profile."

So she sat down and upended the envelope. A mobile phone slid out onto the generic bedspread. Jane experimentally pushed the power button; it started up right away. She peered inside the envelope and drew out one sheet of paper. "Possible rentals" was scrawled across the top. Below that were three phone numbers. One of them had "call this one first—promising!" penned next to it. She picked up the unfamiliar phone and slowly tapped in the digits.

It rang twice, then a man said, "Hello?"

"Hello, um, Uncle Frank? It's me."

"Yes?"

"Aunt Betty said I should call when I arrived," Jane said carefully. It was important to get the passphrase right.

"Hang on."

"Okay. Thanks." Jane held her breath until a woman came on the line.

"Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me, Aunt Betty. I'm here safely. In my hotel room."

"Oh, I'm glad. How was your drive?"

"It was fine."

"Good, good. What will you do tomorrow?"

"I'll make some calls, look for a place to rent. Wednesday I go meet my new boss."

"I sure hope we can find you a nice place to rent soon. Anything else you need?"

 _Safety. Reassurance. Salvation. A miracle._

"No, I'm fine. Talk to you later, Aunt Betty."

Jane flopped down on the plasticky hotel pillows, then winced. Lying on her back was getting uncomfortable. She shifted to her side and was greeted by a kick, then another. And another. She pressed her hand to her belly.

"Easy, Alie. Mama's had a tough couple of days." _Kick._ "I'm really tired." _Kick._ Jane sighed. "You're already pig-headed, aren't you? Guess you come by that naturally. I've been told I'm a bit stubborn, and your father—"

Jane bit her words off and hauled herself upright. There was no point in going down _that_ road. She shivered, absorbing one of the waves of grief that washed over her more and more frequently. The goodbyes in New Mexico the day before had wrenched her heart in a way she hadn't dared let her friends see. After picking up the Toyota from "that guy," she had driven only a couple of miles before she had to pull over, blinded by tears.

But she had resolved not to indulge in self-pity or recriminations any longer, so after a good, cleansing cry, she'd headed north on interstate 25. Leaving your life behind was hard. She shivered again, this time goosebumps raising on her arms. _I need to put on another layer of clothes_.

oooOOOooo

Sometimes, if she stayed up long enough, if she exhausted herself, she didn't dream. It had been two weeks since her last encounter with Loki, and Jane was eager to extend the streak. She had learned to watch for the signs that Loki was beaming in. Some nights he didn't appear, and other nights she had no recollection of dreaming. Those were the best nights.

So far this evening, the late-night television show wasn't helping her stay awake. The jokes weren't funny and the guests seemed embarrassed to be there. The ergonomically incorrect "easy" chair, on the other hand, _was_ keeping her eyes open, as was the heartburn from dinner. The combined effect left her drowsy and in a grouchy mood.

Grocery shopping was on her to-do list for tomorrow. The food from Isabel was nearly gone, and eating out every meal was expensive and hard on her pregnant tummy. There wasn't a kitchen in the hotel room, but she had a microwave and a tiny fridge. She'd make do.

The boring TV show ended and another began. Jane sighed. Three boxes full of the hard copies of her research sat in the corner of the hotel room. She could start the work of sifting through that.

 _Ugh. Not tonight._

A chill ran through her. Jane frowned; she was wearing flannel pajamas and had set the thermostat to a generous 72 degrees. _Oh please, I can't get sick._ Her throat didn't hurt, though she did have a slight headache. Maybe she could get warm under the covers. She wouldn't go to sleep; she'd just watch TV from the bed and...

oooOOOooo

The two paper sacks of groceries were so full Jane couldn't see where she was going. She hoped Darcy hadn't left anything laying on the floor. Depositing the bags on the kitchen counter, Jane grabbed the carton of milk and turned to open the fridge.

Loki loomed in front of her, anger contorting his face.

A paper carton of milk doesn't shatter, but explodes, Jane discovered. She whirled away from the furious demi-god, heading for shelter in the bathroom. He was faster and blocked her path.

"Where have you been?" he snarled.

His breathing was labored, noted the part of her brain not consumed with the fight-or-flight response. The rest of her brain commanded her feet to _run!_ Jane sidestepped Loki, darted into the bathroom, and locked the door.

"Answer me!" demanded his voice from behind her. Fear jolted her blood. She whirled around. Loki narrowed his eyes at her. Reflexively, she hunched her shoulders and cradled her belly. "Did you think a flimsy Midgardian door would keep me out?" he asked. "Did you think you could hide forever? You've caused me a great deal of pain, Jane Foster. Those who do so usually suffer a prolonged, painful demise. How fortunate for you that I need you alive."

 _Fortunate? I'm fortunate to have attracted Loki's attention?_ Even in her panicked state, Jane appreciated the absurdity. She couldn't stifle a hiccup of laughter.

Loki took a menacing step toward her, breathing raggedly. "Do you dare mock me?"

Jane straightened and dropped her arms. The moment of levity had cleared her head. _This is my lab. We're in Puente Antiguo. This is a dream. I'm not really at Loki's mercy._ Faking a calmness she didn't feel yet, she said, "I wouldn't dream of mocking you, Loki. I've been nothing but _fortunate_ in my association with you."

"I will punish your defiance!" He advanced on her, but she stood her ground and took her time looking him over. The green and gold military outfit he wore looked like it had seen a number of battles. _Was that blood on the sleeve?_ His face was even paler than usual and covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Bruises marred his temples and cheekbones. His hair was stringy and limp, strands clinging to his face.

"What defiance? As I recall," Jane said, "the last time we met, you warned me to stay out of your dreams or I would pay dearly."

"Do not twist my words!" Loki suddenly grabbed both her arms and pulled her against his chest. She was pressed against him from shoulder to knee. The rune brand on her wrist sang at the physical contact, but she wasn't fooled this time. This was violence, a display of power to force her to his will. This wasn't Kai.

Jane turned her head to the side to avoid being crushed into his breastplate. _Stay calm. This isn't real. Not completely, anyway._ She braced herself and said, "You need to make up your mind." _Try to figure out what's going on._ "What do you want from me? And what do you want with the Tesseract?"

"I don't _want_ anything from you, mortal. And the Tesseract is none of your concern."

"Great. I'll be on my way, then."

His grip tightened. "I forbid it! You won't leave!"

"No? You were the one who taught me that I'm in control in my dreams."

"You can't," he demanded, but she was already using the trick she'd learned.

"This is only a dream. I'm going to wake up in five, four, three, two, one..."

Jane didn't sleep the rest of the night, but watched junk television, chilled to the bone, still feeling the imprint of his fingers on her tender skin.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 228_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

"Hello, I'm calling about the apartment for rent...oh, okay. Thank you."

"Yes, I'm enquiring about the house for rent...uh-huh...no, I don't actually have references. But I—goodbye."

"Hello, is the apartment on Pine Street still available? Great. Could I see it? Yes, I'm available tomorrow. At four? Jane Foster. Thank you."

oooOOOooo

Apples, a big bag of salad, a loaf of bread, a half-gallon of milk, a couple of cartons of yogurt, and a block of good cheddar. That should hold her for a couple of days. Oh, and a hot water bottle. She was still shivering.

After spending a miserable night avoiding sleep, Jane had expected to greet the dawn with a fever and sore throat, but neither materialized. Nothing seemed to be wrong except that she felt like her core temperature had dropped. Could it be some kind of stress reaction? She made a mental note to look it up later.

For now, she had work to do. Jane tossed a pillow onto the floor and tried to make herself comfortable as she began the tedious process of sorting loose papers and thumbing through notebooks. Most of the mass was suitable for recycling. Some of the papers she'd prefer to burn—too bad she hadn't done this while she was still in Puente Antiguo. Occasionally, she'd come across a "keep" document and snap a photo of it with her new phone.

And still she shivered.

Her stomach growled. "Hungry already?" She glanced at her phone. Six o'clock. "All right, just give me a second." Jane flipped through the last few pages of a spiral-bound notebook from her last year of grad school (oh, those happy naive times), then set it on the recycle pile and grabbed the next one out of the box. She'd look at it while eating the deli sandwich and pickles stashed in the fridge.

"Yum. Roast beef. This is good stuff, kid." Jane opened the notebook and chuckled. This one was just from last year. "Guess I'm not that chronologically organized, huh?"

The contents were mostly benign stuff—notes on the research she was doing before aliens started falling like stars to the surface of the Earth. A few pages were filled with her questions and observations about Thor. This was evidently one notebook SHIELD hadn't gotten their hands on. One page contained a hastily written note about the Destroyer and seeing Thor transformed. Jane paused, but there was no anxiety in the memory. "Life's moved on to a whole new level of weird," she whispered.

She turned several more leaves, but they were blank. This notebook had apparently been abandoned after the trauma. "Shred!" she declared, and tossed it across the room. A napkin fluttered out of the flying notebook. _What was that?_ She squinted at the nearly-illegible markings. "Oh," she breathed, feeling the shock of discovery again. These were Darcy's notes from that day in Isabel's cafe. _Thor:_ _Asgardian_ _Aesir. Loki:_ _Aesir_ _Frost Giant?_

Of course—the odd chills she'd been having. How could she have forgotten, even for a second? Loki wasn't Aesir. He was Jotun. A _Frost_ Giant. A species she knew virtually nothing about.

Yay. _And the hits just keep on coming, kids._

"Is it too hot in there for you, Alie? Are you trying to turn the AC on?"

oooOOOooo

Jane tidied up from her modest dinner, then sat staring into space, trying hard to think about nothing. After she tired of this impossible task, she sighed and stood up, feeling the weariness in every muscle. It was no use trying to stay awake tonight. Maybe it was smarter to see how much sleep she could get before Loki ruined it.

She filled the hot water bottle and pushed it under the covers to the foot of the bed, then hesitated.

"Do you mind if I warm my feet?" Jane asked her bump. No answer was forthcoming.

She performed her bedtime ablutions and pulled on the flannel pajamas, then stripped them off again. She was cold, but she didn't want Alie to be too warm. "Ugh," she groaned. "A manual would have been helpful."

Jane crawled into bed. The hot water bottle felt heavenly at her feet, but still she felt a chill. Would it keep her awake? Jane tried to imagine New Mexico in the summer, a hot dry heat...

oooOOOooo

The milk was still in a puddle on the floor, the busted container on its side. Jane froze and scanned the lab, alert for any movement or that magicky feeling that meant Loki was on his way. But the lab seemed safe. Empty and...cold? Jane shivered. Ugh.

"Alie," she whispered, "it would be nice if I didn't have to feel cold even in my dreams."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 229_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

Daylight filtered through the cheap hotel blinds. Jane groaned and buried her face in the pillow. Time to get going. She couldn't sleep the day away, though it was tempting. If only she could get warm and stay warm. At least she hadn't had to face Loki in her dreams.

oooOOOooo

"What can I get for you?"

"What's your best drink?"

"How about the chai latte?"

"Sounds good. I'm going to be working around here and I need a go-to coffee shop, you know?"

"Where will you be working, if you don't mind me asking?"

"At the NOAA lab."

"That's pretty close by. Welcome to the neighborhood! Here you go. Hope to see you back soon!"

oooOOOooo

"So just fill this application out; it's standard. Bring it back with proof of income and we'll let you know."

"Thanks. Um, do I get that proof of income from an employer?"

"That's right."

"Okay. I'm brand-new at my job, so I'm just learning the ropes."

"Where do you work?"

"At ESRL, the lab over by the university."

oooOOOooo

One box was empty. Jane packed the notebooks back into it. She needed to find a shredding center. "At least I'm more organized than I've been in a while. I think I've earned a warm bath before bed. What do you say, Alie?"

oooOOOooo

That darn milk was still on the floor. And the groceries were on the counter.

"I shouldn't have to clean up in a dream, should I?" Jane grumbled.

"I shouldn't think so," came the reply.

Jane swore. How could she have let a stupid puddle of milk distract her?

"My sentiments exactly," Loki said.

She reluctantly turned. He stood by the dining table, keeping his distance this time. He looked exactly as awful as he had two nights before. Where was he, really? What was happening to him?

"Get out," she said calmly.

"Jane, please," he began.

She shrugged. "If you won't leave, then I will. This is only a dream..."

"I need your help..."

"I'm going to wake up in..."

"I don't like it..."

"...five..."

"I hardly think I deserve to need _your_ help..."

"...four..."

"...but there you have it."

"...three..."

"I'm losing my mind!"

"...two..."

"Don't you feel better when you're with me?"

"...one..."

Jane blinked her eyes, grateful to be in her little hotel room. She laughed. _Don't you feel better when you're with me?_ Add that to the list of utterly ridiculous quotes from Loki.

A deep shiver shook her. Her eyes opened wide and she sat up straight in her bed. She hadn't felt cold at all for the couple of minutes she'd been with Loki in her dream. Another string of curses escaped her lips.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 230_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

"Dr. Foster. We are honored to have you working with us at ESRL."

"It's really my pleasure. I only hope I can help you, as my experience is in phenomena beyond Earth's atmosphere."

"Your recent unpublished work on the effect of interdimensional bridges on the ozone layer is germaine to our research. You will be a valuable resource to our staff."

"I look forward to joining you in a couple of weeks. Thank you for making me feel welcome."

"Is there any way we can help you settle in to life in Boulder?"

"Actually, I have a question about life outside of Boulder. I'd love to get your recommendation for the best place to watch the sky. I know there's an amazing observatory here on campus, but where can I go to be out in nature and watch meteor showers? I'll always be an astrophysicist at heart."

"Hmm...it's several hours away, but there's Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park. I personally know several astronomers who won't go anywhere else to watch the sky. Plus the wilderness is simply breathtaking."

oooOOOooo

"I'm fine, Darce, really I am. You know, I think everything's going to be fine. Getting away from SHIELD and out of Puente Antiguo was just what I needed. Lots of women are single moms with exes they'd rather forget. You helped me through the worst part. I'll always be grateful."

oooOOOooo

Flickering light teased the edges of her sleep. Jane stepped through the oversized doorway. A robust fire danced in a massive stone fireplace, throwing her shadow up to the high vaulted ceiling. Tall arched windows reflected the golden radiance. Seduced by the promise of warmth, Jane drew closer to the hearth.

Something about this room tickled her memory. Was this a castle she had visited for stargazing? Somewhere in Scotland, perhaps? Jane turned, looking for a point of familiarity. Her eye landed on an ancient astronomy instrument, perched in a position of honor on an ornate table. _An old astrolabe! Beautiful!_

An astrolabe. A large stone fireplace. Cathedral ceiling and arched windows. The pieces falling into place made a nearly-audible _click_ in her mind. Jane slowly turned. There was the immense four-poster bed with drapes. Emerald green velvet drapes, to be precise. She _had_ been here before. Once before. Just for a night. _The_ night.

All of which meant that the roaring fire wasn't the true reason she felt warm. Loki must be here somewhere. Stupid deceitful dream. Jane refused to look for Loki; she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She drew a breath, prepared to recite her mantra.

Before she could utter a syllable, a honey-smooth voice flowed through the room. "This is only a dream." It was Kai's voice, the one pitched low to entice. _Don't look around, Jane. Don't do it._

Jane gritted her teeth, and tried again. "This—"

"Is only a dream, Jane. It _is_ only a dream. What happens here doesn't have to have any consequences when you awaken."

She almost choked. No consequences? She wasn't falling for _that_ line again.

He continued in that hypnotizing voice, "Won't you please stay? Just for a while? Come, sit down, enjoy the fire. I won't raise my voice this time. I certainly won't touch you."

Jane closed her eyes, willing herself to say the words to end this dream. But she was warm when she hadn't stopped shivering in days. And her head didn't hurt. And she could wake up whenever she wanted to, couldn't she? So she opened her eyes and turned, looking for Loki.

"I'm here, on the other side of the fireplace."

Jane frowned and faced the fireplace again. And she saw what she hadn't noticed before—what surely hadn't been there before: the towering fireplace was not part of a wall of the room, but was freestanding, dividing two halves of the chamber. She slowly walked around the stone structure.

Here was the working side of the room. There were windows only on the far wall. Books lined the other two sides from floor to ceiling. A great wooden work table stretched in front of the windows, cluttered with papers and glass and instruments...a lab of sorts. And in front of the fireplace were two large ( _of course_ ) leather armchairs and a low table. The table was set for tea, and Loki sat in one of the armchairs, eyes burning into hers. She blinked and looked away.

"Won't you sit down, Jane?" he asked.

"I didn't know there were two sides to this room," she blurted.

Loki smiled politely. "How could you know? I don't believe you've visited the royal palace of Asgard."

"I was here—" _Shut. Up. Jane. Foster._ She shook her head. "Never mind. My mistake."

"Sit down, please," he urged. She complied, sinking into the empty chair, folding her hands on her lap. _What am I doing?_

"Tea?" he asked.

 _Loki is offering me tea. Loki is being polite. Loki is clearly playing an angle. Be careful._ "No, thank you."

"Are you comfortable, Jane?"

Why did he keep saying her name? When had she stopped insisting he call her Dr. Foster?

"I am comfortable, thank you." And she was. It felt wonderful to be free of the deep coldness. The chair was amazing, the room was a visual feast, the fire was soothing, and the company was...suspect.

"You look terrible."

Jane snorted. "Thanks, Loki. You look pretty rough yourself." And he did. The circles under his eyes, the hollows under his sharp cheekbones, the slight trembling in his hands...wherever he actually was, whatever he was actually doing these days, it was not a picnic. It probably took a considerable amount of energy to appear relaxed and polite.

"I doubt you are sleeping well, Jane."

"I doubt you are sleeping at all, _Loki_. Are you truly asleep even now?"

"How do you feel at this moment?"

"How do _you_ feel?"

Surprisingly, he ended the volley and answered. "I'm free to think again. I feel no pain. My chest, my head, my...other complaints. A soothing balm has been applied and I'm enjoying the respite, brief though it may be."

"That's nice," she answered automatically.

Loki leaned forward, his gaze suddenly flinty, his voice taking on a fine edge. "It's _not_ nice. It's maddening, actually. It torments me nearly as much as the pain itself."

She had no idea what the right thing was to say, so she said nothing.

"Ask me why this state of affairs vexes me."

"No, thank you."

" _Ask...me_ ," he repeated, low and dangerous. He was keeping his word not to raise his voice, but this was perhaps worse.

"Why does the relief bother you as much as the pain?" _Why am I humoring him?_ Because you're not shivering, the traitorous voice in her head answered.

"Because _you_ are what takes my pain away. When I meet you in a dream, I feel restored. Whole."

"And why is that a problem? I mean, so what? If it works, who cares?" Jane asked, in a flash of misguided indignation.

"Do I truly have to explain this to you again, _human_?"

"Loki..." she warned.

"I am _Prince Loki_ to you," he growled. "I am your superior. Why are you what I need? Who crafted this—this _humiliation_?"

Yeah, this had been a bad idea. A really bad idea. She needed to get out of this dream. But before she woke up...Jane stood and held her left arm out, the rune mark plainly visible. " _You_ did. _You_ 'crafted this humiliation,' _Prince Loki_. This was all your idea. And for being so superior, you're pretty stupid. I'm the only thing that takes away your pain? Really? Then you'd best stop causing me so much of it." Jane headed for the door, reciting, "This is a dream. I will wake up when I count to five—"

"Jane!"

Without turning around, she answered, "It's _Dr. Foster_ to you. Five, four, three, two, one."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 231_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

She hated him. This was the fuel that got her exhausted body through a day spent grocery shopping, doing laundry, sorting, and researching, before collapsing into bed.

 _I hate him. I hate him. I hate him._

oooOOOooo

The second Jane closed her eyes, she found herself in an vast marble hallway, the ornately carved door to Loki's chambers in front of her.

 _I hate him._

She slid to the ground, knowing she should wake herself up but desperate for sleep. A tear slowly tracked down her cheek.

 _I hate him._

Footsteps resounded through the passageway. Jane squeezed her eyes shut and covered her head in a defensive posture, unable to face her antagonist. The steps stopped in front of her. Jane refused to look up. She hated appearing weak, but she hated him more. After a long pause, the owner of the footsteps walked away. She waited another while, then opened her eyes. A folded paper lay by her feet. Jane unfolded the note and read the spidery script:

 _Dr. Foster: If you would do me the great honor of sitting with me for a while, I promise that I will do you the honor of ignoring you completely. Yours, Loki_

Loki didn't think that was an apology, did he? Did he think that she would just run to him like some lap dog at the promise of a treat? He was clever, though. It was tempting: to be warm and comfortable _and_ not to have to deal with his razor tongue. But he would just find another way to demean her. It wasn't worth it.

Jane had always prided herself on avoiding the toxic relationships in which so many of her school friends and colleagues found themselves trapped. She was a woman of science first, emotions second. She didn't need a man to complete her—she was already whole. Few men held her interest or met her rigorous standards. The handful of romantic relationships she had allowed herself had all ended when she felt pressured to lessen herself to keep the man's interest. Even her attempt at marriage had failed the moment Don tried to take credit for some of her work, assuming that a good little wife would support her husband no matter what. The system worked for her; kept her strong and protected.

Until the Asgardian gods invaded and scrambled her brains.

Now, despite being so careful for so many years, despite saying no to plenty of great guys, despite steeling herself time after time to do what was best for her, not what she wanted—despite all this, here she sat. Trapped in some sort of weird bond with a man—alien—who was manipulative, untrustworthy, and emotionally abusive. At best. It was costing her all that she held dear.

There wasn't a single thing she could do about it. And worst of all? A very small part of her still wanted him. She had become one of those women she'd always pitied.

Alie shifted, probably protesting Jane's hunched position. She straightened her back, rubbed her belly, and remembered that she wasn't responsible just for herself, but for another life. Pathetic woman or not, she needed to keep her strength up for her baby.

Jane slowly, ungracefully got to her feet. _Listen, Foster. We're going to go in there because a warm, rested mama is what is best for Alie. We are not going to let him push our buttons this time._ She squared her shoulders, put on her best poker face, pushed open the door, and padded around the brightly burning fireplace.

There sat the dark Odinson— _Laufeyson?_ —arms tightly crossed over his chest, scowling into the fire.

Jane sank into the empty chair and found a second note next to the tea tray: _Please feel free to help yourself. The tea is excellent._

True to Loki's word, he gave no indication that he was aware of her. But soon after she settled into the armchair, sipping a mug of what was, indeed, delicious tea, a low moan of relief escaped him. Jane sat in silence, soaking up the warmth of the fire, absorbed in her thoughts ( _Is this wrong? Am I enabling him? How can I take physical comfort from being with such an evil person? I hate him)_ until she slid into a deeper, dreamless sleep.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 232_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

"Black Canyon Motel; how can I help you?"

"Good morning. How close to the National Park are you?"

"Let's see. We're about twenty minutes from the South Rim Visitor Center. That's the only thing open this time of year."

"Great. I'd like to make a reservation, please."

oooOOOooo

 _Shall we do this again, Dr. Foster?_ Jane took the note off the door and stepped over the threshold into the stone chamber. She headed directly for the overstuffed armchair, not sparing her companion a glance. This was merely a mutually beneficial arrangement, nothing more. She was ensuring her own well-being and by extension the well-being of her unborn baby. Jane didn't relax until she heard Loki's sigh of relief.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 233_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

The new phone rang. Jane groped for it, unsure of where she was. She blinked at the screen. 9:46 a.m. She had slept until 9:46. The phone continued to ring. Finally, she swiped the screen and picked it up, voice hoarse from sleep.

"Hello?"

"Jane? Is that you?"

Jane breathed out and recited the second passphrase. "Of course it's me, Aunt Betty. Don't you recognize my voice?"

"Well, you know me. Always forgetful."

"It's good to hear from you."

"We have a place for you to rent. Are you ready to move?"

Was she ready? Her mind spun. She just woke up. How could she make a decision like this?

"Can I think about it and let you know?"

"I'm afraid not, honey. We have other interested parties."

 _Darcy. Erik. Puente Antiguo. Isabel. SHIELD. JDEF. Agent Malone. Thor. The Tesseract. Loki._

 _Loki._

She had to do this.

"Yes, I'm ready to move."

"Aunt Betty" said, "Glad to hear it. Here's what's next..."

oooOOOooo

"Hello, Ms. Foster. How can I help you?"

"Hello. I just wanted to let you know I'll be checking out tomorrow."

"I'll make a note. Thank you."

oooOOOooo

 _Come in_ , read the note. Jane headed for her little leather refuge, then stopped short. Loki was in his usual place, but the military uniform had been replaced by Kai's simpler black outfit. Instead of the tightly wound position he'd taken the last two nights, he was carelessly sprawled out, his mile-long legs stretched out toward the fire. His eyes were closed, one arm tucked behind his head and the other flung wide, fingertips grazing the arm of her chair.

This wasn't fair. The outfit, his relaxed—even intimate—posture, the room itself: the memories were overwhelming. She hated him, but Jane fought the urge to comb her fingers through his hair, to smooth the lines between his eyes. _Oh, Kai, why did you have to be Loki?_

For the millionth time, a pang of betrayal struck her heart. _Get over it._ So she snuggled into the warm cocoon and waited to hear the signal from Loki that the weird magic was working. He remained silent, though, and after counting to one hundred, Jane peeked over her shoulder.

He was staring at her under hooded lids, still lazily recumbent.

Shoving her unease aside, Jane looked away and curled up again. If he had something to say, he would say it. She didn't have anything to say to him.

Jane repeated that to herself until she had counted to two hundred. Then she peeked again.

Loki was still staring. Well. This was not ignoring her.

"This wasn't our agreement, _Prince Loki,_ " she said, keeping her back to him.

"No, it wasn't. But I'm not known for being a man of my word, am I?"

Jane would have left right then, but for the fact that his tone was self-deprecating, which was somewhat appealing. _Careful, Jane._

He continued: "My physical discomfort is momentarily eased. My mind, however, torments me relentlessly. You are a woman who seeks knowledge, are you not? Surely you sympathize with my need to understand my apparent sudden dependence on a mortal female. What was it you said to me? 'We zero in on what we don't know and go after it'?"

Every cell of her body stood on high alert. She had said something similar to _Kai_. Did Loki remember?

"When..." her voice croaked; she cleared her throat and tried again. "When did I say that to you?"

"I don't know. Perhaps I simply imagined it. It seems like something Jane Foster would say, doesn't it?"

She didn't answer, swamped in unwanted emotions.

Loki went on in a low-pitched tone. "How did it come to pass that _you_ are my panacea, and I yours?"

"You aren't my—"

"Come now, Dr. Foster," he interrupted. "Don't deny it; I've been watching you. How you arrive shivering, but soon calm in my presence. How the worry smoothes from your face. How you fall into true sleep. How you sigh and smile while you sleep. Aren't you curious? All prejudice aside, we do make an unlikely pair, wouldn't you agree?"

Jane was equally disturbed by the thought of Loki watching her while she slept and that he had referred to them as a pair. Carefully uncurling from her comfy position, she shifted to face the Asgardian prince—for Asgardian he was, whether or not he was Aesir. And he was a prince, lounging imperiously, the picture of indolence, save for the laserlike intensity of his gaze. He looked delicious. She hated him.

"We are a _very_ unlikely pair," she agreed after she realized she'd been openly staring at him. "I'm not sure why you keep asking me how we ended up like this. How do you think a mere mortal like me could have arranged to trick you in this way? It's beyond my abilities, as I'm sure you would agree."

"And this is nothing I would ever desire, as I'm sure you would agree." (She hated him.) "So a third party is acting upon us. Who would benefit from throwing me into such a situation?"

"I'm sure I don't know. What I _do_ know is that your rune is branded on my wrist. However improbable it may be, you and I are bonded, Prince Loki."

The air was suddenly electric. Loki didn't move a muscle, though his grinding frustration was plain. He bit out the words: "That mark cannot be authentic."

It was pointless to argue. Obviously, their memories had been repressed. Hers had been restored; his had not. "It's driving you crazy, isn't it?"

No answer.

Jane chuckled. "Join the club, mister. Every facet of my life is crazy right now."

"But this is imposs—"

"Do you like being able to have a coherent thought?"

Loki remained silent. She took that as an affirmative answer, glad that he had respected the warning in her voice, and continued, "Then let it go. Neither of us fully understands how we came to be each other's analgesic. But it is what it is, Prince."

"Don't call me Prince," he muttered. "It sounds ridiculous coming from your mouth."

The crackling of the fire had a soporific effect, making the cavernous stone chamber cozy. Jane rested her head on the side of the chair, relishing this bizarre respite.

They sat quietly for so long that she thought he had decided to drop the issue. Then he asked, "Doesn't it...distress...you to be associated with me?"

Jane hesitated, then answered honestly. "Yes."

Another long pause. "Why, then, are you willing to tolerate this?"

What did he expect her to say? What did he want her to say? What was the truth?

"I haven't found a way out yet." She slid her hands to cradle her belly. "And I have someone else to take care of."

His gaze followed her hands, brow creased in bewilderment. Slowly, he scanned her body as though mapping its topography. Jane wanted to turn away, to hide Alie from this examination. But she forced herself to remain still. Maybe some shred of Kai still survived.

After what felt like an eternity, however, Jane watched as his expression cleared to blank. He shrugged and closed his eyes. "Surely the strain of all this nonsense isn't good for the _child_." His tone conveyed his skepticism. "How is my dear brother, by the way?"

She needed rest this night, so Jane simply turned her back on him and stayed where she was. And hated herself for it.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 234_

 _Boulder, Colorado_

Just a handful of files left to copy. Jane plugged one end of the USB cord into her laptop and the other into her new phone. A few keystrokes later, the machines were busy talking with each other.

Her suitcases stood by the door, the fridge was empty, the towel were neatly piled on the bathroom floor. It was moving day. Jane was not allowing herself to think about it.

oooOOOooo

"Look for the rusty, muddy SUV," "Aunt Betty" had said. There it was. Jane pulled the Corolla into a short driveway behind the other vehicle. She double-checked the address, then got out of the car, taking only her backpack with her.

The house was modest, a nice ranch painted neutral tones. Jane rang the doorbell. A tall, burly man answered; the stereotypical Colorado neo-hippie, with a full beard and a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it.

"Yes?" he said, adjusting his glasses.

"Hello, I'm Jane Foster," she said, "Aunt Betty sent me to see the house."

"Nice to meet you, Jane Foster. We've been expecting you. Please come in."

Jane stepped inside the house and looked around. The entryway led to a spacious living room. To the right, a dining room formed an L with the living room. To the left was a hallway that Jane presumed led to bedrooms and bathrooms. The house was furnished with a bare minimum of furniture, just a couch and an old dining table with chairs.

"Hi, Jane." A petite woman with a red pixie cut, dressed in an oversized sweater and leggings, walked through the dining room and smiled. "Are you ready?"

"No," Jane said honestly. "But it's time." She gestured to her midsection. "I can't keep this a secret much longer."

The woman nodded. "Cousin Fred in Albuquerque recommended that we help you out. We don't normally deal with domestic abuse situations. Our field is more...political. But Fred is a good guy. If he says Jane Foster needs to disappear, then Jane Foster will disappear."

Jane swallowed the lump threatening to clog her throat. "So...Aunt Betty, Uncle Frank, Cousin Fred...what do I call you two? Granny and Jethro?"

The man chuckled. "She's Carol and I'm Tim."

"Burnett and Conway?"

He laughed harder. "You're a smart one."

Carol rolled her eyes. "Clock's ticking, guys. Let's get started."

oooOOOooo

"How do I look?" Carol turned in a slow circle, arms held away from her body.

Tim nodded. "Good."

Jane just stared. With a long, dark wig and an exchange of clothes, Carol now looked eerily like her. Which was the point.

"All right. I need to hit the road in case anyone is watching. Jane has already been here for half an hour, which is plenty of time to look at a possible rental house." Carol turned to face her. "Jane? Are you still with me?"

A spasm of grief grabbed her heart. That might be the last time anyone ever called her by her real name.

"Yeah, I'm with you. Sorry," she said, shaking her head. "Just lost in thought."

"This isn't easy," Carol said sympathetically. "We understand. Tim and I—we've both been through tough stuff." She picked up Jane's bag, grabbed Jane's coat, and squeezed Jane's shoulder. "You've already done a good job of visiting shops and restaurants around this area. People will remember the cute scientist who's going to work at ESRL. I'll head toward Black Canyon and check in at that hotel. It should be enough to visit the park ranger's office and ask some questions about where to watch the stars. I'll make sure he sees the Toyota. He'll remember me—you. If I have any questions, I'll route them through Tim. Your job is to vanish now."

Jane nodded numbly.

"Jane Foster" walked out the door, got into her car, and drove off.

 _I've already said goodbye to my life. How is it possible that I am saying goodbye to myself? And who am I saying hello to?_

Carol had given her another manila envelope. A Canadian passport announced that her name was Sarah Jean Wilson. Her new name. A different identity. There were keys to a different house, a different car. A suitcase with different clothes. Nothing, no one, nowhere was familiar. Everything would now be fake. She'd be pretending for the rest of her life.

Instinctively, she reached for the rune brand. Stroking the lines slowed her heart rate, but did nothing to soothe the pain. Even this mark was counterfeit, the bond secured under false pretences.

A gentle touch on her back made her jump. She whirled around. Tim stood with his hands up in the "I'm not going to harm you" pose.

"We just have a couple of hours, Sarah. Could we continue?"

"You're not going to call me Jane anymore, are you?"

He smiled in sympathy. "Jane just left."

"Yeah," she said. "Okay. What's next?"

"You become Sarah Wilson."

oooOOOooo

"Welcome to United Airlines flight 829 nonstop service to Vancouver, British Columbia. All passengers may board at this time."

oooOOOooo

"Welcome home, Ms. Wilson."

"Thank you."

oooOOOooo

"Can I help you, miss?"

"Um, yeah. I left my car here in long-term parking and now I can't remember which aisle it was in."

"Happens all the time, miss. What's the make and model?"

"It's a Honda CR-V. Silver."

The attendant chuckled. "I've got a dozen of those in the lot right now. It's a popular car. We'll find yours."

oooOOOooo

Jane squinted her eyes in the dark. The GPS said to turn left, but she could only make out trees. There—a narrow dirt driveway pushed a space between two of the tall evergreens. The CR-V slowly rolled down the wooded path. A quarter mile in, the headlights revealed a clearing and a slightly shabby Victorian farmhouse. _Home sweet home._

oooOOOooo

The house was less shabby on the inside. As Tim had promised, everything she needed was already there. Furniture, pots and pans, towels. Even the fridge and cupboards were stocked. Someone had gone to significant lengths to take care of her. It should have been comforting. She should have felt safe.

Instead, she jumped every time she caught a glimpse of her reflection. Who was this woman in the baggy sweater with short red hair? She was a stranger in her own skin.

oooOOOooo

 _I can't face him tonight._

In the end, she didn't have to. Jane didn't sleep at all.

 _A/N: It's come to my attention that perhaps I was a bit too cryptic about the star gazing site. It wasn't meant to be a mystery, so I've added a small edit to chapter 25. The Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park is where Malone finds Jane's car and backpack._


	28. Chapter 27

A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc. Thanks to the lovely dristi5683 for her good eye.

* * *

 _Day 236_

 _Loki's Chamber_

Heart. Skipped a beat. Eye. Twitched.

Three days with no respite.

Jane had left him to his misery.

He had complied with her demands, had ceased probing at this conundrum. Yet she had abandoned him.

Loki cursed and shook his head, contempt overriding despair.

The movement brought immediate punishment. Agony exploded across his face.

Once he could draw a breath again, he flicked a finger, vanishing the fire.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 238_

 _Loki's Chamber_

Dark. No fire. No strength.

Remembered torture: _You will show me your true self, Laufeyson._

He had not surrendered to what felt like the final degradation. But it had cost him. The threads of his mind were unraveling dissociating the fibers of his

muscles

dissolving he was a distant memory...

Then.

Sweet cool slipped into his veins calm ease solace

"...Jane?"

"Look, I can't function one more hour without real sleep. I don't have the energy to deal with you tonight. Say nothing or I'm leaving."

She hated him.

Was this poetic justice, perhaps, how soon he became weak without her?

" _Loki, this is madness!"_

" _Is it madness? Is it?_ Is it? _I don't know what happened to you on Earth that turned you so soft. Don't tell me it was that woman. Oh. It was. Well, maybe, when we're finished here, I'll pay her a visit myself."_

He hated her.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 240_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

It had been the briefest of reprieves from his torture.

" _Show me who you really are, Laufeyson. Show me the Jotun."_

" _I can't."_

" _You won't, you mean! I want to see you, you filthy Frost Giant. And I know how to get what I want this time."_

oooOOOooo

foul filth degradation

clogs veins

chokes breath

 _shame_

 _I could not stop it_

 _I have known violation before._

 _That_

 _pales_

 _in_

 _comparison_

 _to this_

 _horror this mortification_

 _this hated skin_

refuge shelter _sleep_

oooOOOooo

 _Sarah's place_

Patchy moonlight shown through a lacy curtained window. He could see a small round table, two wooden chairs, and an old rug. Loki turned in an unsteady circle. _Are these servants' quarters?_ Was this a forgotten chamber of the palace? No matter. A quiet corner. That's all he needed. Just a safer space for a moment.

He absently scratched a persistent itch, then cursed at the sight of the alien blue claws on his own hand. The Jotun skin had stayed with him, even in his dream. It felt like a winter coat—thick and too warm for indoors. It was rough and wholly unfamiliar, the skin of an ice dragon.

Then: "Who are you?" The shaky whisper screamed in his ear from across the room.

Blood seized in his veins. Jane. No. No.

He truly had been abandoned by anything good and right and holy.

She could not see him in this form—he would not allow that. Loki slid into the shadows, humiliation twisting his stomach. Was he to be allowed not one speck of dignity? Were the Norns set that strongly against him?

Fists clenched, he breathed deeply, trying to keep control. But the bite of the Jotun ridges on his hands broke some dam inside his soul.

A red veil coalesced over his vision; shame condensed into fury. Instead of fighting the Jotun, he should surrender to it. Instead of cowering in the shadows, he would eliminate the threat.

"I have a knife," she said, voice small.

Cold rushed to form a dagger of ice in his left hand. _So do I_.

"Did Loki send you? To punish me? Like he sent the Destroyer to punish Thor? It won't work," Jane asserted. "I know this is a dream. I can wake up whenever I want to." She edged around the periphery of the room toward him, careful to stay out of the moonlight.

Muscles coiled, like a panther stalking prey, he waited for her to drift within his reach. Just a little closer...he could grab her from behind, run the blade across that pitifully weak neck. _One more step..._

A wave of relief crashed over him without warning. "Ahh!" Clenched muscles relaxed. He fell heavily against the wall.

"Loki? Is that you? Oh, Loki! What happened to you? You're blue! Do you need help? Why are you blue—oh! You—you really _are_ a Frost Gi—" She bit off the mindless babbling.

"I hate you. I'm going to kill you." Loki snarled through the choking mix of pleasure and agony, tough fingernails scrabbling to hold himself up. _If she moves at all..._

"What? Loki, it's me, Jane."

"I know who you are, Jane Foster." He slowly pushed himself off the wall, testing the strength of his legs. He held the ice blade at the ready. "It's time to be free of you."

"Don't do this," she said, standing her ground.

 _Idiotic mortal. Finish her now._ A feint to the right; a dodge to the left; a thrust for the kill—

and his legs turned to water

as the drug that was Jane Foster took effect.

 _What have I done?_

Jane spun out of the path of his falling body. The floor slammed into his head, then her boot slammed into his side. Again. And again.

Loki finally stilled her foot with a heavy blue hand. He was at her mercy and he hated her and he hated himself more. "Wake yourself up," he begged. The strength to break the dream failed him. "End. This. Please." His muscles had relaxed, but his brain was crawling with ants.

She stood over him, face obscured by shadows, though the butcher knife she held was plain to see. "No. I don't know what set you off"—low, venomous—"but this will _never_ happen again, do you hear me? Or _I_ will kill _you._ "

"You couldn't possibly—"

"If you threaten me, you threaten my baby. I'll find a way."

She retreated out of his sight. Loki concentrated on pulling air into lungs that felt too small. Gradually his vision cleared and his breathing eased. He pushed himself upright. "Let me go."

Her answer came from the darkness. "I don't think so. I'm desperate for sleep and you need an attitude adjustment."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 241_

 _Loki's Chamber_

She wouldn't come to him. She would never forgive him.

It was better this way. A clear break, if not a clean one.

He'd be rid of the inconvenient mortal. Life was certainly complicated enough without Thor's woman mucking things up. There would be quiet. Emptiness. No break in the loneliness. No respite from the torture. No one.

But...

She never stopped surprising him.

"It's dark in here without the fire."

Would she simply pretend nothing had happened?

"I'm here. The fire isn't what keeps you warm. It's my presence that—"

"I know that. I want to keep an eye on you."

Ah, there it was.

"I won't attack you. And I'm myself once again."

"Both the Asgardian and the Frost Giant are you, Loki."

"We'll agree to disagree. The Asgardian has thus far shown remarkable restraint in his dealings with you."

"We have different definitions of restraint."

"Let's return to ignoring each other."

A few moments of peace, then:

"Are those lines on your face unique to you? Like fingerprints?"

Loki recognized the detached yet focused tone of her voice: this was Dr. Jane Foster, PhD., and he was an alien artifact.

"I saw you form a knife from ice. Can you make any other weapons?"

Silence.

"How does it feel? Are you stronger?"

Silence.

"If you turn Jotun again, can I touch your skin?"

She was merciless.

"I think I hate you," Loki calmly said.

"You mentioned that. The feeling's mutual, by the way."

"Yes, your boot in my ribs communicated that clearly. If we hate each other, then to what do I owe the honor of your incessant blabbering?"

"I'm a scientist. I just saw a Jotun for the first time. I want to know everything about it."

"No."

"You're a prick."

"Agreed. So why do you continue to plague me?"

"What choice do I have?" The defeat in her voice reminded Loki of his own despair. "I've slept very little the past week. My eyes cross and my knees buckle when I walk across a room. I shiver so violently I can barely function. I'm lying to every person I know except for you, but you don't believe me when I tell the truth— _ahh!_ "

"Jane?"

"Just a kick," she panted.

"It would appear the child finds your prattling tiresome as well."

"Oh, Loki, I do so hate you, too," Jane said.

"I know."

Another muffled groan.

"Does that happen often? The kicking?"

"It's been happening more and more."

Loki was not well versed in these matters, but he was aware how a pregnancy normally ended. How would Jane, a small mortal, bear a half-Aesir baby?

"How will you survive?" he asked.

"What?"

Panic colored her voice; he had chosen his wording poorly.

"I mean to ask about giving birth. Who will help you?"

After a moment of quiet, she answered, "I don't expect to survive this."

"We have something in common, then."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 242_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

His life had been reduced to a series of exercises in absurdity. Instead of bringing Midgard under his control, he was mouldering in a Chitauri torture chamber. Rather than exacting tribute from vast hordes of mortals, he was contemplating whether and how to beg forgiveness from one small human woman.

Royal princes of Asgard didn't owe apologies to anyone. But his royal station mattered nothing to Jane Foster.

"She's not worth the trouble," he muttered. "She's a slow-witted, weak, hideous human."

Needles pricked his head with every heartbeat.

A whisper from deep inside: _Jane understands the Tesseract better than anyone else, even better than you._

 _Very well._ She wasn't stupid; after all, her intellect was the reason he intended to use her during the next stage of the mission.

 _She held her own with you quite well._

Why was he entertaining this horrible chastising voice? _Yes, all right, there are more pitiful women I could be chained to. Thank you for the little morality lesson._

 _Hideous is such a strong word._

"Oh, for the love of Odin!" Loki growled aloud. "Fine. I'll stipulate that Jane isn't...altogether...ugly _._ "

 _Not altogether ugly? Remember those whiskey brown eyes?_

"Do you mind?"

 _And on Gulfjellet, when you pulled her back from the pool, remember how she felt delicate against you, her skin so soft?_

"It is entirely pointless to attempt to entice me with Jane Foster. I am immune. And Thor has already laid claim to her. Not that that matters to me."

 _Remember how the strength flowed back to your bones when you held her?_

The curse resounded in the dream chamber.

He truly detested Jane Foster.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 243_

 _Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary_

He needed Jane. Blood dripped from a deep gash on his forehead, the consequence of a "wrong" answer to a question about the Chitauri soldiers.

He needed Jane. He breathed a prayer that he would find her.

oooOOOooo

 _Sarah's place_

He was in the servants' quarters again. Jane wasn't around, so he took a paper napkin from the table and held it to his wound.

"Jane?" he called quietly. He didn't wish to startle her; that wouldn't sweeten her mood.

"In here," she answered, her voice strained.

He followed her voice through a doorway into a sitting room, with a couch and chairs, small tables and a fireplace. A strange woman with close-cropped red hair sat in an overstuffed armchair.

She drew in a sharp breath. "What happened to you?"

Loki frowned and glanced around the room, looking for Jane.

"Don't you recognize me?" the woman asked.

"Jane?" he asked again. "Your hair—you look quite different."

Jane shrugged. "It was time for—mmm!" Her features twisted in pain.

"What is it?" Loki crossed the room to her.

"M'fine." But two sharp gasps came in quick succession, giving the lie to her words. She clutched at her side.

"Are you—is the child—is it time?"

"No. Just a kick," she managed. A tear leaked from her eye. "The child finds my prattling tiresome, remember? I think he's trying to...break my ribs to make...more space."

Loki frowned again. She truly wasn't likely to survive this pregnancy. A flash of frustrated anger: _Who will assist me with the Tesseract? How could Thor leave her alone like this?_ "Let me help."

Jane shook her head. "I thought you couldn't do real magic stuff in dreams."

"Where did you get that idea?"

"From you, at the observatory, with the scratch on my chest— _ahhh!_ " She yelped; another tear streaked down her cheek. "But obviously, if you had healed me for real in the dream, I would have realized you weren't just a figment of my imagination."

Jane wasn't making any sense; the pain must be affecting her reasoning. Loki knelt in front of her chair. "May I?" he asked.

"No. Wait. What are you going to do?"

"I'll put my hands on your abdomen and determine if I can ease your pain."

Jane lifted reddened eyes to his. "Okay. But don't you do anything to my baby."

Loki held her gaze for several seconds, then nodded. He set down the makeshift bandage, stretched his hands wide over her swollen belly, then hesitated. What was the worst that could happen? _I could lose my secret weapon._ Right. That wouldn't do.

He summoned his scant power, then gingerly touched his fingertips to her abdomen. Nothing happened, so he spread his hands flat over Jane's tunic. There was no response. Withdrawing his hands, he sat back on his haunches.

"What?" Jane asked. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I can't feel anything. I think I need direct contact. Skin on skin."

"No. No way."

Loki bristled. "What are you afraid of? That I might _ravish_ you? Don't be daft, Jane."

Jane glared at him. "Just leave it. I'm already feeling better anyway."

He sighed. "It's your choice. If you don't mind, I will stay." She didn't protest, so Loki turned and sat on the floor next to her, resting his head on the arm of her chair.

 _Oh, how the mighty have been brought low._ Loki, prince of Asgard and rightful king of Jotunheim, willingly sitting at the feet of a mortal female. And one who bore the child of his false brother, at that. Blood ran down his temple and dripped onto his shoulder.

"What happened?" Jane asked.

Loki shook his head dismissively. "Just a bit of unpleasantness. With you nearby, it should heal quickly."

Jane cleared her throat. "So...about the other night. When you appeared in Jotun form. Have you experienced that before?"

She was once again a dispassionate scientist. A pulse of shame, of rage, snagged his gut. Loki allowed it to dissipate. Jane was trying to bring sense to a senseless situation, so he simply answered, "Yes. Once."

"Did you choose to transform this time?"

"No."

"Ah." Jane let the admission settle. "Lack of consent aside, how does it feel?"

"Foreign."

"Any new abilities?"

"I feel stronger." He did. It was part of the degradation—to feel that his senses were heightened, to be more powerful, but at the cost of being that abhorred _thing_.

"Anything else? Jotun is a cold realm, isn't it? How about resistance to cold?"

"I didn't have a chance to test that, though I felt too warm in here."

"Is your skin tougher?"

"I believe that it is. I detest that skin."

"Why?" She chuckled, breaking the 'Dr. Foster' spell. "It's not a bad look for you, you know."

His head whipped around (much too quickly) to gape at her. "I'm a _Frost Giant_ , Jane."

"So? You've already got that brooding bad-boy thing going on that drives girls wild. Now you've added these dangerous-looking ridges and red eyes—"

"I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night!"

Jane hmmm'ed. "Not my parents."

"I'm surprised you're so flippant. That Frost Giant—I—tried to kill you."

"Ah. The elephant in the room. Yeah, I'm still pissed about that."

Quiet.

"For what it's worth, I'm relieved it was a dream. And that I didn't succeed." That approximated an apology, didn't it?

She cleared her throat. "Listen, I know about...about you. Thor told me."

"Of course he did," Loki muttered.

"It sucks. Your father—both of them—are pieces of work. But I won't be collateral damage anymore as you work out your daddy and image issues."

"Thank you for your inspired analysis of my psyche."

"I mean it. Don't take out your frustration on me. This mess isn't my fault."

He held her gaze for a moment, then rested his head again.

"So what happened to you, Jane? Your hair."

"I cut it. And dyed it. And I'm not Jane anymore."

"What a pity. Just as Jane was growing on me. Did you choose to transform?"

"No. And yes."

"Who are you, then? If you aren't Jane?"

"You don't need to know that," she answered without heat.

"Does Thor know?"

"No comment."

He scoffed. "The interrogation doesn't go both ways?

"Nope," she said, "unless you tell me what you want with the Tesseract."

" _You_ don't need to know _that_ ," he replied, then closed his eyes and relished the feeling of building strength.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 244_

 _Sarah's place_

Jane rested in the same chair, eyes closed, hands cradling her ever-heavier belly. He limped in and folded himself to the floor at her feet without preamble or permission.

"How do you travel without an Einstein-Rosen bridge?" Quiet; resigned; weighted. "I know you were there when I was working on that project in Puente Antiguo for Erik and SHIELD."

She was bluffing. She had to be.

"What do you want with the Tesseract, Loki? I'm scared of what you're planning to do. What will happen to us, to me and the baby?"

Something twisted inside of him at her melancholy.

"I won't let anything happen to you." As the words left his mouth, he realized he meant them. Jane Foster was his.

 _Not all of her..._

No, not all of her. Her heart and her body had obviously already been given to Thor. But her mind and skills—those were his. No one else was going to get their hands on her.

"You can't promise that," Jane whispered. "So much has already happened. So many endings, so many goodbyes..." Her voice broke.

He understood. What he wouldn't give to sit at his mother's feet once more, to stand proudly in the throne room by his father's side, even to train with Thor. But some ties, once broken, can't be mended.

She cried out. Loki turned to her. "Jane. You must allow me to help." Perhaps he could still make amends with her.

She nodded weakly. Swiftly, he slipped his hands under her blouse and over her bare abdomen. A cacophony of images, sounds, feelings, impressions, even smells, assaulted him. Loki closed his eyes and allowed the energy to come to him, not resisting it. Soft red and black swirled and bloomed on the back of his eyelids. Emotions bubbled up...discomfort, fear, sadness, but also joy and affection. The faint metallic taste of sorcery. And echoes of a voice... _Mama...Alie._

Jane moaned. His eyes flew open. "Am I hurting you?"

"No. Feels good. 'S lov'ly." She tried to open her eyes, but gave up and let her head loll to the side. "Don'stop."

Loki was suddenly aware of the intimacy of their positions. He had set to his task with clinical detachment, determined to help himself by helping Jane. But kneeling between her legs, hands splayed over her naked skin, was less the posture of a physician than a lover.

And it did feel lovely. He felt no pain. None. It was too raw, too vulnerable. He almost pulled his hands away, but he didn't want the sweet, strong _good_ to stop. Jane kept her eyes shut, for which he was grateful. _What is happening?_

Then, a nudge. Movement under his hands, slow, gentle. He carefully, carefully pushed on a bump poking out of Jane's belly. The bump slid across his hand and disappeared.

 _Hello, little one,_ he thought, feeling foolish. _Can you hear me?_

And then a faint impression: _Not mama..._

 _No, I'm not your mama. I'm your...friend. You mustn't be so rough on your mother. She's quite fragile._

 _You're like me..._

That was enough. He wasn't prepared for a deep conversation with a fetus. Loki sat back, breaking the connection. He risked a glance at Jane, but she was sound asleep.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 245_

 _Sarah's place_

How quickly they became accustomed to one another. How content he was sitting at Jane's feet. How much he didn't want to dwell on what that might signify.

"Wanna play a game?"

Pulled from his reverie, Loki blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Do you want to play a game? I'm bored." Jane sounded like a young girl. He shifted to lean against the couch opposite her chair, stretching his legs out fully and crossing his ankles.

"You seem...enthused."

She pulled a face and drove all ten fingers through her short cinnamon-colored hair. "I don't know what you did last night, but it worked wonders. I didn't feel cold all day long and this kid isn't acting like a wrecking ball. I feel almost normal."

"I'm glad to hear that." The healthier Jane was, the better his chances of getting out of this alive. "I'll play a question game with you. What is this place, Jane?"

Instead of answering, she countered with another question. "What are your plans for the Tesseract, Loki? What are your plans for the planet Earth?"

"Why did you change your appearance? Why is there no evidence of your normal life here? No machines, no stacks of journals, no coffee mugs."

"Where are you really?"

"It's clear you are in hiding. From whom are you hiding?"

"It's obvious you're being tortured. Who is torturing you?"

"Who is Alie?"

"What?" she squeaked, then immediately: "I don't recognize that name."

He rolled his eyes. "I believe I win."

Jane flapped her hand dismissively. "You seem...less dead...than a few days ago."

He snorted. "Thank you for the backhanded compliment. I must say, 'less dead' feels like a demotion. Yesterday you told me I was a bad boy that drives girls wild."

A faint blush crept across Jane's cheeks. Loki laughed and she lowered her eyes. "You were so upset about the Frost Giant thing that I didn't think you heard me."

"I heard you. I don't believe that you're sincere, but I heard you." How odd that he felt free to let his mischievous side show with her.

Her whiskey eyes snapped back to meet his. "Seriously? You're like a million years old, aren't you? And you expect me to believe that you haven't left a trail of broken hearts through the centuries?"

Loki shrugged. "You've met Thor. He's the heartbreaker of the family." He deliberately kept his voice light. "No woman has ever preferred me to him."

"Excuse me? So I'm chopped liver?" Jane blurted.

"What?" Was she delirious? Is that why she seemed happy? "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Never mind. I don't want to argue with you."

"Argue? About food? We weren't even discussing culinary preferences. I do like liver, by the way. Do you?"

Jane stared at him, then broke into peals of laughter. Loki stared back at her, unsure what had been so funny. Perhaps this was a delayed reaction to the trauma of the other night?

"You like liver," she gasped. "That's awesome," then fell to laughing again. Her face radiated delight; her cheeks were pink and her eyes shone.

"I've never seen you truly laugh before. I like it."

"Well," Jane said, sighing before giggling anew, "I've not had much to laugh about lately. Life's been rough." Her face fell and she looked away.

Loki hated to see her joyful mood dissipate. "I also like kidneys," he said. "What about you?"

Jane summoned a small smile. "Why, Prince Loki, are you trying to cheer me up? Don't you have a reputation to uphold?"

"Rumor has it that I drive girls wild. Evidently I can be charming if I put my mind to it."

"Evidently," she repeated, hands on her round belly.

"Chin up, Jane." He gestured to indicate her unborn child. "Apparently you're somewhat charming yourself."

"Not so much." She drew a shaky breath. "He's forgotten all about me."

 _You fool. You've made it worse, reminding Jane that Thor has abandoned her._ Thor was a fool, too. Jane was brilliant (likely too smart for the God of Thunder), brave, and...not-hideous. There weren't many women, even in Asgard, as remarkable as she. It was a pity that she was a mortal. That child would improve the royal gene pool if Odin would allow it.

"Thor couldn't possibly have forgotten you, Jane. Give him time. He'll come round."

She frowned, face hard. Loki sensed the mood change. "Thor is not the father of this child."

Loki scowled back at her, terribly annoyed that she persisted in lying to him. He'd allowed himself to believe that they had reached a detente of sorts. She had seen him at his worst; he'd spent precious power easing her burden. And yet she still thought he would fall for her clumsy lie.

"Then who is the father, pray tell? He couldn't be of your species. This child has abilities no human has. She spoke with me when I had my hands on you."

"That's impossible!" she fired.

"How did I know the name Alie? That's your pet name for her, isn't it?"

Jane's face blanched. "I...I probably talked in my sleep."

"You know that's not true."

She closed her eyes for a moment and took several deep breaths. When she spoke, her voice was carefully controlled. "Thor and I shared one kiss months ago, right after you tried to murder him. That's the extent of our physical relationship. Unless conception on Asgard occurs by an exchange of saliva, he could not possibly have fathered Alie."

Jane's artificially calm tone had the opposite effect on Loki. "Stop patronizing me! Who else could possibly have sired this child? Tell me that, Jane. Have you had so many lovers?"

"I—you know what? This conversation is over." She lumbered ungracefully out of the armchair and took a few steps toward the door.

"What other non-Midgardians have you met?" goaded Loki. "I doubt even Fandral had enough time in this realm to get under your skirts. Who have you been intimate with lately?"

"You!" she cried. Jane whirled around and planted herself in front of him, hands on her hips. Her newly cropped hair flopped into her eyes. "You are Alie's father!"

He unfurled himself, unwilling to allow her a height advantage. "You are a liar, Jane Foster."

"I bear your rune mark!" She yanked up her sleeve and held out her arm for his inspection. "You did some sort of ritual, then we consummated the bond. In your chambers. Then you disappeared. I don't know why your mark doesn't show up. I don't know why you don't remember." Her shoulders slumped; she dropped her arm. The fight drained from her voice. "How could it have meant so little to you?"

Loki and Jane stared at each other. Tears glittered in her eyes. He forced himself to remain still, afraid of what would happen if he gave rein to the chaotic emotions clogging his insides and coating his throat.

It was clear that an outlandish plan to trap him had been manufactured by parties known and unknown. How absurd, how offensive, to imagine that he could be snared by Jane Foster.

And how angry he was to discover that the plan had nearly succeeded. Because he had been imagining what it would be like if the bond were real. What if Jane genuinely was his: mind, heart, body, and soul? What if Alie were his flesh and blood? But this was fantasy; they belonged to Thor, the golden one. And so Loki wanted Jane to feel the humiliation as well.

He erased all traces of feeling from his voice and expression from his face. "We've had this conversation before, Dr. Foster. I would never debase myself by _breeding_ with a lower species. Particularly with a specimen such as yourself. Your intellect is tolerable but..." He ran his eyes deliberately over her ungainly form. "You leave a lot to be desired, Jane."

Jane flushed and tears spilled down her cheeks. "Get out," she said quietly. Lifting her chin, she repeated, "Get out. Don't come back. This is just a dream. I'll wake up in five, four, three, two, one."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 252_

 _Sarah's place_

Whatever had masked his pain when he laid his hands on Jane, it had ceased being effective. The rebound was hellfire in every cell, melting his bones.

It had been seven days. She was staying away, withholding, punishing. He was no longer amused by her stubbornness, her defiance.

"Jane!" he growled.

The sitting room was dark and empty. These games were tiresome. "Jane!"

A faint noise came from another room. He followed it down a narrow corridor to a small room. One lamp threw a sickly wash of light over an unmade bed. Tangled amongst the bedding was a still, crumpled figure.

"Jane!" His pulse thudded in his head, flashing pain with every beat. Loki rushed to her side in two long-legged strides.

She did not respond.


	29. Chapter 28

I own nothing!

* * *

 _Day 253_

 _Asgard: Heimdall_

Frigga haunted him, watching his eyes more than listening to his words. Heimdall could not hide Jane much longer. He had spoken truth—of sorts; he did not see Jane's dead body. Perhaps there was still hope.

Thor had called to him, but there was no easy way to send a message in return. Odin had refused to allow the use of dark matter: Frigga had chosen to reveal only that Jane was missing and Thor was distressed. This was not an event worthy of using precious strength; Jane was merely a distraction for his son.

But Frigga knew that Jane Foster was so much more than that.

 _ESRL, Boulder, Colorado: Darcy_

Missing. Such a horrible word, so hollow. Panic, pain, sorrow, dread, without closure. Just endless heart-thumping grief, drowning out hope and wishing.

Jane was gone. And it was partly Darcy's fault. She never told anyone about the mark, about the bond...about the baby. She had promised Jane that she wouldn't tell. She had promised that Jane could trust her. But had that trust led to Jane's disappearance?

Erik and the others kept talking about how Jane likely died doing what she loved. They tried to make sense of it, to find something positive in her disappearance. But they don't know what Darcy knew.

Her heart ached and her brain was exhausted. But then Darcy read the report. _Do it. Do it before you lose your nerve again._

"Thor? Wanna get out of here for a bit, go for a walk?"

 _Vancouver, British Columbia: Jane_

 _Safe._ The word, the feeling, the idea sent a tendril into Jane's sleeping mind. _Safe._ It took root, stirring and shifting her deepest subconscious. _Safe._ It budded, nudging her sweetly up through layers of sleep. _We're safe..._ Blooming, it returned her to wakefulness.

Light brushed her eyelids. Jane blinked, then opened her eyes fully. _I'm alive._ She tunneled her hands under the heavy comforter to find Alie. A gentle bump assured her all was well. The ceiling blurred...tears of relief slowly wet her pillow.

For days she'd existed in a frozen hell. Jane squeezed her eyes shut against the memory... _gasping for breath through blue, cold lips, bruises blossoming from every point of internal impact, unable to eat._ _No one to help. Can't trust anyone—can't expose anyone._ Day bled into night paled to day. Over and over. _How long does it take to die?_ Coughing, bright red smear on the tissue... _just let me go..._

 _How am I—how are we—still here?_

 _ESRL, Boulder, Colorado: Thor_

 _I will tear him limb from limb. I will personally rip the beating heart from his body. Now. Immediately. I will find Loki and make him pay for what he's done._

Towering thunderheads, howling winds, gathering electricity...

"Thor? I'm so sorry, so, so sorry. I didn't know how else to tell you. But that storm looks really bad. And it's gonna be hard to keep this from the others if you make the city go boom."

" _I'll pay her a visit myself!"_ So he had.

 _This is beyond the pale. Coward. To go after Jane. To make her lie, to destroy her life...and to leave behind a child._

Black sky, funnel clouds, ozone...

"Hey, big guy...I need you to focus on me. The lightning rods here on Earth can't take a hit from you. Is there anyway you could relax, put Mew-mew down?"

 _How could Heimdall not have known?_

Hair stands on end, the air rushes out of the atmosphere...

"Thor! You're gonna kill us all!"

 _Darcy. Breathe. Hold. Think. Breathe. Control._

 _Asgard: Heimdall_

Time had nearly slipped away. Treason threatened.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 254_

 _Sarah's place: Loki_

He drifted loosely through dreamscapes, the clamor and sting of his waking life held far at bay. Jane fit tucked under his chin, her short hair tickling him. She fit held to his chest, his hand cradling her pregnant belly.

In unison they breathed, a slow inhale exhale, as they had the last three nights.

The night was melting away.

He needed to leave before she came out of deep sleep, as he had the last three nights.

He wanted to stay.

 _Fool._

oooOOOooo

 _Day 255_

 _Dark Horse Pub, Boulder, Colorado: Darcy_

"What do we do now?" Darcy stage-whispered as Thor drained his fifth beer. She wanted to be discreet, but this place was crazy on a Sunday night. She had wanted to be discreet on Friday, too, but Thor's God of Thunder act kind of screwed that up. Malone had practically shoved them into a side room when they stepped back into ESRL...

 _Malone had ripped off his suit coat, and roughly rolled up his sleeves._ Ooh, nice arms, _Darcy noted. Not as large as Thor's, of course, but whose were?_

" _What just happened out there?" he demanded. "You two take a walk and fifteen minutes later, the entire city is scrambling to take cover from the storm of the century."_

 _Darcy folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow. "And you just assume that was Thor's fault? Geez."_

 _His glare may have singed her eyebrows. She sighed. "I just thought Thor should know—"_

 _Malone cut her off. "No, I want to hear from him. You—you're a distraction."_

A distraction? Nicholas thought she was a distraction? _She yanked out a chair and plopped down._ Wait. Is being a distraction good or bad? Oh, my word, Darcy, pay attention. Thor started talking and what if he doesn't stick to the script?

" _...me to apologize for creating such a commotion. I allowed my emotions to override my good judgment. I am deeply grateful that Darcy Lewis brought me to my senses. "_

 _Malone cut his eyes her way. She worked hard to keep a dignified expression, when she wanted to be all, "In your face!"_

" _What did Ms. Lewis disclose that caused you such emotional turmoil?"_

Could Thor convince Malone?

 _Thor calmly set Mjolnir down on the conference table and turned to face Agent Malone fully. "Ms. Lewis wished to have a private conversation with me. For that reason we left your company."_

" _Private conversations during the course of an active investigation are discouraged, particularly private conversations which nearly bring catastrophe on the city. If this conversation in any way related to Jane Foster, then I have to ask you to report it to me."_

 _The blonde god took a measured step closer to Agent Malone, his heritage evident in his proud bearing, though he wore jeans and a button-down shirt. "I don't believe I'm bound by the laws and customs of this realm."_

 _Malone stood his ground._ That was hot. _"If you wish to be considered a friend of this realm, you will comply."_

 _Thor looked to Darcy. She nodded slowly; he sighed. "Very well." He leveled that cerulean gaze on Malone. "We believe Jane Foster was neither the victim of foul play nor of an accident. We believe she chose to...that is, that she perhaps put herself in harm's way."_

 _Malone jammed his fingers through his typically neat hair. "You think she committed suicide." Keeping his eyes on Thor, he said, "And how long have you kept this information to yourself, Ms. Lewis?"_

Ms. Lewis? Ouch. _"Since I read the final report of the scene at the river. So just a few days."_

" _What in the report made you form this opinion?"_

" _Her backpack was lying on the bank with her laptop and her phone in it."_

" _That's correct. So?"_

" _So, that's crazy. Jane would never do that. Not under, you know, normal circumstances. I saw the photos. That's a freakin' steep trail from the visitors' center to the river. It's winter. You practically have to count on falling a few times. She wouldn't have risked damaging her laptop if she had been expecting to use it again. And don't tell me she took it down to the river to map the stars. You don't have to be an astrophysicist to know that you don't hike down into a narrow split in the land to watch the sky."_

 _Malone studied her face. "So someone grabbed her out there in the wild."_

" _Yeah, sure. After, what, asking her politely to remove her backpack? And leaving absolutely no sign of a struggle? Jane wouldn't have gone quietly."_

" _Why would Jane have taken her own life?"_

 _She drew a shaky breath. That, at least, was not acting. "She never really recovered from the trauma of the Destroyer's attack on Puente Antiguo. Finding out Loki had promised to return for the Tesseract sent her into a depression. And she felt like she would never be free of SHIELD's control and invasion of her privacy."_

Darcy signaled the waitress to bring them both new beers. Thor stared into his nearly-empty stein, just swirling the amber liquid. She reached across the table and poked his arm. He looked up.

"Hey," she said. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes." Thor stared into his glass again. "I don't know what to do next."

"Look, there's no way Jane was the one who left that backpack by the river. Forget about the stupid laptop—she would never have climbed down there in her condition. Even though this crapfest screwed up her whole life, she wouldn't even consider termination. She wouldn't have put the baby at risk like that."

Thor flinched when she said "baby," and Darcy felt bad, but he had to face facts. She pushed farther. "Someone wants us to think that she's dead. What if Loki took her? We have to find her!"

Thor shut his eyes. "I'm not sure Jane Foster wants to be found."

oooOOOooo

 _Day 256_

 _Vancouver, British Columbia: Jane_

Fog draped the sun. A clammy drizzle kept Jane inside the farmhouse. The view out of every window was gray and bare.

But weather was a passing thing, and winter was more than half over. Perhaps she would buy some flowers to plant on either side of the front steps. She didn't expect any visitors, but she could enjoy the bit of color.

It was foolish, she knew, to plan for the future. The chances of her seeing spring were slim. But a few nights ago she hadn't expected to live to see the dawn, and here she was.

Three mornings ago, when she awoke whole, she had wondered if Thor had found her, as he had in Puente Antiguo. There was no blond savior waiting in the kitchen, however; no sign that anyone had been in her house. And yet something had happened. Strength trickled back to her bones, muscles, and soul day by day. Insulation seemed to have developed around her womb. The cold was merely cool; the destructive kicks simply bumps. Occam's razor forced her to conclude that Loki had saved her life, and that of Alie.

 _Don't put too much stock in it_ , she warned herself. _He gets as much relief out of mutual contact as you do._ Evidence suggested that Loki did very little which didn't directly benefit him. He had likely saved her life to avoid losing his own. Loki was using her as a painkiller: he snuck in and out of her dreams so stealthily that she was never aware of his presence. She meant nothing to him. He had made that crystal, cruelly clear.

oooOOOooo

 _ESRL, Boulder, Colorado: Thor_

It hurt to breathe.

Before Darcy broke her silence, broke the news, broke his heart—before, he'd believed they would find Jane. They had to. He would find her, he would rescue her, and he would never let her out of his sight again.

Now he mourned. Darcy was convinced Jane was alive. But whether Jane was alive or dead, wherever she was, she was forever out of his reach. Darcy had pleaded with him...

" _Thor, she didn't know any of it was real until it was way too late. She had no idea the mystery man in her dreams was an actual being, let alone that he was Loki. Don't you understand?"_

He wanted to understand. But it was beyond him.

" _Why didn't Jane come to me for help? I would have done anything to make this right."_

" _Is there a way to undo the bond? Could you have fixed it?"_

" _No—I don't know. But I would have hunted Loki down and made him pay."_

" _Yeah, I know. She knew that, too. And that's why she couldn't tell you. She and I were pretty sure Loki did this to get your attention. He wanted to start a war."_

" _He has."_

Every heartbeat tore his chest. Every breath was fire.

oooOOOooo

 _Sarah's place: Loki_

It was just as well both he and Jane would probably die in the near future. It was just as well he would never be welcome again in Asgard; just as well Jane had little hope of a reunion with Thor.

Thor would undoubtedly secure one of Idunn's apples for Jane, which meant Loki could spend the next few millennia as Jane Foster's brother-in-law. That would be awkward, to say the least.

Could he refrain from staring at his brother's mate, reliving the raw bliss of curling himself around her delicate form? Was it possible to forget how her silken skin had slaked his agony? Would he be able to resist finding excuses to touch her, testing to see if the magic still held?

He'd be driven to distraction wondering if Thor appreciated her keen mind, if Thor understood the whispers of their unborn children. For there were certain to be more babies; Thor would want a son, many sons. He would want to be surrounded by miniature versions of himself. And each time Jane grew round with new life, Loki would be galled by memories of these fleeting days when she was his only solace, when she was his to hold, when she was his...

"Uff...Loki?" Jane's sleep-husky whisper shot electrical awareness through his veins. He cursed himself a million ways: in his asinine musings, he had tightened his grip on her. He kept silent and still; she slipped further back into slumber.

Yes, it was just as well...

oooOOOooo

 _Day 258_

 _Vancouver, British Columbia: Jane_

There. A whole car load of groceries, all unloaded and put away. She'd learned her lesson. During that hellish week, she'd had little appetite, but the pantry had also been bare. The future was precarious. While she had energy, she would take care of herself and her child.

A strong nudge from Alie felt like encouragement. Chuckling, she patted her belly. "How about some tea? Rooibos?"

Water in the kettle, burner on, favorite mug, a bag of organic tea...a few minutes later, Jane relaxed at the kitchen table. The tea was hot and strong, the ceramic mug smooth to the touch. She glanced around the kitchen. The harvest gold fridge door was slightly crooked. Spidery cracks marked the upper corner of the wall above the living room door. Faded woven rugs padded and warmed the floor. The wood of the table was aged smooth and shiny. She saw everything for the first time.

"I've been in a fog, baby. I've just been living in my head. I'll try to do better, okay?"

oooOOOooo

 _Day 259_

 _ESRL, Boulder, Colorado: Thor_

Thor mourns for his brother, too, how far he's drifted from those childhood days when they ran around the palace, rescuing each other from one misadventure after another. Not for the first time, he wished the All-Father had not kept so many secrets. Perhaps fate was fate, but could a different path have been plotted?

Loki intended to possess the Tesseract. That was evidence of a lust for power, not surprising in one whose natural inclination to rule had been thwarted. Possessing Jane Foster, however, was deeply personal, intended to inflict pain on _him._ It was Loki's declaration that their relationship was severed. Thor wouldn't hesitate to wring the life out of Loki, but he feels that loss keenly.

There's one thing he can't quite work out, though. Thor knows he's not a genius, but he isn't dull-witted, either, and this one has him stumped:

How did Loki fool the rune magic?

Was revenge was enough of a motivation, enough passion, enough commitment, to create the bond? Loki is very skilled, perhaps skilled enough to trick the ancient incantation. Thor hopes that is the answer.

Because the alternative—and it was truly hard to form this idea—was that Loki _didn't_ find a way around the requirements of the bond spell, but had fulfilled them.

oooOOOooo

 _Day 260_

 _Sarah's place: Jane_

 _Funny,_ Jane thought. She hadn't been aware of Loki's presence, but she was acutely aware of his absence. Rest eluded her. _It doesn't matter,_ she told herself. _One night isn't a big deal. We'll be fine._

 _We're fine,_ she repeated while her heart thumped and she wheezed a breath. _We're fine._ The rune brand burned. Was someone squeezing her head in a vice?

Jane's eyes shot open. This was her bedroom, with the washed-out floral wallpaper and the pink low-pile carpeting. All looked normal and quiet; no strange sounds or sights. But she felt nauseated. Something was wrong. They were _not_ fine. _Breathe, Jane. Think. Calm down._ She needed Loki. He would know what to do. But she'd never tried to find him before. He just showed up.

Could she find him? More to the point, _should_ she? No. _Leave it, Foster. It's foolish to be dependent on Loki. You can handle this._ Her heart rate slowed. She drew deep, cleansing breaths. _Breathe in...two...three...four, hold...hold, breath out...two...three...four. Good. See? We don't need him._

Jane smiled, confident in her choice, a beat before a wave of horror engulfed her. Her heart accelerated crazily; she couldn't take a full breath; her stomach churned; the hair on her arms stood on end. What was happening?

Clutching her belly—was she protecting or being protected?—Jane begged, "Alie? Alie, sweetie, I don't...this is crazy. But can you help me find him?" Asking the question lowered her blood pressure. She closed her eyes again and willed herself to relax, to sleep. Slow, deep, breaths. The pressure in her head loosened.

Gradually the atmosphere morphed; the darkness grew denser, oily. Muffled groans and sobs floated in the background. A faint acrid smell burned her nostrils. The walls thickened and twisted into stone, the ceiling lowered. Dim yellow light came from torches mounted on the walls; it was neither fire nor electricity. Jane strained in the murkiness, but could make out only vague shapes. The brand on her wrist tingled. Loki had to be near. At least she hoped he was near. They hadn't parted on good terms two weeks ago, but she preferred him to whatever else might be creeping in the shadows.

"Loki?" she whispered. Dream or no dream, it didn't seem wise to draw attention to herself. Against the wall, a small movement came from what she had thought was a pile of stones. She stepped gingerly over unidentified puddles and cracks in the dirt floor, then crouched down next to the tangle of limbs.

"Loki?" she repeated quietly. What if it wasn't him? Then again, what if it was him?

"No," came a plaintive, grating moan. "No. You...shouldn't be...here."

 _Thank God._ "I had to find you." Technically, she hadn't found him yet. The darkness wasn't just an absence of light; it was a _thing_ itself. Even with the torches, she could barely tell that the mass in front of her was a living being.

"Leave, please," he gasped. "I don't want...you to see."

His voice gave him away; he was in bad shape. She suspected that the panic and terror she'd felt had been coming from him. Swallowing her unease, she whispered, "This is exactly where I need to be. What can I do?"

"Go...away."

Jane was afraid of fumbling in the darkness and making his pain worse. And she was wary of him; what if he turned on her again?

"Jane."

"I'm not leaving. Let me help, just as you've helped me. Let me touch you, Loki."

"It's not...safe," he ground out. But he shifted—a tactical error!—and she swiftly reached out to grasp the moving limb. It was his upper arm, bare and covered in some slick liquid.

"No!" Loki protested in a furious whisper. He half-sat and twisted his upper body, trying to shake her off; the movement instead allowed her to slip behind him. She leaned against the stone wall and cradled his upper body.

"Jane, no! You'll be—" He went rigid, his considerable weight pressing into her. _Was he going to say I'd be crushed? Ugh. I should have listened._ Then, suddenly he was boneless, his head lolling to the side.

Panic speared her. _Is he dead?_ No, his heart still beat under her hand. Directly under her hand, in fact. She was touching skin. He wasn't even wearing a tunic. Her eyes strained in the weird light-dark, but it was probably for the best that she couldn't tell whether he wore breeches or not. _Concentrate. Does he have any obvious open wounds?_

Jane skimmed her hand over his upper body. Her mind gathered data and triaged it rapidly. First, to her relief, he was breathing regularly and his heart was steady. Second, there were no gaping wounds, though there were multiple minor cuts on his chest and arms oozing blood.

Third, ridges covered his upper body. She had touched his bare chest once before—best not to dwell on that memory _—_ and there'd been no markings like that. In this strange atmosphere she could not tell that he was blue, but he must be Jotun again.

Fourth, he was _cut_. Long and lean, his biceps, chest, and abs were sharply defined. Jane chided herself for even noticing. _This isn't important._ Some animal part of her brain whispered back, " _Oh, but it is..."_ She grit her teeth. Loki was in this awful place—he'd been terribly abused, and she was thinking about how hot he was. _Geez Louise, Jane. Creepy much?_

She allowed herself to study his face. That wasn't too much of a violation, was it? She'd never seen Loki unguarded like this. Other than the half-moon markings on his forehead and cheeks, he looked like himself. His eyelashes were still long and lush. His nose was straight and patrician. His cheekbones could slice steel like butter. And his lips... _Back to the Jotun markings._ The lines on his forehead looked like a diadem. He was Laufeyson, she remembered with a start, the rightful king of Jotunheim. Jane rolled her eyes. No wonder he was terminally arrogant: royalty was literally engraved on his skin.

Skin which she ached to explore, though, and not just as a scientist. Her hand actually twitched, so strong was the desire. _What is your deal, Jane?_ She had done so well thinking of him as Loki, not as Kai. Any residual feelings for Kai had been compartmentalized and deliberately squashed. She was a strong, independent woman. Who was being turned to a puddle of hormones by an unresponsive, blood-covered man in a disgusting place of fear, torture, and death. _Nice._

Jane glanced back at Loki, right into red eyes. "Oh!" she cried softly in surprise.

"Did I hurt you?"

Jane shook her head. "You're not _that_ heavy."

"I meant—did I burn you?"

She merely shook her head again. That shade of red—was it crimson? Perhaps it was more vermilion—no, ruby. Definitely ruby.

Several seconds passed before Loki broke eye contact. He pushed himself up and turned toward her. "Show me your bare skin."

Jane blinked. "I'm sorry...what?"

"Your hands, your arms—whatever unprotected skin you have," he said impatiently. "You likely have frostbite."

She obeyed, stretching her arms out palms down, even while she said, "I would have felt it."

He ignored her. "Turn them over," he said.

She did. He took longer to inspect the tender skin of her inner arm, but he must have been satisfied, because he closed his eyes and rested his head on the wall. "It's a dream," he said. "Of course you wouldn't get frostbite in a dream."

Jane shrugged, though he couldn't see her. She could see him better now—a trick of the dream, perhaps—and she marveled at the stark beauty of the Jotun. His ebony hair suited the shade of his skin, which she decided was somewhere between cornflower and periwinkle blue. She also decided not to mention those color names to him. The marks and ridges on his chest complemented those on his face. It was obviously just scientific curiosity _(obviously),_ but she couldn't tear her eyes off him.

Again, without warning, his eyes were staring at her. She jumped, and he scoffed. "Have you had your fill of the monster, _Dr. Foster_?"

"What? No! I mean—" she fumbled, cheeks warming.

"Leave," he interrupted. "I believe you've served your purpose this evening. Be gone," he said coldly, and closed his eyes again.

Anger spiked her blood. She opened her mouth to tell him off, but some remote bundle of neurons in her brain finished a calculation she hadn't known was in process: Loki did this every time. Every time they found a way to co-exist, every time the tone of their conversation eased away from acidic, every time they got anywhere close to comfortable with each other, Loki would push her away, bait her, insult her. And she reacted. Every. Time. So predictable. _And I'd thought I'd been in a dysfunctional relationship before._

She blinked, startled by the thought. Was this a _relationship_? This ultra-bizarre state in which she and Loki were entangled, mostly against their wills? They were co-parents, though he didn't believe her. The moment of their baby's conception was the only time she'd ever seen him outside of a dream, though she hadn't known it. A brand was seared into her skin. According to Thor, this signified an eternal bond. Loki confirmed it was his rune, though he claimed it must be fake. They couldn't take being apart for any length of time, though they couldn't tolerate each other for very long. An unexpected bubble of slightly hysterical laughter escaped her.

Loki's eyes opened, though he didn't deign to look at her. "Jane Foster. For one of your intellect, you seem to be particularly obtuse this evening. You are no longer welcome here."

Since she'd heard that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome, Jane took a gamble and did something different. "Thank you for saving my—our—lives. I haven't had the opportunity to say that yet."

"Why do you assume I did anything?"

She hid her grin by ducking her head, as if she was feeling shy. Yep, predictable. "Just...thank you, Loki."


End file.
